Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

[Guest]

can i runaway to my dads house?
i live with my mom and her boyfriend that is a cop and have been living with them for most of my life now and i just hate living here because im home alone all day and cant go anywhere and im always being told to do things around the house or doing things for neighbors and dont even get paid which is fine but even after all the things i do for them its just not fair. i dont get to see my dad as much as id like to because im supposed to see him every other weekend but that rarely happens now. every time i ask to ask to see my dad or girlfriend or anything leaving home they have now recently have been ignoring me and i hate it because after days pass or the day of i have to ask again and most of the time is a no. i always have to convince her and which i shouldnt have to because i do so much that i deserve it. i hardly get any human interaction here in this home other than sometimes my friends but they just give me more reasons to not talk to them because of the things they do and say. like the cop one time at least that i know of call my dad names that were unacceptable because thats coming from a cop that has never met or spoke to my dad before and i just want to leave.

[ccsmod7]

Hi Riley,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. I am sorry things have been so frustrating between your mom and her boyfriend. We can definitely talk about some options to help you.
Depending on your age and the state you live in, you may be old enough to move out without any consequences. In order to determine the age requirement you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can check at 1-800-RUNAWAY or you can call your local police department anonymously and ask what the age of minority is.

Another option would be discussing how you feel with your mom and her boyfriend. Sometimes it helps to have another voice in a conversation to help explore feelings and mediate the conversation. With that said we do offer a conference call with your guardian, yourself and an NRS liner. The goal of the conference call is to explore feelings and options. The NRS liner’s role is to be the mediator during the call and clearly define terms moving forward and hopefully generate a solution.
There is also the option of discussing the situation with your Dad. He may be able to help discuss your feelings with your mom.

You can always give us a call if you would like to explore more options or to just talk more about what is going on at home. We are 24/7 and always here to help.

Best,

-NRS

[Guest]

I am about to be 18 in about 3 weeks and a senior in high school.
I live with my mom and step dad,
I used to do self harm but I ended up going to a therapist and we got everything straightened out ish...that was about a year ago..now we have 5 foster kids 1 half brother and me... I am the oldest...everyone has had a lot of stress because of the trauma and behavioral issues of the foster kids. My stepdad especially he has started acting **********y to me all the time and my mom has too...they take most of their anger out on me and it hurts. I do have anxiety and I've started cutting myself again. they won't let me see a doctor and they won't get me a therapist. I want to go live with my Bio dad who Is in another state, I also want to go to a regular high school when I get out there but I am 17...I think my mom has custody but I don't know...what can I do or is there anything?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you’ve been going through really hard times lately, it was very brave of you to explain a bit about your situation.
You mentioned that your mom and step-dad haven’t been treating you the way that you deserve to be treated. Verbal abuse is definitely not okay, and isn’t your fault. It’s understandable that the way you’re being treated is affecting your mental health. It’s not right that your parents aren’t letting you get the services for your mental health that you deserve, that can be considered neglect. If you call into NRS, we can try to find therapists or psychologists in your area. You said that you’re turning 18 in a couple of month, which is great! Being 18 means that you are legal adult and can decide where you want to live or not live (so you can definitely live with your dad if that’s what you decide).
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

If I'm 15 am i allowed to leave to my dad's house without permission from my mom if i have proof that it is an abusive situation for me to be in? Is it possible for me to contact a local judge and ask him/her to switch the custody order, if so.... how long do you think it would take?

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are being abused and you would like to go and live with your dad. Abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support. Since you do have proof of this abuse it could go a long way in ensuring that you do not have to return to your mother’s house. It could also be really beneficial to share this information with your dad, since he is the adult that you are trying to live with.
We want you to know that all of this might not be an immediate process. It also does not guarantee that you will be able to live with your dad.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope you found this information helpful. If you have any other questions please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
Best, NRS

[Guest]

So i live with my mom and ever since, of what shes told me is that he left. He told me mom kicked him out because she had a lover. She tells me so many lies about him and i hate that she never wants to twll me the truth. My mom doesnt respect my dad, but my dad respects my mom. And my dad wants to help me and doesnt tell me bad stuff. My mom whenever i do something wrong she always compares me to my dad and i don't like that becuase she makes me feel like it was my fault that i have a dad like that. I want to ho live with my dad, but I'm scared that my mom won't let me. Thats why i never tell her about it and i can't stand this no more.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

It sounds like your mom is bringing a lot of negativity into your life. It’s understandable why you’d want to live with your dad. We’re not legal experts, but it probably would to be good to find out who has legal custody over you. If they have joint custody, then you should be good to go! We offer conference calling between youth and their parents. If you need help talking to your mom about staying with your dad, we can definitely help facilitate that conversation!

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

A few months ago my mom told us we were leaving my dad and we had to pack up our things then we went to our uncles house but my uncle makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel my mom constantly yells at me and puts my sisters above me (especially my older one.) Would it be illegal to runaway to my dads house?

[ccsmod16]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us. Your situation appears to be complicated. It seems that you are a smart young person, who is just trying to explore his/her possible options. It is admirable to see such a bravery.

It seems that you want to leave your uncle’s house, where you live right now with your mom and sisters; for the reason, that you do not feel comfortable there. Moreover, you want to do it in a safe and legal way. You have the right to live in a place where you feel comfortable and safe. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts but can only give you general legal information about leaving home. As you might have already seen in our other post, generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. If you decide to call us and provide us with more information, such as age, city and state, we might be able to find legal resources in your area. Since it sounds like your father might not have any custody over you, it might make things a little complicated. Our legal resources are either free or on the sliding scale, which makes them very accessible. Please feel free to reach out over chat or the phone to talk more in depth about your options.

Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.

[Guest]

hey my mom says i always get in trouble in greenville so she doesent let me go to greenville anymore to see my dad unless she goes she is trifiling as ever she only goes to greenville for wendsday through friday and comes back at 7:00 that evening i am really thnking about running away to my dads house i asked her could i move back with him and she says no every time i am really considering running away if i do would me or my dad get into any legal trouble?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there!

Thank you for contacting us at NRS. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re having such difficulty living with your mom. It sounds like she is very controlling when it comes to your relationship with your father.

We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but the legality of living with your father usually depends on how old you are and if he has legal custody over you. There are some things called runaway laws. Usually if you’re under 18 and if you run away, your legal guardian can file a runaway report with the police. It is not illegal to run away, but it is a status offense. If you are found, you will be brought back to your legal guardian. Sometimes the Juvenile Justice System will become involved, but this is usually in more severe runaway cases. The second runaway law to be aware of is harboring a runaway. This is illegal. If someone 18 or older lets you stay with them, they could be subject to legal consequences. This could be a friend, a friend’s parents or possibly your father if he does not have custody over you.

If he does have custody, this is a different matter. We would encourage you to talk to your father about potentially living with him and see what he says. Either way, we appreciate you reaching out to us during this difficult period in your life. If you need more advice or just someone to talk to, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, 365 days a year. We would love love love to hear from you sometime. There might be a chance that we could help you better if we had more information about your situation.

Best wishes,

NRS

[Guest]

My mom is a big baby and is annoying she is a brat I tell her to atop and she says shut the ******** up And 2 days ago my dad told her to shut up and she said I can talk I'm not stupid all happened in same night. Yesterday my dad had enough. And he ran away and trust me my mom is enough to make anyone kill thereselves. My mom is disabled we dont get enough for rent.

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,

Thank you for posting on our forum. We’re glad you felt comfortable sharing a bit about your situation and we’re sorry to hear your dad left yesterday. It sounds like your mom’s disability has been hard on both you and your dad. You don’t deserve to be put down and not having enough money for rent seems like it would only add to a stressful living environment. You mentioned your mom is enough to make anyone kill themselves. Please know we are not here to judge you and if you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal, there is support. We are here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability and there is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

We encourage you to reach out to us directly if you’d like to talk about your situation in more detail. We offer Live Chat most evenings from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST and our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, is available 24/7. Best of luck!

-NRS

[Guest]

My parents share custody but my dad abusies prescriptions and acts crazy im scard. I just sont want to be around him im getting depressed xould i just leave and runaway to my aunts

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

We’re so sorry to hear that you feel unsafe at home due and are struggling with your mental health. Everyone deserves to feel safe where they live. Thank you for reaching out to us for help, it’s good you’ve recognized that your own well-being is important.

You said you’re considering running away to your aunt. We’re not legal experts, but we can give you some more general information on what running away as a minor looks like. Running away is a status offense, so it is not a crime, but is still illegal due to age. This means that your father would have the right to file a runaway report and police would legally be able to bring you home. If you are seriously considering running away, you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to help think through a plan to make sure that you’re safe.

Another option might be contacting your aunt and telling her about what’s going on. She may be able to help you figure out what your options are and provide you safety if you’re in danger. Since it sounds like your father’s prescription abuse is putting you in harm’s way it may also be an option to file an abuse report with Child Protective Services. If this is something you would like to pursue, you can call us, or use our chat at www.1800runaway.org/ when it is open, and we can help walk you through that process and talk about what that would mean.

Thanks again for reaching out to us. We know it isn’t easy to talk about these issues, but we’re always here to listen.

We wish you the best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

can i talk go back to living with my mom im 14 whaen she is trying to get custody back of me right now she says

[ccsmod16]

See response below.

[Guest]

can i live with my mom im 14 she says she is trying to get custody of me and i live with my dad and i really miss my mom

[ccsmod16]

We are so sorry that you are facing that tough situation. We are not legal experts.

We are not legal experts, but speaking in general, youth have to stay with their guardians unless the guardian is abusive or neglectful. If there is abuse or neglect, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can call anonymously so you don’t have to commit to anything, and just talk through your situation, and hear what the process would look like.

Youth can also get emancipated, which is a legal process where they become their own guardian before age 18. In general, that involves the youth showing that they can support themselves. We do have legal resources by City, and we can provide those if you give us a call.

Since we deal with a lot of situations like this, it’s also worth mentioning that sometimes youth can work out a compromise with the adults involved. Since we don’t know all the details, some of these ideas might not apply:

But consider if there might be a way for your guardian to allow you to visit with your mom. Sometimes youth work out an arrangement where the guardian permits them to live with another relative or family. We are not legal experts, but in general, if guardians allow that, it’s ok.

If you think your father would say no, think about what his fears or concerns might be. Consider if there’s some way that you could address those fears, so that he doesn’t have to worry.

Lastly, if you don’t think your dad will hear you out, think if there might be another adult, like a relative or family friend, who might hear your side of the story, and be able to talk to your dad with you, and help him see what you want.

Ultimately, you know your situation best, and what the best next step might be. We hope some of these ideas are a help to you.

[Guest]

my mom always puts me down she wont let me be me I always get in trouble for what my sister does I want to go to my biological fathers house and she wont let me Im gonna run away

[ccsmod16]

Hi, thank you for posting on our forum! Your home life sounds very difficult with all put downs from your mom and being blamed for your sister’s actions. That must be really hard! We are sorry you have to live with all that conflict. If you feel you are being abused in any way (verbally, emotionally, physically) or neglected from food or basic needs, you always have the right to make an abuse report. Child Help (the national child abuse hotline) can help you with that and get custody transferred to a safe adult, like possibly your dad if he does not have joint custody. Child Help: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org. If your dad does not have custody, you could talk to him about going to court and getting custody, if that is a safe option. We can also help you talk to your legal guardian in a conference call if you think having a third party may help the situation. Call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
We are not legal experts but what we understand is if you leave before the legal age of majority (18 in most states) your guardian can file a runaway report. If the police find you, they will likely return you home then. However, there may be additional services offered, like family counseling or youth services. It is not illegal to run away, but any adult you stay with without your guardian’s consent could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if your guardian wanted to pursue that charge.
You are really brave to reach out today. Thank you for your courage. Please reach out via live chat or phone if you would like more information or to explore more options. Best of luck!

[Guest]

im 14 and feel like running away my mom and sisters dad are always criticizing me I want to get out really bad can I go and stay the weekend with n=my biological father

[ccsmod16]

Hi, thank you for posting on our forum! Your home life sounds very difficult with all put downs from your mom and sister’s father. That must be really hard! We are sorry you have to live with all that conflict. If you feel you are being abused in any way (verbally, emotionally, physically) or neglected from food or basic needs, you always have the right to make an abuse report. Child Help (the national child abuse hotline) can help you with that and get custody transferred to a safe adult, like possibly your dad if he does not have joint custody. Child Help: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org. If your dad does not have custody, you could talk to him about going to court and getting custody, if that is a safe option. We can also help you talk to your legal guardian in a conference call if you think having a third party may help the situation. Call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
We are not legal experts but what we understand is if you leave without parental consent before the legal age of majority (18 in most states) your guardian can file a runaway report. If the police find you, they will likely return you home then. However, there may be additional services offered, like family counseling or youth services. It is not illegal to run away, but any adult you stay with without your guardian’s consent could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if your guardian wanted to pursue that charge.
You may consider talking to your mom and asking if you could go stay with your dad another adult for a little while. If you get her consent, that is the easiest way to leave home while under legal age. Like we said, we can facilitate a conference call or you could ask an adult at school, another family member or friend’s family to help you talk to her.
You are really brave to reach out today. Thank you for your courage. Please reach out via live chat or phone if you would like more information or to explore more options. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Okay so basically I cant live with my mom anymore. She always talks crap about my dad to me and nothing I do is ever good enough. I get straight A's all year long, I have a 4.0 GPA. And I tried to talk to my mom like a civil adult. I tried to tell her that I think living with my dad is the best thing for me. But that turned out terrible. She was crying to me for a whole week. Asking me when I was leaving. And I didn't really know what to say, because I didn't want to make her cry anymore. So Friday came and I told her I was leaving. First she called me crying, then she called me back threatening to call the cops on me if I left. She has full custody of me. Then immediately after the second call she shut my phone off, and even changed the Wi-Fi password so that I couldn't contact anyone. So I was up in my room crying all weekend. So she told me that when I was seventeen I could make the decision to live with my dad, and I told her if she made me wait that long chances are in the future I wouldn't have the best relationship with her. Then she starting slamming everything and screaming, She got so close to my face I could feel her spit hit my face, she told me F*** you, then I went down stairs crying. She was still slamming everything and yelling that B**** can get the F****out of my house. But then still threatened to call the cops on me the net morning. I am so miserable, I don't know what do. I love my mom but I cant live this way any longer. This is only half the story, but I jut need to know what should I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having issues at home with your mother not letting you visit or stay with your father. We found this previous posting from another user which we think might be of some use to you.

Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we’re glad that you have contacted us for help. Now, we aren’t legally trained here so we can’t give you any specific answers but we can try to help you locate resources and discuss your other options. It was very brave of you to reach out to us.

It sounds like you are currently living with mom but want to go stay with dad because you don’t have a good relationship with mom. It also sounds like you are concerned that things may become physical if you were to stay there. Has that ever happened before?

We are sorry to hear that you feel like mom cares more about your brother than she does you. That sounds incredibly difficult for you, especially with all of the responsibilities that she has for you. You mentioned quite a few personal responsibilities that you have and those things sound very important to you. Have you told anyone at school or any other adults how you are feeling? Sometimes, talking with people can help you feel better and help find other resources that may be available to you.

You asked how you could go live with your dad but it sounds like your mom has custody of you, is that correct? It also sounds like you get to see your dad every few weeks; have you talked with him about how you are feeling? Again, we aren’t legally trained here so we wouldn’t be able to give you any specific details but you may need to speak with an attorney or someone else that is legally trained. They would probably be better able to answer legal questions and give you specific answers about your options.

If going to live with dad isn’t an option, do you know what you might do? Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are non directive so we wouldn’t tell you what to do but we can help you explore options or resources. We have a database that includes numbers for shelters, counselors and legal aid; if you were to call us, we could also help you call the agencies to see if they would be able to help you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to give us a call. We also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week if you would prefer talking with someone that way instead.
~NRS

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to give us a call if you have any further questions. 1-800-786-2929

[Guest]

My 16 year old grandson came to visit and told us his dad is providing him and smacking and pushing him around, he refused to go back, his dad came with police and my grandson told the officer he didn't feel safe going home with his dad and the officer said he was a run away and he had to make him go,
Why would an officer put him in an abusive situation,? If that legal?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks so much for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your grandson is in a situation that nobody should be in – an abusive environment. On top of that, it sounds like the police were not helpful and worse, are aiding the abuser by putting your grandson back in that environment.

If it hasn’t been done already, filing an abuse report is one option that would be encouraged in this situation. An abuse report can be filed by calling your local non-emergency number. In our experience, if the police haven’t been helpful yet, sometimes it is useful to have an advocate when dealing with them. It sounds like you could be a great advocate for your grandson, to file an abuse report and help get him to a safe environment.

We also encourage you to call the National Runaway Safeline, which is available 24/7 and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We would to love to hear more about the situation so we can best assist you and your grandson. We also have a chat service that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week on our website.

We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

-NRS

[Guest]

Is it illegal to runaway to my dads house even though my mom has full custody i can’t be there with her any longer I’m 16 and wanna know if i Can leave to my dads house someone help me please

[ccsmod9]

Hello there,
Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline forum. We’re really glad to hear from you. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help.
We’re not legal experts here, but we can talk generally about the law. Typically, in order for you to live somewhere else, you’d need the permission of your legal guardian. If that is your mother, than it would mean dad could get in trouble if you left without permission. Mom would have the right to call the police and report you as a runaway and dad may be charged for allowing you into his home.
It sounds like there’s a lot going on with mom that you’d want to leave. If you’d like, we want to invite you to reach out to us directly so we might be able to discuss this issue further. You could try our Live Chat right here on this site or you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re 24/7 and confidential.
Stay strong,
NRS