Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • Hey so I live with my step dad and mom my step dad is very abusive he smashed my head through a wall and they didn’t take me to hospital I am going to runaway from this place idc if she calls the cops cuz i will tell them everything

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
      Wow it seems like you are in an unsafe situation at home, and your safety is the top concern. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. You do not deserve to be abused you can report this by calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453.
      If you were to run away and tell the police everything, they may do an investigation. If you would like to explore options with us or need additional resources, please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • My mom and dad are still married, separated for 13 years. My mom has become abusive, I am now seeing the truth about my mom and her keeping me from my dad. My dad has bought a plane ticket for me to go live with him because my mom kicked me out. Can I get on that plane behind her back?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to reach out to NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally on this. In most cases, if you leave home without permission, your legal guardian can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal or something you could be arrested for. Your mom can ask for police to get involved to bring you back home to her.

      Now your situation does sound very different. What you are able to do and what could happen can depend on a few factors including who has legal custody of you and if your mom would give permission for you to stay with dad. Because we do not know the details of your situation we can not say for sure what would happen in your circumstances. Police may get involved, but they also might not because it is an issue your parents need to dispute in court.

      You mentioned that your mom is abusive and has kicked you out . This is not okay and you deserve to have a safe place to stay. If you would like to talk more about your situation in depth to explore your possible options, please do not hesitate to contact us directly at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      Stay safe and good luck,
      NRS

  • my mother and stepfather are very emotionally abusive, my mom and dad were never married so my mom has custody but I'm leaving for my dad's soon, we havent told my mom but if she keeps me from him I dont know what to do I'm terrified shes going to hate me or hurt me

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You don't deserve to be abused in any kind of way and it's not right for your mom and step dad to treat you like that.

      It may be beneficial to speak with your dad directly about your desire to live with him full time. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • So my mum moved far away from my dad (fleeing domestic violence because of my brother) when I was around 11 I am now 13 and I am still struggling to make friends. I want To live with my dad for a better life as I am feeling down. Can someone please help me I don’t know what to do

    Comment

    • ccsmod15
      Super Moderator
      • Apr 2014
      • 2034

      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • I'm 16 and my brother is 13 years old what are our legal rights if we run away from our dad's house to our moms they have joint custody but my dad has an extra day what can I say to the police if they tried to take me back to my dad's and I refused is there a law or do I have any rights my brother and I

        Comment


        • ccsmod4
          ccsmod4 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,
          Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

          We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are considering running away to your mother’s house with your brother but are not sure what might happen if the police get involved. It seems they have joint custody. While we appreciate your situation we are not legal experts. You might consider speaking with your mother about your plans and asking about the custody agreement specifically about if she would have the right to let you stay with her during your father’s time with you.

          If you would like to speak more and give more detail about the situation, we want you to know that we are here to listen and support you during this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. To let us know how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          Take care,
          NRS

      • in tried of live my mom is manipulative and she embarrass me in front of my friends takes my phone for talking to my bestie she lied and cut my dad's tire with the knife and i just wanna be with my dad its soo much to type but should i run away or end my life

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,
          Thank you ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that the situation at home with your mom has gotten so difficult. It sounds like you’re uncertain of what you should do, and, while we cannot tell you what to do, we will do our best to propose options that will help you stay safe.

          It sounds like you’ve been really frustrated at home, and it’s led you to contemplate whether to hurt yourself or leave. Please know that there are agencies, like ours, that hope to help you stay as safe as possible. If you feel that you will hurt yourself, we hope that you will call 9-1-1. You’ve mentioned feeling embarrassed, manipulated, and frustrated, and all of these thoughts can get really overwhelming. When you’re feeling stressed and contemplating hurting yourself, we hope that you will consider contacting someone like the Suicide Prevention Lifeline by phone at 1.800.273.TALK (8255) or by visiting them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ . Know that we are all here to listen if you need someone to talk to. If you’re contemplating whether running away is the right choice for you, we hope that you consider how long you’d be gone, where you’d live, and how you would support yourself, and how you’d keep yourself safe while away from your mom. In your message, you discuss wanting to be with your dad, and perhaps this is something you can discuss with him. It’s unclear in your message whether there is a custody arrangement in place between your parents, but it may help to talk to your mom and/or your dad to find out what that arrangement is and, if possible, whether you would be able to live with your dad.

          Whatever you decide, please know that we are here to support you. It can be truly frustrating to live with someone when you feel you’ve been manipulated and unheard, and we are always here for you. Our goal is to help you stay as safe as possible regardless of what you decide to do, and we look forward to hearing from you. Please feel free to give us a call at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or send us a chat by visiting our website at https://www.1800runaway.org/ . We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

          -NRS

      • Can I go to my biological father's house at 16 or 17 my mom has been abusive my entire life my aunt's, uncles and grandparents have tried to get custody of me over the years and couldn't cause my mom threatened them...im 16 years old now I'll be 17 in a month and I can't take the abuse anymore it's no longer physical but still happening but my dad wants me to come live with him and I would like that too but I don't know the best way to go about that......and what would happen cause they can't take me from my dad right ?!

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for contacting NRS we appreciate you reaching out to us. We are very sorry to hear that you are going through this hard situation. You dont deserve to be treated in that manner. From what we understand about the situation it seems as though your mom has been really abusive towards you in the past and you feel as though your best options is to runaway from home and head over to your biological Dad's house. Some things to keep in mind about running away. Usually if you are younger than 18 you would need permission to leave home from your parents/guardians. If that does not happen your parents have the right to file whats called a runaway report. Once this report is made the police would then be looking for you and if found you would be brought back home. Another thing that might be a good idea is to maybe have a plan with your dad about leaving. Sometimes when parents divorce one parent can have sole custody of the child or have split custody. If your mom has sole custody of you, your dad might find himself in trouble if he were to have you at his home. Planning that ahead of time might help you understand how your dad feels about you heading over to his house.
          Another topic we wanted to address was that you mentioned abuse from your mom. Please know that you can report that abuse you went through even if it is past. You always have that option to pursue if you so choose. We can help report alongside you (through our chat or hotline) or there is also another organization called Child Help that specializes in child abuse reporting. Their hotline is:Hotline800-422-4453) and you can also use their chat option to report as well which is : www.childhelp.org/.
          Please know that NRS takes your story very seriously and we always welcome you to reach out to us through our Chat and Hotline options. Again those are (800-786-2929) or online at 1800runaway.org. We hope you can find a solution and please know that we are here 24/7 for any other questions you might have.
          All the best, NRS

      • I am 15 and I ran away from my guardians to my dad's because I don't want to be with them anymore. I'm tired of being treated like a slave and the abuse. What can I do about this?I don't want to get my dad in trouble and don't want to get in trouble myself. What should I do as my next action to insure my safety and my dad's also.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,



          Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. We're sorry to hear it sounds like you are not being treated well at home. We want to help you ensure your safety.



          While we are not legal experts, we have a great deal of legal experience when it comes to runaways. It is not illegal to run away, however, there are laws about harboring a runaway that vary state to state. If you disclose to the police that there is abuse at home, they may be willing to work with you.



          Another option to consider is making an abuse report. If you call or chat us, we can help you make the call or even make the call on your behalf.



          Lastly, please consider calling ChildHelp at 800-422-4453. They have a hotline with counselors who can help you make a safety plan so you can protect yourself at home.



          Please give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY or a chat at 1800runaway.org so we can help discuss your options. We are available 24/7.



          Best of luck and we hope to hear from you soon.

        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi! Thank you for reaching out to speak about what is going on. It sounds like you are living in a very difficult situation, and you are brave for reaching out for help. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and you do not deserve the treatment that you have been receiving. We want to help you come up with a plan that ensures your safety.



          You have the right to report abuse that you are experiencing to child protective services. If the abuse you are experiencing is found to be dangerous, it is likely that you would be removed from the home. We are not legal experts, but we want to let you know there is a possibility that your guardians could get in trouble if you choose to file an abuse report. If you would like more information about abuse reporting and the process for your state, a great resource is Child Help: (800) 422-4453.



          In order to legally go and live with your father, you would need permission from your guardians. If you choose to leave without permission, it is considered running away. Running away is not a criminal offense, which means that you would not receive criminal charges. If you run away, your guardians could choose to file a runaway report. This means that if the police know you are at your dad’s house, there is a chance that they could come and take you back to your legal guardians. Although we cannot definitively say what will happen, there is also the possibility that you father could be charged with the crime of harboring a runaway.



          You deserve to feel safe and cared for, and we hope that we can help you reach that point. If you would like to talk more about your situation or need more help, feel free to reach out to us through our online chat feature or call us at 1-800-786-2929. We are available 24/7 to listen and help.

          Be well!

      • If I run away from my dads house to my moms dosent still count as running away

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. Unfortunately without more information, this isn't a question we can answer at the moment. Knowing who has legal custody of you and what your parents might (or have already) agreed to in terms of your care is important information for us to know. That said, if you're considering running from your dad's house to your mom's, a good starting point would be to connect with your parents. See what they think, and if they'll agree to you staying with your mom. Communication is important, so opening that door with a conversation might be beneficial to you.

          If you'd like to chat in more detail about your particular situation and what options might be available to you, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

          Take care.

          NRS

      • Hello.. im currently with my mother and my parents have been split since my birth, and over the years I can see why. My mother isn't very mentally stable and makes up crazy stories half of the time always making her the victim.. she also tends to do the same to me as I try my best to steer clear from her drama, but always in the end of the day im always telling myself horrible things from everything she says to me, she is physical aswell and sometimes im scared to be home, I've tried staying at my dads house when I visited him and refused to leave but my mother then took him to custody and the judge didn't even let me speak and explain why, and forced me back, im done with no one listening and I plan to run away to my fathers to escape my mother.. I have to inform him but im just worried about getting him in trouble about my decisions
        Is running away illegal? How old do I have to be before I leave home? What is emancipation? We can address these legal questions and more about runaway and homeless youth on this board.

        Comment


        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,

          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It can take a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we’re really glad you did. It sounds like there’s a lot going on at home right now with your relationships with your mom and dad. Hopefully we can help in any way that we can.

          It can be hard to talk to someone about your feelings and thoughts with someone and it takes a lot of trust as well. But one postive outcome might be that you and this person can be on the same page and really connect on the issue. It might be heplful to do this with your father. Sharing with him some of the information you shared with us may be helpful for him to understand how you’re feeling right now. While it is not illegal for you to run away, if you aren’t yet 18 in most states your mom could call the police and file a runaway report. You mentioned that your mom took your dad to court over custody as well. If he already as legal representation it might be helpful for him to reach out and ask him what his rights are and if he is able to do anything to stop your mother from treating you this way. If he doesn't, we might have a few resources in our database that can be helpful. If you’d like explore that option, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

          You mentioned that your mom is physical that sometimes you feel scared. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, and your safety is a priority to us. If you’d like more information on child abuse or reporting, you can visit childhelp.org or call 1-800-422-4453.

          Again, thank you so much for reaching out to the NRS! It’s great to see you’re taking steps to keep yourself safe. We’re always here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or you can chat with us on our website. Best of luck!
          Last edited by ccsmod8; 12-31-2020, 11:58 AM.

      • Right now I leave at my mom's with my mom and my step dad, I am currently 14 years old and I am having a tough time living here. My step dad is always trying to argue with us about everything and he makes us do a lot of chores. He always picks on me and makes fun of me . My stepdad once wanted to fight me. I wish to move to my real dad's house but don't know how to do it without getting into trouble. Is there a way I can move to my dad's legally?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there,
          Thanks for reaching out! It sounds like a lot is going on at home. You do not deserve to be treated the way your step dad is treating you. We are not legal experts, but your dad would need legal custody of you in order for you to move in with him without your mom's permission. We can talk about this further is you would like to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org. We are here to help and listen. You are not alone in this.
          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • I need help,I want to go live with my dad but my mother will not let me and we have been arguing for a couple days now and I'm starting to feel like I want to runaway to his house,,I am 15 and I need to know what should I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

          It sounds like things have between pretty tough with you and your mother lately, and we're sorry to hear that. While we can't tell you what you should do, we're happy to throw out a few options that you think through. One thing we like to encourage young people to do when having issues at home and who are thinking about running away is to consider how you'd respond to a similar situation once you're out of the house. So for you, it might be worthwhile to think about how you'd work through a situation with your dad if it resulted in you arguing for a couple of days. How would you navigate that? It's likely that dad's house will also have rules and expectations, and there will be times when you two bump heads. If your first instinct is to leave or otherwise remove yourself from that situation, it's probably a good idea to focus on ways that you can work through the tough times that you're experiencing rather than leaving when they occur. This can be challenging to do, but it's an important part of growing up. If you decide to go this route, it can be helpful to have someone supportive to talk to, like a therapist or a social worker. A good starting point in getting connected with someone is to reach out to a teacher or directly to your school counselor or social worker who can both provide support, and connect you with someone else who can as well.

          As far as running away in general, it's usually a good idea to have a plan in place. Consider where you'll go, how you'll get there, and what you'll do to survive once you're there. It's great that your dad is an option, but if your mom has primary custody of you, it's important to know that it can also be a pretty complex situation that could result in your dad facing legal consequences for harboring a runaway. Each state has their own laws in place around this, but it's a good idea to be aware of them (and make sure dad is also aware of them), before making that decision.

          If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on between you and mom, continue to explore your options with us, or otherwise just have a supportive person to talk to, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

          Best of luck.

          NRS

      • Help!

        My mom has full custody over me. She has lied to my dad about his visitation rights, and won't even let me go every other weekend. She refuses to even give him a copy of the divorce and custody papers. My mom is very verbally abuses, she throws everything that happens to me back in my face and I can't take it anymore. She has pushed me past my point. I really want to live with my dad, and she won't let me. I'm only 15. What can I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit of what has been going on at home. It sounds pretty frustrating not being able to see your dad and deal with the environment at home with your mom. When it comes to court orders, your dad is able to request a copy of the court orders (which would include custody and visitation orders) to the court itself. He also probably has either his own lawyer or a state assigned representative, they would have a copy of the court orders as well. If visitations are required, your mom could get into trouble for not following through with them. It would be a pretty good idea for your dad to connect with their lawyer soon.

          You mentioned that your mom has verbally/emotionally abused you before, you can report this as abuse. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

          We hope this helps, please contact us via chat or phone call if you would like to talk in more detail. We are here to support you!

          Stay strong,
          NRS

      • im 14 my mother is abusive physically mentally and she does drugs i feel unsafe to live with and told her ive wanted to live with my dad she made fun of me and called me selfish ive had csp called on us ab 4 times and she forced me to lie im really scared honestly and ive thought ab taking my life and failed many times so im thinking ab running away i live in portland or i know its legal but im scared of what she might do i have everything planed out and know where im gonna go to my friends mom...she gonna try to fight for me and im gonna try to get my dad to fight to but i dont know what to do other then that

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

          You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

          If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          We hope to hear from you soon.
          NRS
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