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Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • #76
    I it won't if I run away to my father I'm put under a lot of emotional stress I'm 15 my mother try to fus an yell for no resund . I just want to move with my father and be happy but I feel like I'm being chained up an I don't want to stay here no more I get sad every time I'm put under prusser an I don't like it I cry some times.

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us to help you decide about this situation. It sounds like you’re going through a lot at home, are feeling chained up, and are thinking of leaving to live with your dad. This is surely a difficult time for you, and we’re sure you’ve been enduring a lot. We're sorry to hear you're so upset and feel so pressured about your living situation. We can help you by listening to your story and your experiences, and providing support. We also can help you figure out a safety plan in case you decide to leave, and we can provide general legal information about running away. We hope that this situation becomes better and that you reach out to us if you think our services could help.

      Thanks so much for reaching out to us. If you have any questions or want to talk more, please call us at 1-800-786-2929.

      Best,
      NRS

  • #77
    I am a divorced mother with boys 9 and 15. The father is alcoholic regularly abuses us emotionally n the style of the move Gas lighter aka narcissistic psychological abuse (google it). The father literally stole custody and my 15 year old has been "running away" to me for 3 years. Last week my 15 year insisted he spend his birthday with me since his dad has a history of getting drunk on holidays. He ran to me the day before. He checked in with his Dad but next day on his birthday his Dad listed him as a runaway that morning but knew he was with me. He was just angry. Then he warned me that evening. The next morning he hacked my son’s snapchat account and led police to us and got us both arrested. I now face two felony charges and have been cut off from both boys. The law and CPS have never validated psychological abuse. And often side with the abuser who tends to be charismatic and smart. I get so mad because I think kids often run from emotionally abusive parents and never get in trouble for being abusive in that way. I have always put myself in harm’s way to defend my son’s right to be with a loving parent. But I’m being severely punished. It seems impossible to find a judge, the police, or CPS person who will listen and agree that it’s ok to run away from parents who are too mean. Because you have to show they are too mean in an abusive way. It’s not illegal to be a mean jerk. That’s the problem. It’s a really tough problem. If you defy authority and can’t convince police why its abuse...they won’t be nice. Your abusive parent that you ran away from will never change and be angry and be even meaner. They always say the parent isn’t abusive they are just setting family rules and enforcing them. But know this...very few cops or courts will validate your complaints. I sacrifice my reputation and credibility so they can run away to me because I don’t have a solution or answer. But learn from my experiences. Understand the beast, follow your heart and be ready for a war. And talk about what’s happening. Write down things the parent or Ex did and keep it safe. That is your proof. You must figure out how to prove it or explain it to police or therapists or schools. But make your feelings heard. It’s ok to want love and it’s good to stand up for yourself. But know it won’t be easy. I hope this helps someone...
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-05-2018, 06:58 AM.

    Comment


    • #78
      Reply: I am a divorced mother with boys 9 and 15.


      Hi,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

      It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
      We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling.
      You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.
      No one deserves to be abused.
      NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

      Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time.
      We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Comment


      • #79
        Am I allowed to have a friend and their parents take me home if I feel threatened by my Mom (threatened to throw me out of the car and didn’t care if a predator got me, threatened to hit me if I didn’t stop screaming she’d hit me, and she’d call the police on my supposed self harm), and if my Dad (who was out of the state), gives me permission to leave if I can get a ride home? I’m a minor and my Mom said I couldn’t leave since she didn’t give me permission. I know she can report me as a runaway, but can she call the police for my friends parents for driving me home even though my Dad gave me permission? I was wondering if something like this were to happen again, would I be able to run to a friends house or would they get in trouble too?

        Comment


        • #80
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and support.

          We're sorry to hear about what happened and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your household. We are not legal experts, but it would depend on who has custody of you and other factors like that. If your mom has full custody and you ran away, you could be returned home and there could be legal consequences for your dad and for your friend's parents for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want to talk to someone more about your situation, we can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. We could discuss other options you may have like child abuse reporting or emancipation. Let us know how we can best help.

          Stay safe,

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          Comment


          • #81
            I am currently living with my dad and my step mom. I don't like it there my step mom controls everything I do and tells me she doesn't care what my dad says. And he's always at work so he just goes along with it. I recently found out my grandmother has custody of me but she let me live with my dad .If I was to tell my parents I was moving out and went and lived with my grandmother would I get in any trouble or would I be able to actually live with my grandmother??

            Comment


            • #82
              Hi there,

              Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

              We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking you would be able to live with whomever has custody over you. If that is your grandmother, then she would have the information to give you about whether or not you would be able to live with her or not. If you want help having that conversation with her or want to talk about other options, give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.

              Good luck,

              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

              Comment


              • #83
                My dad want let my mom get her 30 days out of the summer and she is clean and sober and even has her own house. The house I stay in is a trailer and my mom has a better house. I feel safer at my mom's but not at my dad's. What do I do.

                Comment


                • ccsmod10
                  ccsmod10 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello and thank you for contacting us at NRS!

                  Although we try to help everyone the best we can, we are limited to how much advice we can give. We are not legal experts so please do not take this as legal advice. It sounds like you are trying to move in with mother because you are having issues at home with your father. We commend you for speaking up. It isn’t an easy thing to do.

                  We are not sure what your custody status is. If both your parents have legal custody over you or visitation periods, then it might safe to go with your mom. However, if this is not the case, your father would be able to make a report and file charges against your mother. She may also be charged with harboring a run away. We have heard of judges taking the child’s opinion/account into consideration but since we’re not legal experts we offer to look for legal aid resources. Legal aid resources are lawyers that help youth for free in court. If you’re able to call into our safeline we’re more than happy to connect you with those resources.

                  We hope that has helped. Again, we are not legal experts, so please keep that in mind. Above all, we wish that you stay safe and should you have any more questions, please feel free to call us at our Safeline 1-800-RUNAWAY.

                  Know that you are not alone. Someone is always here to help. We wish you the best of luck!

              • #84
                Please help..
                Im 15 and i live with my mother. I absolutely hate it here im always being yelled at, being criticized, or just being put down all over even the smallest things. Im homeschooled atm and have NO friends. I want to live with my dad and go to public school. I have talked to him about it andhe says i can live with him. I believe my mom has full custody and my dad just has visitation rights. So what would i have to do to live with him? Will it cost a lot for him to try to gain custody? If i go onthe planned visit and just refuse to go back to my moms will he get in trouble? I have no idea what to do...

                Comment


                • ccsmod2
                  ccsmod2 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to here that you are having trouble at home. It sounds like you are thinking about living with your dad instead. We are not legal experts so we cannot say for sure what you could do. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to contact to get information on how to transfer custody. Your dad could contact a lawyer to see what options he can for getting full custody. You could also ask your dad if he could talk to your mom about you the possibility of living with him. If you have any questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

              • #85
                i am 16 years old and my mom and dad were never married when i was about 13 she beat me multiple times leaving all kinds of scars in different places on my body my dad found out and reported to cps and i was afraod to go home so he contacted cps to tell them and they allowed me to stay with him as a safety plan until they complete their investigation and until the court date at court no one let me talk and cps found that their was no recent abuse so they sent me back home i want to live with my dad and he wants me too every since i came back home , i have been a victim of physical and emotional abuse and she makes me clean everything she talks about how im dumb and ungrateful to her friends as they visit or if they are on the phone it hurts me so bad she does not even know that i have this phone and she has stopped my sister from coming over to check on me she is narcissistic and i cant live with her i am depressed , unloved , and miserable

                Comment


                • ccsmod11
                  ccsmod11 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thanks for reaching out to us, which we recognize can be very hard to do, but we're glad you did since we're here to help. It sounds like you're going through an incredibly hard situation, and can't imagine exactly how that's making you feel.
                  We want you to know that it's just never ok to be hurt, and no child deserves that, no matter what you've done. We are here 24/7 on our crisis line if you would ever like to talk at 1-800-786-2929.

                  In terms of living with your dad, please keep in mind we are not legal experts, and it's hard for us to give options without knowing the custody arrangement with your mom. From a running away standpoint, because you are 16 and if you did runaway to your dad's, your mother may have the right to report it to the police and have you returned. Potentially if you did stay with your dad and he called the local police, it's possible they would allow you to stay, but we can't really say how the police would respond. We could provide you some legal resources, but without knowing where you are, we aren't able to provide them. If you call in, we could help with that.

                  Another option might be to have your dad talk more with your mom, about how you're feeling, but understand that we don't know the relationship with your parents, but it's an option. You mentioned your mom has also stopped your sister from visiting. If there is another adult that knows your mom, maybe that's an option too for them to talk to her. If there are other friends to talk to, that might be an option too, or a counselor at school. These are all options that might provide some support. If you call into us, we could also provide some potential counseling resources to get you to a better place.

                  Keep in mind sometimes it can really help too to take your mind off things with things like music, sports, and movies.

                  Hopefully we've provided some good information. Please do call us at the number mentioned earlier if we can provide any other assistance. We're here to listen. Here to help. Best of luck!

              • #86
                My mom has full custody of me but she is oppressing, overprotective, she is always yelling at me and she makes me be part of her religion when I don't to want to. And her parents are always criticizing me even tho I try to do everything right I've been
                thinking about runing away with my dad. He is supporting and loving and I'm thinking about running away. Or telling the cops that I want to move out what do I do.

                Comment


                • ccsmod0
                  ccsmod0 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello,
                  Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. After reading your posting it sound like you are in a situation similar to other users. We have attached a post and an NRS reply that we think might be able to help you.
                  Again thank you for reaching out. If you have any more questions please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
                  Originally posted by Guest View Post
                  my mom has full custody of me and my dad lives in california. is it legal for me ,age 12, to move in with him.

                  Hello –

                  Thanks for reaching out with your questions and concerns. It sounds like you have made up your mind on moving in with your dad but you’re not sure how to convince your mom.

                  If your mom has full custody over you, she could take legal action against your father if you leave without her permission. We have a database and can look for legal aid resources, they would be able to find ways for you to live with your dad.

                  It’s understandable that you are not sure how to approach this issue with your mom. Sometimes it may be helpful to think about different ways to reach out like writing her a letter. Another option you could consider is something we have called a parent conference call. If you would like to have a conversation with your mom you can always call us and we could mediate a conversation between the two of you.

                  If you would like to talk more about your options or would like to discuss this situation more in depth you can call us at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Our services are confidential and anonymous and there is always someone here to listen and here to help. Take care.

              • #87
                Can I runaway to my dad in Florida without him getting in legal trouble?

                i live in Arkansas with my bipolar mother and stepdad that continues to drink heavily. I and constantly being put down, threatened, and hit (with crap like hangers) continuously. I can’t do this anymore. I am 14. If there is any other info you need ask.
                My dad said he never signed anything like adoption papers for my step dad to adopt me, but I need to make sure. He is willing to come get me and get a lawyer if needed.

                Comment


                • #88

                  Hi there,

                  Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

                  We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. You mentioned experiencing emotional and physical abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. They also would be able to answer questions about custody and possibly help you switch custody to your biological father.

                  We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your dad or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. Having abuse reports on file or your dad getting help from a lawyer could change that. The way to get the best information would be to reach out to Child Help or to legal aid with the help of your dad.

                  If you need help going through these options, we can be reached at 1-800-786-2929. Don't hesitate to give us a call.

                  NRS


                  Last edited by ccsmod1; 06-18-2018, 12:13 AM.
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                  Comment


                  • #89
                    Can I runaway to my dad in Florida without him getting in legal trouble?




                    i live in Arkansas with my bipolar mother and stepdad that continues to drink heavily. I and constantly being put down, threatened, and hit (with crap like hangers) continuously. I can’t do this anymore. I am 14. If there is any other info you need ask.

                    My dad said he never signed anything like adoption papers for my step dad to adopt me, but I need to make sure. He is willing to come get me and get a lawyer if needed.

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod15
                      ccsmod15 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hi, thanks for posting. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation with your mom and stepdad.
                      You certainly do not deserve t be hit, threatened or put down. Living with a mother who has bipolar and a stepdad who drinks a lot must be really difficult!

                      There is ALA-TEEN which helps support teenagers who are exposed to family members who drink heavily. Perhaps finding a meeting near you could be helpful: https://al-anon.org/for-members/grou...urces/alateen/

                      Child Help is the national child abuse hotline and they can give you information about filing an abuse report: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org. If you would like to, we can also conference call with you to make a report.

                      You also mentioned your dad getting a lawyer. That may be helpful. If he gets custody, you could legally go live with him.

                      We are here 24/7 to support you: call us anytime 1-800-786-2929.
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