Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[Guest]

Hi im eleven lately ive been getting locked down into the basement by my mom and getting hit by my mom i want to live with my dad becaseue he is not a jehovahs witness and i dont have to pretend to be somthing im not but the thing is with leaving my mom is that its going to get emotinal even though she abuses me deep down she is somthimes a nice woman but still i cant live with her the way she treats me my parents been divorced, But my dad always had my back. And today i textted him about my issues with abuse from my mom. He said he can do anything for me and i replied i wanna move out from my moms house. And i thought it through and i am firm with my choice but i know im going to be depressed

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and wanting to live with your dad. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I have the same problem. I wanna move out of my moms house, to live with my dad.

My mom doesn't treat me right no more!! She's always bringing guys to the house or going out late at night, drunk nd passes out anywhere. And whenever she doesn't go out and drink she stays home and drinks herself the second she gets home. Which is round 6 till 12 and she yells at me and she some times puts her hands on me or she will get in my face, or she'll jus argu with me and I've felt with this ever since I was 8 years old. And my dad he lives 1hr away from me and he said I can live with him, until they get a bigger house . Because right now they have a 1 bedroom house nd that's y I can't go over their all the time cause my mom has a court order saying I can't be their when my stepsister are their,cause we would be sharing the same room I guess. But that's why he said until then jus wait . And I rlly don't know if I can wait cause I'm almost at my breaking point!! DSS has come to the house 2 times and around 20 or 30 domestic reports have been filed at my moms house . So my dad says when the judge sees that its ganna be a good factor and show him that his place is more stable for me . I have 2 sisters and 1 brother at my moms house , and my uncle ,me ,my mom,mycat ,nd my dog so its rlly packed. And my mom makes me do so much while she goes out at night with anyone or does anything at all . I have to take the man of the house roll cause my uncle doesn't do anything here he is always gone . I have to cook dinner nd give the kids baths nd clean after them nd get the clothes done and everything . Not saying im not supposed to do nothing but I shouldn't have to do all that while she gets drunk and I have to do the man of the house job and also her job as a parent/mother . The social worker said that even tho she can drink . Cause drinking isn't illegal. But she is still a mom to us nd shouldn't let drinking take over her . At the end of the day she is a mother and should be one no matter what. Cause I'm suffering trying to help . I currently have a job. And have had it since the end of 2020 and still working. I jjs want to live with my dad because for the last couple years since I was 8 yes old and now I'm 16 I've suffered and been thru so much pain with her drinking and her BF drinking and them fighting . My dad don't really drink he dont like it and I told him achohal has messed up my life not physically but mentally, and I jus can't take it nomore .!!!! DSScsme like 1month ago I think to my house because my mom got so drunk that she got in a fight with my grandma and scratched her face nd scratched her chest and everything and pullers out her hair and punched me in my chest and had tk get X-rays but nothing broke or nothing but it was a bigg bruise and couldn't lift my arms!! I jjs want to get out of her . How can I move out of my moms house ????

[ccsmod3]

Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

It sounds like things at home have been pretty difficult, and we're sorry to hear that. Physical abuse is not okay, and you don't deserve that sort of treatment. While it's probably incredibly frustrated that your interactions with DSS haven't seemed to changed much, it's important to continue documenting any abuse that's happening and filing abuse reports each time. This might seem like a lot, but if DSS is trying to put other measures in place to ensure your wellbeing and those measures aren't working (and causing you to continue being hurt), it's important for them to know that. Keeping record of those incidences can be helpful as well, like hanging onto the doctor's report showing that you went to the hospital and/or taking photos of your bruises, etc. If filing an abuse report on your own becomes too much for you, you can also reach out to a safe person at school (like a teacher or counselor), let them know what's going on, and they can file a report for you. We can also work with you here at NRS to get a report filed as well.

Beyond that, there aren't a whole lot of ways that you can legally move out of your mom's house until you're 18. Your dad might be able to go back to court now to try and get things in motion to have you move in with him since there is ongoing abuse in your home, and that's likely a good place to start. Similarly, if DSS gets involved again, try and make sure they're aware that staying with dad is an option and see if they can help facilitate that. This might be something they can help with.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on at home or continue to explore your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I'm an 11-year-old girl. My parents are divorced. I want to move in with my dad because my mom puts too much stress on me. Like clean your room, watch your sister, my sister pinches me and scratches me my mom does nothing about it if she does it's either screaming or yelling at me I hate taking the blame for everything. my mom recently got a new bf, believe me, her bf is so awesome but I need my Dad. My dad is so much freer, honestly, my dad lives with his GF I don't really care. Honestly, I would be happy if he sent me away to his sister's house in Iowa because her daughter is like me. I have always been the outcast in the family. My mom is kinda abusive???? She has choked me while dragging me and bit my leg, over homework!!!! smacked my mouth when I'm bad when I was little she scratched my face a bit over a hairbrush. I've always wanted to live with my dad. My mom when she's mad at me she threatens to kill herself or she tells me she wishes I go live with my dad. I don't want her to hurt herself I just wanna leave.... But I don't wanna hurt her feelings how do I tell her???? Help me. I just wanna leave

[ccsmod15]

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the NRS. It seems like you have been going through a very stressful time at home. You do not deserve to be treated like that by your mother or your sister. It is totally understandable that you would want to leave home to go live with your dad to avoid that kind of abuse. It is also not fair for your mom to say those kinds of things to you when she gets angry. That sounds like it puts a lot of stress on you that you do not deserve. We are not legal experts here at the NRS, but it seems like you and your dad would need to discuss a way for him to become your legal guardian in order for you to stay there permanently. An option would be to reach out to child protective services in your area, or even an abuse hotline for kids. Childhelp may be able to answer some of your questions on how to further navigate your situation, there number is 1-800-422-4453. If you would like to further discuss more options with us please do not to hesitate to call our 24/7 confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. We wish you the best of luck, and hope you stay safe!

[Guest]

how am i able to move in with my dad, my parents havent been dating since i was a month old my mom and me do not get along she expresses all the time her dislikeing for me i cant handle watching her tell my brothers and sister how awesome they are on the other hand me and my dad get along awsome i see him for only about 5-10 minutes twice a week he gives me a ride home from practice my mom always wants me back right after. i just need to know where to start who to contact, and how to do it

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

2 years ago my father lost custody of me, my mother is very verbally and emotionally abusive with drinking background. my mom refuses mediation and my dad cant afford court. im 15 how can i get more time with my father.

[ccsmod10]

We're sorry to hear you've been on the receiving end of verbal/emotional abuse; it makes sense to be feeling anger or sadness or stress. It sounds like your mom hasn't been flexible about their arrangement and your dad isn't able to litigate.

It might be worthwhile to report abuse if you believe your mother's drinking and emotionally abusive behavior is serious. You can do so by contacting us through a live chat or phone call, talking with a teacher or school social worker, or by looking up Child Protective Services abuse reporting for your state and calling yourself. It doesn't guarantee an investigation, but it might initiate a wellness check to help your mother realize how her behavior is affecting you.

If you want to see your dad more without legal permission, we can talk more about options. They will likely be affected by how far you are from him, and your means of transportation. To give us more details and talk through your situation more thoroughly, you can live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24/7 and here to help as best we can.

We also offer a conference calling service where we can facilitate a productive conversation between you and either/both of your parents, if that would be helpful. We would listen to both sides and try to conduct a conversation and agreement(s) that suit everyone's needs.

Lastly, it sounds like you have probably already tried, but expressing to your mom how not getting to see your dad makes you feel (lonely, sad, frustrated, etc.) and asking her to consider things from your perspective might be helpful in getting her to change her mind.

[Guest]

I'm 16 years old and want to move in with my stepdad.
I used to idolize my mom. She was my best friend we did everything together. That all changed in October 2020 when my stepdad discovered she cheated on him. He tried to make things work with her, but she chose the other guy over him in the end. The guy she chose was an aggressive alcoholic with whom I've gotten into many scary encounters. I kept quiet and stayed on her side even after she blatantly ignored a suicide attempt of mine but then, on October 2021, Halloween night, my best friend killed herself, leaving me alone. I went off the rails after this. I got into drugs and started skipping school, failing all my classes while dealing with my mentally abusive mom and her physically abusive bf. Skip to months later, she finally cuts this abusive guy off, and he starts stalking us. He even goes as far as breaking into our house and walking in on my mom while she's showering. My mom has only gotten really physical with me once, and it was right after I got into a car crash, so CPS couldn't do anything about it because they couldn't tell which marks were from my accident and which were from her. My stepdad has always been my saving grace, my knight in shining armor, and our relationship has only strengthened since he learned about my mom. My bio dad and I have a pretty good relationship too, but he lives out of state, and I can't risk leaving all my friends behind. I'm going to see him in a few days, and that's when ill contact my stepdad about wanting to move in with him. I already got the ok from my mom, but she took all forms of communication with him away, so I have to find another way to ask him, and that's where my bio dad comes in. I'm bringing all my legal papers, and my girlfriend back home will help me get a job. My mom is trying to homeschool me, but if I get out of her house, then I can do a running start and go to college next year. I will have to leave all my pets behind, and I'm scared of how mad she'll be at me. I also don't want to burden my stepdad with having to pay for a bed for me. Am I making the right choice?

[ccsmod15]

We can't tell you if it is the right choice or not, but we are here to listen to you. It sounds like it's been a real struggle living with your mom since she left your stepdad. You don't deserve to be abused in any manner by anyone. You are aligning yourself to get to where you want to go. You lost your best friend and you feel alone and you attempted to kill yourself as well. You've been through a lot and you seem strong and determined. You are thinking about your future and going to college, getting a job, you are thinking about your friends and staying close to them and you are coming up with a plan that feels good to you but also considers other people's feelings and situations. It also sounds like you already have the paperwork for the change of custody all lined up. We are here 24/7 if you need anything such as legal referrals or even just to run through your plan. Stay safe.

[Guest]

Hi I’m 15 and I want to move out of my momsto my dad the reason why she has a boyfriend named cory and on multiple occasions has beat me and my mom won’t do a thing he call me slurs each day and I just need to leave I want to go to my farthers he’s ten times Nicer then my mom

[ccsmod10]

We're sorry to hear that your mom's boyfriend has been mistreating you, and that your mom has been allowing it. That's not how you deserve to be treated, and you deserve to feel safe and secure in your own home. We're thankful you are looking out for yourself and contacted us for help.

It may be worthwhile to report the beating(s) that you've experienced. This might lead to people investigating what's going on at home, which could potentially lead to a change in where you live. You could do this by talking about what you've experience with a teacher or counselor at school that you like, or by contacting us at 1800runway.com for live chat us calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Custody can be complicated, and unfortunately, what you want and where you feel safest is often just one of many pieces of information they use to decide who receives custody. It can feel frustrating, saddening, and disempowering. It's also possible your dad knows how you feel and wants to help, but making changes to custody can be very expensive, and sometimes parents simply don't have the money to make it happen, even when they want to.

Continuing to talk with people that you trust (like you've done with us) is a good first step toward either making a change in your situation, or changing how you feel. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us again if you'd like to talk more. Your feelings matter, and you don't have to go through this alone.