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  • Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

    How can I move with my dad? My parent got a divorce when I was about 4 and now I don't want to live with my mom. I've tried talking to her and everything. I need to get out of the house and she wont even let me go stay with a friend for a few nights so that i can have some time away from her. I have a few places I can stay and I'm currently looking for a job. I just can't be in the same house as her anymore. If I do I'm scared me and her may get in a fist fight and I dont wanna hurt my mom. I have an older brother and it seems she care more about him then she does me and brother is 21 years old with a daughter who's 3. well now she acts like she cares more about my bro's then me. she'll do everything for them but nothing for me. she's putting alot of stress on me like cook food, pick up my sister, feed her, help her with her homework and if she get bad grade (which she does because she never turns in her work), i get in trouble for it, she says I'm responsible for my little sister while she goes out with her boyfriend. she also wants me to clean the house everyday have food ready the dish clean. I understand I have to help but this keeps putting stress on me. My brother on the other hand never does anything and plays video games all day when he's not working, and he never get in trouble, me on the hand I have 7 classes to work about tests for my junior year of high school and can't put up with all of this, and on top of this since she has a boyfriend, she's been so busy and spend the internet money on going out with him that we have no internet or sometimes food to eat and she also stop cooking until he comes then she starts making food which is around 10 o'clock at night and now with no internet I have to go to the library. All I know is that I have to many important things to spend my time on like school, my Jrotc position, and looking for a job, please help me my dad told me I can move in with him but he live like 2 hours away I would have to changes school for my senior year but that not really a problem I know for a fact my mom won;t let me move out with due to the fact she has custudy of me and that I'm only able to see my dad every two weeks which my mom doesn't even. I don't know what to do I just don't want to live with my mom.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legally trained here so we can’t give you any specific answers but we can try to help you locate resources and discuss your other options. It was very brave of you to reach out to us.

    It sounds like you are currently living with mom but want to go stay with dad because you don’t have a good relationship with mom. It also sounds like you are concerned that things may become physical if you were to stay there. Has that ever happened before?

    We are sorry to hear that you feel like mom cares more about your brother than she does you. That sounds incredibly difficult for you, especially with all of the responsibilities that she has for you. You mentioned quite a few personal responsibilities that you have and those things sound very important to you. Have you told anyone at school or any other adults how you are feeling? Sometimes, talking with people can help you feel better and help find other resources that may be available to you.

    You asked how you could go live with your dad but it sounds like your mom has custody of you, is that correct? It also sounds like you get to see your dad every few weeks; have you talked with him about how you are feeling? Again, we aren’t legally trained here so we wouldn’t be able to give you any specific details but you may need to speak with an attorney or someone else that is legally trained. They would probably be better able to answer legal questions and give you specific answers about your options.

    If going to live with dad isn’t an option, do you know what you might do? Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are non directive so we wouldn’t tell you what to do but we can help you explore options or resources. We have a database that includes numbers for shelters, counselors and legal aid; if you were to call us, we could also help you call the agencies to see if they would be able to help you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call. We also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week if you would prefer talking with someone that way instead.

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey

    Comment


    • #3
      Moving out of my mothers house and going to live with my dad

      I am in the same predicament. I am 17 years of age and my mother has not been treating me fairly at home. I was adopted by her when I was 9, my dad and her got a divorce about a year and a half ago. I almost decided to go and live with my dad last year but I decided to see how things would go between my mother and I. Things were going great up until about 6 months ago. When I am at home it is always do this.. do that.. "You never appreciate anything I do for you" "mother speaking". I try so hard to keep her satisfied but there is just no pleasing her.. I also have two younger siblings, these two are her actual biological kids. Her two kids are completely spoiled by her. It is like she only feels that she has to treat them fairly because they are her biological kids, and I am just there to do all the chores that she doesn't feel like doing herself. My mother also owns a daycare, but when ever I make plans and she has to do something or wants to go do something and she still has daycare kids I have to cancel my plans and watch her daycare kids.. It isn't my job to watch her daycare kids and it is soo annoying. I have been talking to my dad about going to live with him and he is all for it. But the problem I am going to run into is having to deal with my mom's BS about going to live with him.

      Comment


      • #4
        Moving out of my mom's house to my father's house

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting us on our bulletin. It sounds like you're struggling quite a bit at home and you would prefer to live with your dad. We want to commend you on your reaching out and exploring your options and resources. You mentioned you are 17 years old. Most states require you to be 18 years-old before you can choose to live where you want without requiring permission/legal processes. However, the age is 17 in some states. So, you may want to familiarize yourself with your state's laws. Child Help USA is a good resource that deals with legal questions, especially pertaining to youth and their rights, and can be reached at 1-800-422-4453.

        It seems like you have expressed your desire to move in with your father. Have you spoken to your mother about your thoughts and feelings and desire to move in with your father? It seems like you are doing a great job in reaching out and expressing yourself to others for support. We encourage you to continue to do so. If you want to talk more about this issue in the future, you can visit us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org during the hours of 3:30pm-11:30pm. We are happy to help you in any way we can through resources and support.

        Good luck,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Comment


        • #5
          from dads to mums

          My mum kicked me and my younger sister out when we were 10-11 due to being uncontrolable causing us to move in with our dad, years have passed since then were now 14-15 and unhappy. Ever since we moved jn with our dad weve started smoking,drinking and becoming sexually active weve also been physically abused and bith have had black eyes from beatings from our dad. My younger sister has also gotten into drugs such as weed and herbal haze i myself have only tried cocaine (provided by my dad) now weve told someone were on child protection and were down for mental, physical and suspected sexual abuse. From weve moved in with our dad thats resulting in having to grow up quicker so were very mature for our ages, we know right from wrong, what choices to make, how to look after ourselves and so on but any chance my dad gets he starts on me and my younger sister, he never prises us for good but is forever bring back up the bad.. weve passed the point of suicide (i dosed and my sister used to self harm) luckily were still here. We bith just want to move out.. my mum has resedensy over us, what does that mean if me and my sister pack our stuff and go? can our father get the police to return us?.. please help us.. thank you

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: from dads to mums

            Hi Shannon,

            Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. It sounds like you're in a tough situation and that living with your dad is very unpleasant for you. It was very brave of you to reach out. No one deserves to be abused. If we're understanding your post correctly, there is already an abuse report pending. If not, would you like our help or support reporting abuse?

            We're not legal experts here at NRS, but we can give you some general info on leaving home. If your mom has joint custody, you may be able to live with her, especially if there is abuse at home. Otherwise, your dad could file a runaway report, which means the police could return you home. A good way to get more definite answers to these questions is to call your local non-emergency police number and ask them these questions hypothetically. They'll be able to tell you how they'd respond.

            We're here to listen and here to help, Shannon, in any way we can. If you'd like to discuss this further, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We're available on our safeline 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Or you can chat with us from 4:30 to 11:30 pm by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red button. We hope to hear from you soon.

            Best of luck,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:



            National Runaway Safeline

            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)

            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!

            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

            Comment


            • #7
              [Name Removed for confidentiality purposes]

              I have decided that I need to move out of my mom's house because her and I get into fist fights and she sprained my pinky and she texts while driving at 90mph on backroads she has a boyfriend named Bryan who looks at me in the wrong ways
              I f***ing hate her

              Comment


              • #8
                Reply from NRS

                Thanks for contacting us a sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like you are going through a lot at home right now and are really fed up with your mom and her boyfriend. You mentioned that you and your mom get into fights a lot and sometimes those turn physical. If you do not feel safe in your home and there is abuse going on; you have every right to report that and let someone know what is happening. No one deserves to be hurt or abused in anyway and you can reach out to child services. Does anyone else know about the fights going on in the home?

                It’s understandable that with everything going on you have thought about moving out. Do you have a safe place to go if you did end up leaving? If you would like some further support you can always call us at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to talk through this situation more in depth. We also have a live chat available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Our services are confidential and anonymous and there is always someone available to listen and discuss safe options and resources in your area. Feel free to contact us anytime. Take care.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                Comment


                • #9
                  Ff

                  How do I move out to get to my dads house

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Ff

                    Hi there,

                    Thank you for contacting us here at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are wanting to move out to get to your dad's house. Unfortunately we can not help you much here without more information about your situation.

                    We are here to help you out the best that we can. Our hotline is 24/7, anonymous and confidential at 1800runaway. If you would like to call in we will support you the best that we can. We also have chat available from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST through our website at 1800runaway.org.

                    We hope to hear from you soon,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:


                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                    Tell us what you think about your experience!

                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm 15 moving from my mom's to my dad's

                      My parents split before I was born and since then I've seen my mom 10x more thank I see my dad. I used to love that my mom was so controlling because it made me feel safe. However, I am 15 now and in high school trying to make myself a good living so that I can support myself.

                      My mom is a pastor which is awesome and I'm so proud of her for reaching her goal, but that's not my goal in life and that's what she wants for me. She's overprotective and isn't fair with her rules. My brother gets treated like a God and I get treated awful. Nothing can be good like him or how he does things. I am currently a freshman taking all honors and AP classes in the sophomore grade level. I should be respected more than I am.

                      My dad respects me to no end and he wants to give me the world. However, my mom won't let me have it. I've always wanted to be daddy's little princess and I've never gotten the opportunity. In the past 6 months my dad and I have grown a lot closer. I am also moving schools to better my education so that I may get into a better college.

                      I am unsure how to tell my mom I'm moving out and what to do if she says no. I'm firm on my decision and will not back down. I believe that a positive environment will definitely better my life. What should I do?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I'm 15 moving from my mom's to my dad's

                        Hello –

                        Thanks for reaching out with your questions and concerns. It sounds like you have made up your mind on moving in with your dad but you are really struggling with how to tell your mom. You mentioned that you have a good relationship with mom but she can be really strict and you would like to have a better relationship with your father. It’s understandable you would like to spend more time with your dad and think it would be a positive move. Do both of your parents have custody or are you worried about your mom taking any legal action if you leave?

                        It’s understandable that you are not sure how to approach this issue with your mom. Sometimes it may be helpful to think about different ways to reach out like writing her a letter. Another option you could consider is something we have called a parent conference call. If you would like to have a conversation with your mom you can always call us and we could mediate a conversation between the two of you. If you would like to look into that option or would like to discuss this situation more in depth you can call us at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Our services are confidential and anonymous and there is always someone here to listen and here to help. Take care.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Please take our survey!

                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I want out of my moms home.

                          Hi, I'm 17 and I just can't take it at my moms house anymore, she yells, threatens, and a just can't handle the mantle abuse. My parents are divorced, I think split custody? I see my dad Monday Tuesday and every other weekend, and my mom Wednesday Thursday every other weekend. Do I have to go to the courts? I don't wanna hurt my mom like that but I don't want to stay

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I want out of my moms home.

                            Hi there,

                            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and we are sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you are in a really tough spot and we are here to help you out the best that we can.

                            So it sounds like things with your mom are not going well. No one deserves to experience abuse, no matter what type. It sounds like your parents do share split custody of you based on what you have explained. We are not legal experts here, so we do not want to misguide you or tell you the wrong information.

                            An option that you might be interested in is if you call our hotline. 1-800-RUNAWAY, we can provide you with resources to agencies that can help you explore your legal options. Another service that we offer is “Conference Calling” where we will help you speak to your mother about the situation at home and potentially talk to her about coming to a compromise about the situation. Part of the service is to prep you and help you brainstorm what you would want to talk about with your mother and what you think is the best way to address it.

                            We are always here to help, 24/7. If you ever have any concerns or just want further resources then feel free to contact us. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we also have a live chat session every day from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. You can count on us for support or any other resources.
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:


                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                            Tell us what you think about your experience!

                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I want to leave my dads house

                              Hi, im 16 and I can not stand to be with my dad. He treats me loke his maid and is constantly telling me im wrong and im only as smart as my three year old brother. I see my dad every other weekend and one night a week. I play twof sports and He is making me miss practices and games on a regular basis and expects me to just sit at home. He screams in my face and yells all the time. He has had multiple wives in and out of the house. My mom was his first wife. I am the oldest and I am expected to raise my other siblings. I cook all meals and clean up after everyone. He has smacked me in the face multiple times but not hard enough to bruse or anything so m not sure if its considered abuse. He tells me all the time how awful my mother is and then tells me how I am just like her. I just want to live with my mom and get out of this house. How much trouble canI get in for running away to my moms? Can she get in trouble?

                              Comment

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