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Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • What should I do if my mother criticizes me to fit her standards. Straight A's, If I have a C then I am punished. I have ate soap, been hit, hit with belts, "spanked", my hair cut down, threats against me for her to send me to juvy, threats that I cannot see my father again. I am only 15....but I cannot take this anymore. I have to clean an entire house everyday and most the days I don't. It's stressful and so hard for me. I have 14 younger siblings. They are all half and on both sides of my family. The lesser of them on my moms side. My dad has no custody of me at all that I know of. My father says he is on my birth certificate but, I am unsure because my mother says he isn't. He owes about 30,000 in child support from when he got sick. He almost had it paid off. My mom won'y drop the child support and keeps threatening to send me to juvy or further "punish" me or keep me from my father. There are many more reasons other than my mother, including schooling and the people in this area. But I would like to move or run away off to my dads. I even talked to my dad about it. What can I do to make that possible without her sending me anywhere or having my father in prison? PLEASE HELP ASAP

    Comment


    • Reply: What should I do if my mother criticizes me

      Hello,
      Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

      We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
      Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn. It can be tough trying satisfy someone else’s expectations. You don’t deserve to be abused and mistreated for not reaching them. It’s not your fault that your mother beaves this way towards you. You have the right to want to live in a safe place. It sounds like you are very frustrated with the situation.
      We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      There are laws that protect minors against forms of abuse. To file a report is a big step but it might also help with getting you placed with a relative or possibly foster care. Your safety is important.
      NRS is here to listen and here to help. We would like to hear more about your situation and even explore options with you.
      If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, we can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.
      To report child abuse most schools have counselors or social workers that can assist you with making a report as they are mandated reports for child abuse. Also you can contact Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453

      You were very brave to reach out to NRS today. Good for you.
      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • My mother like actually hates me and I’m barely 13 I told her I wanna live with my father and she’s calls me terrible things. I can’t stand it anymore! It’s to the point I just wanna frigging kill myself she favors my brother and makes me do everything for myself!i feel like I’m her slave and I just can’t take it. I’ve tried talking to her and she just calls me a stupid ignorant brat wanting attention.im tired of it honestly I am. Hell is what I’m living in here help me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello!

          Thank you for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you are living in a very difficult situation. Home should be a place of comfort and support. You mention that you want to kill yourself. We take that very serious. Your safety is our number one priority. You can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255. They can provide you with support and other resources that you might find beneficial. Another hotline that might help is the National alliance on Metal Illness hotline. You can reach them at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741. They provide aid in regards to your mental health and can provide you with resources if you want them.

          You also mention that your mom calls you terrible things and makes you her slave. You can always reach out to Child Help at 1800-422-4453. They provide assistance and guidance about what is going on with your mom. You can also reach out to us at 1800-786-2929. We provide a service called conference calls. This is where you could call in and we could do a three way call with you and your mom. We would be mediating the call to make sure it goes smoothly and set ground rules and goals for the conversation. You could also utilize our services via our live chat on our website, www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7 and confidential. Thanks again for reaching out to us and stay safe.

          We’re here to help, here to listen.

          National Runaway Safeline

      • my mom is making me watch my 7 year old step brother who i absolutely hate and is psychotic and tried to suffocate my 5 month old half sibling and i live with my mom all year and go to my dads house every other weekend and i absolutely hate my mother but everytime i say i am not legally obligated to watch him she always yells at me and tells me that she is the parent and makes the decisions not me. and i go to school out by my moms house and if i run away to my dads for the summer she will call the cops and never let me live with her again or do whatever she can to make my life hell and take everything away from me and i am 13 years old and i don’t want to switch schools or my dad to get in trouble if i run away and try to live with him for the summer. i have to watch my stepbrother all summer and i am not allowed to hangout with any of my friends or have any sleepovers at all for the summer and she is purposely trying to wreck my summer because she hates me and doesn’t want to pay for a babysitter for my step brother because she already pays for daycare for my 2 baby half siblings who are 1 year old and 5 months old. what should i do? i need help fast! i want to go to my dads next weekend!

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. We’re sorry your home situation has turned out the way it is. Have you talked with your dad about what’s going on at your mother’s? Maybe he can talk with your mother and work something out for you. Have you talked to your dad about staying with him? There is probably a custody agreement he and your mother worked out and he would know whether you staying with him is possible. He would probably have to go to court to get any changes in the custody agreement. Does your mother have any other family members who live nearby who might be able to help with the babysitting duties? Is your step-father helpful to you at all?
          Again, thanks for contacting us. We know how hard it can be to ask for help when one is trying to figure out their options. If you would like to talk about your situation further please don’t hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.

      • Hey so over the summer I am supposed to stay with my father even thought the treats me like dirt and wouldn’t do any thing with me and just keep me in a house all day with no food I like no ac Also no sort I like or any sort of entertainment what so ever and and anything I ask for his girlfriend will say no to everything and is controlling him for anything I want to do. So what I’m wondering is if I run away what would happen because I’m very tired of this crap and my mom lives 15 minutes from my fathers. Also if I did would this interfere with any court stuff and would my mom get into any trouble?

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to provide support. We are sorry you are going through such a difficult time. If your father is not providing you with any food this could be a form of neglect. If you would like to make a neglect report you can contact the police or Child Help at : 1800-422-4453.
          We are not legal experts but we do have some knowledge on the laws. If you were to runaway your father has the right to file a runaway report. If your mother has custody that may make things different and you may be allowed to stay with your mom. If your mother does not have custody the police may make you return to your dads home if they found you. We are unsure if this would affect any court stuff going on you can always call the police anonymously and ask them what could happen. There is a thing called harboring a runaway that if you stay with someone they could be charged with that. Usually it is a misdemeanor or a fine they would have to pay. One option for you could be to talk with your mother and see if you would be able to stay with her, and if your father could agree on that.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
          NRS

      • I’m 14 about to turn 15 in September My parents have 50/50 custody but i live with my dad. I want to live with my mom but my dad won’t let me. My dad drinks a lot and when he drinks he’s a completely different person he starts acting inappropriately and doesn’t even care his kids have to witness it. My stepmom does not like me and threatens to hit me when she’s mad she treats her kids highly and treats me like I’m nothing. Her son told me that she told him she hates me. She bullies me of my weight and looks telling “jokes”about me being ugly to her kids. Also her son is very abusive , he’s 13 but extremely strong. He hits me constantly and even leaves bruises he even pretends to throw knives at me and then just laughs. I don’t want to live with my dad anymore but I don’t know what to do because he won’t listen to me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod12
          ccsmod12 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. It take courage to ask for help, and we’re glad that you did.

          The situation you are in sounds very difficult. You shouldn’t have to suffer emotional or physical abuse from your family, and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about yourself for who you are. If you want to discuss your situation with someone, you can always call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat with us online. You can also reach out to Child Help (1-800-422-4453), which is a hotline that assists youths experiencing physical and emotional abuse.

          Running away when you are under 18 is what is known as a status offense, which means that if you ran away to your mom’s or to another location, you probably would not get into legal trouble. However, if your father or step-mother file a runaway report and the police are able to locate you, they would be required to return you to your father.

          We would be happy to work with you to figure out your next steps, and how to stay safe in whatever decision you make. Please feel free to call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat with us any time; we are available 24/7. Best of luck to you, and thanks again for reaching out.

          Best, NRS

      • So my mom has been emotionally and even physically abusing me since I was little. It has gotten worse over the years as far as name calling. I can’t stand the way she treats me anymore. I am 15 and I am going to be 16 in less than a year. I want to live with my step dad because my dad has never really been in my life and isn’t even on my birth certificate. Is there anyway I would be able to live with him? Please help!

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • Can I run away to live with my birth mother without have to go to court because my life except for 3 years I lived with my stepdad. My stepdad was abusive and I was to scared to do anything so I threw a tantrum and he would grab me drag me up the stairs and throw me in my room I once sat on the ledge of my window of a 2 story building I was about to jump out I also am to scared to cut myself because my scars should show because I only where short sleeve shirts and I would always when I was really mad try to hurt myself by hitting my head really had so if I’m ever throwing a tantrum I end up hiring my head against things throwing my self into the floor and hurting myself to the point where if I am mad I can be alone in a room with dangerous things I was once so mad that I when into the kitchen and found the big gist nife I could find and I threatened to kill my self and now that I’m older my stepdad dose t do anything to me because he knows I can tell the court I want to switch to visit my mom. So I was born first and my real dad was never there he left befor I was born and then eventually my brothers dad cane along and they were my new brothers and we livid with his dad and all my life he had been telling me that I was his real dad and I always was until I found out from one of his ex girlfriends and that was when I snapped and I got really mad at him for making me believe that he was my father and then my mom and him and I and my brothers all lived together then my mom did something bad and my stepdad didn’t approve of it so he kept us away from her for a very very very very long time because I had just met her again when I was 9 and she could only visit us once a week for 2 hours then she went to a group home and we visited her there 1 time and we didn’t see her for a while. Then eventually she moved into a house with her boyfriend and we got to see her every other weekend because we used to see my moms grandma every other weekend but we like to see our mom more because we had seen my grandma longer than our mom then my mom has to move and she wasn't in a good neighborhood so my stepdad kept us away from her. Then we eventually got to the summertime and he ended up doing something wrong and he went to jail so we got to stay with my mom then he got out and got a house so we had to stay with him the whole school year we got to see my mom every now and then but then came tweeds the end of the school year and he crashed his motorcycle and then he got blew up in the infurmory during construction. So we got to stay with my mom for the rest of the school year and summer then the next school year we are with her for most of the school year then he takes us and brings us to his new house and we keep going to school just with him then we barley got to see our mom then my my step dad on new years hit a girl and she was beating him they where boyfriend and girlfriend then we put a restraining order on her then she hit him again becuase she came with the restraining order on her and he hit her back and he went to jail then he went to the city’s to look for a job and somebody claimed he disobeyed his probation and he got drunk and hit a girl so now he is in treatment so we have to kid with my stepdads sister and she sometime disagrees with me and we end up not getting along so and cry and I don’t like talking about my feelings to adults because they don’t understand and then if I go to therapy then they will tell my parents and they won’t understand and I would like to talk about my friends to this but I don’t have friends who like to talk about that stuff except for one but they moved to Arizona so we basically can’t talk except for phone and text and that’s not the same. Then I try to help my mother because she just got a new house so I help and set up rooms and stuff and my aunt just dobsonfly wants me home and then June 25th my mom got surgery because she had breast cancer so I was trying to help her extra because she can’t move her arms that well from her surgery and she can only lift small light things because she can only move her elbows to her hands up and down and a little left to right. Then my aunt wants me home at my stepdads and he is still in treatment so I don’t see him but I stay in my room and my brothers come wake me up so I can go to my moms to see how she is doing we get there and I eat dinner with my mom and brothers and my aunt calls and says we all have to come home and she gave us a five minute talk that we can’t leave without letting her know and then she won’t even Give me a ride back and my mother can drive and they are making me stay at there house.

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for reaching out and sharing your story. Sounds like you are in a very difficult situation living with your stepdad and wanting to live with your mom who does not have custody of you.

          Generally speaking, if your mom did loose custody of you she might have to go through the court or DCFS to regain custody of you. From your post, it's hard to say what happened with your mom's custody rights over you. If you haven't already, you might ask your mom about whether or not she can work to regain custody of you. If you would like us to get a better idea of your situation so we can really help brainstorm your options, please call or chat us so we can better assist you: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

          It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed by your stepdad. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
          If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org.

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • I am 16 about to be 17 in about 6 months and I live with my aunt right now but I really want to go live with my mom but I dont know what to do. My dad is going to court to try and get me and my brother to live with him but I dont want to because I want to live with my mom. Sometimes I feels like my aunt hates me and she calls me names all the time and it puts alot of stress on me. When I turn 17 can I leave and go live with my mom?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. We're sorry to hear about your living situation, everyone deserves to feel safe and loved in their home. Unfortunately until you are a legal adult, 18 years old, your legal guardians make the decisions about where you live. If you can get permission from your parents to move in with your mom then you are able to move, but without permission your legal guardian has the right to file a runaway report if you leave home without permission. This is not a crime, but a status offense and whether or not it is enforced depends on the area you are in. The best way to find out how they are handled in your area is by calling the local police department with a hypothetical question. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to call our toll-free, 24 hour hotline! 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

          Best of luck!

          NRS

      • I'm 12 and want to live with my dad because he treats me better but my mom has full custody . Can I leave without permission and they both live in
        Virginia. What do I do

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a tricky situation wanting to live with your noncustodial dad. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

          Unfortunately, if you leave home without permission your mom can file you as a runaway with local police. If you are found you could be returned home. If you haven't already, you might talk to your dad about wanting to live with him. He might be able to make an agreement with your mom or go to court for partial custody of you. If you need help talking to your parents we have a conference call service if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we could have a mediator on the line.

          Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like additional help. We are always here for you.

          Best,

          NRS

      • I am 17 and my mom and dad are divorced.they have shared parenting with my dad being the residential parent for school purposes only.cauae I wanted to stay in my school.my dad and grandmother are horrible horrible people.ii have tried to kill myself 3 times.my mom is suppose to take me back on Sunday but I defuse to go.i will runaway.childrens services already have an open investigation on my dad.i just want out....what can I do if I runaway and refuse to go back to my dad's.i just wanna live with my mother and be safe please help..

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,
          Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in an intense situation and you’re concerned for your safety and well-being. It’s not easy to reach out for help when you’re feeling this way, we’re glad you did.

          It sounds like an abuse report has already been filed since there is an open investigation on your dad. If you feel you are in danger, you have the option of calling 911. You mentioned that you are with your mother right now, but she is returning you to your dad. This must be frustrating for you, but if you feel unsafe you can let that be known to authorities. As you are 17, in most states you’re considered a minor. You could run away, but in most cases you’ll be returned home to your legal guardian. If that person is your dad, that is who you’ll be returned to. If your mother shares custody, you could possibly be approved to stay with her. We don’t give legal advice here at NRS, but we can connect you with resources specifically in your area. You can also call your non-emergency police line in your area.

          If you are considering ending your life, you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you would like to discuss legal options in your area, or some possible shelter options if you decide to run away, reach out to us here at 1-800-786-2929. You don’t have to go through this alone. We also have a chat option on our website, www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

          Best,

          NRS

      • I want to live with my mom but my dad says I can’t make that choice because I’m sill a minor. But I’m 16 and have a better relationship with her. I’ve told him over and over how unhappy I am living with him and I have more support and friends where my mom lives but he says keeping me with him will make me successful. I really just think he’s being selfish because he lies to me about the court order and emotionally abuses me making me question who I am as a person. I’ve thought about running away but since Ive gotten back from summer vacation at my moms but, he’s taken my phone and makeup, has deleted all my social media accounts permanently and taken me out of public school so he can watch me all the time. I just miss my mom so much and I know she’s a good person but he’s always doubting her and I’m tired of hearing about it and I’m tired of him treating me like a little kid. I’ve never felt so alone and depressed than right now, my life was good before he took me from my mom and never sent me back home. I’ve been seeing what I can do legally so get out faster but I don’t know what to do and my mom doesn’t have money for another custody battle right now.

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your dad’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS
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