Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thank you so much for reaching out, it took a lot of courage to do that. It sounds like things are really hard at home right now for you and your siblings. You all don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve a safe home and to always have access to food and other necessities. In situations like this it can help to talk to a friend, a teacher/school counselor, a relative, or another trustworthy person. You sound really responsible and are handling a tough situation with a great maturity. It’s awesome that you have your boyfriend, siblings, and dad to help support you right now.

Withholding food can be considered neglect and you do have the right to file an abuse report against your mother. If you want to file an abuse report we can help with that if you give us a call or chat with us. The national child abuse hotline, Child Help 800-422-4453 can take the report. Reporting may lead to your mother having her custody rights revoked. As far as visitation is concerned we aren’t legal experts here, we can try to help you find legal resources in your area if you call or chat with us to make sure you get the correct information.

Thank you again for reaching out. We are here 24/7 to listen and support you. Please don’t hesitate to call us at 800-786-2929 or chat with us if you would like to further discuss your options. Good luck with everything!

Moving in with Dad, Mom is CRAZY!!!

so, as a 10 year old writing this, you can tell that’s how dire my situation is getting. My mother is being absolutely ridiculous to me, my 17 year old brother, and my 2 year old sister.
often, she has kicked us out of the house(not me yet, but my 17 and 19 year old brother and sister while younger.)
she has occasionally gotten mad at one of us, and taken away our FOOD privileges.

my 19 year old sister cannot afford a college tuition, so she decides to stay with our grandma, as my mother has driven her out of the house.

she puts way too much stress on me. She has me cook for us, do laundry, clean the entire house, watch my 2 year old sister, once, I even had to walk home in the pouring rain. I also constantly have to vacuum her car, Do dishes, and I set up and decorate the Christmas tree with only my brother. And he put on what, 2 ornaments?
actually, just yesterday I cleaned off an entire shelf, because my mother is in debt 10,000$ to the state of Indiana, because she lost a mic-key, or what ever the pump thing for people who can’t eat normally. My life is miserable and when I move in with my dad, I really never want to come back. And, as a 10 year old, I’ve done as much research as I can. And is it true I have to visit my mom? Oh and, There is maybe 10 minutes for me to write this, so I’m trying my hardest to hurry.

my actual, real, reason for writing this, is because when I move in with my dad, I want to know if I can revoke, or change, my mothers visitation rights. Once I move in there, I’d never like to come back, unless it’s visiting my boyfriend(yes I’m gay) or something inportant like a funeral.

please reply ASAP, as I’m moving in with my dad in about 4 months.

[ccsmod0]

Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your sister are in a difficult situation and are looking for some options. We want you to know that neither of you deserve to be treated the way that you are being treated. We also want you to know that you have the right to report what you have been experiencing again. We understand that you have made a report with CPS and things did not go the way that you wanted but you can always follow up with someone at http://justiceforchildren.org/ Justice for Children’s Call Center helps when the child protection system fails to protect a child. They offer information, guidance and assistance for youth in need.
It is great that your dad is on your side and giving you some helpful tips. Going to a counselor at school sounds like a great plan. The more adults you have on your side the better. It also helps to have someone to talk to about what is going on. Being able to talk to someone about what you are experiencing might help you brain storm other options not previously thought of. You can always contact us as well. We cannot tell you what to do but we can talk to you about all of your options. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We want you to know that you are not alone and we care about you. Please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
Best,
NRS

I’m in the same predicament. I’m 14 and my sister is 16. She moved back in with us about 2 months ago and ever since then my mom has called us trashy, pathetic, losers and all the other names in the book. She smacks us around and makes us do all the chores cook clean and if we don’t do it to her specifications we get yelled at. I asked her to move out and she yelled at me. She took all of our electionics away and we aren’t allowed to watch tv or listen to the radio or go anywhere besides school and then go right home. What do I do? I talked to my dad and he said go to the school counselor and she said write a letter to the friend of the court. Around 2 years ago mine and my sister called cps and she told them we were pathological liars and they dismissed the case. What do I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time to send us a message. We want to commend you for coming forward about your situation. If you call us at 1-800-786-2929, we can provide emotional support for you during this difficult situation. We also can help facilitate a conference call between you and your mother if you would like a non-judgmental space to talk to her in. We can definitely help you find legal resources too in order to help you discover what your options are. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, so we would not be able to tell you what your options are legally.

Hopefully this was helpful. We again thank you for reaching out, and invite you to contact us again. We are staffed 24/7, so we can help whenever you need it. In the meantime, best of luck.

-NRS

I am in a really difficult situation. My dad just moved to Florida and I live with my mom. I am 13 and i am having mixed emotions on where I want to live. My mom and I have been fighting for a week already and I don’t know what to do. I told her that I would like to live with him because I miss him and because we are fighting so much. She keeps on yelling at me because I wrote her a note saying that i want to live with him because I am scared of telling her myself. I don’t know what to do? Help me please!

[ccsmod16]

Hello, thanks for reaching out. It shows incredible strength to reach out and talk about the way you are feeling. We are so sorry to hear you feel your dad and stepmom do not love you and only love your stepsister.

It is understandable that you are upset and wanting to live with your mom. A couple of things to keep in mind: how old are you? In both NC and SC, the legal age of adulthood is 18. If you are under 18, then who has custody of you? If your dad has sole custody, then living with your mom would mean she would need to go to court and get custody of you. That may be tough if she is struggling with alcoholism as you said. If your parents share custody, it may be a little easier for you to stay with your mom, then.

It sounds like a really tough situation to get grounded and not be able to talk to friends or keep up with your streaks. We are so sorry to hear your dad and stepmom call you names. You do not deserve to be spoken to that way. If you feel there is any abuse (verbal, physical, sexual, neglect) going on, you always have the right to report it. Child Help (the national child abuse hotline) can help with that and help answer what may constitute as abuse if you need more information. You can reach them at 1-800-422-4453 and childhelp.org.

You also mentioned your mom struggles with alcoholism. This is a really tough situation for you as a youth to handle as well. There is a program called Al-a-teen that is for teenagers who are loved ones of alcoholics: https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/. They have online resources, a chat service, and you can also find a meeting in your area here: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings...ateen-meeting/.

If you wanted help talking to your dad about possibly living with your mom or with another family member (like an aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend), we do offer conference calling as well between you and your parents. You can call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can do a conference call, talk more about your situation, find additional resources, and consider more options for you.

Thank you again for posting today! You are really brave and strong for asking for help and handling so much stress on your own already. We are here 24/7 by phone and also by chat on our website. Take care and contact us anytime!

I want to leave my dads house.

My dad and stepmom love my stepsister more than me and im tired of it. they find the stupidest reasons to ground me so i dont get anything good. They have called me a disrespectful little ********** multiple times and im done. I and currently grounded because while being grounded for having one bad grade i had an extra phone to do my streaks and text people. I just want to move in with my mom although she is not the best mother and is battling alcoholism i would rather lives with someone who wants me for who i am not the perfect person my dad and stepmom expect me to be. PLEASE HELP ME. i dont know how to switch over or how to approach my dad about this my dad currently lives in SC and mom lives in NC.

[ccsmod6]

It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, so we’re glad you’re reaching out to us because we are here to help. If you wanted to talk to someone about what is going on, we are available 24/7 on our hotline at 1-800-786-2929. Our phone number is a great way to talk about your situation and to help you think of some options about what to do next in a more immediate way.

If you don’t want to talk on the phone just yet, this forum post is a great first step in making a plan for yourself! You mentioned that you are extremely depressed and that you have cut yourself many times. From your post it seems like you’re going through a lot, and we have heard of other people dealing with certain situations by cutting, but we’ve also heard of other ways of coping as well. There are other methods you can try that can help you deal with some of your feelings, like journaling, creating pieces of art, or speaking about it with someone (like a friend or a trusted adult perhaps). Sometimes coping or talking through your feelings can be helpful in finding options or next steps. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone close to you, we know of a resource called To Write Love on Her Arms. If you text TWLOHA to 741-741, a trained counselor receives the text and responds quickly. They know a lot about self-harming and coping and might be a good resource to reach out to the next time you feel like cutting yourself.

You also mentioned that your mom shot you down the last time you tried to move in with your dad. We are sorry to hear about that! Your dad might be a good person to tell how you feel if your mom did not take you seriously. You could then and ask him to speak to your mom on your behalf. Having your dad advocate for you could help you avoid another argument with your mom and let her know how your feeling and what makes you want to leave her house without having to do it by yourself.

There are plenty of resources and options available to you, so if you reach out to us either by responding to this forum post, calling our hotline, sending us an email, or chatting us, we here to help 24/7. We’re confidential and here to help.

Best of Luck

I need to leave my mom’s house.
Hi, I’m 15 and I am extremely depressed. My mom treats me so poorly Andy she doesn’t even care. I have tried to move in with my dad before but she just shot me down. We just got into a argument and she called me a disappointment. I have cut myself many times because I’m just not happy. She doesn’t spend time with me and whenever she does it gets used against me. I just want to be happy again... please help.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thanks for posting on our forum here at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that you see to be having issues at home with mom. It sounds like there’s a lot going on.
Unfortunately we are not legal experts. Typically you’d have to be an adult (18 years old) in the U.S to be able to choose which parent you live with. Otherwise, it is usually up to your legal guardian who has custody over you. If both parents share custody, it would be up to both of them to agree where you lived.
We’re sorry to hear you’re not happy with your mother. If you wanted to give us a call directly, we can talk a little more about the situation. We’re available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and can also be reached via Live Chat on this website.
Best of luck to you,
NRS

how old do you have to be, to leave your mothers home to live with your dad if your not happy where you are with your mum.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit about your situation. We’re glad you contacted us for help.

You mentioned that your parents divorced when you were little, growing up with divorced parents can be really hard. It sounds like you’re wanting to live with your dad instead of your mom. Unfortunately, we’re not legal experts. We have heard of the courts letting the youth decide which parent they’d rather live with. It sounds like your mom is the one who was given custody over you. If she says that you can live with your dad that should be fine, or maybe you could try to stay with your dad a few nights a week? We do offer conference calling between youth and parents, if you need help talking to your mom, we can definitely help you talk with her. We also have resources for legal aid, they may be able to help you find ways to be able to live with your dad instead of mom. If you call in, we’d be happy to look for those!

NRS is open 24/7, so we’re always a call away. If you’d like to explore those options more please don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. We’re here to help in any way we can.

Best, NRS

when I was about 2 years old my parents got divorced and I want to live with my dad now but he just got out if prison and I wanna know if I can move in with him

[ccsmod1]

Hello Molly,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.