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Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a really difficult situation with your mom wanting to move in with her dad. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

    You mentioned feeling like your dad is wanting you to move by buying you things. If you haven't already, you might try to address your dad about why he is buying you things to see if he is wanting you to move in or he has an alternative motive like wanting to do nice things for you. If he has bought you things that are only at his house, you might also ask if you can take them to your mom's house so you have more to do there when you are feeling bored.

    Seems like you really care about your mom and do not want to hurt her feelings, and moving might make her lonely and might make her worry about your safety when your dad is away. Both you and your mom's feelings are valid. Maybe there can be room for compromise with you going over to your dad's more without permanently living there, or staying there only when he is there. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service meant for mediating hard conversations with youth and their parents to work towards compromises. If you are interested in that service to help talk to your mom please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need any resources or support. We are here for you.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 13
    I’ve been telling my mom for months that I wanna move to my dads house with him and my two siblings who moved from my moms to my dads
    my mom and dad are great parents but the school near my dads house is way better and he has a bunch of stuff that I love, and my moms house is boring and I’m always just sitting there doing nothing
    im so worried about hurting either of there feelings
    my mom always says that she will be so sad and lonely if I leave and that she’s always seen us living together till I’m 18 and my dad is buying a bunch of stuff for me and I feel like he’s trying to make it feel like I have to move because of money
    I find it so unfair fo me to have to tell my mom I wanna move and it’s hard to tell my dad she’s not letting me move
    my dads job doesn’t have a set schedule so he’s leaving here and there for a day/night and my mom is worried i’de be stuck here alone with my sister who’s bipolar but my brother is planning on moving out soon so he said I could come and stay at his place while he’s working

    sorry that may have been confusing but i just need someone to tell me how to tell my mom that I wanna move to my dads without hurting her feelings or how to tell my dad that I’ll move with home in a year without hurting his feelings

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in the middle of making a big decision, and that can be stressful. Reaching out in times of struggle is difficult but always a good step. You deserve to live in a home that is safe and loving.

    Because only you know your family, self, and situation better than anyone else, we cannot make this decision for you, rather we can help you examine your options moving forward. One option you have is to talk to your parents directly about how you have been feeling. During this conversation, perhaps you could propose a compromise, such as visiting your dad more often or asking your mom to sign you up for more lessons. At the National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calls – moderated discussions between the caller and their parent or guardian. These are often found to be helpful in discussing difficult situations as we make sure that the conversation is respectful and productive.

    Another option you have is to reach out to a trusted adult or relative who may be able to go over your situation and support you through this tough decision.

    Finally, always feel free to reach out to us at the National Runaway Safeline (1-800-RUNAWAY). We are toll-free, confidential, and 24/7.

    Stay strong and good luck,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I want to move with my dad

    Hey, I'm 14 and my parents have been divorced for 7 years. My dad lives in Arizona, which is very far away from where I live. I visit him often and during the holidays. I love to ride horses and I've always dreamed about owning my own. In Arizona, my step-grandma loves horses. she has owned them for many years. She is the only one in my family who actually likes horses and is passionate about them. Recently, my dad has offered me a horse if I came live with them in Arizona. I love living with my mom and we get along so well, but she never fully supports me trying to own a horse and only signs me up for lessons. I recently told her I wanted to move and she is heartbroken and claims she wants to raise me and see me grow up. She's good at raising me. She claims that my dad just wants me to move there so that he doesn't have to pay child support, and is a conman. I feel like if I moved with my dad, I'd be betraying my mom. I also met a guy that I really like in AZ and he also wants me to move. I care about my mom and her feelings. Should I do what's best for myself and my horse riding career? Or should I stay with my mom to not hurt her feelings? I feel really bad... I don't know what to do!!

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now.
    Abuse is never okay and we are sorry you are dealing with it. You always have the right to report the abuse if you wish. To make an abuse report you can call The Child Help Line at 1800-422-4453. If you are ever in immediate danger please call the police (911).
    You also mentioned wanting to runaway, we are not legal experts but do have general information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your mother does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you mention the abuse they would investigate and see if it would be safe for you to go home.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m thinking of running away my mom is abusive and threading me. Like at the mall she said she would slap me in the face

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for your message. We are here to listen and help locate resources, brainstorm options, or just as someone to talk to. Please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929 any time. We wish you all the best!
    --NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Omg im in the same situation so glad I found this.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what is going on. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legal experts but we can give general information.

    It sounds like you are currently living with mom but want to go stay with dad because you don’t have a good relationship with mom. It also sounds like you are concerned that things may become unhealthier with the mental abuse from mom. You asked how you could go live with your dad but it sounds like your mom has custody of you. It also sounds like you get to see your dad on the weekend; have you talked with him about how you are feeling? You mentioned wanting to live with a friend so that you can stay at the same school. Is that something your mom or dad could possibly agree with? We say this because if your friends parents know that an individual is a runaway (left without guardian permission) and allows you to stay with them, they could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway, which can include legal penalties. A good way to avoid this would be to get permission from your guardians to stay with your friend’s family.

    We want to support you in any way that we can. If you have more questions and would like to explore your situation further, you can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org during the hours of 4:30pm-11:30pm. We wish you the best of luck.

    ~NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i want to move out of my moms house because she’s constantly yelling at me, doesn’t trust me, and is saying how she wishes i wasn’t born. i get that people have it worse but the mental abuse i receive from her is insane. i want to move in with my dad but i also don’t want to move that far. i have the option to move into my friends house that’s closer so i can continue going to the same school then i would see my dad on weekends. i’m not sure how if i need to go to court for another custody battle because i’m almost 16

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are wanting to move out of your mom's to stay with your dad and step mom. It's understandable that you are wanting more respect, here at NRS we truly want to help.

    If your dad has partial custody, it might be a possibility to stay with him. If you haven't already, you might reach out to him and ask if it would be possible to stay at his. He might need to go to court depending on the current custody agreement. We can always look up legal aid resources for him, if you need. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org for those resources. If he has no custody rights and you run to him, that's when it might be possible for your mom to attempt to press harboring a runaway charges against him.

    In regard to what you should bring, it would be hard for your mom to make it seem like you stole your phone, but she could shut off your line. You might avoid taking expensive things such as cars or computers, because she could say that you stole them. Generally, if you are planning on leaving home and not coming back you would want to take some clothes and your vital documents: ID, birth certificate, and social security card.

    Sounds like you are trying to plan out how to leave. If you call or chat us, we can talk through your situation with you, help brainstorm your options, and try to help you make a plan focused around your safety. Please know that we are always here for you.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 04-12-2019, 04:01 PM.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    ok so i want to move in with my dad and my step mom because they respect me more. Im tired of living with my mom and i need to know what to do. Is there stuff that i can take like my iphone even though my mom is paying for it help me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. As far as your mom goes it might be a good idea to look up assistance perhaps even asking her doctor if there is any form of help in that sense. Maybe even considering paying for medical nurse to help you or a group home with people with disabilities.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I'm 18 years old. My mom is abusive in more than one way. However I can't do anything because she is disabled. She's making problems that she has caused and using them against me to make me do what she wants. Threatened to put me in jail for stuff I haven't done.i don't feel safe whatsoever. Can I leave even if I'm all she has? Or do I have to deal with it

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). If you feel like your dad is the best person to be with it might be a good idea to speak with him about the situation and inform him about what’s going on. He might be able to talk to your adoptive mom. Maybe even see you more often if that can help at all.
    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care, NRS
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