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**Guest** · 02-05-2018, 07:22 AM

I want to move in with my dad but my mom won’t let be do it

**Guest** · 02-11-2018, 06:25 PM

I want to move into my dads house but I am only twelve.

my dad abandoned me when I was first born but he still came back when I was three. My mom says that my Grandma isn't my grandma even though she has no say over who's my Grandma in my opinion. She got a new boyfriend who has a criminal record and gets mad when I talk to my dad or anyone on his side of the family. She never lets me leave the house and expects me to watch HER kids all the time for nothing. She pays my older sister $20 every week for "watching" my siblings when she doesn't actually watch them, sh sits and plays the computer all day long and makes me watch them the second I get home.

i don't have time to do my homework because I am either doing my chores or watching my siblings. She doesn't let me contact her mother who has MY dog.

if I move in with my dad, I will get an allowance, be able to see my dog, get help on homework, leave the house every once in a while, and give me my own room. whil meanwhile at my moms I have to share a room with all my siblings which means 5 kids 1 bedroom.

**ccsmod1** · 02-12-2018, 12:23 AM

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here to listen and to support.

It sounds like you have been having a rough time for quite awhile at home. We want you to know that you deserve o feel safe and happy at home. It can be difficult to have a conversation with your mom or grandma if they are seemingly unwilling to listen to how you feel. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to them so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, family friend, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you feel like you need help having conversations about how you're treated with your grandma or mom. You could talk about how you feel like you can't do your homework and are missing being able to call other members of your family and we could possibly come to some resolutions.

You can also give us a call and a liner could help talk you through other options you may have been thinking about to make your home life better. Don't hesitate to give us a call so we can best help. We could also talk about what you could do for the possibility of having custody transferred to our dad or the ability to see your him more often.

Best,

NRS

**Guest** · 02-26-2018, 02:16 AM

Im 15 and my dad got sole costudy of ne when i was 5 and he verbly abuses me and i know its not mentally healthy living with him cause i wanna die around him i just want to live with my mom and she wants me too but he i feel if i tell him he is not going to let me.pls help.

**Guest** · 03-04-2018, 07:33 PM

I am 16 and it has been 10 years since I seen my biological father and I found him on Face Book and I started to text him on messenger. Well my brother had the smart idea I will tell all that has been going on so he told him. Then my mom found out and then she got mad at us. Then she said I will not stop you from seeing him. Then an hour later she said well if you want to live with him go but she said in a voice that she did not care what happens to us so I am confused if I should go live with him or stay she is pulling me her and he is pulling me his way so that are playing tug awar with me. so He said he was getting a lawyer and get us and we want have to deal with being confused.

**ccsmod10** · 03-04-2018, 10:57 PM

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do, or what your next step might be from this point on.

It sounds like your mom hasn’t been supportive of you reconnecting with your dad, which must be really frustrating. You should have the right to get to know your father without her trying to manipulate you or make you choose sides. An option that could be useful would be our conference calling service. You would have to call in and then we call your mom together, to have a conference call. We can try to help you talk through some of the issues with her in a neutral way – and hopefully help her understand how you’ve been feeling. We could also talk to her about you getting to know your dad, and seeing him more.

We have heard of courts allowing the youth to choose which parent the youth wants to live with. We also have legal aid resources in our database, they help youth for free. They may know different options for you to be able to live with your dad full time, or represent you in court. If you’re interested in those services or resources, let us know and we will try our best to connect you with them.

You’re not alone in this and you do have options! Your voice is heard and is important to us. If you’d like to talk more about the options we listed, please don’t hesitate to call us. Our safeline is open 24/7.

Be safe, NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

**Guest** · 04-02-2018, 10:50 PM

I am 16 years old and my parents were divorced when I was 4. I no longer want to live with my mother. I want to live with my dad, but he owes a lot of child support. Do I still have a chance to move with my father? He's working and has a home with an extra bed room for me. Is there still a chance I can move with him?

**Guest** · 04-09-2018, 07:14 PM

I am 16 years old and my mom and dad split up when I was younger.I had to live with my mom all my life and I’m 16 I can’t stay at this house no more with her she treat me and my twin very bad and call us out our name say we are ugly cuz we look like our dad she talks about our dad to us mostly every day I can’t take it no more I love my dad I want to go live with him we’ve been talking to him for like a year now and it’s like we are so close with him we deserve to be treated better then this and she also treat my two brothers and sister better then us she would go and buy stuff for them but if we ask she a say no so we wouldn’t have nothing so I feel like if we was with our dad everything would be so better bc he would treat us right.He told us it was gonna be ok daughters y’all gonna get out of that house and come with me we’re yall get treated better and not have to do everything for grown kids.We also feel that we have a sister that is 20 with a 6 mouth old baby and my mom do everything for her and the baby which that’s crazy bc u do more for your 20 year old and her baby then she do for her us. I feel if we move with my dad me and me twin life would be so much better.Could y’all pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help us so we can move with our daddy.

**Guest** · 04-19-2018, 07:51 PM

I want to leave my dads. I go to a very difficult school and it puts a lot of stress on me, I got caught vaping and ever since my dad has become insane. He won't let me see my friends calling them fast. There's a camera in my room, something that watches everything I do on my computer a dim stuck living with him even though I suffer from depression and he acts like its fake and its so mentally abusing so I want to move because its so tiring living here and I understand I made a mistake but he won't let it go. And the problem is that although my mom is totally open to letting me move and tells me there are space and their happy shes halfway across the country, and I'm scared to talk to my dad about it but I'm so unhappy.

**Guest** · 04-29-2018, 07:33 PM

My parents divorced about 3-4 years ago and I knew I wanted to live with my dad from the start but I never got the choice. Before their divorce and since, my mom has had a history of awful anger management which when my dad went away to the military, turned into physical abuse but she called it "discipline." It's been mild since the divorce, though it was bad at the start, but now the mild physical stuff has turned into emotional abuse. Constantly calling me an ungrateful, disrespectful brat. She says she does so much for me, but her money can't fix everything she's done. She told me and my sister she would blow her brains out and that it was because of us. My dad said he'd try, but because of my age it would be really hard to get me out of there. And I've tried to talk to my mom about not wanting to live there but she always turns it into some victim of circumstance kind of thing and makes me feel bad or actually genuinely shows motherly love, making me change my mind. But I can't forgive her this time, she went too far and I need to get out of there, what do I do?

**Guest** · 05-03-2018, 05:50 PM

I just need some answers if someone can help. I have a great relationship with my mom and she has recently decided we and my 3 other siblings are going to move to another state within the next 6 months because of some personal family issues. My 3 other siblings are only half-siblings so I have a different dad than them. But, the only thing holding us back from going right now is my dad said absolutely not, I am 16 and my mom said legally he can not stop me from moving with her. She said the court will go with what I want because I am old enough. Well I told my dad that and he said my mom can't move me out of state without his permission until I am 18. So I am confused and can't find anything to answer this. Can my dad legally stop me from moving with my mom to another state at 16?

**Guest** · 05-05-2018, 10:33 PM

hi. I'm 16 years old and want to move in with my father. I presently live with my mother, step dad whom is the worst, and my other 4 siblings, nana, papa, and little baby niece, and my oldest sisters husband. I cant stand my life here and I just want to leave. I've ran away before but my dad knows where I go and tells my mom. I'm not abused I just simply would like to move. where my dad lives I am alone just him and I. I have my own room get everything I need. I have more opportunities there as well with the schools. I would be able to start my drivers ed. I cant do any of these things here because we don't have the money. and I believe my mom doesn't care and I do not want to be stuck here forever. what can I do to move legally and what can my mother do?

**Guest** · 07-01-2018, 03:52 PM

I want to live with my dad I am 14 and live with my mom right know my moms side of the family puts me down and doesn’t except who I am and want to be they say that they don’t support me and I have had suicidal thoughts and have self harmed myself from it my mom is very sick and has been sick for 7 years I have talked to my dad about living with him and he said he would take me in but my mom says that if I decided to live with my dad she will never talk to me again and she has multiple times threatens to kick me out of the house and makes me do every thing when my mo found out I was self harming myself she took away everything and grounded me taking away everything when she went to talk to my tharipist I said I would not talk if the told her anything I said while I was in the sessions my mom made the therapist tell her what I had said and when she found out grounded me again I don’t know what to do I want to live with my dad but if I decide not coming home over the summer and weekends is that running away

**Guest** · 07-18-2018, 01:08 PM

Hi my name is Lily, I am 12 years old and me and my brother want to move to my dads. My mom and dad got divorced in 2012 and I would say about a year ago I’ve want to move with my dad. My mom is very overprotective with just me. I feel like I can’t go anywhere. Also, she is not fair by the rules. I always have to a bunch of stuff in the house and my brother gets to sit upstairs playing on his play station 4. It’s so unfair, I have even told my mom that I do all this stuff and she gets to sit upstairs and play fortnite. But when I try to bring up moving with my dad she get very angry or she cries. She i remember telling her that I would do that oh no I’m joking but I’m not I want to move with my dad. Lastly, my brother and mom fight a lot. And sometimes I’m dragged into them. My dad knows I want to live with him but I don’t know how to tell my mom. Any advice.

**Guest** · 07-23-2018, 09:53 AM

Hi, my name is *********, and I'm 14 years old. My parents got a divorce when I was 4, and ever since, I've had the thought of wanting to move in with my father. I currently live with my mother about 70% of the time. This summer, my mom has changed her perspective of "staycation" entirely. It's currently summer vacation for me, and because of her, my summer is slowing being taken away. All my mother wants to do is make us work, for pretty much the whole day, without any sort of pay. I've had bad memories from the past during these times of work. Usually, it's work inside the house, but the level of what we have to do (normally cleaning) puts a stress on me.

You might not think cleaning is such a bad thing. After all, it'll just help the house. Not that type of cleaning. Our house is impossible to fully clean, and it's not even me and my brother's fault. It's a losing battle that's going to last forever, because there's too much in our house to fully cleanse it. We've had sewage problems that have lasted for years, and still exist today, which that in itself puts a strain on the house.
Whenever I ask my mom if I want to go somewhere, she'll make me work to do it, most of the time. If not immediate work, she'll put a scare on me in saying things around the lines of "Tomorrow's gonna be a huge work day" and making me enjoy my free time less. Whenever we do work, she says things that mothers should not be saying, whether she means it or not.

My father, who is only a 15 minute drive from my mom's house has a general idea of what's been going on here, but he does not know that I am up to this level of annoyance with her. I've tried talking to my dad, but I feel like if I talk to him, he'll just tell me to try and deal with it, and not be that much of a help in the end. I have a bike, and I could possibly bike all the way from my mom's house to my father's, but there are some busy roads that I'd have to work around (It's an 8.7 mile bike).

There are two things clashing before my eyes in this situation: happiness and education. The school I go to is one of the best in my state, and I'd like to continue attending there, entering my freshman year of high school. If I were to move with my father, I might have to attend a different school, which is significantly worse and my mother works in that district, but at least I'd be living with my father. If I kept living with my mom, I'd still go through mental pain, but at least I'd have a good education.

My brother, who is 16, is aware of the issue with my mom, but not my issue that I want to move away to my father. Me and my brother do not get along very nicely, so I do not know what his reaction would be if I were to tell him.

So I've drawn up a pretty complicated board, so I'll summarize one last time: My mother keeps me and my brother inside most of the time to work, and when we want to go out somewhere, she'll make us do extra work the next day. My father is unaware of the situation up to this degree, and I don't know how I should talk to him. If I were to move to my father, I'd have to weaken my education to keep my happiness, and if I were to stay with my mom, I'd continue to be less happy than I used to be, but I'd have a good high school education. My two houses that I live in are close enough that I could bike to them, so if I were to move, I'd be alert of possible intervention with my mom, and I'd probably lose my outside connection, as my mother pays for my phone.

What should I do?

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Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

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