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Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • #16
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you are going through a rough time right now and you are thinking about running away. You do not deserve to be abused by anyone. We hope you understand that getting abused by your father is not your fault and we like to repeat that you do not deserve to be abused.
    You are welcome to call and talk about your situation with us. We are glad that you are looking for help exploring your options. Good for you.

    If you would like to speak with someone please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org (Live Chat).
    It sounds like your aunt has an idea about what is going on. Is there any chance she might help to keep you safe? We understand you thinking about running away but it is also important to think about how you will survive and stay safe.
    NRS can assist you with exploring options for safety we hope you think it over and give us a call.
    We appreciate your courage in reaching out to tell your story you did a good job.
    You took a first step in advocating for your safety and wellbeing.
    We hope that things get better.
    Take Care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      I want to live with my dad

      Hi,
      I am living with my mom right now and most of the time that I am at home, she yells at me for no reason, like for example, when there was the eclipse a couple weeks ago, my mom said that she did not want me to go out or else she will call the cops... I'm not sure if she can do that but i didn't want to take any chances and I know that my dad is better than this. My parents are not divorced but my dad is living separately with my grandma 3 miles away. So I was wondering if I am able to legally go to my dad's house without the cops going after me. I am 15 years old and live in the state of Illinois

      Comment


      • #18
        re: I want to live with my dad

        Hi, thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runway Safeline. It seems that you are going through a difficult experience at home with your mom and that you don’t feel supported at home. You deserve to feel safe and supported at home. Perhaps you can consider talking to your mom about how you feel. Here at NRS, we offer a conference calling service where you would be able to initiate a conversation between you and your mom to try and talk about what is going on at home and see if there is a way that a compromise could be met. We could help mediate that conversation and explore options, such as allowing you to live with dad and how that may look like. Sometimes just being able to talk can be a way to open up the lines of communication and see the best way that everyone can compromise. If this is something that you might want to look into, please feel free to reach out to us at our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        You mentioned that living with your dad could also be an option for you. Although we aren’t legal experts, we can speak generally about your situation. Generally, if both of your parents have joint custody, you can legally reside with either of them. We are including the contact information to the Land of Lincoln Legal Assistance Foundation in Illinois, 618-394-7300, if you wish to discuss any legal custody concerns in detail.

        We want you to know that you do have options. We’re sorry that you had to endure this difficult experience at home. If you would like to talk further about your situation and explore more options, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. You can reach us at our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our live chat service is available from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST and could be accessed through our website, http://www.1800runaway.org/. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #19
          729

          When I was born my dad messed up did illegal things and court and my mom made it where I couldn't see him he had not visitations I'm almost 17 now and I've talked to him for the first time this year
          I even met him without my parents knowing I hate it at home I don't feel wanted or needed they don't trust me I can't go or do anything but they let my step brother do anything he wants I want to run away to my dads they'd have no idea I was there being they don't no I talk to him what should I do

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

            Hi there,

            Thanks for getting in touch with us. It sounds like you are really unhappy at home and you would really like to be able to stay with your biological dad. It’s important to feel wanted and trusted. Home should always feel like a comfortable place. It must have been hard not being able to see and talk to your dad for several years. It must be really exciting to have started developing a relationship with him now that you are older.

            There’s definitely a lot to think about when leaving home. As a minor, your parents would have the option of filing you as a runaway with their local police. If that were to happen the police would be authorized to return you home if they pick you up. Given that you want to stay with your dad, have you been able to talk with him about potentially living with him? It’s great that you see him as someone who is supportive and trustworthy. You might want to think about how long term that plan may be and what you might do if staying with him isn’t a long-term option. Paying for things and supporting yourself may also be something to consider. I might be worth talking to your dad about how he might be able to support you financially if you went to stay with him.

            Is there anyone you trust who you can talk with about some of the issues you are having at home? Maybe another relative, a teacher or counselor you trust at school, or a friend? They may be able to help relieve some stress you have with regards to your family and help you to see things from a different perspective.

            It takes a lot to reach out for help to better your situation. We would be happy to talk with you about your plans in more detail. Just reach out to us through phone or online chat if you want more support.

            Stay strong,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #21
              I want to move in with my dad!

              My mother kicked me out and im currently living with grandparents. I want to go live with my dad but my grandparents hate him and wont let me leave. He lives in ohio and i live in texas. If i left and went to live with him and didnt tell anyone until i got there could my dad and i get in trouble?

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

                Thank you for using our crisis bulletin service.
                It sounds like you are going through a hard time with your mom kicking you out of the house. It is great through that your grandparents were able to take you in.

                In the matter of you leaving to go and stay with your father without consent it mostly depends on who has legal custody of you. If it is your mother, and she kicked you out, you could file a report with CPS because that is a form of neglect. We are not legal experts but generally speaking a person is not considered an adult until they are 18. This means that their guardians are legally responsible for them. So the parent is required by law to provide for the youth (food, shelter, school, etc.) This also means that the youth cannot live anywhere else without parents’ consent. There are exceptions to this rule but those include getting the court involved such as emancipation or CPS removing the parent’s rights.

                You questioned as to what would happen if you leave without telling anyone. Again we are not legal experts but generally speaking, for anyone under the age of 18 the parents have the right to make a runaway report. Since it’s only considered a status offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick up the youth and bring them back home. This is of course if they had any interaction with the police directly. If the youth is found to be living with anyone else the person that they are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department.

                If this is not the case and both your mom and dad share custody, then this matter would be best posed for a legal aid because the matter of custody can be a tricky subject with a lot of grey areas. If you would like to find out more we can connect you with your local legal aid.
                If you would like to talk more about your situation you are more than welcome to give us a call. 1-800-RUNAWAY
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #23
                  help me

                  My mom married somebody else instead of my dad. And he adopted me. But than signed his rights away. I'm almost 17 And I met my biological father. And now I wanna live with him. Can I live with him without being put as a runaway .

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

                    Hi there -

                    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We’re here to listen, here to help. It sounds like you may have some legal questions and while we are not legal experts here at NRS, we will try to help you in any way we can.

                    If you are currently living with your mother and stepfather, and you leave to live with your biological father without their permission, they could file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not considered a crime, but a status offense (similar to skipping school). If the police were able to find you, they would be required to return you to your mother and stepfather’s home. We have heard that sometimes police will not accept a runaway report on a 17 year old since it is close to 18, but this varies greatly by location. If you wanted to get a little more information, you could try calling your local police station and ask them if they accept runaway reports on 17 year olds. You can make this call anonymously, you do not have to provide the police with your name.

                    Alternatively, you and your biological father could involve the court system in order to get custody transferred to him. Again, we are not legal experts here so we can’t give you a full description of what this would involve. It is also possible that this could take a while in the court system. You might turn 18 before the process is finished. If you want to give us a call here at our 24 hour hotline, we can discuss your situation further and maybe provide you with some legal aid phone numbers in your area. This way you could talk directly to a lawyer who would be able to better answer legal questions. We’d love to be able to help you further and hope you’ll give us a call: 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

                    Take care,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      My mother and I have gone through a lot of violence from her husband or my step father and one day he pushed me and I pushed back and from then my mom has been more conserved about keeping me happy there so I don't do anything crazy recently this your her husband told us he would change but I don't feel comfortable there and really fed up with his stuff cause this is the third time he's told us this and I finally got the courage to do something I felt was my only option to get away I ran away and am currently with my father my question is if they send the police and I refuse to go what would happen? Like would they seriously use violence just to take me somewhere I don't wanna be?

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

                        Hi there,

                        Thank you for sharing your story on our online forum. We know that is can be incredibly stressful living in a home where there’s a constant threat of violence and were sorry that you have been going through this. You and your mom definitely don’t deserve to feel unsafe. It’s good to hear that you feel safe staying with your dad.

                        If a minor leaves home without permission, their parent has the option of making a run away report with their police. Running away is not criminal in nature and rarely has any legal consequences, but it would authorize the police to return youth home. The police are not allowed to instigate violence. Furthermore, sometimes people housing runaways can be at risk for charges known as harboring a runaway. Just something to keep in mind. One thing to think about is whether your mom would get the police involved.

                        We’re not legal experts, but maybe there’s a way your dad could be of help by applied for temporary guardianship or navigating the living arrangements with your mom. Maybe there’s a another family member your mom might trust or listen to who could help advocate for you. Just some thoughts. We would happy to brainstorm more ideas with you if you give us a call or chat with us online.

                        Stay strong,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          i want to live with my dad but my mom won't let me

                          my mom thinks if i live with my dad i won't come see her ever again but i would go see her on a week day and every other weekend and right now she has only agreed to let me go back and forth every week so im switching houses every week and its really hard on me with school and everything but i don't want to stay at my moms and i would call someone pr something about her house being dirty but i don't want anything to happen to my little brother because his dad isn't a good dad and i don't want him in foster care and i really want to run away from my moms to my dads but i don't want to get im trouble and i don't want my dad to be in trouble for letting me just stay there after running away and i don't know how to tell my mom im sick of her because i don't want to hurt her feelings but i just really want to leave my mom but i don't know how to tell her but also my dad said to just be straight forward and tell her but i don't want to hurt her feelings mainly because i don't want her to yell and there is a lot more to the story but i don't know how to get her to let me go live with my dad

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: i want to live with my dad but my mom won't let me

                            Hi there,

                            Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been having a difficult time lately at home between going back and forth from your mom and dad’s house, and it sounds like you’re thinking about how to go about living with your dad more often than your mom. We’re glad that you reached out and shared a bit about this difficult situation. We’re here to help.

                            It sounds like going back and forth between your mom and your dad has become stressful which is understandable. It sounds like you would prefer to live with your dad, and see your mom a more limited amount of time. You shared that you have talked to your dad about this and he has given some suggestions on how to go about talking to your mom, but you do not want to hurt her feelings. This is a very tough position to be in.
                            Sometimes, when having to talk about difficult subjects, it can be helpful to have a third party to facilitate. Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calling which we can do with a youth and their legal guardian. We could act as a facilitator to mediate the conversation between the two of you. Another option you have is to do this with the help of another trusted adult, whether it be a counselor, teacher, family friend, etc. Alternatively, another option you have is to write down what you’re feeling either in an email or a letter. Sometimes it can be easier to give someone time to read and think about what you have shared without having to respond immediately.

                            Please, do not hesitate to call or chat with us to talk further through your situation and options. We’re here to help the best that we can.

                            Best,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                            Tell us what you think about your experience!

                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Moving out

                              I don't like how my mom always says I'm messing around with girls and guys and doing drugs which I'm not so I want to live with my dad. If I just go live with him could the cops bring me home and can my dad get in trouble for that. I want to move in with him at 17 which is next month. My dad only lives a hour away. I do homeschool and getting my drivers license.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Moving out

                                Hello there,

                                It sounds like your mom is using drugs and you want to move to your dad’s. That sounds like a really frustrating and unsafe environment to live in, we are sorry you are going through that. It can be considered neglect to use drugs around minors, so you might be able to file an abuse report against your mom. We are not experts on reporting, but if you have questions about reporting, you might try to contact child advocates at Child Helps USA at 1-800-422-4453.

                                It really depends on if your dad has any custody rights. As an older teen, you might have rights regarding what parent you live with if they both have custody rights. We are not legal experts, but we can provide you with legal aid resources for custody issues if you call or chat us. If your dad does not have any custody rights, it is possible that he would get in trouble if you ran away to stay with him. He could be at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway or kidnapping if your mom calls the police on him. Also, have you talked to him about living with him? If so, maybe he can help you talk to your mom about living with him.

                                We strongly encourage you to call or chat us if you would like to talk about your situation, help with brainstorming your options, and/or if you would like those legal aid resources.

                                We look forward to hearing from you.

                                Best wishes,

                                NRS
                                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                                National Runaway Safeline
                                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                                Comment

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