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  • #76
    Please help

    I'm 17 and I live in California. I have nowhere to go and basically no money but I'm failing out of school and I have to go because my parents will hate me so much. If I can't run away my only other option is suicide. What can I do? Where do I go and where can I go and stay safely without cops taking me back and how can I stay safe and smart what do I need? How can I stop cops from even taking me or how can I pick out the wrong people from the right? I really need help and advice on how to survive like this. Please help me please.

    Comment


    • #77
      RE: Please Help

      Hello,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are really worried about what is going to happen if you fail out of school. It must be a lot of stress to worry about school as well as worrying how your parents will handle the news. We understand how you could be feeling like you need to get out. We are not here to tell you what to do, our only concern is that you are safe in what you decide. Running away can be big step and it is great that you have reached out. You are asking some really great questions while trying to figure out what is best for you. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms. Our main concern is that you are safe, we want to support you in what ways we can.

      You mentioned that you are thinking that leaving is the best option for you and you had some really great questions that went along with that. You are the only one that can make that decision, we would like to offer you some general information if you were to leave. Generally you are an adult when you turn 18. If you were to leave without your permission before then, your parents would be able to file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot do it because of your age-not because it is a crime. If you were caught, then the police would bring you back home. Where it does become criminal, is anyone that you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway. You may face more severe consequences, for example if you are probation.

      However, you also stated that you are 17. 17 can be seen as a tricky age and what police will do varies from county to county. Some police departments may not actively search for a 17 year old mean or they evaluate it on a case by case basis. Some police department will force you to return home until the day you turn 18. We recommend that you contact your local police department and ask them how they would handle a 17 year old in your situation.

      You are asking some great questions and it sounds like you have been thinking about this for a while. Safety is our main concern and it sounds like it is for you as well. Shelter is an option that you would be able to go to, however because you are 17 they may need to tell your parents or get permission from them to allow you to stay there. If you refuse to go home, then they may call the police and ask them how they want to handle the situation. Calling your local police and getting some general information may give you more options or allow you to redefine where you want to go or what you can do.

      It sounds like you have been going through this on your own, which can be a tough thing at time. We understand that you feel like you have no one that would be able to help you. Is there anyone that you feel comfortable with talking to about what is going on? Maybe a friend or trusted adult. If you don’t feel like you have anyone that you trust we are here for you to talk over your options with. You can call us, we are here for you. If you want someone that you can talk with face to face we have counseling services in our database that we can offer you.

      You shared with us that if you cannot leave home then your only other option would be suicide. It sounds like you are really upset and worried about what might happen when your parents find out about school. That can be a big thing to share with your parents. We would like to offer you some resources that might be able to help you with this. One service is here at NRS, which is a conference call service. This is where you would call us and we would make an outgoing call to your parents. We would then do a conference call. The purpose of this is to help make sure that your voice is heard when talking to your parents about school. We would also like to offer you the National Suicide Hotline at 1800.273.TALK. They would be able to talk with you and be a support for you when you are feeling like you have no other options. They have a chat service as well at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 2pm-2am where you talk with them.

      We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can always give us call on our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #78
        I am a 15 girl and I want to run away from home. I can't take it anymore. I'm depressed.

        Comment


        • #79
          RE:

          Hello,

          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you ware wanting to leave home, it sounds like you are unhappy there. No one deserves to be unhappy in a place where they should feel loved and supported. We are glad that you decided to reach out, we are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

          You mentioned that you are depressed, that must be a hard thing to deal with at 15. We hope that you are not dealing with this on your own, if you are we have some great resources that you can turn to the next time you are feeling depressed. There is the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-8255 or you can visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org and chat with them during their chat hours. You can also call us the next time you are feeling like you need some extra support. We are here for you.

          You also mentioned that you are wanting to leave home. We are not legal expert, but we can speak in general terms what could happen if you decided to leave home. Generally the age of an adult is 18, if you were to leave home before then your parents could file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This means that you cannot be arrested, just brought back home if found. However, anyone that you are staying with, family member or friend, could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense. This might be a good time to see if you know anyone who is willing to take that risk.

          It sounds like there is a lot going on for you right now. This could also be a time to talk to a trusted adult about how you are feeling and what is going on at home that is making you want to leave. This could be a family, friend, school counselor/teacher, pastor etc. whoever you feel safe and comfortable. We have a database of counseling resources that we could provide for you if you were to call us.

          Our main concern here at NRS is to make sure that you are safe. If you would like to call us we can talk about ways to stay safe if you were to leave. Some questions to think about might be
          -Is where you are going safer then home?
          -What will you do if things ever became unsafe while away from home?
          -Who would you turn to if you were to get in trouble?
          -How will you support yourself? Money? Food? Shelter?
          -Do you know of someone that is willing to take the risk of harboring a runaway?
          -What do you think it would look like if you were forced to return home?

          We hoped this helped and again we are sorry that we could not be more helpful. If you are able to call us please do, or you chat with us on our website. We wish you the best of luck.

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #80
            17 almost 18, run away

            I'm 17, going to be 18 in a month. I ran away from home because my parents were abusive in every way, except sexually. I ran away to my friends house and my parents gave custody of me to my friends mom. I had to leave that house cause they became abusive also. I am living with my biological family now. My adoptive parents keep saying the police are still looking for me, yet they havent contacted any of my friends or anything. So i am positive they are lying. If the police were truly looking for me I would literally get picked up just to leave again. I turn 18 in a month and have already graduated high school. So what should i do?

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: 17 almost 18, run away

              Hi there,

              Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot at home and we are sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you tried to get to a safe place, and it turned out not to be which is really unfortunate. You do not deserve to be abused by anyone. We’re here to help the best that we can.

              So you shared that you have been experiencing abuse by your parents, and also by your friend’s parents. Have you ever thought about making an abuse report before? If this is something that you would like to talk more about, you can call us here at 1800RUNAWAY (786 2929) or call Child Help USA at (800) 422 4453.

              It sounds like you are in a safe place now with your biological family, and your adoptive family has been telling you that the police are looking for you and it sounds like you don’t believe them. You are right in that the police cannot force you to stay at home if they were to bring you back there. We’re not legal experts but running away is not illegal, it’s a status offense but harboring a runaway is, so if you are staying with an individual that does not have legal guardianship of you, they run the risk of potentially being charged for harboring you.

              It sounds like you feel safe where you are at now, which is the most important thing. We’re not here to tell you what you should or should not do, because you know your situation better than we do. We’re just here to help keep you safe. If you want to talk more about what’s going on, you can call us any time and we can try to help as much as we can.

              Best of luck,
              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
              Tell us what you think about your experience!

              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

              Comment


              • #82
                Is it legal

                Is it legal to runaway from California to a different state?
                My mom is physically abusive and suicidal I can't stand her anymore I have a place I can hide out at but it out of state

                Comment


                • #83
                  Re: Is it legal

                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  Is it legal to runaway from California to a different state?
                  My mom is physically abusive and suicidal I can't stand her anymore I have a place I can hide out at but it out of state
                  Hello,

                  Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like home life has become quite overwhelming and what seems to be unsafe for you. We are concerned for your safety. You mentioned that your mother is physically abusive. You do not deserve to be harmed in any way. Everyone deserves to live in a supportive and safe environment. You always have the option of filing an abuse report with Child Protective Services (CPS) through Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453. If you ever needed help with understanding the process or making a report, we are here to help. Your safety and well-being is priority and we want to help in any way that we can.

                  Regarding your question about legality of running away, we want to help answer your question to the best of our ability, however, it may be best to reach out to your local non-emergency police department for more accurate information as we are not legal experts. To speak generally, running away is not illegal but considered a status offense- meaning you are not allowed to do so because you are under the age of majority. If your mother decided to file a runaway report and police found you in your current state they typically would bring you back home or if you were found in another state they may detain you until your mother could come get you. Again, we are not legal experts so it may be best to reach out to local law enforcement in your area to learn more about how runaway cases are handled. If you would like to share more about what you are going through and explore some options to keep you safe, please reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929 or through chat via www.1800runaway.org.

                  We wish you well and hope you stay safe.

                  Take care,

                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    16 year old runaway

                    Hi I'm 16 year old from California I'm a runaway I don't want to go back to my home my gramma is verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive. And I can't go to my mom because she's the same as my gramma n my uncle tried molesting me. I've told cps many times there only solution is foster care for me. I found a place that's safe for me and I would like to stay here. I've never been so happy in my life sense being here. Well my gramma messaged me she has kicked me out of her house but yet filed me as a runaway. I can't go to the cops because my mom is friends with crooked cops. What can I do because I would like to go with my step grampas sister I consider her as my aunt but she's not blood relative. What do i do?

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      RE: 16 year old runaway

                      Hello there –

                      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board. From your post to us here, we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our callers and you’re looking for some answers. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life and at home right now that your considering leaving your home. Sounds like there are some big issues that you're going through, namely not being comfortable with going back to live with your grandmother or/and mother. No one deserves to be treated that. If you feel that you are in danger of being hurt, please remember to reach out to the police. They can come and check on you to make sure that you’re okay. It’s great that you were able to reach out to CPS and tell them what was going on, that’s very brave of you to do.

                      It sounds like things are getting a little bit frustrating not knowing what your next steps are going to be. Now are aren’t legal experts here by any means, so we can only talk in general about what the rules/laws are for runaways. Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of running away vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. You could ask hypothetical questions that they can answer for you. Generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your adoptive mother would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. This is of course if you had any interaction with the police directly or if they stopped you to ask you a few questions.

                      But it sounds like you are planning on living with your step grandmother’s sister, how does your grandmother and/or mother feel about this? Whomever has custody of you may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your grandmother’s sister), but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again while 16 years old. Do you think that they would agree to something like that if they did in fact kick you out?

                      If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                      Tell us what you think about your experience!
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        I am 17 years old and I am sick of the way my parents treat me. They are disrespectful to me and expect the very most respect out of me. What would happen if I left home at 17? My parents often tell me if I do they will report me a runaway and I will get arrested and taken away. Is that true? If and when can I leave home and not have consequences as a minor?

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re:

                          Hi there,

                          Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home have been tough and we are sorry to hear about this. We’re glad that you found our bulletin board, and were brave enough to share what’s going on. We’re here to help.

                          So we’re not legal experts, but generally speaking if you were to leave before the age of 18, your legal guardians would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they would just bring you back home. Running away is not a criminal offense, it’s a status offense so there is typically no charge/arrest for the youth, however there is a risk of any adult that you stay with being charged for harboring a runaway.

                          As a minor, one way to move out of legal guardian’s home is to get emancipated. This can be a lengthy and expensive process, but if you would like to explore it further you can call us at 1800runaway and we can try to get you some more helpful resources that can provide more information to how that would look in your state.

                          Please do not hesitate to call or chat with us, we’re here to support you.

                          Good luck and stay safe,
                          NRS
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                          Tell us what you think about your experience!

                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            help

                            Hi my mom is as well very mentally abusive yells all day at me I can't take it. I'm going to be 18 Nov 16th she told I can move out and she wrote on a price of paper she gave per mission for my 19yr old boyfriend right to take care of me now shes trying to change her mind after 2 days saying she wants me home and if not she will call police for me to go to foster care do I have to go if the police show up

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              RE: help

                              Hello there,

                              Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad you contacted us for support, and we will do our best to see if we can help answer your question and address your concerns.

                              It sounds like you are in a stressful situation at home with your mom. You mentioned that she is very mentally abusive to you. Nobody deserves to be mistreated in any way. You appear to be quite strong through all of this, and it’s commendable that you are reaching out to advocate for yourself. We are wondering who you have turned to for support in all of this. It sounds like having someone to talk to about everything that you are going through may be helpful to at least relieve some of the stress you may be under.

                              It seems your mom gave permission but changed her mind and you are worried that you will be forced back home, is that correct? We are not legal experts but can provide some general information on what we are aware of that may happen. Since you are still considered a minor at 17, your mom may choose to file a runaway report in which the police may search for you. If you are found then they may bring you back home, but this depends on your situation. As far as foster care, we are unsure if that is something that would happen- if so, we are unsure of how immediate that could occur. It seems that there are many steps leading up to be entered into and place in foster homes. Child Protective Services may be involved in which agencies would be contacted and your family would be provided family services to try to work through any problems. Something that may help is to reach out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or visit https://www.childhelp.org/ where you can pose these questions and concerns and receive more specific answers to the questions you are asking.

                              We hope this helps and hope that the resource provided Is hepful to you. You are welcome to call us any time as we are 24/7. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a chat service found on our website www.1800runaway.org.

                              Good luck and take care,

                              NRS
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                I am 17

                                So I live with foster parents who have legal custody over me and there are emotionally, verbally, and a little physically abusive and im tired of it, they live in Texas and i bought a ticket to go to California where I have a job set up and a safe place to stay, but im not sure if I will be labeled a run away, i want to know if so, could they police make me go back if my guardian demanded I come back, and if not is legal emancipation an option?

                                Comment

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