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  • 16 and wanting to move out

    I am 15 and I will be 16 in 3 months. I have been hiking about moving out since I was 12. My parents don't abuse me or anything and they don't have a drinking problem. Sure they go and drink every once in awhile but thats not a problem. I've been thinking about moving out because my mother is very controlling and my dad isn't much help. Everyone is constantly arguing and it is getting worse. I have a 18 year old brother who still lives with us. My whole life its been mostly about him, my questions and thoughts get ignored. When I walk through the door I immediately get yelled at. A couple weeks ago I came home at 9 from my volleyball game, I didn't even get two feet through the door and the started yelling about me not wanting to wear a certain shirt that day because I had to dress up. Also, they always want to bring me to a shrink or put me through anger management. I was throwing up for three days straight and my parents thought I was making myself puke. My parents always think I'm making things up or that something is wrong with me. My mom says we have a bad relationship because I might an angry person, not because they are always yelling. Even some of my friends have seen and commented on how they baby my brother and let him say and get away with what he wants. But if I ask to go to a friend's house there's lots of questioning ainvolved. But it's not like I am a bad kid, I have a grade point average of 3.6 I am a sophomore taking 2 junior classes and I will be starting college through dual enrollment in January. I already have a job lined up for me at Fazoli's and if I can find a way to move out I will be renting a house with one of my friends. I want to move out because I know this can help me and my parents relationship. I will still come visit them almost everyday and I will still go to school ofcourse. I want to be a psychologist so there's no way id spend mytimr goofing round doing illegal things my life will be busy enough as it is. I know how hard this will be but I know for a fact I can be successful while doing this. My mom has told me many times that she can't stand me for more than thirty minutes and thy I am a burden when I am home. She told me one night that maybe I should move out to see what it's like. They have very little faith in me. When I told them I wanted to be a psychologist and that I was going to take harder classes and started college, they didn't think I would make it. I am doing fine in my classes and they still insist on me dropping a few. I have already bought my own car and the only problem is that my dad has put the titling his nname. I have already done the math and I know I can afford to move. My friends say it would be best and even my brother says he's starting tonotice things. I have already looked into emancipation but I don't know if my parents would agree to it. They support me in some ways like healthurance and buying me food. I was paying for my own phone up until eighth grade and I will be paying for my own fone again when I turn 16. If I ask my mom for money (which I only do when I need it for volleyball) she starts calling me ungrateful and unappreciated, when my grandma buys me my school clothes because my mom doesn't. She's always telling my dad tht she is unappreciated and she's always telling us stories about when she was a kid she wouldn't get away with anything we do but my grandma nd grandpa tell me that she ran away when she was 16 but came back two days later because it was hard. Her constant mood swings are hard to deal with too. I have a plan that 3 days after I turn 16 I am going to sit them down and ask them if I could move out and that I think it would be best for our relationship. I would move in with a friend for a coupe of weeks and then bring up emancipation to them and if they say no then I am going to file anyways and start renting the house that me and my friend are looking at. If my parents don't let me move out then I am going to just leave and rent that house with my friend anyways. If you have any suggestions or comments on how I could leave, please help! Thanks

  • #2
    re: 16 and wanting to move out

    I am so glad that you found The National Runaway Switchboard online. It sounds like there is a lot going on at home that you have been dealing with for quite some time. It must be so frustrating to feel like you are constantly getting yelled at and to feel like no one cares about your thoughts or feelings. It can be difficult to want to stay at home when it feels like you aren’t being heard or treated fairly.

    You seem very thoughtful and that you have many goals. With school and sports already going on, you must be really unhappy at home to also want to move out and start a job. Because you have a plan to talk with your parents, you’ve clearly thought a lot about having open communication with them. Have you tried talking to them before about how you’re feeling? Sometimes talking during a time when there isn’t an argument happening can help because everyone is more calm. Is there another adult in your life that you feel comfortable talking to? Friend’s parents, other relatives, teachers or school counselors can often help to be a more neutral party and be supportive in these tough situations. They might be able to help you come up with some other options, too.

    You mentioned that you have looked into emancipation as an option. Did you have more questions about it? Emancipation processes differ by location, but if you did want to look into it any more, you can always contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or on our live chat from 4:30-11:30CST and we could give you more information about it. We are definitely here to support you and help you navigate these difficult decisions. Thanks again for reaching out and we wish you the very best.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      i live with my grandmother and i want to move out i hate it there and ive been putting up with her for to long she makes me depressed and i dont want to go back i want to move in with uncle but i dont know how i will be able to move in with him, im 15 going to be 16 in january and my question is how will i be able to move in with him legally ?

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: Unregistered

        Hi there,

        Thanks for contacting us tonight. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time with your grandmother. It also sounds like you’re trying to do the best you can to move in with your uncle and are trying to prepare. That’s really great. So let’s see how we can help you out tonight.

        First of all, we aren’t legal experts here, but we are able to talk about what happens in these situations in general. It is not illegal to runaway. One way to potentially leave your grandmother’s would be emancipation. In most states, you are allowed to file for emancipation at age 16. One resource that might be helpful to you is the Youth Law Center. This is a national organization that might be able to talk through emancipation with you. You can call them at 1-415-543-3379.

        Another way to leave your grandmother’s house would be to get permission from her. Can you think of a way to try and get permission? Sometimes getting someone else involved, who you both trust, can be helpful in convincing her.

        You know, we would like to talk through other options that you have and provide you with some local resources. The best way to do this would be to call into our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you can’t call in, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.com) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central time. We look forward to your chat or call.

        Good luck to you,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I am turning 16 next month and I am very unhappy with my parents at home. They're very controlling and give me no space. I feel smothered and I've wanted to move out since I was 13. My sister said I could live with her, she already sent paperwork and she wants to take custody when I'm 16. What are my chances of getting that to happen?

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for posting. We’re sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time with your parents. It’s hard to be at home when you feel constantly under scrutiny. It takes a lot to reach out and ask for help. We are here to listen and help the best way we can.

            It sounds like your sister really cares about you and wants to help. Having the support of friends and family is great. It also sounds like your sister started the process of getting custody. We aren’t legal experts so it would be hard for us to say how long the custody process takes. But there should be legal resources in your area that would be able to answer your questions. We could help you find some legal resources. You could either call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Our phone lines are open 24/7 and one of our liners would be able to talk to you about what you’re going through. You could also reach us through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST.

        • #6
          Iam 16 years old turning 17 in 2 months my mom isn't even a home I don't feel like I belong there . I don't get abused physically but I get abused mentally I do not want to live with my mom and her boyfriend . Iam currently living with my uncle and my mom threaten to make me go back home . How can my uncle legally get rights of me . We have prof where my moms boyfriend is texting me telling me ******** and my mom as well what can we do

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thanks for reaching out to us and posting on our forum! We appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation and we hope our response will be helpful.
            It sounds like home isn’t a safe place for you, due to mental abuse from your mom. You should not have to deal with any kind of abuse, from anyone, ever. It’s understandable why you want to stay at your uncles. It’s great that he’s there to support you. You can always report the abuse. We do abuse reports with/for youth and there’s also the national child abuse hotline, Child Help (800) 422-4453. Child Help also finds options and resources to help youth get their custody transferred over to safe adults/family members, like your uncle. If you call in, we can also try to find you legal aid resources that could see if there’s other ways to change custody.

            You’re not alone in this and it sounds like you’re being really brave! If you want to look more into the options that we listed, don’t hesitate to call into our 24/7 safeline. We also have a chatting service via our website, but that service is not available 24/7. Talking to teachers or school personnel that you trust, could also give you some more support.

            Be safe, NRS
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