12 Year old ready to get out.

[Unregistered]

So,To make this simple..Im 12 years old but I am very very smart at life. I have been around older people my whole life. I basically act like one. I know right from wrong. My life isnt the worse and isnt the best. Im the kind of person that is does not take long to hurt. My family is torn apart. Most of my family does not like me at all. My mom is always fussing at me and calling me names. And my house,its terrible. It isnt fit to live.I want to get out and now.

The only thing is it is illegal to runaway in my state.I live in Kentucky. I don't to go to foster care. Honestly this may sound very dumb as me being 12 but I could do very good on my own. I have worked before but I didnt get any money. If my mom called the police,what would happen to me? My friend suggest I get on a greyhound and go to a different state. They also recommended that I could leave the country. Could I? Like I said,I am sure I want to. I probably would not do it now. Maybe when im 13 or 15. But I need to get out and now. Where could I go? I heard about a thing called Covenant House. Should I go there? How would I get in school? Could you please give me a few tips and advice. Thank you very much.

[ccsmod3]

12 Year old ready to get out.

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard,

It sounds like are dealing with a lot in your family and are considering leaving. It seems like it would be really difficult to feel like your family is torn apart, doesn’t love you, and to have your mom fussing at you. We are also sorry to hear that your house isn’t fit to live. If that is the case, one option would be to contact Child Protective Services (CPS) to see if they’d consider that neglect. If you decide you’d like to try and file a report, you are welcome to call us and we can walk you through that process. Or, if you are comfortable you can contact the Kentucky Statewide Child Abuse Reporting Line at 1-800-752-6200.

We are not legal experts here, but to our knowledge running away is normally just a status offense. This basically means that minors (typically 17 and under) cannot leave home simply due to their age. If a minor does leave home without permission, then the parent(s)/guardian(s) might file a runaway report and if police discover the minor, they would usually just take them home.

As far as working, the U.S. Department of Labor seems to have pretty strict laws when it comes to minors working. As far as we can tell, 12 year-olds are pretty limited unless they are doing agricultural (farm work.) Here is a direct link from their website which you might find helpful: http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs43.htm.

We are not here to tell you what to do, but we do care about your safety. If you haven’t had a chance to check out some common questions to think about before running, you might find these helpful: http://www.1800runaway.org/youth/nrs_can_help/.

You mention Covenant House which can sometimes be an option, but from our experience they usually take youth 18 to 21 years of age. Some shelters may take 12 year-olds and one other place to check is National Safe Place, www.nationalsafeplace.org. Shelters will typically have to contact a parent/guardian either right away or within 24-72 hours. This is so they do not get in trouble for harboring a runaway.

If you’d like to continue discussing your situation, feel free to contact us directly by either calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or through our Live Chat Service (red button on our website) from 4:30-11:30 CST. Best of luck!

[Unregistered]

RE: 12 Year old ready to get out.

Thank you for your information. I do not want to get the child services into this. I would not want to be in foster care. Oh,I thought that the Covenant House took all ages but I guess I was wrong. What do you think they may do if my mom did go to the police and say I was missing? I looked up some things and they said I should probably change my name and look. Would that be a good thing? I know you people dont tell us to run away but Im just looking for information on what I would have to do. If I stayed with someone, and my mom tryed to bring me back home but I wanted to stay,could they adopt me? Should I bring money and things along? If I did runaway, We do not have buses or trains here where I live..so what should I do?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for getting back to us and continuing to tell us about what is going on. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and hopefully, we can continue to provide you with support or resources.

Again, we wouldn’t be able to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. What we can do is try to find you a safe place to go should you leave home. It sounds like you don’t want to involve Child Protective Services and we totally understand that. Getting CPS involved can be a pretty scary thing to do. If you should ever change your mind or if you just want to call to ask some questions, please remember that we are here in order to help you with that.

We aren’t legally trained here so we can’t tell you specifically what would happen if your mom was to file a report with the police. Generally, they would take the report and list it in the database. She could also make up posters or fliers to hand out. If the police were to locate you, they would probably contact your mom to let her know and then make arrangements to return you home. If you were to stay with someone and your mom found out, she may have the option to charge them with harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. We don’t know what will specifically happen if she does that though.

It sounds as if you may have an idea of where you would go if you were to leave home. Would you like to talk more about that? Again, we can’t tell you what you should do if you were to leave home so we can’t tell you if you should take things or not. If you were to take stuff with you, what do you think it would be?

Thank you again for continuing to reach out to us for help. It sounds like things are tough for you right now and it was very brave of you to ask for assistance. Please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us seven days a week from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM at http://www.1800runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

NRS

[Unregistered]

12 Year old ready to get out.

Thank you for replying once again. I am not really sure where I would go if I left. My friend said maybe I should leave the country but Im not sure if I could? I would probably take a few things with me. Like money,a bit of food,some clothes and soap,tooth brushes. Things that I may need to keep myself healthy for awhile. I know running away is a big wrong thing to do. But some times its the only thing you can do. My life isnt the greatist. Its always fussing and fighting NON-STOP! Im always being told that I wish I was dead and stuff. Ive been told so much things.. I used to be nice and could handle it. Now whenever something makes me mad.. I loose it. I honestly cannot take anymore. But the only thing they could do was basically take me home? I know if I stayed with a person that they could get in trouble for taking me in. So I guess that wouldn't be such a great ideal. This sounds crazy but do you think I would be safer to go out into the wilderness and stay there , or under a bridge. I know once again you can not tell us but could I please get your opinion on that?
Thank you

[Unregistered]

A safe place.

Where would be some safe places to go? If I did get into foster care somehow..Im scared that the family could abuse me or do bad things. I know many people where I live that has happend to. Im scared it would happen to me. But where would be a safe place?
If I did leave home,I would take money and some supplies that I would need to stay in good shape for a while. Im just cared of what would happen. I may get it off worse. My home has alot of cats and 1 dog. Its not very clean and very junky. 4 people live in this small house and theres alot of fighting. What could I do to stop fighting?

[ccsmod5]

Hey,

Sounds like you've thought of a few different things that you could do. If things are tough at home, and people are saying things to you en't ok (wishing you were dead, etc), you can reach out to social service agencies or shelters. If you do go to a shelter or call social services, they might be able to tell you what would happen if you made an abuse report.

And you're right, we don't tell people what to do or give advice. You talked about going into the wild or sleeping under the bridge...what we can say to that is: have you thought about how long you could do all that stuff and how would you survive? Sometimes people think about things like the weather, safety from other people, health, nourishment, etc. Those are things to consider if you do go to the wilderness or under a bridge.

One thing we can recommend is if you'd like, you can call us so we can explore all of these things. It might be asier to have a smooth conversation about everything you're going through. If you call, call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We're available4 hours a day. If you want to live chat with us, we're available fo rthat everyday from 430p-1130p (CST).

Best of luck,
NRS

[Unregistered]

12 Year old ready to get out.

Thank you once again. So far for the wilderness, I have thought about weather and such. And the bridge,that too. I know some places are open to the public. Im just not to sure you know. I just want to be free. Maybe ill check into a shelter. Who knows. I hope the best for me. No one deserves a life like us. Im ready to take on whatever comes at me. Ill talk about this with some people. And whatever happens,happens. I just dont want any contact with my family. Ill probably go by a different name and story. If I ran away,I would not want to go back home. Is it bad that I want to do this?

[ccsmod3]

Re: 12 Year old ready to get out.

Hello again,

It sounds like you are pretty determined. As we have explained before, we are not here to tell anyone what to do (which includes the decision to run away), but we do care about safety. It sounds like your plan might have some obstacles in terms of safety if you decide to go the wilderness route. We cannot say for certain what will happen if you give a different name, but shelters or other social service agencies may choose to get Child Protective Services (CPS) involved until they are able to figure out your true identity.

You mention if you run away, you wouldn’t want to go back home. We can’t say if that is bad or not, but it sounds like a lot is going on to make you feel that way. We encourage you to contact us directly so it is easier to have an ongoing dialogue. Our Live Chat will remain open until 11:30 pm CST and our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), is 24/7. Best of luck!

-NRS