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17 year old wants to move out

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. Generally we try to be non-directive as its really hard to make a decision on the behalf of someone else and it is empowering to make their own decisions. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.
    Thank you, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    You should be careful about the 17 year old man and call someone for help

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    im 17 and i want to move out, im waiting for job corps to come but im just about given up on school and living at home is difficult because ive broken so many rules and my parents are constantly mad at me and i still cant get things right. Where could i go?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out for help around this. And don't worry about rambling-- lots of info is helpful so we can help you make an informed choice.

    It sounds like your friend has been in an environment that hasn't been validating her feelings, or making her emotional safety a priority. It's fortunate she has someone like you on her side caring for her as much as you can.

    If she is 17, your friend is still technically considered a minor in Michigan and cannot legally live on her own, nor with you/your family without parental consent. Your mom could be charged with harboring a runaway if your friend stays with you before she is 18. Emancipation can be a tricky and lengthy process, and you do usually need to be able to provide you can financially support yourself.

    It might be worth seeing if your friend wants to file an abuse report about what's been going on at home-- regarding both verbal and physical abuse. A teacher or school counselor you trust could help you, or you could chat or call with us (1-800-RUNAWAY or 1800runaway.org). It might result in a check-in at home that could help her family realize the severity of what she's been experiencing.

    Lastly, here is the information for two transitional living programs (or TLPs) in the state of Michigan, where she might be able to stay for an extended period of time if she felt it would be a good fit. Note that some may require parental consent:
    www.alternativesforgirls.org/
    https://arborcircle.org/programs-services/

    You or your friend can reach out to us again by this forum, email, chat, or call for more support as you work through this.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, my friend turns 17 in november and wants to move out by then! We are in Michigan.

    sorry i ramble a lot!

    Backstory?:
    -----------------

    Her family life is on and off, her stepmom gaslights, and is emotionally and mentally abusive (really only to my friend and not her siblings) Her dads really nice but goes on her stepmoms side because it calms her down and she threatens to leave otherwise

    For example, my friend used to SH and when her stepmom found out, her mom was only worried on what family would think and never asked if she was okay. Only told her to hide it.

    Another example is she was sexually assaulted at 14 by a 17 year old, and once she finally told her stepmom years later, Her mom called her a slut and said shes lying.

    Her stepmom has hit her before and gave her bruises- and even a black eye once but it doesnt happen often enough for me to want to say shes outright physically abusive




    Main part here:
    -----------------------
    She has a job, it may not be enough to live on her own as of yet because she gets payed 9.90 an hour. But she wants to move in with me and my mom anyways.

    My mom knows some of my friends at home life, and said she could move in when she turns 18 and could take the extra bedroom. My moms supportive of her leaving there to stay with us.

    Her mom totally wouldnt agree to emancipation, and her dad im not too sure but he probably wouldnt either- saying that she has enough there and there isnt a reason for her to leave

    She wants to leave so she can have freedom, Ive known her since we were in 5th grade now we are in 11th. Gradually ive been seeing her less and less. I only get to see her a couple times a month now, and since she can only have her phone when shes at school or work and never while at home, we barely talk and she has to email me on her laptop to even talk to me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello I’m #160 and I wanted to add something else. I don’t have a phone cause they’ve taken it away and I can only access my email and/or Snapchat

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hey, I’m 17 and live in Colorado I’m living in a abusive household so I wanna run away and I could go with my boyfriend but he’s in Houston. No one in my house wants me here so really what’s keeping me here I’m just scared of what could happen if I do leave my house.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, I’m 17 and have two months to make a decision. I can either wait and have my parents find out that I’m failing all my classes because of the stress that they cause where they will sell my car that I paid for and make me quit my job, or will send me to alternative school and out me to my entire family. I have the resources and money to live on my own but am too scared to leave. Is there anything that I can do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out, we hope to help as best we can. Although it is very helpful that your boyfriends father is onboard, it only takes one parent to file a runaway report with the police station. How police respond may vary. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation.
    We have noticed that once a youth is almost 18, police seem to be more lenient but again this can vary from one department to the next. It may help if the father informs police that he is okay with his son leaving and that he is safe where he is.
    Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. Police tend to be pretty open to answering these questions.

    Please reach out to us via chat or phone if you would like to discuss in further detail. We wish you the best of luck!

    Stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend who lives in ********** wants to move out and move in with my family in ********** once he finishes high school at the end of May (he won’t be 18 until four months later.) His father thinks that that would be good for him and wants him to get out of the house away from his very manipulative and controlling mother, but she doesn’t want him to move out until he is 18. Would he need to have both parents’ consent to move in with my family out of state, or would just his father’s consent be enough?
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 08-31-2021, 07:30 AM. Reason: confidentiality

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks you for reaching out to us, we hope to help as best we can. It sounds like home with your father has been pretty overwhelming. Here is some information we hope will be helpful.

    In regards to possibly leaving before you turn 18, 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    On the other hand, if you were to leave once you’ve turned 18, you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Once you’re 18 your father cannot do anything about where you choose to live. He can try to make a missing person’s report for you but the point of a missing person’s report is to ensure you are safe and not being forced to do anything, if you are found to be okay police would then leave you alone.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello, this is my first time reaching out on this site, and I’m hoping to get some advice. For a bit of a backstory, I’m currently 17, turning 18 in six months, and living in northern California. I live with my single father, and am still in my last year of high school. Things at home are less than favorable, my father is incredibly controlling, verbally abusive, and occasionally violent. At 17, I have never been allowed to get a job (he refuses to sign the work permit), or even begin to work towards my driver’s license. I’m very rarely allowed to leave the house without him, with the exception of school, and he has cameras both indoors and outdoors to ensure I don’t leave. I have on many occasions told him that I am very uncomfortable with the interior cameras but he refuses to take them down or even turn them off during the day. He claims this is due to fear of a break in, which I honestly don’t believe. We live in a very small town and the worst crime I’ve seen anywhere near us is some kids setting off car alarms. I’ve expressed my want to leave several times, however unfortunately he believes I am to immature to be capable of moving out on my own, and threatened to report me as missing if I attempt to leave after I’m 18. There’s far more, but this is already getting extremely long. I know that I unfortunately cannot leave for another six months, but is there anything he can do once I am 18? I’ll still be attending high school, but I have a safe place to stay with one of my closest friends and the means to travel to and from school. I’m desperate to just have some sort of freedom and the ability to be independent from him. Is there any sort of legal trouble he could get me into after I move out?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us. It is not okay for your mother to shame you, talk down to you or to physically harm you. It sounds like she is taking her stress and anger out on you which is not fair. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported.

    While we are not legal experts, but we can speak generally on your question about moving out. Your mother is your legal guardian until you turn 18 which means she is legally responsible for you and can control where you live. If you leave without permission, she can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your mom can ask police to return you home if she knows where you are staying. Now, there is not a universal way that police respond to runaway reports. In some cases police are more lenient with someone who is close to turning 18 and might not force you back home. You can call your local police department's non-emergency line to speak with an officer about this and what they might do if you choose to move out. Some helpful questions to ask are if they would even take a runaway report considering you are 17 years old and if an officer would have to return you home even though you have a safe place to stay.

    We hope this information helps. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore your possible options, please do not hesitate to contact us directly. We are available 24/7 for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I live in texas and turn 17 , on August 22nd . I have been wanting to move out the past 4 years due to how my mom treats me . Shes a single parent so i try to understand but constantly being called b****es and h**s because i lost my virginity. She will literally swing and fight me like a female off of the street . Ruins my mental state , spreads lies about me to my family and makes them look at me in certain ways . Tells me i wont make it anywhere in life and that i need to quit my extra curricular activities bc i wont make it anywhere . Buys me stuff that i dont ask for then gets mad at me because she brought it . I cry atleast once a week for the same stuff , over and over , constantly have tried cutting . I even told her and she dared me to do it again . After choking me up against the wall , and i was 14 or 15 ! Constantly compares me to my father , if i make one mistake ima. dirty f*** up “ just like him “ , I have somewhere i can move to , with my friend and her parents . I would still go to the same school and be able to go to college and my friend spoke to counselors about my situation for me because i can never get it all out because i end up crying . She said I could move out at 17 as long as i continue going to school and keeping my gpa high . I just want to know if it thats true because i plan on leaving as soon as my birthday hits.

    Leave a comment:

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