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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there and thank you for reaching out to NRS.

    We appreciate you taking the time to write us and share a bit about what has been going on at home. It sounds like your parents have not been making you feel cared for or supported. Parents have a responsibility to take care of you and you deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe. It is totally understandable that you are feeling like leaving home is your best option right now.

    It can certainly be stressful when the adults in our lives are not be supportive. The national child abuse hotline might be a helpful resource to talk to, so that you can get the support that you deserve. Sometimes simply having a safe place to talk about your situation can help you think of options you hadn't thought of previously. You can contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or go to www.childhelpline.org.

    If you feel like you need to leave, we are happy to brainstorm a safety plan with you and connect you with youth shelters in your area. We want to talk more in detail with you about your situation and your net steps so that we can better support you. You can reach out anytime to our hotline by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org if you would like to talk more about your next steps and your possible options.

    We look forward to hearing from you soon so that we can help,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi ,
    Im a 17 year old who really wants to run away from home. My parents don't drop me to school and they always have conversations with me about how I'm the worst child ever and a burden. They also pause my laptop even when I need to do HW because I haven't done their chores. I feel like Cinderella and all they do is yell at me. Me and my mom are non stop fighting which affects my sister and me and my dad are too. What is a safe way to run away from home? I don't want to get sexually assaulted but I also NEED to move out (((. Im having mental breakdowns and can't focus in school because they are so mean. I haven't had breakfast or lunch for 2 weeks now . Could anyone give me some advice please. Anything helps really

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have a lot going on. It must be hard not having privacy and having your siblings eat all your food and invade your space. It’s understandable that you would want to leave and it’s apparent that you are responsible. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms.
    If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. We appreciate you choosing us to communicate with. If you want to further explore this, don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY. Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am still 17, but I want to move out before I turn 18. It would only be a month before I turned 18. I am struggling with financial issues because I’m working a 10 dollar an hour job and have to pay for my own food, gas, insurance, etc. Once I move out I could get a full time job which would allow me to afford the apartment, but I’m scared that the cops would try to take me back home. Honestly I have zero privacy, I share a room with my older brother who uses my bed as well as my things. I am verbally abused for wearing the clothes that I wear. My parents have not bought food for me in the past few months, and when they have it is not usually compatible, so I can’t make it into an actual meal. Due to that I have to buy my own groceries which are usually eaten by my siblings. I have to replace my own clothes because my mom spends money that should be spent on my clothing on things for her entertainment. My sister steals my clothing and very rarely is it returned, so I end up only having one outfit. I haven’t been able to see a dentist in a couple years because my parents basically abandoned me in my own home. Even worse, they made me their source for their needs to be met. I became the person who drove my sister home from school and went grocery shopping. But the second that I suggest that I can take care of myself, my parents watch my movements on LIFE360 to control what I’m doing and where I’m doing it. I am treated completely unfairly and it becomes my fault. I tried to get to my room when my mother blocked me into a corner and it nearly pushed her over, and it resulted in her punching me twice in the back causing bruising down my right shoulder, and it was my fault because my mom has bad balance. I need to find a way out of here as soon as possible without hurting myself financially, so what do I do?

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  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. Asking for help is really brave and takes a lot of strength. Home is supposed to be somewhere safe and you deserve to feel supported. Hitting or beating of any kind is not okay and it is never your fault. From what you share, your father has definitely been creating a toxic home environment and it is understandable you would be feeling overwhelmed by everything.

    It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    Your parents are supposed to make you feel comfortable at home and from what you shared they are not doing that. One option that you do have is to report the issues at home. A child abuse report can get a caseworker involved. After making a report, a caseworker will likely come to your home to talk to you and your parents to decide if it is safe for you there. This can be a scary decision to make and you do not need to make it alone. If you want to know more about the reporting process or you would like to start the report, you can call the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or go to https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/. Additionally we are here by phone and chat 24/7 to listen and help.

    If you feel that you are in danger, you can call 911 for emergency services. In the event that you leave home without permission to get somewhere safe, your dad can file a police report. You would not be arrested or get into legal trouble, but if the police know where you are they might return you home. Your safety is a priority for us and we want to help you figure out your next steps. We are available 24/7 to help by phone (1-800-786-2929) and online chat service. Do not hesitate to reach out any time so that we can better help you.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 soon to be 17. My family is very disfunctional. I'm the oldest of three and basically raise them. I cook, clean, and wake them up for school. Recently things have been getting worse. They keep making me feel worthless and like I'm hated. My father told his friends I can be beat like a grown woman if I can raise my voice like one. My depression causes my sleeping and eating to be horrible along side my suicidal thoughts. I want to run away but fear that if they find me they will hurt me. Please help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

    Sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home with your mom and you have a plan to leave. It's smart to think of ways to try to defuse the situation with your mom. It is also smart to include your stepdad in on the situation to try to help with diffusing your mom's reaction. If there are any other supportive adults who have influence over your mom, you might try to include them all in on this conversation. You mentioned that you want to leave without being hit, and your safety is the most important thing through all of this. You know your mom best, so you might try to avoid any option that has the potential for you to be hurt. You might try to get an idea of she would feel about you moving out early. The easiest way you can leave at 17 is with her permission, so if possible you might try to make sure she would not be okay with it before going to those lengths to leave without her knowing. It can help to write a heartfelt letter and not be there when she reads it if you worried about your safety as well.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat.

    We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 17 from Massachusetts, my bio dads been out out of the picture for quite some time and my mother has issues she hasent gotten help for and takes them out on me at the house. its become a situation i cant stay in anymore. my dad (not bio, technically step dad but hes be here since i was 4) is on board with my plan and is willing to help me talk to my mom. i have a friend in florida that has a room ready for me, im saving up money and i wanna leave at the end of the year. my moms not a very stable person when someone does domething she disagees with and im scared shes gonna call the cops to bring me back home. is there anything i can say to her when i tell her to maybe defuse the situation a little? my best case senario rn is that i leave without being hit and she doesnt bring legalities into it. is there anything i can do if she does?

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are living in such an intense household where it sounds like nobody is very happy. It makes sense for you want to leave that kind of environment and it makes sense that you do not want to stay in a state facility.

    While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaway youths. It is our understanding that running away is NOT illegal. You will not be arrested for it or charged with anything if you do run away. However, if you choose to do so, your mom can file a runaway report with the police. This would allow the police to notify her and return you to her if you encountered them. If you stay with a friend, your mom would have the option of trying to charge them with harboring a runaway. Typically, this is considered a misdemeanor offense and treated with a fine and it requires your mom to actively pursue charges.

    If you have any other questions or need anything clarified, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    17 in 5 months wants to run away


    Hi,im from California and am going to be 17 in 5 months, i dont think i can wait that long. Me amd my mother dont get along and it gets physical between us two on both ends as well as verbally abusive on both ends as well. My mother wont keep me home if i dont want to stay but she would put me in a state facility. A place i DO NOT want to go under any circumstances. If i do choose ro runaway it would be to Montana. So i guess my question is if i runway will i be arrested or charged in either state? And if i stay with a friend who has a place will he be charged for hardoring a runway? Hes 18.

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad has made your living conditions so miserable. If your dad has a substance problem and is not providing you with a safe and sanitary place to live, that could be considered neglect- a form of abuse. It might be in your best interest to file an abuse report if you would like to leave. You can learn more about that process or file such a report by calling out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. We can also look for transitional living programs in your area that may be able to house you. If you would like to talk about either option or whatever other options that may exist, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So i been living with my dad and i don't want to anymore.i can't take it. He is constantly drinkimg and we have bed bugs.now cuz of him... I hate bugs.. Please someome help me
    im 17

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you shouldn't be berated and treated with malice by your family. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. You mentioned that your family has told you that you need to leave and find elsewhere to stay. If they do ever kick you out of the home it can be considered neglect and you have the right to report this to Child Protective Services. If this happens and you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

    We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home without your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned to your parents.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 and live in Tennessee. My family blames me for everything and makes me feel like I am a terrible person all around, when no one else thinks of me this way. They barade me with hate and make me feel like I’m not welcome or loved. I’m even told that I need to leave and find somewhere else to stay. I have my own job, and have had this job for almost a year. I don’t graduate for another year, but I don’t want to live with my family anymore. Would I get into any trouble for living with a friend, boyfriend, etc. without my parents permissin? Can I move out legally?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for your message. It sounds like you’re in a very difficult situation. You don’t deserve to be abused in any way and it’s understandable that you would want to leave that situation. We’re glad that you have someone you’ll be able to stay with. You asked about leaving home once you get your diploma. We aren’t legal experts here, but very generally speaking, your mom could file a runaway report with local police if you leave. The police are generally supposed to look for you, but as an almost-18 year old in a large city, it may not be a top priority for the police to bring you home. If it comes to it, you might also consider calling CCBYS (comprehensive community-based youth services); this referral line can get you in touch with a social services agency that will send a crisis worker to meet you within two hours. That number is 1-877-870-2663. Again, thank you so much for reaching out. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 if you need any support, resources, or just someone to talk to. We wish you the very best. Stay strong and stay safe!
    Sincerely,
    NRS
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