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  • Hi I had a question I am really worried about my two boys that ran away from their dad's house a couple of days ago. There dad lives in California and I live in Nevada. I see my boys on every holiday and every summer. My boys are aged 16 and 14. My oldest son has been getting beat by his dad for years now. I've made police reports had pictures taken had cps involved went to court over this and nothing ever gets done. I talked to my son briefly yesterday and he told me the reason he ran is bc his dad was hitting him. So he took himself and his little brother and went on the run. I really need some advice to see what can be done. When I was with my kid’s father he beat me for 5 years and I finally had enough of it and took off. Now he is doing the same things to my boys. Any advice would be much appreciated thank you.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-15-2018, 01:23 AM.

    Comment


    • Reply: Hi I had a question

      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline.

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing the situation with your sons.


      Your support and concern for them is important, especially since this time is probably quite difficult for them.
      As you know being abused is not the fault. They don’t deserve to have this happen to them.
      There are laws to protect minors against abuse. If things do escalate and your friend would like to file an abuse report they may do so by contacting Child Help USA at: 1-800-422-4453

      It sounds like the system has not been in their favor and that is most unfortunate.
      NRS offers services that can try to assist with locating a safe emergency shelter.
      We can also assist with trying to locate family crisis counseling services through our data base. We can also assist with looking for referrals for legal aid services in case you want to continue to fight for custody in court.

      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      Should have contact with your son’s you can give them our contact information 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      We are here as support to help any way we can in your time of need.
      We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more about your situation please call or chat soon.


      May your situation and theirs change for the better.

      Take care,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • Hi I’m 17 years old and I live in California my mom and dad have always kinda been in and out of my life and nice always stayed with my aunt my mom lives in Arizona and my dad lives in California my dad does have custody of me but I haven’t been living with him for almost a year he he is emotional and physically abusive my so I mov d with my aunt and right now I am in Arizona supposed to be visiting my mom and my dad and mom are trying to make me stay here in a place I don’t know and tore me out of my school with my friends what happens if I run away back to my aunts?

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time right now. It can be really upsetting to feel like your world is being taken away from you without any input from you.

          We aren’t legal experts here, but we can speak in generalities. If you were to run away from your mom back to your aunt’s, your dad would have the right to file a runaway report on you. That means if you are found at your aunt’s house, the police could return you to your dad’s or mom’s house. It’s also possible your aunt could get in trouble for harboring a runaway.

          That said, you do have the right to keep yourself safe. If you ever feel like your dad (or mom) might become abusive again, you have the right to leave the situation and take care of yourself. You may even consider filing an abuse report on your dad. If that is something you want to consider, you can call us and we can help walk you through the process.

          Do you feel like your aunt would be comfortable talking to your parents on your behalf? Sometimes it helps to have an adult have a difficult conversation like that. She may be able to persuade them that you living with her is the best for everyone.

          If you want to talk about any other options you may have, please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day to help you work through this problem or anything else you want to talk about.

          Again, we are sorry that you’re experiencing this. Please take care of yourself and we wish you the best of luck.

      • Hi, i’m 17 years old and i live in california. i plan on running away and my friend is offering me to stay with him for a while. i have a lot going on at home i get blamed on for taking things when i didn’t. i’m now saying i haven’t taken things in the past but my aunt is my legal guardian and continuously blames me for things and likes to make me feel bad and puts me down. every time she hits me, i know i shouldn’t fight back but i do. it’s constant fighting here at home and i can’t do the things i need to do when my school grade depends on it. i’m just afraid if i run away she will call the cops but what will they do since i’m not 18? will they put me in juvenile detention? i can’t stand being in this home and i’m afraid to come home because it’s the same things over and over again. she turns my room upside down to see if i have her things even when i don’t. what can i do? i don’t have anyway to contact anyone for help not even at school because i’m always busy during my breaks. i’m really thinking of leaving the house i’m just not sure because i never done such a thing

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us for help.
          We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. You don’t deserve to be hurt in any way. If it might be an option for you, you can consider filing an abuse report. You can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you more information on filing an abuse report and what the process involves. If you ever feel your safety is at risk you can always call 911. You shouldn’t have to go through this and this is not your fault. Talking to other family members and friends can be helpful in many situations. While we are not legal experts generally speaking running away is not a crime and if you are to leave home without your legal guardians’ permission and a police report is filed the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway and could get in trouble with the law. However, at 17 laws vary from state to state and in some cases you might be ok leaving home without any consequences. The best way to find out would be to call the local police department non-emergency number to see what might happen. We would be happy to help you call them out confidentially if that might be an option for you.
          Running away can be hard in other ways. You might also want to think about where you might stay, how you might pay for food, rent, and other living expenses. This can be a lot and we are here to support you through this process. You can contact us at our 24 hour confidential hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat with us and we are happy to listen to you, explore your options and provide any resources.

          You are doing great by reaching out for help. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

          Stay safe
          NRS

      • Hello i am 16 years old and my mother and me live in tj and she kicked me out so i came with a friend in california she has made a false police report saying i ranaway when i did not what do i do and she is constantly abusing me verbally what do i do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there,

          Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. You do not deserve to be treated that way and you’ve been very courageous to reach out for help.

          We are sorry to hear that your mom made a false runaway report against you. It is not fair of her to blame you for something she did and for trying your best to cope under the circumstances. You mentioned some verbal abuse going on at home, and while emotional abuse is not always given the weight it deserves, if you were interested in filing an abuse report, Child Help 1-800-422-4453, is a resource for exploring that option further.


          Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general overview of runaway reports. If you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. They could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses. Whether you decide to return to your mother's care is entirely up to you, these are just some things to consider.


          Unfortunately, it may be a possibility that you would return to your mother's care. We want you to know that you are valuable and that you matter. If you were willing to return, some options for approaching that process are NRS's messaging service, through which you could leave a message for us to deliver to your parent if you two are not in contact. We also offer conference calling, through which we would mediate a constructive and respectful conversation between yourself and your mother. An additional resource could be counseling, and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 1-877-726-4727 could connect you with resources in your area.


          If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
          We hope this information was helpful and take care.
          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      • I am a 16 year old girl living in the state of California. I have run away from home because my dad and step mom told me if I didn’t want to live with them, then I can leave. They said they’d file a police report, but would not tell them where I am going. I am being housed by my biological mother and am waiting to figure out what to do. The reason I left was because I did not want to live the lifestyle they had. They make an appearance of an “all American Christian” family. I do not have the same beliefs as them, nor do I want anything remotely to do with them. My dad has emotionally damaged me a few years back and ever since then, I’ve had a burning rage of resentment for him. I feel like no matter what I did, it was never good enough and all they ever talked about was how nervous and scared I made them feel in their own home. I just was wondering what exactly might happen if the police find me. My dad has all the parental rights, so legally can’t me force me back in his house? Do I have any rights as a runaway?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We are here to support you anyway we can. From what you have shared, it sounds like you are going through a stressful time. Running away from home can be a hard decision to make, but it is important that you feel safe and supported where you are living. It is understandable you would not want to live with parents who make you feel unwanted and who have a lifestyle you do not feel comfortable with. No one deserves to be talked down to by their parents. You are good enough and deserving of support.
          You mentioned that your dad has full legal custody and you are currently with your biological mother. If you left home without your dad’s permission and he does file a runaway report, there is a possibility law enforcement would return you to the home if you were to come into contact with police. Since you are under the age of 18 your dad does have a legal responsibility to care for you. It seems like it is likely a report will be filed which could have legal consequences for your biological mother. You can always call your local non-emergency number by dialing 311 and anonymously ask legal questions about your situation. We understand conversations with parents can be difficult so we can offer to reach out to your dad and help you have a conversation about what would make you feel the most safe and comfortable in a living situation. We are not completely sure about your home situation, but if you feel you have experienced any type of abuse you can visit childhelp.org or call their hotline at 1-800-422-4453 for support and more resources. You are always welcome to call us at 1-800-runaway if you want to talk more about your situation and explore options.
          Thanks again for reaching out to us, it takes a lot of strength. It sounds like you are trying to make the best decision possible for your safety and well-being. We are here 24/7 by phone and chat to listen and support you.

      • I'm currently 15 living in California. I don't want to live with my mother or my father. They have both emotionally abused me and I really feel as if it is affecting me. I have a 18 year old sister who has a house. Is there a way for me to leave without my mom's permission. I know she most likely won't give it to me, but I really want to get away from both homes and just go somewhere else. I can't stand living here.

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe your sister could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • Hello, I would like to start by giving the state. I live in California, and I know this one girl who is breaking down. Her parents are always getting more and more on her about working(age 15) against her will. On top of that they have, even with my being there to witness, stated their lack of tolerance for her. Her older sister is often given what ever she wants while the girl I know is forced to do the work around the house and now even work to generate an income for her parents. Though everything I have read says this is legal, the addition of harassment at the school she attends and a lack of support has led to her seeking a way out. At first she wanted to end her life, but I talked her into not rushing into self harm without seeing the legal methods out. Some reports I have seen have stated that in California it is legal for a friend to harbor a runaway, and even for a friend who is a legal adult to gain custody of her. What are the laws about such actions? Would she be able to be legally be under the custody of a friends parents? Would she need to find an adult who does not have a kid? Does the child of the adult have to have a certain limitation on who they can be(Example would be an adult who takes her in, but their child is dating or will date the girl.) What's the best way to deal with this?
        ​​​​​​I apologize if this posts incorrectly, I am not familiar with such websites.

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello,
          You mentioned some things that raise concern for the youth’s safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, the youth has the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
          As far as harboring that youth, from what we know, though we are not legal experts, it is illegal to do such a thing and can often lead to charges. However if you wish to help the youth out you can express that either to the police or the Child Protective Services worker. You can vouch for them and inform them you are more than willing to help. This does not mean that you will be given custody but it doesn’t hurt to try.

          If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

          Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
          Take care,
          NRS

      • i want to leave. can foster care take me in?

        Comment


        • I’m 17 years old and I wanna go live with my boyfriend because there is a lot of fight in gin my house. I am emotionally stable to be on my own right now. I have a hard time with my parents. All I want to do is not be around them.

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We know that you are going through a really tough and stressful time. Our hope is to provide you with resources and tools to help you make the decision that is best for you. From what we gather about your situation it seems like your intent is to try and get away from a rocky relationship with your parents. Though we are not legal experts , what we can say 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            Though if you are close to being 18 sometimes the police will not file a runaway report and might not even look for you. Again it might be a good idea to reach out to the local non-emergency number to figure out what they might do.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • I am 17 I turn 18 March 26 the system wants to deny me AB12 and I refuse to go back to my adoptive moms cause I don't feel safe there emotionally and physically so I have nowhere to go can somebody help me out I don't wanna be on the streets

          Comment


          • ccsmod8
            ccsmod8 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there -

            Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on.

            You were asking if there was any type of programs that will help you live independently. We do have a database that shows if there are any youth shelters or TLP programs. So what TLP (Transitional Living Program) does is it offers a comprehensive services to young people between the ages of 16 to 24 who are unstably housed or experiencing homelessness at their current time. They provide tools that youth need to thrive. Things like stable housing, employment and education opportunities, primary and mental health care, lasting connections with caring adults, and/or the skills to live a healthy and independent life. So that is something that we can search, it helps if you are in a larger city or close by that you can easily get to, so that you might be able to increase your chances in finding one of these TLP programs. Since we don't really know where in CA you are located, we aren't sure if there are any in your area. So if you want you can call in if you think that you might be able to benefit in looking through some of those resources.

            Hope that helps!

        • I’m 16 and I live in California and I have anxiety and depression and adhd and other things and I’ve been physically and mentally abused by both my dad and stepmom and they keep telling me nothings wrong and deny ever hurting me and I just fought with my dad and jusf want to leave and go somewhere else for a few hours but idk if it’s legal too, is it it legal for a 16 year old to leave the house without parental consent in California?

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension – it sounds like it can be pretty overwhelming to deal with your mental health issues while being treated so poorly by your dad and step mom. Generally speaking, you are considered a minor until you are 18, which means that your parents are accountable for your well-being and therefore can set allowances on where you can go and when. Most likely leaving for a few hours won’t get you in trouble with the authorities but it would be a good idea to check with them by calling your nonemergency police line (normally you can reach it by dialing 311).

            You mentioned that you were being mentally and physically abused; this raises some concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

            It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
            If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS

        • Hi I’m 16 years old I’m making money and saving up to move out of my house I’m tired of dealing with my parents mostly my dad I’ve been thinking about how I can get a good job and how I would be going to school i have an option on moving in with a friend or just look for my own place but I just wanted to know how can I move out the right way before turning 18. I hope to hear back

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • I am a 16-year-old girl. I just turned 16, and life has hit me pretty hard at home. I want to run away, and not tell my parents. I have a very close friend who's family is willing to open their door up to me. I would still go to school and maintain my good grades, and I wouldn't be doing anything wrong. Am I making the wrong decision? And I was planning on texting my mother the day I leave and telling her I'm moving to a safe place and stay maintaining my grades. I live in California. Will I get into deep trouble for it? If the police send me back home and the house turns into a living hell what do I do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            It sounds like you are going through a lot, so we are glad you are reaching out to us because we are here to help. While we don’t know all of the details and can’t know if you’re making the right decisions, reaching out to us is a good step in figuring out your options. We also want to point out that it is very admirable to hear that despite your hard time at home, you are still considering your grades.

            In your message you asked if you would you get into deep trouble if you left. While we aren’t legal experts, but we can let you know that running away isn’t illegal, but is considered a status offense. That means that while you may not get arrested for leaving home without your parent’s permission, your parents do have the option to involve the police and file a runaway report. With a runaway report, the police could bring you back home and your parents may be able to press charges against anyone that takes you in. Telling your friend’s parents this may help you and them think of options that work best for everyone.

            We mentioned that if you leave without permission then your parents could file a runaway report but there may be another option. If you were to receive parental permission (usually best to have proof in the form of texts or letter), you may be able to avoid legal action. Would you be comfortable speaking with your parents about wanting to leave and asking for permission? Conversations like that can be difficult, but we may be able to help you think of ways to call if you were to call our number at 1-800-786-2929. We have people on our line that can help support you in whatever way you need.

            You also asked what would happen if the police send you back and the house turns into a living hell. If you would like to talk about what makes you feel like that is a possibility and want to discuss options based on your situation, the number we provided is a good resource for that too! We are here to help, but we are also here to listen!

            Best of luck!

        • I’m 17 and turning 18 in october,
          my parents don’t listen to me, they scream at me and contantly ridicule me by saying things like “loser” “lazy-ass” “stupid” etc. All I wanted was to quit my job they forced me to get when I was 15 and a 1/2. They’ve grounded me for having a D in a AP class but all my other grades are fine. My dad has threatened to pull me out of college and not support me financially once I go to college, threatened to kick me out for being “ungrateful” and even threatened to kill me. I have a boyfriend and I’ve considered running away to live at his house, his parents would be fine with it, my parents have all the money I’ve made from my job. I don’t want to wait this out, I can’t take it anymore, this abuse has gone on for years and all I can do is hold on, but I don’t want to anymore, I want to take action, I’ve gone so far as considering suicide to teach them a lesson. At this point, I just need to leave, what should I do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS
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