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Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • #46
    can i runaway to my dads house?
    i live with my mom and her boyfriend that is a cop and have been living with them for most of my life now and i just hate living here because im home alone all day and cant go anywhere and im always being told to do things around the house or doing things for neighbors and dont even get paid which is fine but even after all the things i do for them its just not fair. i dont get to see my dad as much as id like to because im supposed to see him every other weekend but that rarely happens now. every time i ask to ask to see my dad or girlfriend or anything leaving home they have now recently have been ignoring me and i hate it because after days pass or the day of i have to ask again and most of the time is a no. i always have to convince her and which i shouldnt have to because i do so much that i deserve it. i hardly get any human interaction here in this home other than sometimes my friends but they just give me more reasons to not talk to them because of the things they do and say. like the cop one time at least that i know of call my dad names that were unacceptable because thats coming from a cop that has never met or spoke to my dad before and i just want to leave.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Riley,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. I am sorry things have been so frustrating between your mom and her boyfriend. We can definitely talk about some options to help you.
      Depending on your age and the state you live in, you may be old enough to move out without any consequences. In order to determine the age requirement you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can check at 1-800-RUNAWAY or you can call your local police department anonymously and ask what the age of minority is.

      Another option would be discussing how you feel with your mom and her boyfriend. Sometimes it helps to have another voice in a conversation to help explore feelings and mediate the conversation. With that said we do offer a conference call with your guardian, yourself and an NRS liner. The goal of the conference call is to explore feelings and options. The NRS liner’s role is to be the mediator during the call and clearly define terms moving forward and hopefully generate a solution.
      There is also the option of discussing the situation with your Dad. He may be able to help discuss your feelings with your mom.

      You can always give us a call if you would like to explore more options or to just talk more about what is going on at home. We are 24/7 and always here to help.

      Best,

      -NRS

  • #47
    I am about to be 18 in about 3 weeks and a senior in high school.
    I live with my mom and step dad,
    I used to do self harm but I ended up going to a therapist and we got everything straightened out ish...that was about a year ago..now we have 5 foster kids 1 half brother and me... I am the oldest...everyone has had a lot of stress because of the trauma and behavioral issues of the foster kids. My stepdad especially he has started acting **********y to me all the time and my mom has too...they take most of their anger out on me and it hurts. I do have anxiety and I've started cutting myself again. they won't let me see a doctor and they won't get me a therapist. I want to go live with my Bio dad who Is in another state, I also want to go to a regular high school when I get out there but I am 17...I think my mom has custody but I don't know...what can I do or is there anything?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you’ve been going through really hard times lately, it was very brave of you to explain a bit about your situation.
      You mentioned that your mom and step-dad haven’t been treating you the way that you deserve to be treated. Verbal abuse is definitely not okay, and isn’t your fault. It’s understandable that the way you’re being treated is affecting your mental health. It’s not right that your parents aren’t letting you get the services for your mental health that you deserve, that can be considered neglect. If you call into NRS, we can try to find therapists or psychologists in your area. You said that you’re turning 18 in a couple of month, which is great! Being 18 means that you are legal adult and can decide where you want to live or not live (so you can definitely live with your dad if that’s what you decide).
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners

      Be safe, NRS

  • #48
    If I'm 15 am i allowed to leave to my dad's house without permission from my mom if i have proof that it is an abusive situation for me to be in? Is it possible for me to contact a local judge and ask him/her to switch the custody order, if so.... how long do you think it would take?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are being abused and you would like to go and live with your dad. Abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support. Since you do have proof of this abuse it could go a long way in ensuring that you do not have to return to your mother’s house. It could also be really beneficial to share this information with your dad, since he is the adult that you are trying to live with.
      We want you to know that all of this might not be an immediate process. It also does not guarantee that you will be able to live with your dad.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope you found this information helpful. If you have any other questions please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
      Best, NRS

  • #49
    So i live with my mom and ever since, of what shes told me is that he left. He told me mom kicked him out because she had a lover. She tells me so many lies about him and i hate that she never wants to twll me the truth. My mom doesnt respect my dad, but my dad respects my mom. And my dad wants to help me and doesnt tell me bad stuff. My mom whenever i do something wrong she always compares me to my dad and i don't like that becuase she makes me feel like it was my fault that i have a dad like that. I want to ho live with my dad, but I'm scared that my mom won't let me. Thats why i never tell her about it and i can't stand this no more.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

      It sounds like your mom is bringing a lot of negativity into your life. It’s understandable why you’d want to live with your dad. We’re not legal experts, but it probably would to be good to find out who has legal custody over you. If they have joint custody, then you should be good to go! We offer conference calling between youth and their parents. If you need help talking to your mom about staying with your dad, we can definitely help facilitate that conversation!

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners.

      Be safe, NRS

  • #50
    A few months ago my mom told us we were leaving my dad and we had to pack up our things then we went to our uncles house but my uncle makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel my mom constantly yells at me and puts my sisters above me (especially my older one.) Would it be illegal to runaway to my dads house?

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,

      Thank you for reaching out to us. Your situation appears to be complicated. It seems that you are a smart young person, who is just trying to explore his/her possible options. It is admirable to see such a bravery.

      It seems that you want to leave your uncle’s house, where you live right now with your mom and sisters; for the reason, that you do not feel comfortable there. Moreover, you want to do it in a safe and legal way. You have the right to live in a place where you feel comfortable and safe. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts but can only give you general legal information about leaving home. As you might have already seen in our other post, generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. If you decide to call us and provide us with more information, such as age, city and state, we might be able to find legal resources in your area. Since it sounds like your father might not have any custody over you, it might make things a little complicated. Our legal resources are either free or on the sliding scale, which makes them very accessible. Please feel free to reach out over chat or the phone to talk more in depth about your options.

      Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.
      Last edited by ccsmod16; 07-24-2017, 02:26 PM.

  • #51
    hey my mom says i always get in trouble in greenville so she doesent let me go to greenville anymore to see my dad unless she goes she is trifiling as ever she only goes to greenville for wendsday through friday and comes back at 7:00 that evening i am really thnking about running away to my dads house i asked her could i move back with him and she says no every time i am really considering running away if i do would me or my dad get into any legal trouble?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there!

      Thank you for contacting us at NRS. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re having such difficulty living with your mom. It sounds like she is very controlling when it comes to your relationship with your father.

      We’re not legal experts here at NRS, but the legality of living with your father usually depends on how old you are and if he has legal custody over you. There are some things called runaway laws. Usually if you’re under 18 and if you run away, your legal guardian can file a runaway report with the police. It is not illegal to run away, but it is a status offense. If you are found, you will be brought back to your legal guardian. Sometimes the Juvenile Justice System will become involved, but this is usually in more severe runaway cases. The second runaway law to be aware of is harboring a runaway. This is illegal. If someone 18 or older lets you stay with them, they could be subject to legal consequences. This could be a friend, a friend’s parents or possibly your father if he does not have custody over you.

      If he does have custody, this is a different matter. We would encourage you to talk to your father about potentially living with him and see what he says. Either way, we appreciate you reaching out to us during this difficult period in your life. If you need more advice or just someone to talk to, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, 365 days a year. We would love love love to hear from you sometime. There might be a chance that we could help you better if we had more information about your situation.

      Best wishes,

      NRS
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