17 year old wants to move out

[Guest]

Hi I would like to move out because everyday I get bullied by my parents that's I'm fat or I'm not good enough every single day and it tears me apart I just want to die or run away

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline in such a difficult time.

It is strong and brave of you to reach out. It sounds like you are having problems at home, and are under a lot of stress right now. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, you should call us at the NRS right away, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You should know you have the right to feel safe at home. No one should be bullied for any reason, anytime.

We’re not legal experts here at the NRS, but can give you some general information. In most states, if you’re under the age of 18, you are under your parents responsibility. If you leave home without your parent’s permission, they can file a runaway report with the police. The police response can vary, especially as you get closer to 18. The best way to know how they would respond is to call the local police non-emergency number and ask them. The call can be confidential, and if you call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we can help you with that.

We want you to be safe, if you are thinking about leaving home there is a lot to think about. First, you need a safe place to stay, and a way to support yourself. School may be a concern, and you would need to take some basics with you, like identification, clothes and other things.

It can really help to talk over these issues with a friend, family member, or counselor. You can call us here at the NRS on our 24/7 safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or chat with us during chat hours. We can help you think through your options, recommend resources, and develop a plan. We’ll look forward to hearing from you soon, and best of luck in working through all this.

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I live in New Jersey right now. I am a single 17 year old just looking for new experiences. I'm about to graduate high school in a few weeks but I won't turn 18 till December. However, I want to move to California and pursue a career there before October. My parents constantly annoy me and I just want to live my life through experience. Do I have to wait till I'm 18 before I can do anything or am I good now as a 17 year old. And also, just wondering where I could live in california because I know I can't lease an apartment there till I am 18.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. Hopefully by supporting you there are other that are reading through this thread that can relate can feel helped as well.

Now like you might have read on our other threads is that we aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Many times when reaching out to police or local law enforcement they will tell us that no matter how close a youth is till turning 18 they can still be reported as a runaway.

Since it might come down to you not being able to find a stable place to live or an apartment that will rent at a 17 year old, what would your overall plan be (i.e long term housing, transportation, financial stability, access to food/clothes, school, etc.)? Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing it might be a good idea so that you can think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t.

If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

[Guest]

I am a 17-year-old living in Minnesota and want to move out. My parents are divorced. My mother and I are constantly arguing all the time.Sometimes my stepdad even gets involved in the argument. None of the arguments have become violent, except for only one time and that was almost a year ago. She has implied many times that I sleep with multiple guys and that that's the reason why most of my friends are guys. My father is not financially stable for me to live with him. He lives with his mother, my grandmother, and his brother. My best friends mother has told me multiple times that I am always welcome to live with them. I want to move out really bad. I am tired of living like I mean nothing to my mother and thinking that I am such a huge disappointment to her. I want to move in with my best friend and her mother, but I don't want my mom to take things overboard and call me in as a runaway or say I was kidnapped. I have been researching different ways on how to handle telling her I want to leave, and also researching legal ways to leave. I just don't know which one is for me. I am scared to talk to my mom about moving out. I don't really want to get involved with the legal side of things, but I'm sure it will happen. Any advice?

[ccsmod15]

Hi,

Reaching out for help can be difficult and we are really glad you messaged us. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. You do not deserve to feel like you mean nothing. Leaving home can be a big decision and it is really helpful that you have already spent some time looking in to different options and possible consequences.

We are not legal experts and runaway laws can vary from city to city. In the state of Minnesota you are considered a minor until you are 18. While you are still 17 if you were to leave home and your mom was to get the police involved there can be legal consequences for both you and those that are taking you in. If you have legal questions you can always call the non-emergency police number for your neighborhood. While we are not legal experts we can provide additional support and referrals, and are available by phone 24/7 (1-800-786-2929).

It is understandable that you feel scared about talking to your mom about moving out. If you would like support in having this conversation we offer a conference call service where we help facilitate calls between youth and an adult. It sounds like you have a good support network in your friends and in your best friend’s mother. If you do not move out completely, you could look for opportunities to get out of the house for a few hours a day by spending time at friend’s houses or in public places like a library or park.

We are always here to help, do not hesitate to call.

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello I am a 17 year old, I am wanting to leave my parents house. I turn 18 in October. I have 2 jobs I have graduated and I will be going to community college for 2 years then transferring. My parents treat my like a child. They don't allow me to grow up. I have been to therapy over my moms death. My parents are divorcing and its constant hell. My dad doesn't live in the house anymore. I live with my stepmother. This whole arrangement is full of lies. They don't like lying and keeping thigns from them but they tell us to do it to each other. I have had a pretty rough child hood. Is running away illegal;?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to share your situation with us. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and we are glad you did. We are sorry to hear you have had such a rough childhood. The loss of your mother has to be extremely difficult to cope with and now adding the divorce has to be very unsettling.
It sounds like you have done a great job focusing on your responsibilities, which has to be challenging, by graduating, working two jobs and getting ready for community college. You should be very proud of yourself for your work ethic and achievements.
While we can’t offer legal advice, we can tell you that running away is not considered a crime in most states. It is referred to as a status offence; there is a chance that the police could bring you back home if your guardian files a runaway report, but you won’t be arrested.
Have you thought about where you will live? We are here to help 24 hours a day if you would like to call or chat online to explore options or need assistance with resources.

[Guest]

17 I have a job I can support myself already have another place to live.
Parents are divorced
when I'm with my mom it's just hell really and she forced me to get rid of my baby because I ended up getting pregnant. But that's a sore topic. She makes me pay all my medical bills and anything she can make me pay for all we do is argue or she acts like nothing happens and she'll go drink or party out till 3am with her friends and doesn't say anything. She lets the other 17 year old in my house which is my cousin that she adopted do whatever he wants smokes weed cigretes and doesn't have to communicate with her at all he does whatever he wants and even when he supposed to get in trouble he doesn't we are treated completely different and all she does is throw me to the side she pays for all of his medical bills and whatever he needs.
My dads house no he doesn't make me do anything like that but when I'm over there I feel very in welcomed and just very judged all the time they are more focused on there new daughter and what's good for her which is fine I've never gotten along with my step mom along with when I got pregnant he didn't want me around he told me to stay at my moms anything that he doesn't want to deal with he sends me away I'm very hurt and don't wanna do this anymore I wanna run off like I said I have a job along with another place to live already but what I'm wondering is if technically I'm considered an adult in the state of Colorado

[Guest]

My household is a bad environment I'm 17 years old and bisexual my birthday is on October 29 i moved out with my cousins because she doesn't accept me she wants me back if I'm 2 months close to 18 can I legally move out

[ccsmod4]

Reply: My household is a bad environment

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

Technically you are still consider a minor and your parent or guardian can attempt to file a runaway report in an effort to get you back home if you are picked up by police.
However since you are so close to turning 18 the police could decide that you are old enough to move out but that is left up to their discretion.
Keep in mind we are not legal experts and runaway laws can vary from state to state.

One option you might consider to find out the runaway laws in your area is to call the non-emergency number of your local police and ask what their policies and procedures are regarding runaway youth. In particular those close to turning 18. One question you could ask is: Would they make a runaway report and return said person home if picked up?

If you would like to speak more about your situation please contact NRS at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org
We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm. 17 in philly and want to move out my parents house they keep trying to force there religion in me. Its all over the house, I can't even talk about it with my family or my problems to them because they ALWAYS have a way to bring it back to their religion. We use to be close but I don't even know who they are anymore, I'm either being ignored, criticized or I'm in a yelling match with my parents. I never thought I would say it but I hate them and I quit I really want to get away from them they always wonder why I end up with depression and they never realize it's because of THEM! Please tell me there a way for it to be legal

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I'm. 17 in philly

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We are sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time at home.
You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parent’s.

The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Is there a way I could leave before turning 18? I turned 17 last month and ever since I came out its been hell with my mom. I want to go to my girlfriend who's in missouri, I'm all the way in New York. I am working on finding an job so I can go see my gf but idk how much longer I can hold out until then. I always talk about leaving home but I dont have any family or friends I trust enough to move in with. My mother is extremely controlling, and is mad that I talk to my gf and has been calling me disgusting, and retarded and I've been dangerously close to self harming and just leaving home. I dont know what to do here anymore it's been taking a toll on my mental health.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Is there a way i could leave before turning 18?

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your mother’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to her.
The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern.
You do not deserve to be abused in any way and it is not your fault that she is doing this.
If you feel that you might do harm to yourself, consider reaching out to someone instead.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently.
Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees.
We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi! I live in the state of Pennsylvania and I am 17 years old currently. I will be turning 18 in 4 months. I want to leave home to move in with my boyfriend who will be 21. My family is 100% okay with the idea of moving in with him once I turn 18 but I will still be in high school for another 5 months. Can I move out with guardians consent at 18 even if I am still in high school? Like I said, my family is okay with it I just want to be sure nobody would be getting in trouble since I will still be in high school. Thanks in advance.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing a bit about your situation. We hope our response will be helpful!
So you mentioned being 18 in a couple of months and your parents being okay with you moving in with your boyfriend. If your parents give you permission, you should be good to go! Since their legal guardians, they have the power allow you to move out early! If you want to call out to your local police just to make sure, we can conference call with you.
Our safeline is open 24/7, so were always here to help! If you want to explore the option that we talked about with calling the police, don’t hesitate to call into us! Good luck on your move!

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 16 and I live in Texas. Ive been living with my grandparents off and on since before I could walk but here lately I've been living with them full time. I've lived with them for 8th grade and now I'm in 11th. They've paid for my college classes which I take during the school year and summer. I wanna further my education as much as possible. My mom moves in and out my grandparents house overtime she needs a place to stay. So let me give you some background. When I was in 6th grade I was being molested by my older brother, he left me a hicky my mom saw and hit me. I called Child protective services and got taken away and went to court against my brother. When my mom got me back she came to TX I started doing really good so I stayed while she went to Oklahoma. Then she came back and we're always fighting. I just got a job that pays 7.75 which isn't much but its the best I can do balancing that and 4 college classes plus high school classes. My mom wants to move back with my step dad but I hate him and feel unsafe around him. I want to stay with my grandma but Im 16 what can I do. PLEASE HELP

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. It sounds like you are in a pretty difficult situation right now. We are so sorry to hear about what happened in the past with your brother. That was not okay and we are glad you got away from that environment. It is disappointing that you and your mom are always fighting. It is understandable how that must be stressful for you, especially if she is trying to get you to live with someone who you feel unsafe around.

Your situation really depends on who has custody of you. It seems like you've lived with your grandparents full time for a really long time now. One thing you can look into is whether or not custody ever changed while this happened. If they have custody of you or temporary custody of you there is a chance you may still be able to live with them. If your mom still has custody of you your grandparents or you can go to court and try and get custody switched since you have already lived with them for so long.

You can also try filing for emancipation, but that tends to be a trickier process that really differs from state to state. We can definitely talk with you more about emancipation if you call into our hotline!

If you want more resources or just want to talk more about what you're going through please feel free to reach out to us again. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help you out in the best way that we can.

[Guest]

Confused

Hi my name is Marcus and I'm 18. I have a cousin that's in love with this girl and recently started dating her. The girls grandmother now starts to say she wants them to brake up and leave each other alone. I love him very much and I want him to be happy with her. I just learned she may be pregnant and freaking out myself now and have no idea what to do, because they are now saying is her grandmother says no to their relationship they will runaway out here with me and my mom. I want them together but I want to do this the safe way. Can you give me anya advice?

[ccsmod2]

Hi Marcus,
Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your cousin and his girlfriend are thinking about running away because her grandmother does not approve of their relationship. It seems like you really care about your cousin, we are sure that he appreciates your support during this difficult time. You mentioned that his girlfriend might be pregnant, Planned Parenthood is a great resource (1-800-230-7526) for information on reproductive rights for minors, options to consider if she is pregnant. Since they are both minors, their guardians have the right to file a runaway report on them if they decided to leave home. If they police find them in your home, you and your mother could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. However, some states do not accept runaway reports on 17 year olds because they are so close to being 18. One option that they may want to consider is contacting the local police non-emergency number to ask if they take runaway reports on 17 year olds. If they aren’t comfortable calling the police themselves, we can call with them on the line. You could also give your cousin and his girlfriend our contact information, we could provide them with information about running away and resources. We can be contracted through our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.
Good Luck and remember we are always here to listen and help the best way we can.
- NRS

[Guest]

Hi im Danielle. I'm 17 years old and i want to leave my guardian/grandmother's home. I have libed here for four years and she never stops treating me badly. We have gotten into both physical fights and screaming matches. We do not get along at all and she constantly throws my past in my face. I live in Michigan. If i were to leave i would move in with my boyfriend and his parents. Is this legal pr do i have to wait until i am 18 to leave this home?