Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[ccsmod16]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of your story. It must be hard to go back and forth between your parents. It sounds like it hasn’t been really stable for you over the years and having kids at school talk about something that is difficult for you to relate to must be hard. We are glad that you have reached out to us and we are here to support you in what way we can.

It sounds like your parents divorcing and having to go back and forth between them has been difficult for you. We would like to support you in the best way that we can. It may help to talk to someone about what you are feeling regarding your situation. If you call us we can look up support groups and counseling centers for you to attend in order to talk about how this is effecting you. In addition, seeing if there is someone you trust you can talk to about this.

We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail please give us a call on our hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us on our website. We wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing from you.

NRS

[Unregistered]

I want to move in with my dad

Hello I am 15 years old and will be 16 this summer and my brother will be 17 this summer. We currently live with our mother in Oregon and we want to live with our dad in South Carolina. We just moved to Oregon with her last summer. And we also live with her fiancé and we don't get along with either of them and are very depressed and it is effecting our school work. We told our dad and he went to his lawyer and my mom almost made it impossible for him to get custody of us and he can't really afford it either. We even talked to her about it but she is planning on getting married soon and it will cost a lot of money and she said she doesn't want to pay child support so she said we can't move. We went to our counselor at school and she said she really couldn't do much but she would try. This summer we are going to visit family in Michigan and we are supposed to come back to Oregon right before school starts but we're not going to go back. And we want to try to have our dad get custody of us before the summer ends so we don't have to run away. What advice can you give us so our dad can get custody of us fast?

[ccsmod1]

RE: I want to move in with my dad

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you and your brother are in a tough situation and you would rather live with your dad. That sounds very difficult. It sounds like your parents have worked out a custody agreement where youa re supposed to live with your mom, and your dad already tried to change custody and failed. That is a very difficult situation. If you and your brother run away to live with your dad, your mom can call the police and report you as runaways. Your dad could get into trouble for harboring a runaway or violating a custody agreement. You and your brother could be forced to go back home to your mom in Oregon. If your dad wants to regain custody, he would have to go back to his lawyer and try to win custody in court or come to some kind of agreement with your mom. That is a very difficult situation to be in. We are sorry to hear that you and your brother are feeling depressed and having a tough time at school. That sounds very difficult and painful. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. You can call us any time to talk through your situation and talk about some options. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

[Unregistered]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

My mom has always been very minipulative, and my parents divorced when i was around 4 years old. She agreed to a set child support that my dad would pay and applied for joint custody. When they appeared in court, she then asked for WAY more than the agreed amount and applied for sole custody. im using this to prove how selfish and deceiving she can be. My dad cannot stand her one bit. There many instances (that i wont get into) that prove how mean and hurtful she is. she is physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive, and hes left the physical scars to prove it. im almost 16 years of age, and i have been sexaully active in the past, and have sent explicit pictures, (mind you, this is in the past) when she found out, she took my phone understandably, but the consequences were bad. she never in my entire life has let me leave the house unless it was with her after i come home from school. not allowed to hang out with friends, and she is very irresposible. theres so many details i could go into, like her getting drunk and on pills and losing her phone, so stealing my 500 dollar phone and using it even thought she didnt buy it. anyways, im moving in with my dad over the summer (consensually)but me and my dad plan to keep me there. im afraid that if i bring it up, she will get physcial and try to stop me from leaving. what should i do?

[ccsmod16]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

First of all thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation right now and it’s great that you’re looking for some ways to get help. It sounds like you and your mom are having some conflict at home. When that conflict turns into verbal or physical abuse, it can put you at a lot of harm. Something to think about is reporting that abuse to your local authorities or child protective services. That is a big decision to make but if you feel unsafe it is one option.

You mention that you want to move in with your dad more permanently. Depending on the custody your parents have this situation may have some legal issues. We here at NRS are not legal experts but for the most part if a minor runs away from home without the permission of their legal guardian, that legal guardian is able to file a runaway report with the police. For most city and states this means that the police would return you home if they found you they would return you home right away. In this case the situation may vary based upon which of your parents has custody. Something to think about is contacting your local police department and asking them hypothetical questions about your situation and how they would handle it specifically if you did move in with your father. Another resource that may be helpful is a legal aid service or if your father has any lawyers he’s using to help get custody. They should be able to provide more in depth information about the legal components of your situation.

It sounds like you are very nervous that your mother will get physical with you. It is important that you feel safe in your home. If you feel uncomfortable reporting any sort of abuse that is completely okay. Somethings to think about are maybe talking to a teacher or counselor at school that you trust and letting them know what’s going on, or even telling your mother you want to move out with one of them present. Another option is to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss any other options you have and get more in-depth about your situation. We wish you luck with everything!

[Unregistered]

i want to move out of my mom house and go live with my dad

Can i move out of my mom house to go live with my dad because i dont like her bf and she doesnt wanna buy me things and when i ask her if she can turn on my phone she be like go ask yo dad since u wanna live with him but she wont let me live with him, i did research and it said if your 16 u can make yo own decision whether u want to live with yo dad or mom but i want to live with my dad but she wont let me

[ccsmod15]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline – we’re glad you found us. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support. It sounds like you’re having a tough time with your mom and are hoping for a better living arrangement with your dad. It sounds like you’ve already done some great research to see what your rights are.

Is your dad willing to take you in at his house? Would he be willing to help advocate for a different custody arrangement with the court? We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but you may consider reaching out to a local legal aid service to see what your rights and options are. Sometimes local services will have intake hours by phone or in person at a local library or community center. You could always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) for a referral for family law legal aid resources in your area. If you’re not able to change your custody arrangement to live with your dad, what would have to change at home to make things better? If you’d ever like to talk through a plan for talking with your mom about what’s been bothering you, don’t hesitate to chat or call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here to support you.

Again, it sounds like you’ve been extremely resourceful in working to find a custody arrangement that works best for you. Best of luck to you!

NRS

[Unregistered]

What should I do?

I'm 18 and about to start beauty school . my mom and I used to have an amazing relationship , until her boyfriend came into the picture . He is an alcoholic and I do not approve of him. I have recently been spending more time with my dad and he just recently asked me to move in with him and my boyfriend (we live together now). Life seems like it would be a lot smoother with my dad, but I do not want to ruin my relationship with my mom. Also my school is about an hour and 15 minites away from my dads , about 45 mins from my mom , I would be there Monday -Friday 9am-3. What should I do

[ccsmod1]

RE: What should I do?

Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are having a hard time at home with your mom’s boyfriend. It is understandable that you would want to live with your dad. Since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult, which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. It sounds like you are having a hard time deciding because you want to have a good relationship with your mom, but you feel that things would go more smoothly if you lived with your dad. It sounds like the distance to school might also be challenging. That would not be an easy decision for anyone. We are not here to tell anyone what to do, and since you are 18 you have a right to make this decision for yourself and what would be best for you. If you need help talking through your options, you can always feel free to call us any time 24/7 to discuss your options. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

[Unregistered]

I just cant take it anymore my mom and step dad don't care that I want to move into my dads he doesn't care but they don't care they see him as a bad guy BC of his past. ppl change over time they have been divorced for 3 years now I have always wanted to move in with him he lives in the same town as Me but my my doesn't give AF she makes me go to a school I don't want to go to I hate it and I always get accused of stealing. if something happens they always blame me. I'm sick and tired of it my dad is more that. Capable to the care of me. it just p***** me off.

[ccsmod6]

Re:

Hello and thank you for writing to us on NRS forums. It sounds like you're going through a really tough time at home. You seem to be feeling as though your mom and stepdad don't care about about you. We're sorry you're feeling that way. You deserve to feel loved, supported, and appreciated. You seem to just want to be able to live with your dad but have a lot of push-back from your mom and stepdad. Unfortunately we are not legal experts however unless you are 18, you may not be able to leave home without permission. And in order to move in with your dad, he would need custodial/guardianship rights to have you stay with him. What may help is if your parents revisit a custody case in the family court.

Things seem to be quite overwhelming and having a space to talk things through and explore some possible options may be helpful. We are here to listen and to help. If you would like to talk more, please call our toll free crisis line or chat with us soon.

Stay strong and take care,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

What if my mom has a lawyer can a school couneselar help im only 12

[ccsmod3]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

Hello there and thanks for posting on our forum thread “Moving out of mom’s house to my father’s house.” We are not legal experts; however, our general understanding for custody situations is that they are handled through the courts. Talking to your school counselor sounds like an idea and if we know your city/state, we may be able to find other resources too. We encourage you to try out our Live Chat today starting at 1pm CST to continue discussing your situation. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

i want to go live with my dad me and my mom don't get along we argue all the time i almost get to the point i want to hit her i see my dad every summer and it amazing butnshe won't let me and it stressing me out i have to many family problem, i don't like my family, and me and my mom have more bad memories than good. i really love my dad side and i wanna live i really need help i want to get out the house now. I really need help

[ccsmod9]

Re: Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

Hello,
Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline forum today.
We’re so sorry to hear about how things are going at home. It sounds like a really tough situation when parents don’t get along and you’re not allowed to live where you’d like. The stress you’re experiencing is understandable.
We’re not legal experts here, but we’d be able to refer you to a legal aid resource to see if there are any legal options for you at this time. We’d just need you to reach out to us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or via our Live Chat right here on this site. We’re unable to share phone numbers for private businesses due to the public nature of our forum.
We wish you the best of luck in this time. If you’d like to vent about your situation to someone who will listen we’re here for you.
All the best,
NRS