17 year old wants to move out

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hi im Danielle. I'm 17 years old


Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18.

The easiest way to leave home is with your guardian’s permission. We understand that might be challenging.
In most states 18 years old is the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. A person under the age of 18 leaving home without permission, a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city.

Generally speaking, a minor that encounters a police officer while reported as a runaway, may likely be detained until they can be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. A good way to find out the laws in your area is to call the non-emergency number of your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.
You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Does that make sense?

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
If you would like to speak more about your situation please contact us.
To contact NRS call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or live chat with us at www.1800Runaway.org

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My 17 year old son who will be 18 in 5 months is living with father in AZ I his mother have custody of my son. But he has been living with dad for 3 years now and spending all school vacations in CA with me and his younger brother. My 17 year old is extremely unhappy there he should be out with friends or other things kids do instead he spends everyday after school on the phone with his brother and I we put him on speaker and bring him whever we go and we do this for hours everyday. His father is physically and verbally abusive to his new wife who also has ason of her ownwho is 5. Its hard for my son to listen and watch this so he is constanly stepping in between them. This has made an already tense relationship between him and his father worse. He has made up his mind that he wants to come back to CA with me. He has told his dad this and I have also trying talking with his dad. But his decided that he wont let him go. He has pretty much threaten him that he wont let him leave. I cant bear my son being so unhappy and the desperate crying pleads he makes to me to get him out of there. I cant really afford to go to AZ myself and than both of us come back. I m desperate for some advise on how to handle this situation and quickly for my sons sake.

[ccsmod7]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out. This sounds like a really stressful situation, especially since it sounds like you have been dealing with this a long time. We are not legal experts, but we do have a lot of experience and information in this area. It sounds like you have joint custody of your child with your husband. Depending on that, it could be within your rights to have your son back. Because we are not legal experts reaching out to a lawyer would probably get you more information. One option is to just google search “lawyers in my area”. You could also call us with more specific information (like your city and state) and we can look through options like that together if you feel comfortable. Feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 anytime.

This is a really frustrating situation, and it is totally understandable to feel desperate, especially for advice. One good national resource is Team HOPE. They are a hotline specifically for parents, and can offer as many suggestions as they have for those in similar situations. Their number is 1-866-305-4673, and they are a great resource for information and just somehow who understands what is going on.

It sounds like one of the problems is getting your son from AZ to CA. We do have options for traveler’s aid, but we would need to talk to your son directly. Also, if your son would want to call us we could go over specific options or create a plan for the next time his dad is abusive.

Feel free to call us or email us anytime if you want to talk more. And please pass along our number to your son, and we can see if there are specific resources in his area to help. We are here 24/7, to listen and help.

Thanks

[Guest]

I am 17, transgender, being emotionally abused and thinking of running away to a friend's house. I was led to believe that if I went to their house, and the police were called, that they would not force me to go home. I live in Massachusetts, I just need to know if that is correct. I turn 18 in April, but I don't think I can wait until then..

[ccsmod2]

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that you are being emotionally abused at home. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Talking to someone that you could relate to may help. Trans Lifeline (1-877-565-8860) is a great resource for people that are transgender to discuss issues that they have experienced. Although emotional abuse is hard to prove, you do have the option of reporting the abuse to Child Protective Services or Child Help (1-800-422-4453). Since you are under 18, your parents have the right to file a runaway report on you. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home your parents. Your friend could also get in trouble for harboring a runaway if you decided to stay with them. However, some police departments do not accept runaway reports on 17 year old's. You could find out by contacting your local police non-emergency police department. If you don’t feel comfortable contacting the police, we can call for you. Please feel free to contact us directly (1-800-786-2929) if you have any other questions or concerns.

[Guest]

If my seventeen-year-old daughter has been gone for more than 20 days with a 19 year old boy is she considered a runaway in the state of Mississippi

[ccsmod16]

Hello, thanks for reaching out to NRS. It must be a really scary time for you with your 17 year old daughter having been gone for so long. We are here to support you and offer resources to help find her. We are 24/7 so call us anytime: 1-800-786-2929. We are not legal experts, but as far as we are aware, the legal age of adulthood in Mississippi is 20, so based on this, both your daughter and the boy she left with could be considered runaways. If you would like to file a runaway report, you can call your local non-emergency police number and do so with them. Once a report is filed, if the police come into contact with your daughter, they usually return her home. Some departments handle runaways differently, so please ask how your local police handle things.
Additional resources that may be helpful are the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC): 1-800-843-5678 missingkids.com. NCMEC also has a hotline for parents and families of missing children where others who have or have had missing children answer the phone. This may be a good support system for you as this must be an extremely difficult time for you right now. It is called Team Hope: 1-866-305-4673. They may be able to help you brainstorm more ideas for how to find your daughter as well.
Please call us anytime. We are here to support you through this difficult time and can help you brainstorm different ideas for finding your daughter and getting her home. Call us anytime: 1-800-RUNAWAY! Best of luck in finding your daughter!

[Guest]

17 and wanting to get away.

Hello, I'm 17 and living in Texas, I'm 10 months from turning 18. I'm trying to hold out until I'm 18, but due to hardships, my mom not able to be home, and my dad's currently untreated ptsd, my home life is almost explosively stressful. It's gotten so bad in the past that I have attempted suicide multiple times. Now, I have a place to run away to, but it's with a friend who is in their 20s and lives in Florida. They're willing to pay for my ticket there and everything, but we're worried about the legality of if I have to go before turning 18. What should I do?

[ccsmod15]

17 and wanting to get away.

Hello, I'm 17 and living in Texas, I'm 10 months from turning 18. I'm trying to hold out until I'm 18, but due to hardships, my mom not able to be home, and my dad's currently untreated ptsd, my home life is almost explosively stressful. It's gotten so bad in the past that I have attempted suicide multiple times. Now, I have a place to run away to, but it's with a friend who is in their 20s and lives in Florida. They're willing to pay for my ticket there and everything, but we're worried about the legality of if I have to go before turning 18. What should I do?

RE:

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here. It sounds like things are overwhelming at home and you're wanting a break from it all. We're sorry to hear that it has intensified at home. It sounds like you might be feeling alone and unsupported with the hardships you mentioned. You shared that it's gotten so bad that you've attempted suicide. Your are important and your life matters. Although times are extremely difficult, please remember that they are temporary. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is a helpful resource to reach out to if you are currently experiencing any suicidal thoughts.

You mentioned you have an older friend in another state and you're wondering about what may happen if you decide to leave. We cannot speak definitively as we are not legal experts, but state runaway laws vary in Texas and Florida. Your parent/guardian may choose to file a runway report with local police if you were to run away in which police may return you home. Runaway laws across state lines may be different as well, but generally individuals who harbor runaway minors may face legal consequences. If your state accepts runaway reports, then that may impact what could happen.

Often it is helpful to call your non-emergency police department (usually the information line or the local police department office phone number) to ask what would happen. Often you can just ask without giving any specific, personal information. Legal aid offices might be able to answer some of those questions too.

Talking things out with someone is often most helpful too. Perhaps you have other family members or friends in the area that you might be able to stay with or at least talk to? We are always here for you by phone or chat if you would like to explore your options more.

Stay strong and be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hello,
Im a 17 year old wanting to move out with my 19 year old boyfriend. My family is very controling and now i cant see my boyfriend and cant talk to him. Im emotionally and mental abused but they lie to people saying its a lie. When a cop showed up they got into his head and lied saying nothing happened and all the kids in house are scared to be sent away so they lied to. They are very rude when others are not around but when people are they are nice. My mom and her boyfriend get into physical fights and her boyfriend makes her believe its her fault. They also drink and smoke pot around us and i cant leave the house without an adult. All my friends worry about me and i just want to know in indiana can i leave the house at my age my birthday is in november. Im also looking for a job. I just need advice and soon because im tired of the suisidal thoughts.

[ccsmod7]

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to be able to contact us about what you are going through personally. It sounds like you are in a very tough situation that is very stressful to handle on a daily basis. No one deserves to be mentally or emotionally abused in any way. No one should have to go through suicidal thoughts as well. If you wish to talk about these thoughts you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

You mentioned that you are 17 years old and would like to live with your boyfriend who is 19 years old. If you do decide to run away, you could technically be given the status offence as a runaway. Because you are not of the age of majority, your parents could file a run-away report as well. It might be helpful to think of other options as well. Is there a counselor or close friend you can speak to about what is going on at home? Are you able to take care of yourself emotionally if you do stay at your current residence? You can always call the National Runaway Safeline to talk about the situation as well. We are always available 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If you do decide to run away, we can help you with your plan and finding shelters. If running away is the best option for you, it might be helpful to think about how you are going to take care of yourself and what could happen to whomever you decide to stay with. If you stay with your boyfriend during this time while you are 17, he can run into legal issues for technically harboring a runaway. The decision is ultimately up to you to make in regards to what would be best for you.

Please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800- RUNAWAY. We are here to help in the best ways possible.

-NRS

[Guest]

I’m a 17 year old in Michigan. My mom has acted in a horrendous manner since me and my twin were 9, but two weeks ago, she sent us these texts saying she was leaving for good. She said she was walking away just like my father did (she means when my parents divorced). She only came back when my father promised to pay for a vacation for her, but she comes sometimes during the day but doesn’t sleep or enter the house when my sister and I are in the house. My father lives in Ecuador, but both mentally and financially, he would be a better guardian and he would love to be our legal guardian. While I love my father, my sister and I are Juniors in High School. Mine in particular is a very special school with education I wouldn’t be able to receive in Ecuador. My sister and I want to move out and my father says he will support us, get us an apt., etc. My question is, is it legal for my twin sister and I to live alone at 17 (with our father’s consent)? And would it be possible for my mom to make trouble for us or call the police (btw, she is a law school graduate)? Also, would us living on our own reflect badly on us (in terms of collage admissions and stuff)

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It sounds like you are definitely in a dilemma right now, but it is good to hear that you and your sibling have the support of your father both financially and mentally. It is great that he is willing to support you even though he lives so far away. We are sorry to hear that your mom is not present like she should be, we understand how that can be difficult and disappointing.

We are not legal experts and your situation seems like a complicated one. As far as we know, if a legal guardian gives you permission to live on your own you may be able to. But if your mom had custody of you it may be up to her what happens. This is a tricky situation, so it may be best to call out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 as they may have some answers about custody and you living on your own with your sibling as minors.

We do not believe this could reflect badly in terms of college admissions, but again we do not know much about schools and the way things work there. You can always talk to a school counselor about these types of things, as they may have a more specific answer.

If you need anything else please feel free to reach out to us anytime. You can call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way we can.

[Guest]

I am senior and will graduate in May. By June I’ll be 18 and I plan to move out to an apartment in town. My boyfriend is a year behind me in school and will be 17 soon. When I move out is he able to come and live with me? His home life is rocky and his parents are very controlling. He didn’t go home after school one day and within just a few hours the police were calling me asking if I knew where he was. So he has been reported a runaway once before, but he was 16. Will it change when he’s 17? His stepdad is also getting charged for assulting him, and he lives in the same home. His parents don’t want us dating and he’s afraid once I graduate his parents won’t let him see me. Will he be forced home again if he leaves? Will something worse happen if he’s reported as a runaway for a second time? Could I get into any trouble for being 18 and having him stay with me? We live in Fairbanks Alaska

[ccsmod3]

Hello there,

Thanks for reaching to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going on. You are asking some really great questions and are being thoughtful about how you are moving forward with regards to yourself and also your boyfriend.

We are legal experts , but at 17, your boyfriend is still considered a minor, his parents are still responsible him and would have the right to file a police report if he left without permission. If he left with permission (written permission) then he could stay with you without legal consequences. If he does leave without permission, then the parents still have the right to file a police report and at 17 we see how the police respond vary due to the age. We encourage you to reach out the local police department non-emergency line and ask if they take reports at 17. If they do take reports, they most likely will return him back home in they find him at your place. The charges don’t get worse, only if he commits a crime as understand any circumstances.

Parents can press charges against the people who are housing a running away, with something that is called harboring. They would have to hire a lawyer and take you to court, which we don’t see very often, escpecially when the person housing the runaway is cooperative with police. If you want more information on legal resource in your area.
We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

Tell us what you think about your experience!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi I am 17 y/o but I decided to move out with parent consent.
However I would like to finish my highschool degree. Can my parent unenroll me even tho I would like to stay in school ?

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thanks for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline with your concerns. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

As you have probably already read the multiple other threads that we have posted here on the forum board you should know that we are not legal experts. Generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority, your parents would be able to make a runaway report and the police will be able to bring you back home. If you left the city or even the state while on the run, the report will likely follow you. If your parents filed you as a runaway, the report will be entered into the NCIC. That is a national database for missing people and runaways that law enforcement use. You also asked about being unenrolled in school and unfortunately, we do not have a lot of information on that subject. We have heard that some parents do unenrolled their children if they run and if they want to enroll again as a minor they will need their parents cooperation. So it certainly depends on how your parents will react to you leaving and how far they might go to bring you back.

We hope that this information helps you.

[Guest]

I am a 17 year old girl I will be 18 in about 3 months, But I need to get out of my house. My house is a very toxic place my mother hides things from my dad which then my younger brother blackmails my mom with and it is a mess. Im sick of all the lies and blackmailing, my dad doesn't know half the stuff my mom lets my brother do he has a room downstairs that has a door that leads to the back yard, i know he sneaks out and sneaks people in and drinks and does other stuff but my parents think he's an angle. But my boyfriend and his mom would let me move in, would it be ok if I did with out their permission or can I get in A lot of trouble.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, but we hope we can help you with some information.

You ask if it is okay for you to move in with your boyfriend and his mom. As a 17 year old, you are still a minor, meaning you are required to live with your parents or guardians unless they give you specific permission to live elsewhere. If you left home as a minor, your parents or guardians could file a runaway report with the police. This means if the police find you or pick you up, they will take you back home. There is also the possibility that your parents could press charges against your boyfriend and his mom for harboring a runaway.

If you do decide to leave home, and decide that staying with your boyfriend is not ideal, we can refer you to shelters in your area. Just give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we can find a shelter you may be able to stay at for a few nights.

If running away is not the best decision for you, maybe there are things you can do at home to make living there easier. Some people find it helpful to take up a part-time job or after-school activity to keep them out of their home for longer periods of time. Others find talking to a friend, family member, therapist, or school counselor helpful.

We hope that this information is helpful for you during this hard time. Please give us a call if you have any questions or want to talk more.

If you have a minute, please take some time to let us know how our services were today!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi I’m ****, I’m 17 and live in California. My home life is very rough and stressful, I am not allowed to work because I am behind in school due to the past year being filled with surgeries. I am doing an online credit recovery but my single mother is a very controlling, selfish, hard headed person. She doesn’t let me go out at nights, I can’t take the bus, i can’t do anything. She is extremely over protective. I have never given her a reason to be that way, have never partook in any kind of substances. I would like to move in with my lifelong friends family so I may continue doing school and start working. If I were to pack up and leave what would police do? I do not want to get emancipated because I’m pretty siren I’ll be 18 by then, so would I or my friends family get in trouble for aiding a “runaway”.

[ccsmod10]

Hi Nate!

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and telling us about what is going on.

It sounds like you’ve been going through tough times. We can’t imagine how stressful you must feel after going through surgeries and then having to be stuck at home. We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you.

Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. It can be a little tricky at the age of 17, but there are some cases in which a police officer won't take a runaway report for someone that is 17. This is not the case all the time of course, but it is something that we have heard of happening before. But something to keep in mind is that though a police officer doesn't take a report it doesn't make it legal for you to leave home before you turn 18. Now considering that you are two months away from turning 18 yourself, there’s a great possibility that they won’t take the runaway report. The only way to know for sure of that would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police and asking them hypothetical questions about running away. Once you turn 18 years old, and there was a runaway report made when you were a minor, you would call the local police and let them know you aren’t missing. If the police do take the runaway report and come across you, they do have the right to bring you home, because you’re a minor until you’re 18. Either way, you can’t be arrested for running away, nor does it show on your record once you turn 18.


We hope our response is helpful. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Hi my name is Dylan and I am wanting to move out at the age of 17 due to my relationship with my parents. My question is could I get arrested if I left but my parents tell me to leave and if the cops pick me up then they will deiny telling me to leave. How could I prove that. I turn 18 in October of 2018

[ccsmod11]

Hi Dylan,

Thanks for reaching out to us in this difficult time. We hope we can help.

We’re not legal experts, but from what we know, if a youth runs away, it’s very unlikely that runaway youth would get arrested. Running away is usually considered a status offense, and youth who run away from home and are caught by police are usually just returned home. If you were kicked out of your home by your parents, you could tell police that before your parents try to falsify a runaway report. In many areas, kicking a kid out of their home is considered neglect, and can carry legal consequences. If you tell the police that you were kicked out of your home after a runaway report has already been filed on you, we honestly are not sure what would happen. Different police departments often follow different policies for runaway youth, and you may wish to directly call out to your non-emergency police to ask more directly what might happen. We can do this for you too if you call us at 1-800-786-2929.

We hope this response was helpful!** We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum.** Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: **https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

HELP
I'm currently 16, a sophomore in High-school. I'm looking to move out and rent an apartment at 17, to get away from sexual abuse in the home. How do I go about this legally? I'm planning on getting 1-3 jobs this summer and really working my butt off to get the money I need. I know that if I ask my parents about moving out at 17 or 18, they'll put me down and tell me, "No Way".
I just want to leave already, because the more I stay here, the more I feel myself slipping into a deeper and darker depression.
What do I do? Honestly I've looked up everything. I can rent an apartment at 17, as long as I have my parent's as co-signers. I'm running out of ideas.

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. It sounds like you shown so much strength by willing to work really hard to get what you need!

If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online. If you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help.

We’re not legal experts, but generally there are three ways to leave home before being a legal adult: with parent permission, if there is abuse in the home, or through emancipation (a legal process where a youth is given the rights of an adult; this can sometimes be a long and expensive process). We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

You mentioned some struggles with depression and mental health concerns. If you want further information about mental health resources, you could check out the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA); 1-877-726-4727; samhsa.gov; findtreatment.samhsa.gov/.

If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. You could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between you and your parents.

There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

Hi, I'm a soon to be 17 year old in Indiana looking to move to Michigan. I won't have parent permission but I will have a safe home to move to there and I read that Michigan law protects 17 year old runaways. I wasn't sure if that would protect me or not.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We aren't legal experts, but most likely the laws that may be more relevant for you are the ones of the state that you runaway from as the police report will be filed in Indiana. We have heard that Michigan is less pursuant with 17 years old, but may not be the case with Indiana. We would encourage you to reach out to your local non-emergency numbers and ask them what they protocol's are for 17 year old runaways are in there state. If you want us to support you through that call, we can if you want by reaching out to us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

-NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

Tell us what you think about your experience!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think