Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[Unregistered]

I neeeeed to get out of my moms house NOW!!

Hello, I'm 15 turning 16 in a month. My Mame is Jaidin and I'm from Texas. Yesterday my mom and I got into a fist fight where she started swinging at me and I pushed her so I wasn't getting hit any more. My mom called the cops and they helped settle the issue but I'm too scared to stay at my house... I want to go to my dads. Also this isn't the first fight I've gotten into with her. Please help because I have almost no way to communicate with my dad now and he even asked her to sign away her rights to him causing me to be beat up by my mother. I just need to get out of here now. I feel scared just to hug my mom because I'm afraid she's going to slap/punch me or something. Please help...

[ccsmod9]

RE: I neeeeed to get out of my moms house NOW!!

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us. Sorry to hear about what is going on with your mom. You do not deserve to be treated like that. One thing you can do is file an abuse report. For confidential and anonymous information about reporting you can contact ChildHelp USA at 1-800-422-4453. On top of that you can also ask your father if he could possibly file for custody over you. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. You can always contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.
NRS

[Unregistered]

thanks for replying

Thank you so much for the reply... I have a question, what would my dad have to do to file for custody over me?

[ccsmod0]

re: I neeeeed to get out of my moms house NOW!!

Hi there,

You're asking a good question. Usually the first step is for your dad to contact a lawyer so that the lawyer can talk through with your dad his potential rights and they way to file for custody. We have a database here of resources for lawyers that might be free.

You also mentioned in your first post that you felt like you needed out. One place that might be helpful for you is www.nationalsafeplace.org. If you check out that website and click on your state in the upper right corner you can see if there is a safe place for you to go for a couple days while things calm down with your mom.

We hope that this is a helpful start for you. If you'd like us to look up that lawyer or look up some places where you might be able to to stay, please call or chat with us. You can call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time.

We look forward to your call or chat.

Good luck to you through this.

NRS

[Unregistered]

i have one more question

You said that discuss his rights... My dad hasn't had any rights to me since I was 2-3 years old... Would that ,matter at all or since he's my biological father, he can still file for custody?

[ccsmod0]

re: i have one more question

Hi,

We're not legal experts here, but our understanding is that even though your dad doesn't have legal guardianship of you, he still has the right to file for custody. There is no guarantee that a court would grant custody to your dad, but it certainly is an option to explore. It's great that you're asking questions and working to make sure that you have a clear picture about what your next steps are. If you'd like to talk more about anything please call or chat with us.

Take care and good luck!

NRS

[Manny]

Momma

What to do when your mom doesn't love you. What to do when she has a new bf and divorce your dad . She only thinks about herself not how it wil affect others. I cant do nothing about it shes a grown woman she says. To not worry about adult problems. But her problems r going on in the house where am at. One day she kicks out my sister another she kicks out my dad then me manny im 16 right now im staying with my friend right now i have like 4 months staying with him. Cause i had moved out from my moms house cuz she brought in her bf and i have a bad feeling about him. So now im kinda tired of living with my friend im trying to move in with my dad he loves me he shows it. My mom on the other had is out of it her boyfriend puts things into her head and she playing along he makes me look bad . My sister dad and i know it he makes us all look bad . But it happened already. Right now i just want to move in with dad. I called my mom she didn't answer. I texted her telling her if ahe would speak to my dad she replied. He doesn't answer me. I know thats a lie. So i replied to her ok can i atleast go pick up my close. I texted her saying that veriouse times she finally replyed saying il let you know when im home . I asked her what time is that . She replied and said il let you know when im home. I asked her can it b today please . She called me **********ing and yelling about when i went to live with my friend i should have taken all . Now she told me shell have my clothes ready to pick up. I wanted to go get all my stuff . Because im planning to move in with my dad . Now i just have to wait to go pick up my clothes. But point here is what to do when momma dont love you nomore . Gone - Los Angeles

Ca. H

[ccsmod0]

re: Momma

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out today and sharing your story here with us. It sounds like you’re going through so much with your mom right now. It has to be so frustrating to feel like your mom has chosen her boyfriend over you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. It sounds like you’re working on putting together a plan so that you are in a safe place where you are valued and celebrated as a person. We’re glad to hear that your dad supports you and is able to give you the attention and guidance that you deserve. So let’s see how we can help you out.

When we feel really overwhelmed here it is important to reach out to as many people around us to make sure that we are demanding the support that we deserve. If you’re feeling that your mom doesn’t care for you, it can be incredibly important to reach out to people who care about you so that you can get some support from them. No one can replace your mom, but there are a lot of people around you that can care for you and get you what you are looking for.

We may also be able to help you out with our message service or our conference call service. If you want you can call us at the contact information below and we can take a message from you and deliver it by phone to your mom. We can also call your mom with you on the line and we can have a three way conversation. That way you are able to say what you need from her is a safe way. We can also look up community organizations or resources that can offer you further support through this.

We hope that this is a helpful start for you. If you’d like to talk more about anything at all please reach out to us through phone or chat. That contact info is below.

We look forward to your call or chat.

Best of luck to you,

NRS

[Emmalue22]

Custody scenario

Im 16 and currently live with my mom.I used to live with my dad until the middle of freshman year. Then we got in a argument and i said i want to move with my mom so he let me i thought it would be great!Think again.My stepdad has 4 of his own not including my half brother.Two of the boys I was sexually assaulted by.Since ive been there i went to two mental hospitals three times!Im always taking care of the little boys and cooking and cleaning.My stepdad also gangs up on me with his older sons.He has thrown a glass at me.He even sent me to jail for unruly child when my mom was away.I hate it there!I just want to be with my dad again.Ive tried talking to my mom but she refuses to listen or let me.My dad is already getting paperwork but its gonna take months for me to be able to go to court.I just need help because if i dont get out of there im gonna be a mess!

[ccsmod14]

Re: Custody scenario

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been really tough lately for you. We’re glad that you found our bulletin board and shared your story, we’re here to help.

So you shared with us that your step-dads sons have sexually assaulted you in the past. You did not deserve this to happen and we are sorry that it has. You deserve to feel safe. What happened is not your fault, and it is your right to report this if you feel that is a step you want to take. If you would like, you could call us here at 1800runaway and we could make a report either with you or on your behalf, or you could call Child Help USA at (800) 422 4453.

It sounds like your dad offers you a lot of support and you really miss living with him. It is understandable why you would feel this way. It sounds like your mom’s house is not a safe place to be, and your mom has not been hearing you when you try to explain what’s been going on. It is natural to be in a place where you feel more support.

We’re not here to tell you what to do, because only you know what’s best for you. We’re here to help keep you safe in what you decide. It sounds like your dad is working on getting custody back which is good to hear. Unfortunately we are not legal experts here, so we cannot say what would speed up this process. It sounds like you have a long term plan set up with your dad, but you are in need of a plan for the meantime. Is it an option to have your dad talk to your mom on your behalf? Or another option might be to talk in a family counseling setting, so that you have an unbiased third party present.

We’re here to talk through options further. You can call us any time at 1800runaway (786 2929), or chat with us during evening hours. We’re here to support you during this difficult time in any way that we can. Please do not hesitate to call or chat again.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

[Bridget Haralson]

How can I live with my mom instead of my dad, and quickly?!?!

Hi I just turned 16 on the first and I want to live with my mom instead of my dad. I have lived with my dad for the last 8 or 9 years and I wanted out for a while but I couldn't because I wasn't the right age, but my mom is on disability and doesn't have the money for a lawyer and I really want to live with her, and I can't stand to be with my dad in full custody anymore. Please help me. How could I live with my mom instead of my dad?

[ccsmod8]

RE: How can I live with my mom instead of my dad, and quickly?!?!

Hello there -

Thank you for taking the time to reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and write to us about what has been going on with you. From your email it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now at home living with your father. Seems to be very overwhelmed since it’s been going on since you have thought about going to live with your mother.

It seems like you have been looking around for some answers to your questions about moving out when your 16 to live with your mother. Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. Since you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states), what generally happens; your parents or legal guardian (your father) would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Another thing to think about it is that if your mother doesn’t have custody over you or don’t share custody with your father, then she might be get in trouble with the law herself. If it’s not in the agreement that she’s even allowed to see you, according to the judge’s discretion, your father could press charges against her and take her to court.

Your father may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your mother), but without getting an official document from the court he would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that he can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again while 16 years old. If you were to leave home and live with your mother, think about what your father might do in that situation. Either give you permission or file a runaway report.

If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

[Lia]

Grandparents kicking me out?

I currently live with my grandparents and my dad. I used to live with my mom but a few years ago, she got really drunk and got the cops called on her. I've had to live with my dad and my grandparents ever since. My dad has custody now. I really hate it here. I've been here for 3 years, the entire time I've been missing my mom and wanting to be there. My grandparents keep threatening to kick me out, and have very aggressive tendencies when they are angry. My grandma is bipolar and they both have anger issues which they should be on medicine for, but usually aren't. My dad just brushes it off though! And he knows how much I hate it here, but won't let me back with my mom because her boyfriend is schizophrenic. The thing is, he had never done anything to me, while my grandparents have been both aggressive physically and verbally abuse me. My grandparents are kicking me out of the house (they told me I had three weeks to get out) and I was planning on going to my moms, but I do not want to cause any problems for her legally. Do I need his permission to leave? He'll never let me go... Please help me. I don't know what to do. My older sister is at my moms right now and is willing to help me pack and leave. She really doesn't think it's safe for me here.

[ccsmod11]

RE: Grandparents kicking me out?

Hello,

This sounds like you have a lot you are trying to deal with! It seems like you have really thought about the situation, though, which is a great thing to do. We’re glad you reached out to us! We know that custody issues can be difficult, especially when abuse is involved. Remember that you do not deserve to be treated poorly and that you have options.

This can be a confusing issue to deal with, but here are some of your options:

-You can always call Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453) and make a physical abuse report. Additionally, because your dad is aware of the abuse from your grandparents, you can also make a neglect report.

-It’s important to note that your grandparents or father may file a runaway report if you leave, meaning the police would be required to take you home if they pick you up. However, if you did file an abuse or neglect report, there is a possibility that they would not take you back, and there may be leeway to live with your mother. Moreover, if a runaway report is made, whoever you decide to stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway

-You can also call Child Help USA and ask them for some advice on the situation. If you do not provide any identifying information, then they would not be able to file a report.

-It sounds like some legal resources might be helpful for you in order to sift through the custody situation. If you call in we have a database and would be happy to help you find those resources!

-It also seems like you have some solid support from your sister. Perhaps you could see if your sister or another trusted family member would be willing to talk to your dad about what is going on.

-Lastly, if you would like a shelter to stay at, you can visit www.homelessshelterdirectory.org. However, if you are a minor, parental consent will be required for you to stay at a shelter. In most states you are considered an adult at age 18.

Again, this certainly seems like a tricky situation to navigate, but there are always options. If you would like to talk things over in more detail, we encourage you to call us as 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat us at 1800RUNAWAY.org.

Best of luck!
NRS

[Unregistered]

Switching child custody?

So at the moment I am living with my father and my fathers girlfriend and my brother in Colorado while my mom lives in Oregon. I am 15 and my brother is almost 14. We both want to live with our mother and she want us too for a number of reasons. My father is unfair goes to work from about 7am to 7pm then goes to bars until about 2am or even later with my stepmother. So guess who is doing all the cooking and cleaning as if there was ever any food in the house. My dads girlfriend is always telling and calling me a ********** and a spoiled brat. My mother would happily pay for us to come except my father refuses to sign over custody to her which would make it illegal for us to go. I want to live with my mom but she can't come to Colorado or she will get arrested for missing too much court because she was in a different state. What should I do? Can my grandmother come to Colorado and go to court with me to get custody? Please help. This has been going on for almost six years Now and I will no longer put up with this.