Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

[Guest]

hey so my boyfriend, 16, is very unhappy living with his mom, she lives in a bad part of town and is said to be abusive. I'm trying to get him to move into jis dads for full time custody. we live in Florida and I was wondering if he has some sort of say in doing so as well as what the process of it might be like.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we understand that it can be difficult to reach out and we are so glad you did. It seems like your boyfriend is going through a very difficult time, and it is awesome that you are there to support him through this. You mentioned that his mom seems to be abusive, have you guys considered reporting the abuse? If you guys would like to report the abuse you may call the Child Help Line at: 1800-422-4453. We know that it can sometimes be nerve wrecking to make a report if you would like you can give us a call and we can help you make the report. For him to move into his dads house and for his dad to gain full time custody, they would probably have to go to court or his mother would have to give him permission to live with his dad full time. If you would like to find out more information about the legal aspects you may call Gulf Coast Legal Services at 727-443-0657, they are available Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. Also just so you both are aware Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense, what that means it that if he were to leave home without permission he would not be arrested. His parents would have the right to file a runaway report, which if he is found they would most likely just bring him back home.

We really hope that this information will help you and your boyfriend. We wish you both the best of luck and just know that you both are not alone. If you or him have any more questions or would like to discuss more feel free to give us a call at 1800runaway, we are here 24/7. Best of Luck!

NRS

[Guest]

i want to move in with my dad but i know my mom wont let me but im 16

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you live with your mom but are wanting to stay with your dad. That can be a pretty tricky situation when you are still a minor. The easiest way for you to move into your dad’s place would be with your mom’s permission. You might consider talking to your mom about your desire to live with your dad and why you think it might be beneficial. If you need help having that conversation, you might consider asking a guidance counselor, therapist, or other adult that you trust to help you have a conversation. Here at NRS, we also offer conflict mediation through conference calling so that is also an option. It is also possible that if your dad and mom have joint custody, you would be able to stay with your dad even with mom objecting. However, we are not legal experts and there are so many different outcomes based on your parents’ legal arrangement that we cannot give just one distinct answer. We encourage you to reach out to a lawyer or to give us a call at 1800-786-2929 if you’d like to talk more specifically about your situation.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My parents were divorced when I was 6. I'm 11 now and I've been living with my mom for about 5 years now. I want to move in with my dad, but I'm not sure how to tell my mom. I know it sounds like I'm making a big deal out of it (which I am), but I don't want to live with the embarrassment or shame that my mom will give me if I do move in with my dad. Why I want to move out is that she constantly calls me curse words, tells me that I don't deserve anything, and that I'm annoying, lazy, selfish, dumb, etc. What I'm listing sounds stupid, I know, but I'm too mentally unstable to go through this longer than what I've already have. She doesn't let me go out with friends for sleepovers and such, and I guess that interfered with my social skills. I'm probably just making excuses for something that was already there but...Anyways, this is probably what most children already go through with their parents so the way I'm describing my "situation" is making me sound dramatic and bratty. Anyways, all I want to do is just move in with my dad without receiving shame, embarrassment, pity, etc.

[ccsmod11]

Hi, and thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now with your mom - the way she speaks to you sounds extremely hurtful, and no one deserves to be hurt. The situation and your feelings are very real and very valid, please know that we are here to listen and here to help.

You mentioned wanting to live with your dad and not knowing how to tell your mom. Sometimes people feel more prepared to talk to someone about a difficult subject after writing down their thoughts and what they would like to say. Also, we here at NRS provide conference calls, which in your case would consist of you calling us and then we would call your mom. In doing this, we would be on the phone as a support and help mediate the conversation - helping both parties better articulate their thoughts and feelings. If interested in the conference call, or to speak further about your situation please call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. Best, NRS

[Guest]

Moving from my mums to my dads
hi im 14 turning 15 and i despreatley want to Live with my dad . My mum constantley shouting and making me do practically all the house work with little to no breaks inbetween and is conastantly leaving me stressed shes also Always going out at night leaving me with my 3 younger siblings with the Youngest at 4 years old for more than 2 hours and Expectss the house to be completely clean so im constantley stressed and i have my Mock GCSEs coming up and i never get and Space or quiet to revise leaving i get bad scores and when she finde out she scts All suprised.And she hardley lets me see by dad for long.iv discussed moving with my dad and he and my gradparets Are All for it but i know that sitting down and talking to my mother just wont work cause the only Thing she cares about is herself and money

[ccsmod2]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home with your mom. You deserve to feel safe and happy at home. It also sounds like you have a really good relationship with your dad.

An option you have is to talk to a school counselor or the police with hypothetical, anonymous questions, if you feel safe doing so. They may be able to provide you with options or information about custody that is unique to your region. Also, you mentioned not wanting to ask your mom if you could live with your dad. One option to consider is asking if you could, instead of living with him, see him or contact him more often.

Of course, feel free to call us anytime as we are toll-free, confidential, and 24/7.
Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I have to move house and it’s about 45 minutes away from my dad and I don’t know how to handle it as I won’t be able to see my dad anywhere near as much as I do now and we have such a great bond.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Moving homes can be extremely difficult especially when you are moving away from those that you care about. It is awesome that you are close with your dad and you guys have a great bond. One option is you could try and talk with your parents and see if you can see your father on the weekends or come up with a visitation plan. We know that having those conversations can be difficult, at NRS we offer conference calls. Conference calling is where you call us and we call out to your parents and have a 3 way call. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and provide support to you. Another option you could try is having more phone calls and maybe even skype sessions with your father. Sometimes phone calls and skype are a good way to keep communicating with your father.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your situation more please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck.
NRS

[Guest]

Please help

Im adopted, when i was 5-6 years old my biological dad came into my life and so did his wife(my step mom) I love them so much. My adoptive mom can be kind, when she wants to. Every time i come out of my room to do something(eat, get a school book) we end up fighting. about dumb things. But she will say something sarcastic, but it is kind of offensive and if i kindly ask her to not say that around me she starts yelling. if i raise my voice back i have to give her my phone. I am also homeschooled so im alone every day of my life except tuesdays. Im icolate myself in my room every day and if i even try to do anything theres my mom hovering over me. She teaches me math and she doesn't even understand it so im blindly putting random answers down cause if i ask a question i have to do extra chores. My dad works in Texas and My step mom, my adoptive mom, and me live in California. He comes back every 2-3 weeks and stays for 11 days. it sucks but whatever. I ish i could just live with them but my adoptive mom has told me its never going to happen and a couple days later i was super suicidal. Im not anymore so thats one good thing. But im obviously depressed, ouldnt you be if you hated the person you are living with. I get hate is a strong word but its the right one. Btw music is my only happy place, the only thing that stops me from crying, every time she takes my phone away, she bassically takes the ounce of happiness i have. That sounds a little dramatic but its the truth.Im 14 so i only have 4 miserable years left.

Please help me

[ccsmod9]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). If you feel like your dad is the best person to be with it might be a good idea to speak with him about the situation and inform him about what’s going on. He might be able to talk to your adoptive mom. Maybe even see you more often if that can help at all.
If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care, NRS

[Guest]

I'm 18 years old. My mom is abusive in more than one way. However I can't do anything because she is disabled. She's making problems that she has caused and using them against me to make me do what she wants. Threatened to put me in jail for stuff I haven't done.i don't feel safe whatsoever. Can I leave even if I'm all she has? Or do I have to deal with it

[ccsmod9]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. As far as your mom goes it might be a good idea to look up assistance perhaps even asking her doctor if there is any form of help in that sense. Maybe even considering paying for medical nurse to help you or a group home with people with disabilities.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

ok so i want to move in with my dad and my step mom because they respect me more. Im tired of living with my mom and i need to know what to do. Is there stuff that i can take like my iphone even though my mom is paying for it help me.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are wanting to move out of your mom's to stay with your dad and step mom. It's understandable that you are wanting more respect, here at NRS we truly want to help.

If your dad has partial custody, it might be a possibility to stay with him. If you haven't already, you might reach out to him and ask if it would be possible to stay at his. He might need to go to court depending on the current custody agreement. We can always look up legal aid resources for him, if you need. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org for those resources. If he has no custody rights and you run to him, that's when it might be possible for your mom to attempt to press harboring a runaway charges against him.

In regard to what you should bring, it would be hard for your mom to make it seem like you stole your phone, but she could shut off your line. You might avoid taking expensive things such as cars or computers, because she could say that you stole them. Generally, if you are planning on leaving home and not coming back you would want to take some clothes and your vital documents: ID, birth certificate, and social security card.

Sounds like you are trying to plan out how to leave. If you call or chat us, we can talk through your situation with you, help brainstorm your options, and try to help you make a plan focused around your safety. Please know that we are always here for you.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best,

NRS

[Guest]

i want to move out of my moms house because she’s constantly yelling at me, doesn’t trust me, and is saying how she wishes i wasn’t born. i get that people have it worse but the mental abuse i receive from her is insane. i want to move in with my dad but i also don’t want to move that far. i have the option to move into my friends house that’s closer so i can continue going to the same school then i would see my dad on weekends. i’m not sure how if i need to go to court for another custody battle because i’m almost 16

[ccsmod11]

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a little bit about what is going on. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legal experts but we can give general information.

It sounds like you are currently living with mom but want to go stay with dad because you don’t have a good relationship with mom. It also sounds like you are concerned that things may become unhealthier with the mental abuse from mom. You asked how you could go live with your dad but it sounds like your mom has custody of you. It also sounds like you get to see your dad on the weekend; have you talked with him about how you are feeling? You mentioned wanting to live with a friend so that you can stay at the same school. Is that something your mom or dad could possibly agree with? We say this because if your friends parents know that an individual is a runaway (left without guardian permission) and allows you to stay with them, they could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway, which can include legal penalties. A good way to avoid this would be to get permission from your guardians to stay with your friend’s family.

We want to support you in any way that we can. If you have more questions and would like to explore your situation further, you can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org during the hours of 4:30pm-11:30pm. We wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Guest]

Omg im in the same situation so glad I found this.

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for your message. We are here to listen and help locate resources, brainstorm options, or just as someone to talk to. Please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929 any time. We wish you all the best!
--NRS

[Guest]

I’m thinking of running away my mom is abusive and threading me. Like at the mall she said she would slap me in the face

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now.
Abuse is never okay and we are sorry you are dealing with it. You always have the right to report the abuse if you wish. To make an abuse report you can call The Child Help Line at 1800-422-4453. If you are ever in immediate danger please call the police (911).
You also mentioned wanting to runaway, we are not legal experts but do have general information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your mother does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you mention the abuse they would investigate and see if it would be safe for you to go home.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I want to move with my dad

Hey, I'm 14 and my parents have been divorced for 7 years. My dad lives in Arizona, which is very far away from where I live. I visit him often and during the holidays. I love to ride horses and I've always dreamed about owning my own. In Arizona, my step-grandma loves horses. she has owned them for many years. She is the only one in my family who actually likes horses and is passionate about them. Recently, my dad has offered me a horse if I came live with them in Arizona. I love living with my mom and we get along so well, but she never fully supports me trying to own a horse and only signs me up for lessons. I recently told her I wanted to move and she is heartbroken and claims she wants to raise me and see me grow up. She's good at raising me. She claims that my dad just wants me to move there so that he doesn't have to pay child support, and is a conman. I feel like if I moved with my dad, I'd be betraying my mom. I also met a guy that I really like in AZ and he also wants me to move. I care about my mom and her feelings. Should I do what's best for myself and my horse riding career? Or should I stay with my mom to not hurt her feelings? I feel really bad... I don't know what to do!!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in the middle of making a big decision, and that can be stressful. Reaching out in times of struggle is difficult but always a good step. You deserve to live in a home that is safe and loving.

Because only you know your family, self, and situation better than anyone else, we cannot make this decision for you, rather we can help you examine your options moving forward. One option you have is to talk to your parents directly about how you have been feeling. During this conversation, perhaps you could propose a compromise, such as visiting your dad more often or asking your mom to sign you up for more lessons. At the National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calls – moderated discussions between the caller and their parent or guardian. These are often found to be helpful in discussing difficult situations as we make sure that the conversation is respectful and productive.

Another option you have is to reach out to a trusted adult or relative who may be able to go over your situation and support you through this tough decision.

Finally, always feel free to reach out to us at the National Runaway Safeline (1-800-RUNAWAY). We are toll-free, confidential, and 24/7.

Stay strong and good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 13
I’ve been telling my mom for months that I wanna move to my dads house with him and my two siblings who moved from my moms to my dads
my mom and dad are great parents but the school near my dads house is way better and he has a bunch of stuff that I love, and my moms house is boring and I’m always just sitting there doing nothing
im so worried about hurting either of there feelings
my mom always says that she will be so sad and lonely if I leave and that she’s always seen us living together till I’m 18 and my dad is buying a bunch of stuff for me and I feel like he’s trying to make it feel like I have to move because of money
I find it so unfair fo me to have to tell my mom I wanna move and it’s hard to tell my dad she’s not letting me move
my dads job doesn’t have a set schedule so he’s leaving here and there for a day/night and my mom is worried i’de be stuck here alone with my sister who’s bipolar but my brother is planning on moving out soon so he said I could come and stay at his place while he’s working

sorry that may have been confusing but i just need someone to tell me how to tell my mom that I wanna move to my dads without hurting her feelings or how to tell my dad that I’ll move with home in a year without hurting his feelings

[ccsmod7]

Hello there,

Thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a really difficult situation with your mom wanting to move in with her dad. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

You mentioned feeling like your dad is wanting you to move by buying you things. If you haven't already, you might try to address your dad about why he is buying you things to see if he is wanting you to move in or he has an alternative motive like wanting to do nice things for you. If he has bought you things that are only at his house, you might also ask if you can take them to your mom's house so you have more to do there when you are feeling bored.

Seems like you really care about your mom and do not want to hurt her feelings, and moving might make her lonely and might make her worry about your safety when your dad is away. Both you and your mom's feelings are valid. Maybe there can be room for compromise with you going over to your dad's more without permanently living there, or staying there only when he is there. Here at NRS, we have a conference call service meant for mediating hard conversations with youth and their parents to work towards compromises. If you are interested in that service to help talk to your mom please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need any resources or support. We are here for you.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I left my dads house without him knowing to my moms and I forgot two little bags of stuff if I went back to get them would it be illegal or should I wait

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS