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  • I want to move out of my moms house and live with my dad.

    I am 16, and my parents have been divorced for 2-3 years. My mom doesn’t treat me or my younger brother fairly and treats the youngest like he is the favorite. I am expected to do everything, like clean the house, make dinner every night, get my brothers ready for school, help

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, it sounds as if you are dealing with something pretty difficult. No one should ever feel as if they are not being treated fairly at home; it must be taxing completing all of those chores around the house every day. We are not legal experts here at NRS, however we can provide you with some basic information about your situation.

      If your mother is your primary guardian, you would require their permission to live elsewhere. Without this permission, you could be considered a runaway if you choose to leave home. This would be considered a status offence that might result in you getting picked up by the police and taken back home. There is also the possibility of anyone who provided residency while you were a runaway being charged with harboring a runaway.

      Thank you again for reaching out. You can always contact us via our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 which is available 24/7. We can provide support, connect you to legal resources, and/or help you form an action plan for how you would like to deal with your situation.

  • I am 13 almost 14 and my mother doesn’t like me. She definitely favors my sister because I remind her of my dad. My mom and dad broke up when I was 8 and it’s never been the same. I just need help I can’t stand this much longer. I’ve told my mom I want to move in with my dad but she said no. Can I please have help.

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    • So my dad has been more around than before and ever since I had a blast there.there is overall more food and activities to do there. at my mom's house all I have is tv to watch and my mother's does drugs bringing people here LIKE ONE TIME GETTING MY BIKE STOLEN FROM A GUY SHE brought.i don't feel as happy or safe as I do at my dad's plus everything I have is from my dad because when I ask for a simple thing she says ask him but no 300 child support money goes for them not me and my sisters.the only problem is my dad works for two weeks at a oil place or something making him home only for a week or weekend at a time,which idk how to make it were he trusts me alone for that long but I hope someday I will live there.

      Comment


      • ccsmod4
        ccsmod4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you would like to live with your father instead of your mother because of some ongoing issues one being substance abuse and another having outside people in the house.
        We understand the need for feeling secure and safe.

        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • I need out of my house my mom is mentally messing me up, she's constantly disrespectful to me and treats me like I'm incapable of everything. I need a break but she never lets me leave I'm almost 17 and can't do anything. Idk what to do, I can't run away but idk if my mom's the best option, neither is my aunt. I'm not the only one who sees or noticed how he treats me and I hate being at home.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 11-08-2019, 02:31 AM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod4
        ccsmod4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are trying to decide what to do about leaving home or staying.
        We can understand being frustrated by a situation it’s good that you are taking your time with making a decision.
        One thing you might consider during this difficult time is to make a check list to see if you have done all that you can to resolve whatever conflict you are having with your father. Next is to examine how you have attempted to do this. Consider what the best form of communication is to get across your feelings of emotion. You mentioned that others notice his behavior towards you. Sometimes it helps to seek the support of others.
        It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care.

        We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that it would be nice to have a listening ear.
        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

        We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail then perhaps we can explore some options that might help to improve the situation.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        You did a very good thing reaching out to NRS.

        Take care,
        NRS

    • Hi,
      I'm fifteen and I feel I want to move in with my father. My parents have been divorced for years, since I was about six years old. My mother remarried a few years ago, and I like my stepfather, but they both favor my younger brother, who is eleven. I feel out of place often because my brother is my stepfather's son, and my mother sees him as her little angel. He's eleven years old, and doesn't know how to bathe, do any chores, or use his manners properly, and my mother takes no attempts to teach him and simply expects me to baby him and come to his every beck and call. He is picky and impudent, and my mother ignores his brutishness— just recently, he received a detention for writing inappropriate language all over a school assignment, and my mother blamed the faculty for blowing it out of proportion, and didn't punish my brother at all.

      I'm the only one in the household who does the chores as well— I take care of the dogs, clean the dishes (without a dishwasher), sweep, mop, dust, vacuum, do the laundry, take out the trash, etc, and care for my brother AND my mother. Even despite, my mother, who's unemployed, calls me lazy and ungrateful, and she refuses to uncage our pets or take them out to potty until I get home, and blames it on them when they are rowdy when let out. She constantly says how disappointed she is in me, and how her parenting skills are stained by my existence. She asks me why I'm not as intelligent or resourceful as my older sister, and why I want to be so difficult — why I can't be a nurse, like my sister, or dream to be something practical, like my brother, who wants to be a rocket scientist. She blames me for all of her problems, and degrades everything about me — from my activities to my goals, and says I'm going to be living in her basement my entire life, or leaching off one of my siblings. She makes fun of my dreams in front of my family, and victim blames me when I begin to cry. She used to spend hours telling me that I'm so much like my father, bound to disappoint. And later, when I'm in bed, she'll come in and ask me why I'm upset, and force me to hug her. She'd say, "You know I love you, right?" I've never heard that woman apologize to me my entire life.

      My mother has anxiety, so I don't blame her as much for this, but I've never been able to do as much as my friends do. I'm not allowed to go out, and when I am able to, she makes me text her everytime the location changes, and if I forget once, she takes away everything I have and grounds me for months. She says she trusts me, but doesn't believe me when I tell her the truth, and she constantly monitors my devices — I'm not allowed to have any social media whatsoever. She only just allowed me to have Facebook within the last few months. I'm tired of being treated like an infant.

      Honestly, I want to move in with my dad, but I'm almost positive I can't. He's well known for being a "free spirit", and likes to travel all over the country, making music and exploring new cities. It's exactly what I've always wanted, but he and his wife don't have a ton of money. I've never been one to care about money, but I know that it provides. I want to finish highschool and get my diploma, however, I don't feel that I would be able to do that successfully. I feel that they stay in one place long enough to let me go to a highschool for a few months, which I don't mind, as I've moved a lot as a child. I feel a lot more myself with him, especially as a bisexual teen, as I don't feel my mother would be very open to the idea of me enjoying the presence of females. My father doesn't really care, and her understands my longing for art, as it's my passion. I constantly feel ostracized in my household for it, feel that it's being crushed daily by them. I think I want to move in with him, and I think he'd be okay with it as long as it's something I truly wanted, but I also am worried that the family dynamic would fall apart without me, as I do all of the household chores. I'm also afraid my pets would be treated horribly and never taken care of. My stepdad loves them to bits, but he works full time, and usually doesn't get home until late. My brother's incapable of doing anything, and my sister works night shifts, so she has to sleep during the day. My mother leaches off of my stepdad's hard earned money, and doesn't let him purchase things he wants so she can afford to buy herself nice things and go yard saleing on weekends. I love my mother, I do, but I don't feel like I will thrive while I'm with her. However, the logical answer is to deal with it for three more years, and focus on my studies so I can go to a good school and get away from her. However, I think no matter where I go, she will follow me, physically or mentally.

      My father is also, as I mentioned a "free spirit", a weed smoker, and I don't want to smell like that or get involved in that. He uses it for medical purposes, but I have a certain image of myself I'd like to maintain. I think another reason I would want to move in with him is because I can't stand this small town with its small town ideas, and I want to travel and meet new people and eat strange food and see foreign places. I see something bigger for me, and I don't think staying here will motivate me to reach it.

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,

        We’re sorry that you feel out of place in your own home. You deserve to feel like an equal member of the family, and it’s not right that a parent favors one child over another.

        Unfortunately, for some parents who really want a new relationship to work, they can unfairly favor any children that come with that new relationship. Your mother’s extra attention to your stepbrother and lack of punishment may be a sign of that. That doesn’t necessarily mean she does not love you, but it can definitely make you feel overlooked and unappreciated.

        You absolutely deserve to be supported as you explore the talents and interests you have, and even learn more about ones that haven’t showed up yet. If you have a passion for something, it’s important that you make it known and be able to discuss it. In addition, no family dynamic should ever be dependent on one person, only enhanced. Keeping the family dynamic together is not your responsibility.

        If you’d like to talk about how you could explore the option of living with your father or at least spend more time with him to perhaps nurture your creative talents, please give us a call. We can talk about that or anything else you’d like. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We’re here to listen and here to help.

        And we wish you the best!
        -NRS

    • I want to move out of my moms to my dads

      Im 13 years old and my mom yells at me all the time sometimes I run out and go to my uncles. She has a boyfriend that isnt nice at all. Hes here all the time. I dotn know how im going to tell mom that i want to move out i dont want to cause drama please give me adivice.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom why you want to go live with your dad. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.
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