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17 year old wants to move out

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  • im 17 from Massachusetts, my bio dads been out out of the picture for quite some time and my mother has issues she hasent gotten help for and takes them out on me at the house. its become a situation i cant stay in anymore. my dad (not bio, technically step dad but hes be here since i was 4) is on board with my plan and is willing to help me talk to my mom. i have a friend in florida that has a room ready for me, im saving up money and i wanna leave at the end of the year. my moms not a very stable person when someone does domething she disagees with and im scared shes gonna call the cops to bring me back home. is there anything i can say to her when i tell her to maybe defuse the situation a little? my best case senario rn is that i leave without being hit and she doesnt bring legalities into it. is there anything i can do if she does?


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

      Sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home with your mom and you have a plan to leave. It's smart to think of ways to try to defuse the situation with your mom. It is also smart to include your stepdad in on the situation to try to help with diffusing your mom's reaction. If there are any other supportive adults who have influence over your mom, you might try to include them all in on this conversation. You mentioned that you want to leave without being hit, and your safety is the most important thing through all of this. You know your mom best, so you might try to avoid any option that has the potential for you to be hurt. You might try to get an idea of she would feel about you moving out early. The easiest way you can leave at 17 is with her permission, so if possible you might try to make sure she would not be okay with it before going to those lengths to leave without her knowing. It can help to write a heartfelt letter and not be there when she reads it if you worried about your safety as well.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat.

      We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.


  • I'm 16 soon to be 17. My family is very disfunctional. I'm the oldest of three and basically raise them. I cook, clean, and wake them up for school. Recently things have been getting worse. They keep making me feel worthless and like I'm hated. My father told his friends I can be beat like a grown woman if I can raise my voice like one. My depression causes my sleeping and eating to be horrible along side my suicidal thoughts. I want to run away but fear that if they find me they will hurt me. Please help.


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. Asking for help is really brave and takes a lot of strength. Home is supposed to be somewhere safe and you deserve to feel supported. Hitting or beating of any kind is not okay and it is never your fault. From what you share, your father has definitely been creating a toxic home environment and it is understandable you would be feeling overwhelmed by everything.

      It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 ( is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      Your parents are supposed to make you feel comfortable at home and from what you shared they are not doing that. One option that you do have is to report the issues at home. A child abuse report can get a caseworker involved. After making a report, a caseworker will likely come to your home to talk to you and your parents to decide if it is safe for you there. This can be a scary decision to make and you do not need to make it alone. If you want to know more about the reporting process or you would like to start the report, you can call the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or go to Additionally we are here by phone and chat 24/7 to listen and help.

      If you feel that you are in danger, you can call 911 for emergency services. In the event that you leave home without permission to get somewhere safe, your dad can file a police report. You would not be arrested or get into legal trouble, but if the police know where you are they might return you home. Your safety is a priority for us and we want to help you figure out your next steps. We are available 24/7 to help by phone (1-800-786-2929) and online chat service. Do not hesitate to reach out any time so that we can better help you.

      Be safe,

  • I am still 17, but I want to move out before I turn 18. It would only be a month before I turned 18. I am struggling with financial issues because I’m working a 10 dollar an hour job and have to pay for my own food, gas, insurance, etc. Once I move out I could get a full time job which would allow me to afford the apartment, but I’m scared that the cops would try to take me back home. Honestly I have zero privacy, I share a room with my older brother who uses my bed as well as my things. I am verbally abused for wearing the clothes that I wear. My parents have not bought food for me in the past few months, and when they have it is not usually compatible, so I can’t make it into an actual meal. Due to that I have to buy my own groceries which are usually eaten by my siblings. I have to replace my own clothes because my mom spends money that should be spent on my clothing on things for her entertainment. My sister steals my clothing and very rarely is it returned, so I end up only having one outfit. I haven’t been able to see a dentist in a couple years because my parents basically abandoned me in my own home. Even worse, they made me their source for their needs to be met. I became the person who drove my sister home from school and went grocery shopping. But the second that I suggest that I can take care of myself, my parents watch my movements on LIFE360 to control what I’m doing and where I’m doing it. I am treated completely unfairly and it becomes my fault. I tried to get to my room when my mother blocked me into a corner and it nearly pushed her over, and it resulted in her punching me twice in the back causing bruising down my right shoulder, and it was my fault because my mom has bad balance. I need to find a way out of here as soon as possible without hurting myself financially, so what do I do?


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have a lot going on. It must be hard not having privacy and having your siblings eat all your food and invade your space. It’s understandable that you would want to leave and it’s apparent that you are responsible. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms.
      If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. We appreciate you choosing us to communicate with. If you want to further explore this, don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY. Best of luck!
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