Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a lot of courage to reach out, and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We're sorry to hear about the trouble you've been having with your dad. Are there any other adults in your life, like another family member, that you can turn to to advocate for you or help with your situation? It can be difficult to have a conversation with your dad if you're unsure how he will react. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to him so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with your dad about not going when you don't want to. Our number is 1-800-786-2929. You can call us 24/7.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I would like to live with my dad because I do not feel happy or emotionally stable living with my mom. Should I call a social worker or talk to the court so that my dad will not get in trouble for letting me stay with him.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are here to help in any way we can.

It sounds like you don’t have a healthy living arrangement with your mom. That must be very frustrating to not be able to live where you know you’ll be happier. If your mom is your legal guardian, she does have the right to keep you in her custody. We are able to look up legal aid resources, they’re lawyers who help youth for free. They could help change your custody to your dad. We’re happy to connect you with those resources if you give us a call.

It may be helpful to talk to your dad about finding ways to live with him and tell him how you’re being treated at your moms, if you haven’t yet. These conversations can be really tough, and it is hard to feel heard. If you would like, we offer a conference calling service here at NRS. You would call into us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), talk to us a little bit about your situation, and then we would call out to your dad. After talking to her about what is going on, we would connect the call.
We act as a third party here to support you and make sure the conversation stays productive and compromise-driven.

If you would like to talk more about this or any other options you may have, feel free to call in to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, completely confidential helpline. Here to listen, here to help.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I just moved back in with my parents and we have been fighting constantly. I want to leave and go to my friends house for the night because I can’t be here there are too many triggers from past abuse and the fighting is relentless. I’m only 15 but they keep saying if I leave they will call the police. Legally would the police be able to bring me back to an environment that I feel unsafe in?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We’re sorry things have not worked out with your move back home. We are especially sorry to hear of the fighting and abuse. We appreciate you turning to us for guidance.

If you do not feel safe you should try to get yourself to a safe place. Your parents may call the police to report you as a runaway – we actually encourage parents to do this – but if a runaway/youth tell the police that they do not want to go back home, that they don’t feel safe there, the police are not supposed to bring the youth home. Unfortunately, this is not practiced by all police departments. If the abuse you referred to was investigated maybe you were assigned a counselor who might be able to call and ask for assistance? There are also complications for your friends if they allowed you to stay there, a situation called “harboring a runaway.”

If you would like to discuss your situation further do not hesitate to call or Chat with us. We’re glad you reached out to contact us. It can take a lot to ask for help when you are trying to figure out your options. We are here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

I have a 16 year old who is dating a 19 year old who have no place to stay.her father sent her in the 19 year old a bus ticket to stay with him ..how do I get my daughter back home

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot at home and we are here to help in whatever way that we can.

You mentioned that your 16 year old is leaving to stay with their 19 year old partner. It’s understandable that that would be difficult to go through and you want her to return. We are not legal experts, so we are unable to say exactly how to get them home, but it might be helpful to check out https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/ You can look up the age of minority in your state to determine if they would be considered a runaway.

If you were to file a runaway report and they were to be found the police typically would return the youth home to you. While we can’t guarantee what would happen it’s a status offense to run away, but not illegal. If you’d like more details on how to file a runaway report you can contact your local non-emergency number or Child Find (www.childfindofamerica.org). If you were to file a runaway report, though, and she was found and the father doesn’t have custody of them, there is a chance that that would be considered harboring a runaway and the dad could experience legal consequences.

Something you might also consider is through the National Runaway Safeline, we offer a family reunification program called Home Free. If you are interested in finding out more and whether or not your child would qualify, you can reach us at 1-800-786-2929.

Thank you again for reaching out. We wish you the best of luck and are available 24/7 and toll-free should you need any additional support.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

how to runaway from your dad.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need. We have a database of resources and if you’re able to call in, we can try to brainstorm with you and get a better idea of your situation. If you are thinking about running away and somewhere to stay, we can try to find a runaway shelter for you. Unfortunately, we are non-directive at NRS, and can't give out advice, but we're always here to talk and listen.

Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

Be well, NRS

[Guest]

I have been living with my aunt who has over the years become emotionally and physically abusive. My grandma has legal guardianship of me. Could I get in trouble for going to her house?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting us. It takes a lot of courage to share your personal story and to ask for help.

We're not legal experts, but if your grandma is your sole legal guardian she may be the person that you have to ask that question to. It is to our understanding that if there is a person that has custody over a minor then they have the right to live with that person or have an agreement to live with another family member. So like we stated before, it might be best to reach out to your grandmother and talk to her about what has been going on and why you wish to return to living with her. That is the only realistic way to get a strange answer if you can or can't go to live with her.

It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Moving out

So i live with my aunt and uncle. Last night i ran away to live with my dad. I am 17 and will be 18 in 3 months. My aunt is constantly yelling at me and hitting me with a leather belt and not just on the butt its been on my legs, on my arms,and on my back. We got in a physical altercation last Sunday just random because she came to my room and confronted me and asked me where my phone was well she bought me a phone and took it away,thats fair, then she took my phone that i bought and was paying on and then i bought this phone and she tried to take it from me which im also paying on. Anyways she got that belt and started hitting me every where but my face, neck and butt but it was every where else. During the argument i tried to get her off me and she started to put her hand around my neck and i went off. I didnt hit her because i knew she would potentially press charges but she is the only one who has guardianship over me not her husband. I am not going back home bc i can live with my dad and his fiancee ..how do i need to go about it?

[ccsmod5]

Hi, there,
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing some of what's been going on. It's absolutely not okay that your aunt would treat you that way; you never deserve to be hit, choked, or threatened. It's completely understandable that you left that situation and we really hope you feel safe with your father. You deserve to feel safe and supported. You ask how you need to go about this; we can share general information, but keep in mind we are not legal experts. It sounds like you're pretty close to turning 18. Technically, your aunt would have the right to file a runaway report and ask the police to bring you home; in practice, we most often see that people your age aren't forced to go home, especially when there was physical abuse at home and because you're with your dad. In short: you may not have to go home or necessarily "do" anything. If you felt comfortable doing so, you do have the right to file an abuse report with child protective services. If you're interested in doing that or curious about what might happen if you do file an abuse repot, a great resource is the National Child Abuse Hotline. Their number is 1-800-422-4453.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

what do I do if my dad pulls me by my hair yells at me than fits me and kiks me in the head and tells me not to say anything to anyone

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out. It is never okay for a parent to hurt or kick their child, no matter what. What you’re describing is abuse and that’s against the law. You have the right to report this abuse at any time. You can tell a teacher at school (they are required to report suspected abuse to the authorities), calling the police, or calling the abuse reporting hotline in your state. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a 24/7 anonymous hotline is a great resource for talking about how reporting works, and they can connect you to the right contacts in your area. If you ever feel like you’re in danger or you are afraid your dad will hurt you again, please call 911. You deserve to feel safe and the police are there to protect you.
We at NRS are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk more or brainstorm other options.

[Guest]

I live with my aunt and I'm 16 and my dad makes me go to his house on the weekends and in tired of going can I tell him I don't want to and get the law involved cause in ga when you turn 16 you can move out if you want to but I'm just tired of not having any freedoms on the weekends and we always get in big arguments in just tired of all the frustration going on I need a response fast.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. To feel controlled and restricted in any way must not feel good at all. Hopefully by supporting you there are other that are reading through this thread that can relate can feel helped as well.

Now as you have probably read in other post that we aren’t legal experts here and so what we say isn’t always what is going to happen. It’s unclear whether your father has custody over you and is just allowing you to live at your aunts throughout the week or if both your father and aunt share custody and there was a court agreement where you have to visit your father on the weekend. Either way you might have to talk to your aunt about your options and how you might be able to legally stop going to your father’s house on the weekends. You can also reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about leaving home at 16 years old and what would could happen at that point.

Hope that helps and best of luck!

[Guest]

Help!

So my family in particularly my mom and step-dad keep saying i'm stealing from them but i'm not. My teachers are calling my parents and telling them that I haven't been doing my homework but I am. My life isn't fair so when my brother washes the dishes I have to put them up but when I wash the dishes I still have to put them up. I don't think its fair and I think my brother should put them up. But of course my parents are unfair. I'm thinking about running away to my friends house or just live on the streets. What do you think I should do? Should I run away?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Me and my dad don't get along. I want to live with my mom who lives in a different state. I feel depressed at my dad’s, he is always yelling and cussing at me about school and doesn't see that I'm trying. I have a stronger relationship with my mom, I can talk to her better and we trust each other more. She doesn't tell me the things my dad says and she sees when I'm stressed out and when I am trying to do better. My dad is too strict. He won't let me live with my mom because he thinks she amounts to nothing and he thinks I will amount to nothing if I live with her but this isn't true. My mom encourages me to do better just like my dad but she isn't as hard and mean about it. She doesn't make me feel like ******** like he does. When I get in trouble outside of school my dad will get the school involved which doesn't help benefit me at all it just gives the principals and teachers negative opinions about me.

[Guest]

Hello I was wondering im gonna be 18 in 3 months and I want to move with my mom but my dad has custudy can I still move

[ccsmod4]

Reply:Me and my dad don't get a long.

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like things are pretty rough at home living with your dad.
It is unfortunate that he chooses to yell and cuss at you instead of finding a better way to communicate.
He might find that you are an incredible person trying to do better at things. You don’t deserve that type of behavior from him. On the other hand it does sound like you and your mother have a great relationship and she supports your efforts to do better in school and individually.

It’s good that you have a comfort zone you can turn to when things are going well and when they are not. There may be some options to explore with getting better communication with your father but we understand if it might be quite a challenge. It might even take considering some form of counseling for the two of you.
Try to think about the things that you can control within yourself. You mentioned something about getting into trouble outside of school. Well what can you do to avoid getting into trouble?
This may be one way of keeping things peaceful for you. We understand that it won’t be easy but at least it’s something to think about. You know more about your situation than anyone so you are welcome to contact us and talk about it and explore some options.

We are here to listen and here to help.
If you would like to speak more on your situation contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org
You did a great job reaching out today. Good for you.

We hope that things get better for you.

Take care,
NRS


We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[ccsmod4]

Reply:Hello I was wondering

Hi,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

Once you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Something to remember; moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. We understand you want to move in with your mom but it’s good to at least consider other options in case things don’t go as planned.

Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses.
It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave.
There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living.

We are here to listen and help however we can.
If you have more questions or would like to talk more about your situation contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org (Live Chat).

Good luck and take care,
NRS


We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us