Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

im 14 my mother is abusive physically mentally and she does drugs i feel unsafe to live with and told her ive wanted to live with my dad she made fun of me and called me selfish ive had csp called on us ab 4 times and she forced me to lie im really scared honestly and ive thought ab taking my life and failed many times so im thinking ab running away i live in portland or i know its legal but im scared of what she might do i have everything planed out and know where im gonna go to my friends mom...she gonna try to fight for me and im gonna try to get my dad to fight to but i dont know what to do other then that

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of what has been going on at home. It sounds pretty frustrating not being able to see your dad and deal with the environment at home with your mom. When it comes to court orders, your dad is able to request a copy of the court orders (which would include custody and visitation orders) to the court itself. He also probably has either his own lawyer or a state assigned representative, they would have a copy of the court orders as well. If visitations are required, your mom could get into trouble for not following through with them. It would be a pretty good idea for your dad to connect with their lawyer soon.

You mentioned that your mom has verbally/emotionally abused you before, you can report this as abuse. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

We hope this helps, please contact us via chat or phone call if you would like to talk in more detail. We are here to support you!

Stay strong,
NRS

Help!

My mom has full custody over me. She has lied to my dad about his visitation rights, and won't even let me go every other weekend. She refuses to even give him a copy of the divorce and custody papers. My mom is very verbally abuses, she throws everything that happens to me back in my face and I can't take it anymore. She has pushed me past my point. I really want to live with my dad, and she won't let me. I'm only 15. What can I do?

[ccsmod3]

Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

It sounds like things have between pretty tough with you and your mother lately, and we're sorry to hear that. While we can't tell you what you should do, we're happy to throw out a few options that you think through. One thing we like to encourage young people to do when having issues at home and who are thinking about running away is to consider how you'd respond to a similar situation once you're out of the house. So for you, it might be worthwhile to think about how you'd work through a situation with your dad if it resulted in you arguing for a couple of days. How would you navigate that? It's likely that dad's house will also have rules and expectations, and there will be times when you two bump heads. If your first instinct is to leave or otherwise remove yourself from that situation, it's probably a good idea to focus on ways that you can work through the tough times that you're experiencing rather than leaving when they occur. This can be challenging to do, but it's an important part of growing up. If you decide to go this route, it can be helpful to have someone supportive to talk to, like a therapist or a social worker. A good starting point in getting connected with someone is to reach out to a teacher or directly to your school counselor or social worker who can both provide support, and connect you with someone else who can as well.

As far as running away in general, it's usually a good idea to have a plan in place. Consider where you'll go, how you'll get there, and what you'll do to survive once you're there. It's great that your dad is an option, but if your mom has primary custody of you, it's important to know that it can also be a pretty complex situation that could result in your dad facing legal consequences for harboring a runaway. Each state has their own laws in place around this, but it's a good idea to be aware of them (and make sure dad is also aware of them), before making that decision.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on between you and mom, continue to explore your options with us, or otherwise just have a supportive person to talk to, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Best of luck.

NRS

I need help,I want to go live with my dad but my mother will not let me and we have been arguing for a couple days now and I'm starting to feel like I want to runaway to his house,,I am 15 and I need to know what should I do?

[ccsmod15]

Hello there,
Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like a lot is going on at home. You do not deserve to be treated the way your step dad is treating you. We are not legal experts, but your dad would need legal custody of you in order for you to move in with him without your mom's permission. We can talk about this further is you would like to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org. We are here to help and listen. You are not alone in this.
Stay safe,
NRS

Right now I leave at my mom's with my mom and my step dad, I am currently 14 years old and I am having a tough time living here. My step dad is always trying to argue with us about everything and he makes us do a lot of chores. He always picks on me and makes fun of me . My stepdad once wanted to fight me. I wish to move to my real dad's house but don't know how to do it without getting into trouble. Is there a way I can move to my dad's legally?

[ccsmod8]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It can take a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we’re really glad you did. It sounds like there’s a lot going on at home right now with your relationships with your mom and dad. Hopefully we can help in any way that we can.

It can be hard to talk to someone about your feelings and thoughts with someone and it takes a lot of trust as well. But one postive outcome might be that you and this person can be on the same page and really connect on the issue. It might be heplful to do this with your father. Sharing with him some of the information you shared with us may be helpful for him to understand how you’re feeling right now. While it is not illegal for you to run away, if you aren’t yet 18 in most states your mom could call the police and file a runaway report. You mentioned that your mom took your dad to court over custody as well. If he already as legal representation it might be helpful for him to reach out and ask him what his rights are and if he is able to do anything to stop your mother from treating you this way. If he doesn't, we might have a few resources in our database that can be helpful. If you’d like explore that option, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

You mentioned that your mom is physical that sometimes you feel scared. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, and your safety is a priority to us. If you’d like more information on child abuse or reporting, you can visit childhelp.org or call 1-800-422-4453.

Again, thank you so much for reaching out to the NRS! It’s great to see you’re taking steps to keep yourself safe. We’re always here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or you can chat with us on our website. Best of luck!

Hello.. im currently with my mother and my parents have been split since my birth, and over the years I can see why. My mother isn't very mentally stable and makes up crazy stories half of the time always making her the victim.. she also tends to do the same to me as I try my best to steer clear from her drama, but always in the end of the day im always telling myself horrible things from everything she says to me, she is physical aswell and sometimes im scared to be home, I've tried staying at my dads house when I visited him and refused to leave but my mother then took him to custody and the judge didn't even let me speak and explain why, and forced me back, im done with no one listening and I plan to run away to my fathers to escape my mother.. I have to inform him but im just worried about getting him in trouble about my decisions

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. Unfortunately without more information, this isn't a question we can answer at the moment. Knowing who has legal custody of you and what your parents might (or have already) agreed to in terms of your care is important information for us to know. That said, if you're considering running from your dad's house to your mom's, a good starting point would be to connect with your parents. See what they think, and if they'll agree to you staying with your mom. Communication is important, so opening that door with a conversation might be beneficial to you.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about your particular situation and what options might be available to you, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

If I run away from my dads house to my moms dosent still count as running away

[ccsmod2]

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to speak about what is going on. It sounds like you are living in a very difficult situation, and you are brave for reaching out for help. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and you do not deserve the treatment that you have been receiving. We want to help you come up with a plan that ensures your safety.



You have the right to report abuse that you are experiencing to child protective services. If the abuse you are experiencing is found to be dangerous, it is likely that you would be removed from the home. We are not legal experts, but we want to let you know there is a possibility that your guardians could get in trouble if you choose to file an abuse report. If you would like more information about abuse reporting and the process for your state, a great resource is Child Help: (800) 422-4453.



In order to legally go and live with your father, you would need permission from your guardians. If you choose to leave without permission, it is considered running away. Running away is not a criminal offense, which means that you would not receive criminal charges. If you run away, your guardians could choose to file a runaway report. This means that if the police know you are at your dad’s house, there is a chance that they could come and take you back to your legal guardians. Although we cannot definitively say what will happen, there is also the possibility that you father could be charged with the crime of harboring a runaway.



You deserve to feel safe and cared for, and we hope that we can help you reach that point. If you would like to talk more about your situation or need more help, feel free to reach out to us through our online chat feature or call us at 1-800-786-2929. We are available 24/7 to listen and help.

Be well!

[ccsmod6]

Hello,



Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. We're sorry to hear it sounds like you are not being treated well at home. We want to help you ensure your safety.



While we are not legal experts, we have a great deal of legal experience when it comes to runaways. It is not illegal to run away, however, there are laws about harboring a runaway that vary state to state. If you disclose to the police that there is abuse at home, they may be willing to work with you.



Another option to consider is making an abuse report. If you call or chat us, we can help you make the call or even make the call on your behalf.



Lastly, please consider calling ChildHelp at 800-422-4453. They have a hotline with counselors who can help you make a safety plan so you can protect yourself at home.



Please give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY or a chat at 1800runaway.org so we can help discuss your options. We are available 24/7.



Best of luck and we hope to hear from you soon.

I am 15 and I ran away from my guardians to my dad's because I don't want to be with them anymore. I'm tired of being treated like a slave and the abuse. What can I do about this?I don't want to get my dad in trouble and don't want to get in trouble myself. What should I do as my next action to insure my safety and my dad's also.