Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

[Guest]

hello i was taken from my real mother 7 years ago and adopted becuse of lies and was wondering if she got a lawyer and fight for me to live with her again my adopted parents use me for the goverment check they get for having me there they say they dont care about it but they always fight over who is getting it becuse they ar getting a divorce. they both want me to go with them but i dont want to go with either of them but instrat go andf live with my real mother she has said multipule timea that they can keep the check and let her have her kids im 16 and wanting to leave my adopted father wants me to start paying rent to live there becuse his dad and mom live across the street and want the check too my adopted mother is just always mean and has made some racist things about me since i am half mexican and half white she has said stupid mexican and wetback multiple times. my adopted dads son is always mean to me and calls me racist names too plz help i want to get out of this house and away from these people!!! i was taken from my mom becuse of lies plz help

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out! Your living situation sounds super tough and we are here to help!
It is so difficult that you were taken away from your biological mom based on lies and now your adopted family is being mean and saying racist things to you. You do not deserve to be called racist names at all!
We are not legal experts, but there may be some legal things your mom can do to get custody back. If you call or live chat us and let us know what city and state you are located in, we can look up some local legal aid for you.
It sounds very unfair that your adopted family seems to only want you for the check and now expects you to pay rent as well.
Perhaps you can talk to your case worker or an adult at school and they can help you figure out some options as well!
We are here 24/7 by phone and every day on our website’s live chat: 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), 1800runaway.org, click the “chat button” at the top when it is open!
Call us anytime if you would like to discuss your situation further or brainstorm more ideas! You are so strong for dealing with all these tough situations!

[Guest]

I'm going to be 18 in February and I plan on moving out. My situation at home is super difficult and stressful. I graduate high school this year and I literally can't stay in my own home anymore because of the way my mom is. I told her about my plans of moving out in February and she's threatened me with suicide, calling the cops, fighting me and saying that she is still somewhat responsible for me since I'm still going to be attending school. I have a great job and I have a set place to move into and have saved money since I knew I wanted to leave from my home. I also have a way to get to school and back and still keep my job. I just wanted to know If my mom can do all of that? Call the cops and if she is still responsible for me because of school even though I am going to be 18, which is the legal age of an adult.

[ccsmod16]

Hi, thanks for reaching out! You home life sounds super stressful and difficult. We are glad you reached out tonight! It sounds like you have really thought this out and made a plan for when you turn 18, which is really smart and organized of you! In most states, 18 is the age of adulthood when you can move out, however, even if you live in a state where 18 is considered an adult, the school system may still require some things that need a parent signature. The best way to find out if that is true is to contact the school district directly. Maybe you can talk to a counselor or your principal as a first step? There is also something called the McKinney-Vento Act which is in place to ensure all homeless and runaway youth have the right to education. The liaison in your area may be able to answer questions about continuing schooling when not living with your parents too. If you call or live chat us and share what city and state you are in, we can give you contact information for a liaison in your area.
However, as far as we are aware, once you are 18, your mom cannot call the police and try to keep you in the home against your will. We want you to know you are not responsible for other people’s emotions; like your mom threatening suicide. It is unfair that she puts that weight on you, and no matter what decision your mom makes, it is not by your fault or doing. If you want to talk about this pressure your mom puts on you, we are here 24/7 by phone (1-800-786-2929) and daily on live chat. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or visit their website: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They can offer better information on the topic of suicide, even if you are not the one who is suicidal. You may consider also finding a therapist to talk to. You can find one in your area at samhsa.gov or call us and we can look up some in your area that can be accessible and affordable for you! There is also a Crisis line via text at 741-741. You can text with a trained counselor 24/7 about anything at all! We want you to feel supported!
If you ever feel physically in danger (like if your mom threatens to hurt you or fight you), we encourage you to call 911 and seek emergency services immediately.
We are glad you reached out for help, as this situation sounds really difficult and you do not need to handle it alone! You are so strong! We are always here, please call anytime! 1-800-786-2929.

[Guest]

my mom has full custody of me and my dad lives in california. is it legal for me ,age 12, to move in with him.

[ccsmod10]

Hello –

Thanks for reaching out with your questions and concerns. It sounds like you have made up your mind on moving in with your dad but you’re not sure how to convince your mom.

If your mom has full custody over you, she could take legal action against your father if you leave without her permission. We have a database and can look for legal aid resources, they would be able to find ways for you to live with your dad.

It’s understandable that you are not sure how to approach this issue with your mom. Sometimes it may be helpful to think about different ways to reach out like writing her a letter. Another option you could consider is something we have called a parent conference call. If you would like to have a conversation with your mom you can always call us and we could mediate a conversation between the two of you.

If you would like to talk more about your options or would like to discuss this situation more in depth you can call us at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Our services are confidential and anonymous and there is always someone here to listen and here to help. Take care.

National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

[Guest]

My dad has custody of me and I get to see my mother every other weekend I was wondering if I told my father that I was going to my mother's house whenever I wanted if he could stop me I am 14 and I live in wyoming I have been loomiing for answers but I haven't found any also if I went to my mom's whenever I wanted and my father called the police on me would they be able to remove me or could I stay since its my decision and nobody else's. I recently contacted a local attorney and asked him all he had to say is that I have no day in where I live but I can put in a suggestion if my parents ever went to court. I really just want to see my mother more and I would really like some help I'm always depressed because I'm always wanting to see her more even while writing this I am tearing up cause it's hard to talk about and I know this is long but I just want an answer that will benefit my runaway without my mother getting in trouble.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you are depressed from not being able to see your mother as often as you would like to. We are not legal experts, so we cannot give you direct answers. Generally speaking, since you are a minor and your father has custody of you, you may only be able to see your mother with his consent. You could try talking to your father about the fact that you would like to see your mother more, he may be willing to compromise. Family therapy may help as well. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

Moms abusing me a lot

i can’t support my mom beacuse we are always arguing
about nothing she always calls me a failure and says that my sister is better at everything she says that I look like a 8 year old child when I’m actually 13 I want to go with my dad but the problem is that mom and me and my sister moved to Mexico and I want to go back with my dad because I can’t support this anymore I’ve even thought of ending my life because of this situation

so what can I do about this

[ccsmod15]

Hello, thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of what is going on. We know that is a really scary thing to do so you should be proud of yourself!
You do not deserve any type of abuse or to be called a failure. NRS is based in the USA so our resources and knowledge are limited to the U.S. It sounds like your mom has full custody of you and your sister but that you are wanting to move back with your dad. Talking to your dad about this is one option if you have not done so already! He may be able to petition the court to get visitation or custody, especially if there is abuse going on. You may also want to talk to another adult you trust about the abuse: a teacher, family member, neighbor. They may be able to help keep you safe.
Like we said, our resources are within the United States and we are not sure if you can call a U.S. number. Child Help is the national child abuse hotline here in the US and can help answer questions about abuse and getting custody transferred: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.
You also mentioned wanting to take your life which is serious and very scary! It makes sense you do not want to live with your mom and be abused any longer. We did find a phone number for a suicide hotline in Mexico: 525-510-2550. You can call them when you are in crisis and want to talk about feeling so depressed and suicidal. If you are ever in immediate danger from abuse or feeling suicidal and feel like you may act immediately you can always call 911 too and a police or ambulance will come to make sure you are okay.
Thanks again for being brave and reaching out! Best of luck! And remember, you do not deserve abuse.

[Guest]

im dopted at 14 and my new parent are not the nice people and my birth mum is sober but i dont want to leave the love of my life
thx
treze

[ccsmod3]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are going through a tough time. We hope to be able to help you in any way we can.

You said you hate your adoptive family. That must be really difficult to feel like you don't have a positive relationship in your home. While we don't know much about your particular situation, when things are tough at home, it might be useful to confide in someone about what is going on. Some people find it helpful to talk to friends, a trusted adult, a school counselor, or a relative.

If you feel like you would like to have a conversation with your adoptive parents about how you've been feeling and to maybe find solutions or a compromise to your troubles at home, we offer a conference call service here at NRS. To use this service, you would call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we would talk a little more about your situation, and then we would call out to your parent/guardian. We would talk with them to see what they think has been going on, and then we would connect the calls to all talk together. We stay on the line as an extra measure of support to you and to ensure the conversation stays productive and positive.

You mentioned recently talking to your birth mum. That is great news that she is sober! If you do decide to run away to her or anywhere else, here is some information that our callers find useful. Running away is not illegal, it is just something that you cannot do because of your age. Should the police find you, their goal would be to return you to your home. However, whoever you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway. This does not always happen, and we are not legal experts, but this is information that may just be good for you to know. Since you are 14, you are also still obligated by law to go to school, and skipping school is called "truancy". Before you runaway, you may want to consider what you would want to do to continue going to school.

It's great that you have a boyfriend and group of friends that you like and do not want to leave behind. Running away is a very difficult decision, and while we cannot make your choice for you, hopefully we have given you some things to think about and help you come to your own decision. If you would like to explore these or any other options further, please feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, toll-free safeline. Here to listen, here to help.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 12 years old ..I am on therapy right now my dad has no parenting time and I haven’t seen him since 2015 ..My mom was beaten up almost every day I saw all mentally physically even with me ..I am terrified of him i throw up nose bleeds can’t sleep can’t eat just thinking about him trying to see me ..How many people do i have to talk to so they can see he hurts me? I want to run away die my mom can only do but so much I love my mom and she has been here for me but why can’t the courts realize i’m staying facts and he is dangerous to me

[ccsmod9]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for telling us your story today, it sounds like things are really hard for you and your mother. We want you to know that we think you’re really brave for coming to us today and for standing up for yourself and your mother. That takes courage. Your situation sounds so hard.
It sounds like home was a very dangerous situation for you and your mother. From what we can tell, it seems like your father has been removed from the home and you’re worried about having to see him again. That sounds like something you may want to express to the social worker or case worker that is involved with your family’s case. It is understandable that you’d be terrified of such a person who has caused so much damage.
It sounds like you’re in therapy. That can be a great way to deal with the problems your father has caused but it may be important to recognize that it can take time before you’re able to heal. Talking about it can certainly help and we want you to know that you’re welcome to do that anytime here. We’re available 24/7 and are confidential. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a Live Chat right here on our website if you’re nervous about speaking on the phone. Another useful number for your situation is the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (www.thehotline.org). Since you mentioned suicidal thoughts, www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a helpful organization to help you when you’re feeling like you might want to hurt yourself.
You’re so strong for enduring all of this abuse and still pushing for your mental health. That takes a lot of strength and determination. We really admire that you’re sticking up for your mother too. We want to encourage you to talk to her, if you’re comfortable, or your therapist, a trusted friend or family member can also be helpful.

All the best to you and your family,
NRS

[Guest]

My mom and I experience domestic abuse in home ..my dads parenting time has been suspended since 2015 ..I am in therapy since 2015..I am 12 terrified of him and i will not comply with any parental visits or reunification therapy ..my mom has called police and therapist i lock myself in room jump out windows I don’t know how many people i have to talk to about this man ..I am terrified of him i get nose bleeds can’t eat sleep .. he has done so much damage i can’t even see him hear him i go into crisis i want to die ...I wish he would just leave me alone ..why isn’t anyone listening to me ?????

[ccsmod9]

Hello There,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
It looks like you have contacted NRS today in the same forum with the same issue. Please refer to our response above. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I live with my mom and my step dad and they are like the worst parents ever and they had recently called the cops on me and they will most likely be taking me to court. I have also been talking to my real dad and he wants me to move in with him and my mom said no that she won't allow it. Would it be illegal for me to move in with him at 17 when my mom has custody of me in NH?

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like your mom and step dad are giving you a hard time and making your life difficult by trying to take you to court. We’re sorry to hear that your familial situation has gotten to this point, but we hope we can help.

We’re glad your real dad has been a source of support for you in this time of need. We’re glad he suggested you move in with him, as it sounds like you would feel safer/more comfortable there than where you are now. We however are not legal experts and cannot answer your question about leaving home with 100% certainty. We can provide general information about runaway laws that may or may not apply in your state.

Generally, if someone under 18 leaves home without parental permission, their guardians can report them as a runaway to police, who then are supposed to track down the youth and return them home. If the youth stays with an adult during their time as a runaway, that person may be charged with harboring a runaway, which can be punishable by jail time. While this charge is relatively uncommon, your mother may be able to motivate the police in your area to file such charges on your dad. Your father may also face greater legal consequences if he violates the terms of his custody by harboring you. Runaway youth are usually not subject to arrest, as running away is usually considered a status offense, which is less severe than a criminal offense. We can help you talk to your local non-emergency police if you want more specific information about the consequences of your suggested plan. Just call us at 1-800-786-2929.

Hopefully this helped. If not, call us any time. We’re here 24/7.

-NRS

We wish you the best of luck and we hope this response was helpful. We encourage you to give your honest feedback of our services at https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think . Stay safe!

[Guest]

Hello , my moms forcing me against my will to move with my father whom I barely even know . He’s not even on my birth cirtifucate . I want to stay with my grandfather who is totally fine with me staying by the way . But my mom still says no . She’s using me as a pon to get bck at my grandfather for kicking her out . What should I do ?

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a stressful situation right now with your mom. We are not legal experts by any means, but generally speaking if your mom is your legal guardian then she has the final say in where you will live. However, there are some options that you might consider. The first option is having a conversation with your mom about how you feel about moving in with your dad and asking her to reconsider. If you need help talking to her, we do offer a conference call service where one of our liners can facilitate a call with your mom. We’ll do our best to advocate for you and keep the conversation fair. Another option that you might consider is asking your grandfather to file for custody of you. He would need to do so through a family lawyer.
Thank you again for reaching out. We wish you the best of luck and we hope this was helpful. If you have a minute, please consider taking the time to fill out this quick survey of our forum services: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think . If you’d like to speak more specifically about your situation, please feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1-800-786-2929.

[Guest]

I am a 17-year-old man and I am currently on probation I am living with my uncle and aunt and I do not want to live with them anymore can I live with my father now that I’m 17 whose rights were taken away when I was little even though I seen him throughout my whole life someone please answer my question

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out, it shows that you are very resourceful and we know it is not always an easy thing to do. It sounds like it would be frustrating to live with your aunt and uncle when you would rather be living with your father.

We are not legal experts, so we do not have a lot of information about what your options are in this case. However, if you call us we can give you some numbers for legal aid resources. We can also call out with you to the police so that you can ask them questions and have us as a mediator on your side helping make sure your questions get answered.

Again, we appreciate you reaching out to us and hope that this is helpful. If you decide to call us, you can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, and we are here 24 hours a day. We would be more than happy to help you through any issues you are facing and talk to you about your options.

Best of Luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I do not want to live with my mom and I will runaway but my dad is holding me and my mom won't let me live with him she does drugs and we aruge over anything and everything I dont know what to do help me PLEASE

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. We appreciate you contacting us in your time of need, it was very brave of you.
It sounds like your mom hasn’t been treating you very well at home and has been doing drugs at home, which isn’t fair for you and must be really stressful on you. You should have a say when it comes to which parent you’re going to live with. You never deserve to feel unsafe at home, if you ever think that your safety is at risk, you can always call 911 or CPS. If your mom has custody, being your legal guardian, he is the only one who can give you permission to live elsewhere. So that means that if you did leave to live with your dad, without her permission, she could report you two as a runaway. If the police find you, they’d return you to your custodial parent. You could tell them that home isn’t a safe place for you and your mom does drugs, the police would need to investigate your mom before bringing you back.

We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you. Or we can try to get her to agree to let you and your sister to live with your dad. Sometimes just being able to talk can be a way to open up the lines of communication, and see the best way that everyone can compromise. You are also always able to report your mom to CPS, or staff at school.

We have heard in some cases, where the judge will listen to the child’s input on which parent they would rather live with. You may want to ask your dad about that. We also have a database of legal aid resources that help youth for free. If you wanted us to connect you with those resources, don’t hesitate call into our safeline.

We hope our response is helpful. In addition, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Make a lot of mistakes.

I am 17 a junior in high school and live with my mom and stepdad and brother in the state if Virginia and i keep making a lot of stupid mistakes that hurts my family and mainly breaking my moms heart I don't want to hurt her anymore. Recently I made another stupid decision(s) of getting into trouble with school again and right now the school board is deciding to ex-spell me or keep me in and send me to renaissance for two weeks for the minimum punishment. I am deciding either to run away to my dads house across the country in the state of Washington or not but I feel like if I do run away I'll hurt my mom even more then I already have. I had to watch my mother cry in front of me while her and my stepdad scolded me. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to watch and listen to was her crying she told me today that I broke her heart that I shattered it. While I was in my room I over heard them and my mom blaming herself for everything bad i have ever done she was asking where did she go wrong in life and hearing that just killed me on the inside. I don't learn from my mistakes I just got off of being suspended for five days outside of school as soon as i got back I want and did the very same thing i just got into trouble for. I'm not allowed at school tomorrow and then I will find out what the school board has planned for me.

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a stressful situation and that you love your mom a lot. We are a non-directive organization, so we can’t give you advice, but we can talk through some of your options. If any of this is unclear and you’d like to talk more specifically, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
From your post, it sounds like you’re aware that you’ve made some mistakes and you’re aware of how it impacts your mom. If you run away, there is the possibility that you might hurt your mom again and it sounds like you don’t want to do that. (We should also mention that if you leave without permission, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to find you, you’ll end up right back where you are.) There are a couple options you could consider. First, it sounds like your mom is really important to you and that you both really care about each other. If there’s something going on in your life that’s factoring into your mistakes, your mom might want to talk about it to see if there’s a way she can support you better. Or perhaps your current schooling situation isn’t working for you and you’d like to think about alternatives. In any case, it might not hurt to talk about it with her. It can be really hard having that conversation, so you might consider having another adult there while you talk with your mom like a therapist or a guidance counselor. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate a conference call so feel free to give us a call if you need help having a calm, productive conversation.
You also mentioned staying with your dad. If you think this is an option for you, you might consider talking to your mom about moving in with your dad.
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe!

[Guest]

Hey I'm 16 I have ranaway and now my adopted patents are looking for me and I ranaway because my adopted patents would hurt and mess with my head and so I ranaway but I don't want to go back to them and I have no proof caus they took everything away from me and so I ranaway is there anything I can do to make it to where I don't have to go back to them and changed to new parents

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about what you were facing at home and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Unfortunately we are not legal experts but speaking generally because you are a minor, if the police find you you could be returned home. If you are on the streets and you need helping finding shelter, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or to type in your address to nationasafeplace.org to find the nearest safe place to you. You also could reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 to ask about child abuse reporting or your rights as a minor and the possibility of having custody switched over to someone else. Let us know if you need help walking through this option or just need someone to talk to.

Stay safe,

NRS