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Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are wanting to move out of your mom's to stay with your dad and step mom. It's understandable that you are wanting more respect, here at NRS we truly want to help.

    If your dad has partial custody, it might be a possibility to stay with him. If you haven't already, you might reach out to him and ask if it would be possible to stay at his. He might need to go to court depending on the current custody agreement. We can always look up legal aid resources for him, if you need. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org for those resources. If he has no custody rights and you run to him, that's when it might be possible for your mom to attempt to press harboring a runaway charges against him.

    In regard to what you should bring, it would be hard for your mom to make it seem like you stole your phone, but she could shut off your line. You might avoid taking expensive things such as cars or computers, because she could say that you stole them. Generally, if you are planning on leaving home and not coming back you would want to take some clothes and your vital documents: ID, birth certificate, and social security card.

    Sounds like you are trying to plan out how to leave. If you call or chat us, we can talk through your situation with you, help brainstorm your options, and try to help you make a plan focused around your safety. Please know that we are always here for you.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 04-12-2019, 03:01 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    ok so i want to move in with my dad and my step mom because they respect me more. Im tired of living with my mom and i need to know what to do. Is there stuff that i can take like my iphone even though my mom is paying for it help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. As far as your mom goes it might be a good idea to look up assistance perhaps even asking her doctor if there is any form of help in that sense. Maybe even considering paying for medical nurse to help you or a group home with people with disabilities.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 years old. My mom is abusive in more than one way. However I can't do anything because she is disabled. She's making problems that she has caused and using them against me to make me do what she wants. Threatened to put me in jail for stuff I haven't done.i don't feel safe whatsoever. Can I leave even if I'm all she has? Or do I have to deal with it

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). If you feel like your dad is the best person to be with it might be a good idea to speak with him about the situation and inform him about what’s going on. He might be able to talk to your adoptive mom. Maybe even see you more often if that can help at all.
    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Please help

    Im adopted, when i was 5-6 years old my biological dad came into my life and so did his wife(my step mom) I love them so much. My adoptive mom can be kind, when she wants to. Every time i come out of my room to do something(eat, get a school book) we end up fighting. about dumb things. But she will say something sarcastic, but it is kind of offensive and if i kindly ask her to not say that around me she starts yelling. if i raise my voice back i have to give her my phone. I am also homeschooled so im alone every day of my life except tuesdays. Im icolate myself in my room every day and if i even try to do anything theres my mom hovering over me. She teaches me math and she doesn't even understand it so im blindly putting random answers down cause if i ask a question i have to do extra chores. My dad works in Texas and My step mom, my adoptive mom, and me live in California. He comes back every 2-3 weeks and stays for 11 days. it sucks but whatever. I ish i could just live with them but my adoptive mom has told me its never going to happen and a couple days later i was super suicidal. Im not anymore so thats one good thing. But im obviously depressed, ouldnt you be if you hated the person you are living with. I get hate is a strong word but its the right one. Btw music is my only happy place, the only thing that stops me from crying, every time she takes my phone away, she bassically takes the ounce of happiness i have. That sounds a little dramatic but its the truth.Im 14 so i only have 4 miserable years left.

    Please help me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Moving homes can be extremely difficult especially when you are moving away from those that you care about. It is awesome that you are close with your dad and you guys have a great bond. One option is you could try and talk with your parents and see if you can see your father on the weekends or come up with a visitation plan. We know that having those conversations can be difficult, at NRS we offer conference calls. Conference calling is where you call us and we call out to your parents and have a 3 way call. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and provide support to you. Another option you could try is having more phone calls and maybe even skype sessions with your father. Sometimes phone calls and skype are a good way to keep communicating with your father.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your situation more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck.
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have to move house and it’s about 45 minutes away from my dad and I don’t know how to handle it as I won’t be able to see my dad anywhere near as much as I do now and we have such a great bond.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home with your mom. You deserve to feel safe and happy at home. It also sounds like you have a really good relationship with your dad.

    An option you have is to talk to a school counselor or the police with hypothetical, anonymous questions, if you feel safe doing so. They may be able to provide you with options or information about custody that is unique to your region. Also, you mentioned not wanting to ask your mom if you could live with your dad. One option to consider is asking if you could, instead of living with him, see him or contact him more often.

    Of course, feel free to call us anytime as we are toll-free, confidential, and 24/7.
    Good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Moving from my mums to my dads
    hi im 14 turning 15 and i despreatley want to Live with my dad . My mum constantley shouting and making me do practically all the house work with little to no breaks inbetween and is conastantly leaving me stressed shes also Always going out at night leaving me with my 3 younger siblings with the Youngest at 4 years old for more than 2 hours and Expectss the house to be completely clean so im constantley stressed and i have my Mock GCSEs coming up and i never get and Space or quiet to revise leaving i get bad scores and when she finde out she scts All suprised.And she hardley lets me see by dad for long.iv discussed moving with my dad and he and my gradparets Are All for it but i know that sitting down and talking to my mother just wont work cause the only Thing she cares about is herself and money

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now with your mom - the way she speaks to you sounds extremely hurtful, and no one deserves to be hurt. The situation and your feelings are very real and very valid, please know that we are here to listen and here to help.

    You mentioned wanting to live with your dad and not knowing how to tell your mom. Sometimes people feel more prepared to talk to someone about a difficult subject after writing down their thoughts and what they would like to say. Also, we here at NRS provide conference calls, which in your case would consist of you calling us and then we would call your mom. In doing this, we would be on the phone as a support and help mediate the conversation - helping both parties better articulate their thoughts and feelings. If interested in the conference call, or to speak further about your situation please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. Best, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My parents were divorced when I was 6. I'm 11 now and I've been living with my mom for about 5 years now. I want to move in with my dad, but I'm not sure how to tell my mom. I know it sounds like I'm making a big deal out of it (which I am), but I don't want to live with the embarrassment or shame that my mom will give me if I do move in with my dad. Why I want to move out is that she constantly calls me curse words, tells me that I don't deserve anything, and that I'm annoying, lazy, selfish, dumb, etc. What I'm listing sounds stupid, I know, but I'm too mentally unstable to go through this longer than what I've already have. She doesn't let me go out with friends for sleepovers and such, and I guess that interfered with my social skills. I'm probably just making excuses for something that was already there but...Anyways, this is probably what most children already go through with their parents so the way I'm describing my "situation" is making me sound dramatic and bratty. Anyways, all I want to do is just move in with my dad without receiving shame, embarrassment, pity, etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you live with your mom but are wanting to stay with your dad. That can be a pretty tricky situation when you are still a minor. The easiest way for you to move into your dad’s place would be with your mom’s permission. You might consider talking to your mom about your desire to live with your dad and why you think it might be beneficial. If you need help having that conversation, you might consider asking a guidance counselor, therapist, or other adult that you trust to help you have a conversation. Here at NRS, we also offer conflict mediation through conference calling so that is also an option. It is also possible that if your dad and mom have joint custody, you would be able to stay with your dad even with mom objecting. However, we are not legal experts and there are so many different outcomes based on your parents’ legal arrangement that we cannot give just one distinct answer. We encourage you to reach out to a lawyer or to give us a call at 1800-786-2929 if you’d like to talk more specifically about your situation.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i want to move in with my dad but i know my mom wont let me but im 16

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    replied
    Hello There,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we understand that it can be difficult to reach out and we are so glad you did. It seems like your boyfriend is going through a very difficult time, and it is awesome that you are there to support him through this. You mentioned that his mom seems to be abusive, have you guys considered reporting the abuse? If you guys would like to report the abuse you may call the Child Help Line at: 1800-422-4453. We know that it can sometimes be nerve wrecking to make a report if you would like you can give us a call and we can help you make the report. For him to move into his dads house and for his dad to gain full time custody, they would probably have to go to court or his mother would have to give him permission to live with his dad full time. If you would like to find out more information about the legal aspects you may call Gulf Coast Legal Services at 727-443-0657, they are available Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. Also just so you both are aware Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense, what that means it that if he were to leave home without permission he would not be arrested. His parents would have the right to file a runaway report, which if he is found they would most likely just bring him back home.

    We really hope that this information will help you and your boyfriend. We wish you both the best of luck and just know that you both are not alone. If you or him have any more questions or would like to discuss more feel free to give us a call at 1800runaway, we are here 24/7. Best of Luck!

    NRS

    Leave a comment:

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