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  • Need Some Legal Info

    Hi, I'm in need of some legal info.
    My girlfriend (15) and I (16) are thinking of running away, because it seems to be that that's becoming the only way for us to be together. Here's a little background info on exactly WHY:

    This started a couple of months ago, a few weeks before Christmas. My girlfriends mother had been yelling and screaming at her for weeks, for hours on end, for every little thing. Then, one day, my girlfriend argued back. Her mom then threw her out. After that (once they had found her and such) her mom forced her to go live with her father, a few cities over. Her mom and her started to go to counseling, in order to work things out. Her mom wanted to punish her though, and refused to allow her to have contact with me, and for a few weeks after that we weren't able to talk. Then winter break was over, she started going to school in that city, and was able to email me. After about a week we attempted to see each other, her mother flipped out and since she has all the power, stopped it from happening. She wanted no contact whatsoever, but that simply was not going to happen. One day, her father said that he didn't mind if I came over. I went over, we had a good time, and things seemed to be starting to get better. Then her father told her mother about it. She flipped out (again) and told the counsiler to tell my girlfriend that she had to choose between me and her mother. She wanted my girlfriend to "prove" she was working to come back and be a family again, and not just for me. My girlfriend has been doing EVERYTHING her mother had asked, except when it came to me. She has been trying very hard, and her mom seems dead set on making her miserable, and wants complete and utter control. It has gotten to the point where we feel that one of our only options left is to run away together, because her mom doesn't seem to care how my girlfriend feels, or whats good for her. So I have a few questions.

    -If we were to run away, is it still possible to finish high school, get a diploma, and go to college? We both have high grades, and don't want to screw up our future together. Also, if we were to go to school, could our parents find us?

    -Would the police have a right to arrest us, and bring us back to our parents?

    -I have my social security number, can I get a job without our parents finding us?

    We really wouldn't do this unless we didn't have any other option, I'm only asking in case it comes to that. We love each other very much (we're actually secretly engaged)but there seems to be no way to knock some sense into her mothers head. Like I said, her mom seems dead set on making her miserable, controlling her, and not caring how my girlfriend feels or how it affects her. Her mother has taken everything away from her except me, is trying to rip us apart, and we're not gonna let that happen.

  • #2
    Hello,
    Sounds like a very complicated situation. We’re glad you reached out to us and we’ll do what we can provide you with some options.

    The main thing we’re hearing is that your girlfriend is experiencing something very difficult with her mom and it is affecting your relationship with your girlfriend. You said that the only option you feel you have is to leave home because mom doesn’t like that you and your girlfriend are in communication.

    You asked a handful of questions and we’ll try and answer them as best as we can but here’s a quick rundown of runaway laws:

    The legal age of adult hood in most states is 18. That means that until that age, you can only live or go where your guardian gives you permission to. If someone leaves home without permission, parents are able to make runaway reports with the police and from there, police will do whatever they need to to return youth home. Sometimes police try a lot, sometimes they don’t.

    And it does become difficult to continue with school and get a job because in most states you will need a guardian to accompany and sign you into a school and you may need permission to get a job before 17. Some schools and jobs tend to run background checks and that may mean that they’ll tap into your runaway report that is filed.

    Hope that touches on some of your questions but we don’t want you to feel like you don’t have any options. If you’d like to explore and talk about what options are available to you and your girlfriend, you can call our crisis hotline. We’re anonymous, confidential and available 24/7. If calling isn’t your thing, you can reach us by our live chat program from 430p-1130p (Central Standard Time).

    Best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      im really thinking of running away

      I'm 13 and I'm really thinking of getting on a train and leaving the state. I would have someone to live with but that's about it. The only reason I'm questioning this decision is because of my little sister, I don't want to leave her with our mother who lashes out at us by throwing things at us, hitting us, and pulling our hair. She has no job so we all live with my great grandmother whom my mother also yells at but my great grandmother can't hear. She goes out four times a week and doesn't come home till four in the morning. And after she hits us she acts like nothing happens and will hug us and say she loves us, but then will freak out again as soon as we start feeling comfy again.if I do run away I would want to take Emily with me but I know she would miss mom to much. What should I do?

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm thinking of running away

        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. We have read both your bulletin posts and will respond to them here. It sounds like there is some pretty severe abuse at home. Nobody deserves to be abused or made to feel unsafe in their own home. Just to let you know, we are ‘mandated reporters’. This means that if you wanted to call us and give specific details about what happened such as names, addresses, times and phone numbers, we would be required to report it to law enforcement and child protective services. We can also call the police with you for moral support. You and your sister have the right to feel safe; you also have the right to go to school regardless of your living situation. You can also talk to someone at your school since school teachers and counselors are also mandated reporters.

        Have you ever thought about reporting before? It can be very scary to talk to the authorities about what is going on at home. We think you are very brave for making the first step at getting information. You mentioned getting on a train and crossing state lines with your sister. Do you have a plan for where you would go, or how you feed yourselves? It can be very overwhelming trying to find new shelters every night. We would be happy to call shelters and advocate for you, but it is much easier to plan ahead to make sure there are enough beds available. Do you have someone you could stay with?
        Technically, running away is not against the law. In most places it’s considered a status offence. However, anyone that you and your sister would be caught staying with could possibly be charged with ‘harboring a runaway’ should your legal guardian choose to press charges. Do you think your mom would press charges against anyone helping you?

        Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we have a large database of resources and would be happy to connect you to people in your community who can help you. Although we cannot tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, we would help you explore options and help you plan the best way to safely leave. We are confidential and anonymous and available for you 24/7. We can be reached day or night at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck. Take care and be safe.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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