Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[mariah2blue]

i want 2 go live with my dad

My mom had me when she was 18 and my dad said that he needed 2 get his life together before he could be in my life so my mom got mad and kept me away from him but realized how much i needed him and missed him so at the age of 10 she started letting me see him more but now im 13 and she is going crazy she had my little brother with her boy friend reggie and it seems like she loves him more than she loves me and im 13 now and im. Still getting whippings (which im 2 old for) and i have a lot of chores and lets not even bring up how hard school is i have decided that i need 2 go and live with my dad because if my mom keeps doing this we are going 2 get in a fist fight and i really don't want 2 hurt her cause i love her.But i cant take it anymore and i need 2 go and live with my dad as soon as possible please help me i just need 2 know how 2 get out of here. 🙏🙏🙏

[ccsmod2]

re: i want 2 go live with my dad

Hi,

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 and my parents got divorced about 4 years ago. After that my mom took all four of us kids to Minnesota where her family lives. My dad still lives in Arizona where we grew up. We see him for spring break, summer and Christmas break but that's it. My dad tried to get my older brother to come live with him about a year ago but my mom became so crazy and manipulative to him that my dad backed down and stopped taking her to court. Things aren't the best here with my mom. She is always working, she doesn't cook except for frozen dinners, and all of us are doing bad in school. My brother was even expelled. I think that the positive environment of my dads house would help me so much. I don't get along very well with my mom. My dad recently filed papers to get me and my older brother to move and this time his is not backing down. My mom is getting the papers any day now and she will not react well. I am scared and it will most likely take a while for us to move and I don't want to be around my mom for that long because when my brother tried to move she was very manipulative and mean. I am also afraid for my younger sisters because I will have to leave them behind an I don't know how they will react. I know this is te right decision but I don't want to destroy what little relationship me and my mom have. And court battles = less money for a while which is hard because we don't have that much right now.

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you would like to go and live with your dad due to issues that you have been having at home with your mother. It is understandable that you would want to leave your mother’s house where she is hardly around for you and your siblings. You mentioned that your father has taken steps to take your mother to court for custody. It seems like your father is doing everything in his power to follow the proper channels to get you guys back in his life too.
We understand that this whole process can be lengthy and stressful. You sounds like a really resilient person to have gone through this already. Have you considered talking to a teacher or other trusted adult? You might find it helpful to talk to someone about what has been going on. Talking to someone you trust can provide a great deal of comfort and support. It is great that you are able to see when your environment is bad for you and are able to realize what it will take to make it better. We hope that things work out for you and your family
Again, that you for reaching out to us. You are a really brave person for sharing a bit about what is going on in your life. If you have any more questions or want to talk more about what is going on please feel free to give us a call. 1-800-786-2929

[Guest]

I'm 13, I live/d with my mum and the other day I wanted to sleep over at my dad's house (as I don't get the opportunity much) and she kept saying she won't drop me off. My dad also lives with my 2 aunts and my uncle's 3 kids and wife. 1 of my aunts then came to pick me up but my mum was screaming saying no you can't go and my aunt just said come, I quickly packed my things and went. I then got a text from my mum saying don't come back, I went back today and collected clothes ect. Not everyone at my dad's house knows what's going on, I don't feel welcome here but nor do I at my mums house. What shall I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

We are glad you reached out to us, it sounds like you are in a really difficult situation with your family right now and we are here to support you. It must have been confusing not knowing if you should stay or go, and now it sounds like you are unsure of what you should do now. This can be a difficult decision to make alone, and sometimes it can be helpful to reach out to a family member you trust to help you. Another option to consider is reaching out to someone at school, like a counselor or school social worker to help with figuring out what to do next. If both of your families don’t want you to stay with them, you can also call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453, where they can provide you additional information and support on child abuse reporting for neglect, as your parents are legally responsible for you and providing you with shelter. This must be a stressful situation, and if you’d like to talk more in depth about your situation and options, we are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and you can remain confidential.

Best,
~NRS

[Guest]

I want to go to my moms but I am supposed to be at my dads. How can I convince him. I want to go because when I am at my dads I am alone I have no one to talk to. My sister is always in the basement watching movies and when I talk to her she tells me to go away. She always fights with my dad. I FaceTime my mom as much as I can, but I am still lonely. Please get back soon. I am 12 so i can't just leave as I please my dad has to agree. Please help!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help in any way we can. It sounds like things are frustrating right now with regard to where you can stay. One thing we do at NRS is help facilitate a conversation between family members about difficult topics, such as between you and your dad to discuss ways to make being at his place a better environment for you or to discuss ways for you to spend more time at your moms. We can also help discuss other options including other family members who you may be able to reach out to about the situation or ways to talk to your sister about how you are feeling.
We are available to talk through these options and discuss your situation further at 1-800-786-2929 or online at www.1800runaway.org where we have the option for email or our online chat services. We hope to hear from you soon and we wish you the best of luck!
Best,
NRS

[Guest]

How can I move from my moms to my dads? i am 11 years old and I HATE living at my moms house. I have been in her custody ever since they got a divorce when i was really young. My stepdad who lives with me and my mom has shoved me and grabbed and pulled my arm, which has made it red, and my mom doesnt even care. ALso today my stepdad took my door off the hinges and i have no privacy just because i slammed it. I got home from my dads and right away my mom yelled at me so i went into my room and slammed the door (which every kid does once in a while) Another time my stepdad has even said "you are lucky i didnt shove you right down the stairs." He said that because i said i will get the dog in ONE SECOND. and i even said it nicely. While all of this is going on my mom doesnt care and just tells him that he shouldnt do that. She doesnt do anything else about it. My friends say that, this is the defintion of MODERATE child abuse. I looked it up and SUPPOSEDLY it is moderate child abuse, I want to live with my dad and stepmom because they are way nicer and wont abuse me. I called them screaming and crying and they said that they have never heard me cry like that before. They are considering it because i always tell them how my mom and my stepdad are HORRIBLE parents. If me and my big brother are both sick, my mom will give him medicine and just say to me "oh well, i dont think u have a fever". I always cry in my room and i have depression because of them. How much trouble can i get in for running away to my dads? Will he get into trouble? I hate my mom and stepdad so much. PLEASE HELP ME ASAP!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED HELP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to live with my dad and stepmom, is that too much to ask when my stepdad abuses me and my mom doesnt care! he doesnt sexually abuse me but he has done all of the above. he has even almost made me fall down the stairs and has karate chopped the gate because he embarrassed me infront of my friends and got mad at me for doing nothin. WE had to get a new gate. AM I OLD ENOUGH TO MOVE IN WITH MY DAD? AND DO I HAVE LOGICAL ENOUGH REASONS TO MOVE IN WITH HIM? i sure think i have logical reasons. PLEASE HELP ME ASAP! i am about to run awya move in with my dad or die.

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. First off we if you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse whether it be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
If a response from NRS is not visible to a bulletin posting it may be that we have already provided services to that individual through another platform we provide such as or our live chat service (in operation every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST). NRS encourages anyone in need of assistance to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to receive immediate support.

[Guest]

Hi my name is Paige, my parents divorced when i was 6. Now i'm 15. My step dad as caused so many problems. With me too. He and me fights over nothing. He starts stuff with me all the time. He throws stuff at me and my mom. For years now. I have been ready to move out but, i don't know the right thing to say without breaking my mom heart. My mom loves him so much. She says all the fights is my fault. What should i do or say to her for she will understand i want to move out. My dad lives 3 hours away. Please tell what to do.

[ccsmod0]

Hello Paige,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable in their home and we hope we can help you get to a better situation.
Although we are not law experts here at NRS, we can tell you that you cannot move out before the age of majority (which is 18 in most states). If you decide to leave, your mother could file a runaway report and if you come into contact with police, you would most likely be forced home. A resource you may find helpful is Child Help- a hotline for youth in potentially abusive homes. The number of Child Help is 1-800-422-4453 or you can go to childhelp.org. If you feel in immediate danger, please don’t hesitate to call 911.
We understand that this is a very difficult situation and we encourage you to call us so we can talk more in-depth with you.
Hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

[Guest]

My best friend is going though so much at her house her mom yells at her for stupid reason like if she don't want to play a family game or something she get in trouble get her phone taken and even get threaten her and were Junior and going to be Senior in a couple of months and she wasn't to live with her dad because her mom always yelling and making big deals out of little thing she say she tried of it and she get anxiety from how her mom treat her sometimes like if she needs medical help and she ask a wrong way i guess then she want take her but if her little sister have a medical problem she will blow off anything its like she treats her better and she hates it she never get to go anywhere one time she went to a party and she didn't text her mom ever hour and she went home and her mom didn't let her see her daddy for almost a month and she be breaking down when her sister do thing like spit on her she cant do nothing about it cause her mom want let her she got to sit there and let her kick her and spit on her and etc but her sister is 8 and where 17 see the difference her sister talks back and more getting but let say she do it she be on her case so fast she was trying to deal with it and she have for a long time but she says she's done with it she wasn't to move out and live where he dad and she behind on her credit and she got a plan with our school make it up this summer and she be fine her mom is trying to move there family and its going to mess everything up she got with our school how do she even know if she move the other school will even let her do that or even get her the help she need and she stressed out about it and she had 2 panic attacks in one week and her mom treats her like a maid she has to do all the cleaning there's 4 of them her little sister don't do nothing neither does her stepdad nor her mom she like a maid if she don't clean the house by the time her mom get off she getting yelled at and threaten

[ccsmod0]

Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your friend is having a hard time living at home with her mother but is great that they have you looking out for them. You mentioned that her mother yells and threatens her which sounds like a stressful environment to live in. It is understandable that she would want to live with her dad where she is treated better.
We know that you mentioned that she is eager to live with her dad. Do you think that, that is a conversation that they have had? Hopefully if she explains the mistreatment by her sibling, mother and step-father they can both come up with a workable plan to get custody transferred.
Another thing that she could try is getting in touch with someone to talk to about the issues at home. Perhaps talking to someone at school or a trusted adult about ways to make things better for herself. Often talking to an outside source can help us think of new options and possibilities that we would have never come up with on our own.
Again, thank you for contacting us. It definably sounds like you are trying to do your best with that is going on. If you feel comfortable you are more than welcome to give us a call anytime 1-800-786-2929

[Guest]

My mom wants me to move every day she'll yell at me and when I try to talk about problems she mocks me later on about " mom you always yell me can you calm down a little please " 4 days elapsed and. She said I would say it but I don't yell and harm my feeling in a mocking tone ...... I'm done with this living situation

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us today. It sounds like you’re going through a lot at home and there’s some tension between you and your mom. Living with someone you argue with everyday definitely isn’t an ideal situation, and it’s pretty responsible of you to come to us before making any set decisions.

So, just to let you know, when you leave home before the age of 18 you would be considered a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it is considered a status offense. This means that your parent(s) could file a runaway report against you and the police would be looking for you and would have to take you back home if they found you. Running away won’t get put on your record, and you won’t get arrested for it. If you’re seriously considering leaving home it’s best to come up with a plan for it, including where you would stay, how you would get food and money, how you would finish school, etc. You want to make sure you can survive out there on your own and that you’ll be safe.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us again if you need to! We want to make sure you’re safe and doing alright. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 and someone will always be here to answer you and listen to what’s going on.

We wish you the best of luck!

[Guest]

I want to leave my dads house

Hi, im 15 and i can not stand my father anymore. He doesn't allow me to stay home from school even if I'm sick, and doesn't allow my mom to see me at all on his day.They have 50/50 custody, but i just want to live at my moms. he continues to tell me to quit the job i have no because it is an inconvenience to him but he doesn't even drop me off or pick me up there . I just can't handle it here anymore. I don't want to hurt his feelings.I have told him that i was going to move in with my mom but he said that i was not allowed too. He always tells me about my mothers wrongs and how she is such a horrible person, and how I'm am just like her. He favors my 2 younger sisters so much and i hate it. They don't even think of me anymore. If my sister does something bad he outs it on me. Whenever i do something wrong he has to go out and tell everyone he knows. Him and my step mom put me down everyday and it gets me depressed. I also have medical issues (proven by doctors multiple time) but they just tell me I'm making it up and lying to them for attention. They won't even pay anything for me. I had to buy my own driving lessons, glasses for driving, all my clothes because they say i down need anything, and most things in my room.I just need help on what i should do...

[ccsmod2]

re: I want to leave my dad's house

Hey there,

We can't give out advice or tell you what you should do. We recognize that it is uncomfortable for you to be at home, so you want to live with your mom. Instead of going to live with your mom, and potentially causing problems, you could try talking with her about a solution to what is happening with your dad. You may also want to be aware of the fact that you could cause your mom to get into legal trouble for letting you stay with her. It's best to seek out a legal counselor for information on custody laws.

Take care and good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

My parents divorced about two years ago now and my mother and I had a recent fight and she was saying 'Your not staying with me anymore, you don't talk to me, your living with your father now!' And I was like 'Okay.' In my head when I talk to her I say stuff like 'I don't like you that's why I don't talk to you. You obviously don't care about me anymore. I hate living with you. You don't understand me and if you did you'd know I'm depressed etc.' So I thought I could finally leave and live with my father. I was telling my close friends. I was so so happy for once in a long time. But today she said that I'm only living with my father for the summer and once school starts I'm moving back here. We got into another fight and I was trying to tell her 'I don't wanna live with her I want to live with my father.' She was saying things like 'So you can do nothing' I replied saying 'No I do things at dad's' 'Then why don't you do them here' in my head I said 'because I can't really bring myself to do anything here' She wants to fix our relationship and I don't trust her anymore she already lost my trust and she isn't getting it back. She was telling me 'I already had to give up your brother because I was young and dumb and I was to proud to go on heath care like everyone else in America. Your living with me.' Now I brought this up to my father a while ago that I wanna live with him and I remember that I am of age (13) to have a decision on child custody and who I wanna live with.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Please know that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us.
It sounds like you and your mom living apart is needed, and it’s great you were able to get that space by moving to your dads. You mentioned that your mom wants you living back with her after the summer. Maybe your dad can contact lawyers he used when your parents were getting divorced, in order to advocate for you to stay with him. You also said that you’re able to decide where you live and who has custody over you, which is great! Unfortunately, NRS is a non-directive organization, so we aren’t here to give out advice, because you know your situation a lot better than we do. NRS does offer a conference calling service between youth and their parents. If you need more help talking to your mom about staying with your dad (long-term), we could definitely help facilitate that conversation!
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

[Guest]

When I was really little my mom and dad got a divorce. I've always been living with my dad and I'm not sure if I should move to my moms house. I know I won't have any friends but want to. I'll hopefully make new friends but I was hoping you could help me decide.... thanks in advanced




~a confused child

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
It sounds like you are trying to make a decision about which parent to live with.
That must feel like a tough one to make.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.

If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to move to my dads house

i been wanting to move to my dads house for a while because of the schools i hate the schools in NY and the schools are better in NC , thats where my dad lives im really frim in my decision and im not giving up what should i do to get my mom and dad to talk about me moving beacuse each time i try to show her the website on the school and all she does is just ingores me

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to us today. It sounds like you’ve been wanting to move in with your dad for a while. It would be very frustrating to keep trying to show your mom reasons you should move and to have her just ignore you.
From what you shared, it sounds like you’ve talked a bit with your mom about the schools in North Carolina, but perhaps you haven’t talked with her about all the reasons you want to go and live with your dad. One way to get our parents to talk to you about moving might be to try and intentionally sit down and have a conversation about it. Maybe that means asking your mom if you and her can plan some time to sit down and talk together, when you both have time to pay attention and focus on the conversation, or sharing some of the other reasons you want to go and live with your dad. Depending on your relationships, you might also consider whether it would be best to talk to your mom and dad together, or talking to them separately.
If you find that your parents are still not being receptive to listening to you, you might consider trying to get another person involved to help advocate for you, such as another family member or a family friend. Here at National Runaway Safeline we also offer a conference call service. If you call our hotline, we can call your mom and/or dad with you over the phone to help facilitate a conversation, offer support, and advocate for you.
Our hotline is available 24/7, and in addition to conference calls, we’re also here to talk to you about your situation and offer help and support (1-800-RUNAWAY). Good luck and we wish you all the best.

[Guest]

Hi, I wanna move in with my dad


So I'm currently 14 and will be 15 on the 9th. And me and my mom live with her sister, we have been for a couple years now and me and her share a room. my mom and dad have been separated since I was like 4 years old. my dad lives in another state with his girlfriend and her 2 kids. but recently he told me I could move in with him if I wanted. he said I could have my own room and everything. I don't wanna live with him forever but just a year or so. but my mom is kind of unstable mentally and she doesn't have a social life or have a job or anything so she kind of relies on me, I know she'd think I was taking his side over her's if I lived with him because he hasn't really been there for me and she hates him for that. and I know it'd break her heart if I told her I wanted to move in with my dad for a whole year and left her. but I'm just so fed up living here, shes always bothering me and i have 0 privacy when i do try to get some time for myself she complains about it and trys to make me feel bad that I'm not spending time with her. I just really wanna move in with him and get out of this house. but I don't know what to do about my mom.