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Can I legally runaway to my dad's?

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  • Can I run to my dad if I see my mum is not nice and is dangerous

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    • ccsmod4
      ccsmod4 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You might consider speaking with your dad about your situation as any circumstances that puts you at risk might be more of a legal issue about custody in regards to where you would be safest.

      You did a very brave thing by reaching out today. Good for you.

      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk or in danger, please reach out to emergency services by contacting 9-1-1

      Be safe and take care,
      NRS

  • i want to live with my dad but i cant tell my mother because if i even say something about him she gets mad.my mother is crazy. when i say crazy i mean crazy she left me at my aunts house for two weeks and i was about seven or eight. i dont know why. when my sister and brother used to live with her she used to hit them and i feel that she might do the same to me. she has hit me before, i just feel unsafe with her. i called my dad last night and he said that we will do somnething but he also said that when he asks me if my mother treats me well i say yes because if i do say something i feel like i might die.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. It also sounds like past family members have also been harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. Through this organization you might be able to stay with your dad since there is physical abuse.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • Hi my name is amikayla and I'm ten years old I really hate my mom and stepfather I want to go live with my dad he treats me like royalty how can I tell my mom I wanna go live with my dad? She knows I'm always sad because I never see my dad and the way she treats me, she always pays attention to my two brothers and my stepdad it's not fair I guess she thinks it's fair, I always try to runaway but I always think how it will effect my life and my besties feelings also my crush I always wish will my misery will end and can I die already I just wanna be with my DAD

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it is understandable that you would want to live with your dad. Sometimes it can be hard to bring up touchy subjects to parents. What you’re going through is tough since you are thoughtful towards the feelings of your friends and others in your life. We want to provide support to you in any way that we can.

      In terms of you wondering how to tell your mom that you want to go live with your dad, we may have some ideas that could help. Although it is not illegal to run away, it is possible that your dad could get in trouble if he doesn’t have any custody over you and if your mom is not okay with it and decided to file a police report. If she did file a police report, the police could force you to return home and your father could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway, which are just some things to consider. Have you considered maybe writing a letter for your mom to read? Sometimes letters can be helpful for expressing your thoughts and feelings in a soft way. We would also like to mention that we offer conference calls here at NRS, which are basically three-way-calls that can allow you to speak to your mom over the phone with someone in the middle of the call to make sure the conversation stays on track and respectful. Our number here at NRS is 1-800-786-2929, and we are available to talk or chat 24/7. You mentioned that you have tried to run away before, which is totally understandable. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are thinking about running away or have already runaway, please feel free to call us if you need to devise a plan, find shelters in your area or other resources, or if you just want to talk and need some support or guidance. We are completely confidential here at National Runaway Safeline, so anything you tell us may be kept private.

      Again, we’re really glad that you decided to reach out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. Although we are not legal experts here at NRS, if you would like to talk further about your situation or if you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us.

      We’re here to listen, here to help.

      -NRS

  • Can I just stay at my dads. My mom is poor and she won’t get another job so my dad has to pay her money. I try to do stuff but she doesn’t trust me and I don’t know how to have her trust me again. My dad makes a decent amount of money and I get to see him for about 10 days in 1 month and my mom comes up with something for us to do so I get even less than that. They always get in verbal fights when they talk to each other and then my mom won’t let me stay at my dads for one more day if we get a day off of school because she’s mad at my dad.

    Comment


    • Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like going to stay with your dad is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission, as your mom is your main guardian. If you are under 18 and leave home, your mom may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, your dad may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway, depending on the laws in your state regarding custody. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Say your a 12 year old and you runaway from your mom's house to your dad's house for personal reasons and you don't feel safe with your mom and want to live with your dad would you be introuble or your dad?

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
          We are not legal experts but we do have some general information on the laws. If you were to runaway your legal guardian could file a runaway report and if the police found you they would bring you back to your legal guardian. It may be different in your case if both parents have custody then it may have to go through civil courts. One option to consider is talking to your father about why you do not feel safe at your mothers and seeing what options there are for you. You can also talk to a school counselor about what is going on and they may also be able to provide resources.
          If there is any type of abuse going on at home, you do have the right to make an abuse report. You can call The Child Help Hotline at :1800-422-4453, and they can assist you with making a report.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
          NRS

      • Hi, my name is ashton im 14 and my mom and dad broke up when i was 9. I dont wanna live with my mom anymore cuz im just getting tired of always being around her, i respect her a lot i just have been around her my whole life and wanna have a better bond with my dad. Me and my mom argue a lot and i dont like it i wanna move in with my dad but i dont know if me or my dad would get in trouble for me leaving my moms and going over there.

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and it is understandable you want a better bond with your father.
          We are not legal experts but if your mother has full custody and you were to leave without permission you could be considered as a runaway. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. One option to consider would be to talk with your mother about possibly allowing you to stay with your dad. Another option would be to talk with your school counselor about what is going on. Sometimes talking to a professional can help and they may be able to provide resources.
          We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
          NRS

      • 2 questions
        ​​​​​​
        I have to go to visitation with my biological father every other Saturday. While with him I do not feel safe with him. He does not know anything about me my age, what school I go to, or anything about my personal life. Ivan suppose to stay with him for 5 hours but I can only stand to stay with him for about an hour and a half most likely less. Whenever I go with him we have to go to stores or eat because he lives with roommates but doesn’t stay there. I’m the beginning he goes to his house to pick up his mail while I wait in the car for about 20 minutes. Every time I think about just walking home or going to hide somewhere. Could I or my mom get in trouble for this. That was my first question. My second question is can take him to court to stop going to visitation or would my mom have to take him to court? And if I can take him to court at what age can I do this?

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help you out. We are not legal experts but at the age of 16 in some states you have a say in custody. You could contact your local family court to find out if this applies to the state that you are in. If you do not feel safe when you are with your dad you can always call 911. If your mom does not comply with the court ruling for visitations she could get in trouble unless there is a reason why she did not comply. This question can also be answered by someone in family court as well. One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom why you do not like going to visit your dad. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

      • Ok so I’ve been living with my mom for my whole life and she is married and the guy that she is marrying right now he hits her sometimes and even me he will grab me by the hair or even kick me and I tell him to leave me alone but he don’t listen and how all this starts is whenever my mom is not home because she has 2 jobs anyways he always acts up when she’s not there and I tell her but she just says that I never listen that’s why I can never talk to her but she doesn’t care so when me and her husband have fights but I would do my chores but then his kids are always making messes and I hate it and he says why do u never pick up and he will call me fat or if I sit on something he will be like get off your too fat and one time his little brother came over they we’re watching tv and I was doing my chores he was telling me stuff and obviously I would tell him something back and they always tell me I’m back talking but sometimes I’m not like I can’t even nothing because they always think I’m back talking but anyways that day that his brother went he got mad and picked me up by my neck and he opens his eyes really big and he scares me. So we always have fights because I don’t clean but I always clean for my mom, and when he makes messes I tell him nicely can u pick up or stuff he gets mad and says u pick it up and I say no and I tell him u tell us to pick up all are stuff and u can’t even pick up one thing. And he gets mad and I won’t talk to him. One time we had a big argument that I wanted to run to my dad’s house he lives like a few streets away he lives pretty close to me so I was gonna run to his house before it got dark but he stopped me and didn’t let me leave and I feel like he just doesn’t want me to report him or anything and I’ve told my dad whenever he hits me and my dad tells me to report it and I try but he Doesn't let me I’ll try to run to my room to get my phone and he will get on top of me so I can’t call know one and he will take my phone, and I just hate him I’ve told him before to not talk to me and like I said I’ve told my mom but she don’t listen and my dad has told my mom to let me live with him but my mom says no but whenever I’m there they go somewhere or they just need me to take care of his kids but I don’t like to I’m 13 years old I shouldn’t have to take care of anyone I could sometimes but that’s all they need me for when it’s the weekends I go to my dad’s to spend it with him but when I’m there the next day she says to come back because she has to work but her husband is there and I’m just like are u serious and he doesn’t do nothing at the house like nothing he’s always on his phone and the kids make the biggest mess and when I leave to my dad’s I leave my room spotless and when I come back it’s a disaster and I get really mad and my mom and her husband have their own room and I share a room with my baby sister and my mom’s husband sleeps in my room and I tell him don’t be sleeping in my room cuz then u leave your socks and your clothes and he says I can if I want that’s my daughter room to but I say idc I have clothes on the floor and I tell him don’t go in there and he still does but I get creeped out because my underwear is in there and I tell him you need to stop it yes I tell him off cuz I get so mad because That’s really weird and I get in big fights with my mom as well she gets mad when I’m late to school and I’m always on time but just 2 times she gets hella mad for no reason and I still go to school I live hecka far I have to walk and I live where your almost gonna take the freeway and my school is where like The high school is at and it’s really far I would tell my mom can you take me to school she will be like no that’s your fault and I’m just mom please it’s far she won’t care but a 1 later she can take the other kids and idk I just really mad but anyways I’ve always wanted to live with my dad I feel safe it’s not the I want to do whatever my dad makes me do chores as well and I do them and I just feel more safe I’m not that stressed at my mom’s I’ve always thought of suicidal because I was just so stressed but at my dad’s I can talk to him and he listens he talks to me in a normal voice if I tried to talk to my mom she would just yell at me or even say I’m stupid I can’t even talk to her at all only my dad and I can trust my dad and my mom has always threatened me saying if u go late again ima call the cops and I’m 13 I can’t take all the stress so i wanna live with my dad if u read this can u get back to me as soon as possible thank you
        Last edited by ccsmod4; 01-10-2020, 12:59 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod4
          ccsmod4 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

          With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. It is not your fault that he is behaving this way.
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          You may also be able to report any abuse to Child Protective Services.
          Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member (like your dad) or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. Abuse reports can also be filed at school by informing a teacher, counselor or social worker of what’s going on.
          In order to protect yourself it is important that you exercise self- care. You cannot control someone else’s behavior but you can control how you react or respond to it. Avoiding conflict with your stepdad sounds like something you might think about.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
          If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.


          Just to reiterate if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 9-1-1 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

          Be safe,
          NRS

      • As a 14 year old can my mom call the cops on me for running away to my dads

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home and go to your dad's. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. If your dad dos not have custody of you ten he could be charged for harboring and violating the custody agreement. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • [QUOTE=;n154]1I do not get along with my mother or oldest sister at all, its to the point where we have knocked each other out over dishes and my mother and I yell and scream and argue over EVERYTHING and she has stopped me from doing the things I want to do. I tried legally to move in with my dad through a custody battle 2 years ago and I'm now 17 and I want to runaway and live with my dad, but my mom would call the cops in a heartbeat and she would know where I would go. Can the cops take me back home if I run away unassisted to my dad's or get him in trouble if he keeps me there? Please I need to know indefinetley.
        I have been wanting to move with my dad for the longest

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,
          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like life at home with your mom is really stressful. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. Since you would be going to your dad's and since you're close to turning 18, the police may let you stay where you are, but that would vary depending on your location. You can call out to your local non-emergency police line to verify your town's policy.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • I need help.

        So I have a very mean stepmom and she threatens me at lot about beating me. She says that I'm a bad person and I don't belong in her house. She has hit me and slapped me, she has left marks on me from hitting me. Also when I was little she would hit me for almost everything I did wrong. My mom's house isn't that far away so is it legal to go to her? I really don't feel safe in her house so I wonder if I can legally "run away" to my mom's house.?

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed by your stepmom. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
          Depending on the custody agreement between your parents, you may be able to stay with your biological mom. You may be able to ask legal aid or contact your local nonemergency police number to find out whether you could stay with your mom in the meantime. They wouldn't want you staying in an unsafe environment. Your safety is most important.
          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
          If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
          We hope to hear from you soon.
          Be safe,
          NRS

          Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • i live with my grandparents. i have since i was like 5 or 6. because my parents split up and kinda just left us here. i'm 14, recently defacs has been involved and my moms in a shelter with my 7 month baby brother. bc i told my school counselor my mom was being beating my my use to be step dad. so they moved them all the way to waycross. my dad has recently told my nana and papa i want to move with them. my grandparents won't let me move. my dad has no rights . he doesn't even have us legitimatilized. they know i'm unhappy. they are working on going to court and getting custody. but recently i've gone into a depression stage. could i runaway ? and would my dad have to come get me?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          We are sorry to here you are having difficulties at home right now. It sounds like you want to live with your dad and your grandparents won't let you. That's got to be very frustrating. You ask if you can run away. We never tell anyone what to do, but we can tell you what we know. Running away isn't a crime, but it is a status offense like breaking curfew. That means you could be detained by police till they release you to your guardians (which sound like your grandparents at this time). Anyone you stay with -- including your dad if he doesn't have any custody rights over you -- could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a crime. So, leaving home without permission definitely has some serious potential consequences.

          Perhaps there are other options besides running away. One option might be for your dad to get in touch with legal services that can provide counsel to him on what you and he can do to be reunited. If you or he give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can give you some legal aid resources that might best handle those types of questions. Or, if you just want to talk and figure out what you'd like to do next, we are here for you. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are here 24/7. You can also chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a safe place to talk about anything that's going on. Since you mention depression another great number to call is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, where folks are trained to talk about things like depression. Their number is 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text NAMI to 741741.

          We hope that helps. Please stay safe!

          NRS

      • i need help badly

        so i live with my mom and i hate it, she treats me like human garbage and is super strick about everything, she will take everything from me over the smallest stuff ever, i want to live with my dad and she is saying no and that she has full custody of me, im 15 and i wanna run away to my dads, he said he will gladly take me, i hate living with my mom, i wanna kms because of her, i give up on everything

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mom's permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your mom even if she has said no in the past. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Since your dad is willing to allow you to move in with him, you can ask him to hire a lawyer and look into arranging a custody agreement with your mom.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS

          Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      • I’d like to leave my dad’s house and go live with my mom, but I don’t want the cops to be called on me once I leave. Can I legally have my mom come pick me up ?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you're going through a tough time at your dad's house. We're sorry about that. Keep in mind that we aren't legal experts, but we can answer your question to the best of our knowledge.

          If your dad has custody rights over you, you would need permission to leave home, even if it was to visit or live with your mom. If you leave home without permission your dad could file a runaway report on you and anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. If a runaway report is filed, you would likely be taken back home by the police.

          We'd like to help further but really would need to know more details about your situation to see how we can assist. The best way for us to do that is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 and are a confidential, safe place to talk about things. We hope to hear from you soon!

          Stay safe,
          NRS
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