Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going on. It sounds like you have been through some tough situation and are in an environment that isn’t very supportive. It looks like you have taken steps to get support through your therapist, but turned out to be a very vulnerable moment that got you into a situation with your mom that wasn’t helpful. You mentioned suicidal thought and self-harming, if you ever are considering harming yourself, you can reach out to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.

It sounds like there may be some custody involvement to where it may be good to discuss with either of your parents what has been decided by the courts. That can be a start to knowing what you can and cannot do and what determines running away. We aren’t legal experts, but if you wanting things to shift, you would need to get permission from your parents for them to communicated with their lawyer. Kicking you out of the house at 14 can be seen as a form of neglect and is illegal. If you ever feel like reporting it to Child Protective services is what you want to do, you can call them at Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

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I want to live with my dad I am 14 and live with my mom right know my moms side of the family puts me down and doesn’t except who I am and want to be they say that they don’t support me and I have had suicidal thoughts and have self harmed myself from it my mom is very sick and has been sick for 7 years I have talked to my dad about living with him and he said he would take me in but my mom says that if I decided to live with my dad she will never talk to me again and she has multiple times threatens to kick me out of the house and makes me do every thing when my mo found out I was self harming myself she took away everything and grounded me taking away everything when she went to talk to my tharipist I said I would not talk if the told her anything I said while I was in the sessions my mom made the therapist tell her what I had said and when she found out grounded me again I don’t know what to do I want to live with my dad but if I decide not coming home over the summer and weekends is that running away

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re wanting to go live with your dad. While we’re not legal experts, we can give some general information. If your dad has partial custody of you, it is possible that you can go stay with him with no court intervention needed. If your mom has full custody of you, your dad would need to file for custody of you with the courts. Since you are 16, it is possible that you would have some say in where you go and who you stay with. In any case, it could help to get in touch with a lawyer for more concrete answers.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe!

hi. I'm 16 years old and want to move in with my father. I presently live with my mother, step dad whom is the worst, and my other 4 siblings, nana, papa, and little baby niece, and my oldest sisters husband. I cant stand my life here and I just want to leave. I've ran away before but my dad knows where I go and tells my mom. I'm not abused I just simply would like to move. where my dad lives I am alone just him and I. I have my own room get everything I need. I have more opportunities there as well with the schools. I would be able to start my drivers ed. I cant do any of these things here because we don't have the money. and I believe my mom doesn't care and I do not want to be stuck here forever. what can I do to move legally and what can my mother do?

[ccsmod5]

Hi, there,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot right now with your dad. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts and there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to custody cases. To get a clear and specific answer, you would need to get in touch with a lawyer. If your father has partial custody of you, your mom may need to go to court to get full custody of you.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe!

I just need some answers if someone can help. I have a great relationship with my mom and she has recently decided we and my 3 other siblings are going to move to another state within the next 6 months because of some personal family issues. My 3 other siblings are only half-siblings so I have a different dad than them. But, the only thing holding us back from going right now is my dad said absolutely not, I am 16 and my mom said legally he can not stop me from moving with her. She said the court will go with what I want because I am old enough. Well I told my dad that and he said my mom can't move me out of state without his permission until I am 18. So I am confused and can't find anything to answer this. Can my dad legally stop me from moving with my mom to another state at 16?

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you have been through so much – having to deal with emotional and physical abuse, being apart from your dad, and your mom’s manipulative behavior and threats of suicide. No one deserves to be treated that way.
You always have the right to report this abuse. You might want to think about making a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.

Another thing to think about is making sure you have the right support in place, like a counselor or another trusted family member to talk to, since you’re under a lot of stress. Sometimes it helps just to be able to get things off your chest. If you feel comfortable you can give us a call and we can discuss all of your options, as well as find resources in your area 24/7 at 1-800- RUNAWAY.
It shows a lot of strength that you’re reaching out for help. We wish you the best of luck.

My parents divorced about 3-4 years ago and I knew I wanted to live with my dad from the start but I never got the choice. Before their divorce and since, my mom has had a history of awful anger management which when my dad went away to the military, turned into physical abuse but she called it "discipline." It's been mild since the divorce, though it was bad at the start, but now the mild physical stuff has turned into emotional abuse. Constantly calling me an ungrateful, disrespectful brat. She says she does so much for me, but her money can't fix everything she's done. She told me and my sister she would blow her brains out and that it was because of us. My dad said he'd try, but because of my age it would be really hard to get me out of there. And I've tried to talk to my mom about not wanting to live there but she always turns it into some victim of circumstance kind of thing and makes me feel bad or actually genuinely shows motherly love, making me change my mind. But I can't forgive her this time, she went too far and I need to get out of there, what do I do?

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in an unfortunate situation with your dad and it makes sense that you would be upset about how he is treating you. It sounds like your dad’s reaction is disproportionate for the situation, so please do know that you don’t deserve to be mentally abused. You did mention that you’re scared to talk to him about the situation, but it might be an option to just have a conversation with your dad to clear the air. You might consider asking someone else to be there while you have that conversation, like a guidance counselor or one of your other family members. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation, as well. Another option might be to just write your dad a letter letting him know what you’ve been thinking. Even if he doesn’t respond, it may help to just clear the air. In the meantime, it can be helpful to talk to someone about how you’ve been feeling. You deserve to be supported, even if that support doesn’t end up coming from your family.
It sounds like you’re thinking about moving in with your mom. If your mom has partial custody of you, that shouldn’t be an issue. If you’re having trouble talking about it with your dad, you might want to ask your mom to call him instead. If your mom doesn’t have custody of you, she would need to get in touch with a lawyer to file for custody of you.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe!

I want to leave my dads. I go to a very difficult school and it puts a lot of stress on me, I got caught vaping and ever since my dad has become insane. He won't let me see my friends calling them fast. There's a camera in my room, something that watches everything I do on my computer a dim stuck living with him even though I suffer from depression and he acts like its fake and its so mentally abusing so I want to move because its so tiring living here and I understand I made a mistake but he won't let it go. And the problem is that although my mom is totally open to letting me move and tells me there are space and their happy shes halfway across the country, and I'm scared to talk to my dad about it but I'm so unhappy.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.
It sounds like your mom hasn’t been treating you and your twin very well at home, which isn’t fair for you and must be really stressful on you. You should have a say when it comes to which parent you’re going to live with. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. If your mom has custody, being your legal guardian, he is the only one who can give you permission to live elsewhere. So that means that if you did leave to live with your dad, without her permission, she could report you two as a runaway. If the police find you, they will return you to your custodial parent.

We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you. Or we can try to get her to agree to let you and your sister to live with your dad. Sometimes just being able to talk can be a way to open up the lines of communication, and see the best way that everyone can compromise. You are also always able to report the abuse that you’re going through to CPS, or staff at school.

We have heard in some cases, where the judge will listen to the child’s input on which parent they would rather live with. You may want to ask your dad about that. We also have a database of legal aid resources that help youth for free. If you wanted us to connect you with those resources, don’t hesitate call into our safeline.

We hope our response is helpful. In addition, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

Be safe, NRS

I am 16 years old and my mom and dad split up when I was younger.I had to live with my mom all my life and I’m 16 I can’t stay at this house no more with her she treat me and my twin very bad and call us out our name say we are ugly cuz we look like our dad she talks about our dad to us mostly every day I can’t take it no more I love my dad I want to go live with him we’ve been talking to him for like a year now and it’s like we are so close with him we deserve to be treated better then this and she also treat my two brothers and sister better then us she would go and buy stuff for them but if we ask she a say no so we wouldn’t have nothing so I feel like if we was with our dad everything would be so better bc he would treat us right.He told us it was gonna be ok daughters y’all gonna get out of that house and come with me we’re yall get treated better and not have to do everything for grown kids.We also feel that we have a sister that is 20 with a 6 mouth old baby and my mom do everything for her and the baby which that’s crazy bc u do more for your 20 year old and her baby then she do for her us. I feel if we move with my dad me and me twin life would be so much better.Could y’all pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help us so we can move with our daddy.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.
It sounds like your parents are putting you in the middle of their issues, which isn’t fair for you and must be really stressful on you. You should have a say when it comes to which parent you’re going to live with. Only the parent who is your legal guardian, can give you permission to live elsewhere. If your parents have joint custody, there may be a way for you to move in with your dad. We’re not legal experts but we do know that custody is a big part of your options. We have heard in some cases, where the judge will listen to the child’s input on which parent they would rather live with. You may want to ask your dad about that. We also have a database of legal aid resources, that help youth for free. If you wanted us to connect you with those resources, don’t hesitate call into our safeline.

Lastly, we offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your dad about you want to live with your mom, we can help you make that call.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

Be safe, NRS

I am 16 years old and my parents were divorced when I was 4. I no longer want to live with my mother. I want to live with my dad, but he owes a lot of child support. Do I still have a chance to move with my father? He's working and has a home with an extra bed room for me. Is there still a chance I can move with him?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do, or what your next step might be from this point on.

It sounds like your mom hasn’t been supportive of you reconnecting with your dad, which must be really frustrating. You should have the right to get to know your father without her trying to manipulate you or make you choose sides. An option that could be useful would be our conference calling service. You would have to call in and then we call your mom together, to have a conference call. We can try to help you talk through some of the issues with her in a neutral way – and hopefully help her understand how you’ve been feeling. We could also talk to her about you getting to know your dad, and seeing him more.

We have heard of courts allowing the youth to choose which parent the youth wants to live with. We also have legal aid resources in our database, they help youth for free. They may know different options for you to be able to live with your dad full time, or represent you in court. If you’re interested in those services or resources, let us know and we will try our best to connect you with them.

You’re not alone in this and you do have options! Your voice is heard and is important to us. If you’d like to talk more about the options we listed, please don’t hesitate to call us. Our safeline is open 24/7.

Be safe, NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think