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  • Hi, I’m a 17 and 1/2 year old girl living in California. Currently my mom has majority custody of me but I recently came out as gay and she has been very mentally abusive to me since then. I have already packed and moved all my belongings to my dads house without her knowing and plan on telling her tomorrow that I want to live with him. Can she legally call the police and have me brought home? Or since I’m almost 18 and am not treated right will they let me stay without a court order?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a great deal of courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your mom became mental abusive once you came out. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you deserve to be treated with respect. Talking to someone that understands how you feel could help. The LGBT National Hotline (1-888-843-4564) is a great resource for support.

      We are not legal experts, so we cannot say for sure what could happen if you decide to move. However, since you aren't 18 yet your mom has the right to file a runaway report if you decide to leave without her permission. You could having your dad contact your mom to ask her if she would allow you to stay with him. You may also want to consider contacting your local police through their non emergency phone number to ask what would happen if you left home. If you don't feel comfortable contacting the police, we can call them for you. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat, if you have any other questions or just want to talk.



      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      NRS
      Last edited by ccsmod2; 04-07-2018, 03:30 AM.

  • I’m 17 and about to graduate from home school in may. I don’t turn 18 til December and my guardian wants to put me back into high school so they can still get money for me, there basically trying to hold me back from graduating so they can still get money for me. Keep in mind, they don’t give me any money from what they receive from the state. They only want to keep me longer for the money. So I want to run away so I don’t deal with all this, I have a safe place to stay already.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS and sharing your story. You said that your guardian wants to keep you in school even after you graduate- that sounds not only selfish but nonsensical. Knowing that your guardian sees you as a way to receive more tax dollars must be very frustrating – that’s not okay and it’s understandable that you would feel upset and want to leave home. Running away is not illegal- it is considered a status offense because of your age. This means that your guardian could file a runaway report. If they did and you had any contact with police, you would be returned back home. While you consider running away, it’s important to have a safe place to stay and a back-up plan just in case things don’t go as you expect. Having the support of friends or other family members that you trust could be valuable- even if sometimes just to talk to. If you feel like you want to discuss your options, talk about what’s going on at home, find a shelter, or anything else, you can always call us too. We’re available 24/7 confidentially at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      We wish you all and only the best.
      NRS

  • My son ran away at 16 years old in riverside county CA, I, the mother and his father passed away in 2008..i moved out of state because I wanted a better life for my son and myself, my son was getting into a lot of trouble..he was joy riding with his friends, stealing things out of cars, not going to school, so I chose to move out of state. My 16 year old son ran away on moving day. I stayed back for a couple day's looking for him, his friends and their parents were hiding him out, I had to leave at that point because I had a moving truck for all my stuff and was costing more money. It killed me to leave you him. I got were I moved to, and bought a house. It took about a month for all that to get done and I figured that would be enough time that my son would come out from hiding because he knew I wasn't around. I chose to drive back to Cali to get my son, I was hiding in bushes scoping out houses I knew where he was at.. I saw him 1 time going into one of his friends house I called the cops, riverside county cops don't help u at all, they are fine with the person harboring your child/breaking the law.,riverside county told me I had to have pictures or video of my son. Are u kidding me? And another time when I calledthe cop, he said well he ran away for a reason.what happen to" serve and protect"no wonder why kids or anyone look up to cops for help, that look at them like the enemy, pretty sad..anyway I stayed in California for 14 days trying to get my son, no luck at all.. I had to go back home, and can't explain what I was feeling the worst feeling ever without my son. So time went on I still wasn't giving up.. My son was registered nation wide as a runaway.. My son stayed the night at a friend's house and thank God at least one parent was a normal parent and called him me and told me my son was at her house, I told him I her to call the cops, she did while I was waiting my son called me this lady he was staying with, I have no idea what who she was, this lady called me saying that she's the guardian of myson, I flipped out I was telling the cop I don't give any rights for this lady to take my son. Actually he was a sergeant for riverside county. This lady had fake cps papers. The sergeant let my son go, I couldn't believe it. I was freaking out. And he chose to take my son off nationwide Runaway.. I called to find out why, took awhile to get a straight answer.. I was being treated like this wasn't even my child. I was upset, angry and confused I didn't know what to do.. I got a lawyer, he found out the lady my son was living with was wanted from most wanted in Guatemala for Laundering alot of $. Still no one would do anything "the law" so my son is being raised by ppl like this, and 2 years go by now he's 18 he allegedly got burglary charges, 3 felonys pending.. I'm just curious of who would be responsible for this, yes my son is 18 a adult, but being raised by someone that is a criminal, that taught my son the wrong way, and the law could care less obviously. If the law would have done their job right my son would have been with me not allegedly committing these crimes against him. I feel this lady he lived with and the law should be reliable for these allegedly crimes my son did, because they were teaching my son its OK to do what he was doing when he was a minor runaway and getting what he wanted . Any opinions would be great. Thank you, a mother that will never give up on his son.


    ​​

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It defiantly sounds like a difficult situation, not knowing where your son is and what he has been up to. We want you to know that we are here to try and support you through this. Since it doesn’t seem that you are getting much help from the police, it is great that you decided to get in contact with a lawyer. We say this because due to the fact that he is currently 18 (the age of majority in most states) there is not going to be much that the police can do. Even if he did leave home while he was a minor, he is still currently and adult and can live independently if he chooses.
      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
      We hope you found this information helpful.
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • I am in the state of California. I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who lives with her Mother full time. The mother is extreamly abusive and neglectful toward the children (there are five). The two oldest girls went to the school counselor and told them that they weren't feeling safe at home and now a repire with CPS has been issued.
    The 12 year old has stated that she wants to run away and has asked if she can stay with me. I have the means to care for her and a place for her to sleep, but she would need to change schools.I am unsure if it would be illeagal me to take her in and I don't want any trouble for either of us.
    Btw her mother has full custody, her dad and I do not live together (yet). He has court ordered visitation every other week, but we are trying to get 50/50 .
    ​​​​​​
    Last edited by ccsmod11; 04-27-2018, 09:02 PM. Reason: We censor location info other than states to protect those who post on our forums

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out. We are glad you took the time to come forward to us about problems to receive help and we hope we can provide you some.

      We're not legal experts, and custody issues often complicate runaway cases. As a result, we can only give you general information that may or may not apply where you live. You may want to contact your non-emergency police or a legal expert about these issues to get more concrete answers. However, from what we know, there are charges for harboring a runaway that can be filed if an adult houses a runaway youth. Penalties for this charge vary across the U.S. As far as we know, this is a rarer charge to have filed against someone, as police officers may be reluctant to file it in certain circumstances.

      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Take care,
      NRS

  • hello, I am 16 years old , I am a Girl , I ran away from my home in las Vegas and came to California because this is where I used to live, I got caught bc my mom was tracking my sim card I guess, so I got admitted into a hospital bc she told the cops I was suicidal and so she had told the hospital to release me to my older brother and that I was going to be in his care and he was going to have custody, and I was going to be in school, sooner or later the living situation with my brother didn't work out I ended up leaving and was staying at a friends house then I went to my sisters home where my grandpa lives , my mom hates my sister so she keeps telling me that she does not give me permission to stay there that I should have stayed on the streets. all I want is to be with my sister and grandpa my sister goes to college my grandpa helps her she got her high school diploma and I never feel depressed there , I havnt been in school at least for 2 months because my mom never wanted to send the papers in court can me and my sister use that against her in court so my sister can take custody of me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your family. It sounds like you would like to stay with your sister but your mother is refusing. We are not legal experts so we cannot say for sure what you could use in court. We encourage you and your sister to seek legal aid. You could also contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453) for more information on how to transfer custody. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email. or live chat.



      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • I am 17, i turn 18 in less than a month, i graduate in 15 days and i deal with violence at home from my mom all the time because she gets drunk all the time. I have chose, after a recent incident with both my parents (which i wont say) where one told me to get out, so i chose to leave and stay with a friend until i graduate. Today will be my first day away from home, i go to school, and im currently applying for a job where i had a job placement under a school program. I have done my research and I am well aware its not illegal to "runaway" but im concerned as to what could happen even though she did tell me i needed to leave.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We know that you are going through a really difficult time. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to reach out to us by phone anytime at 1-800-786-2929.
      In most states, when you turn 18 you are considered an adult and are free to live away from your parents. Though this is oftentimes very challenging for a young person such as yourself, it can give you immense freedom to get a job, live on your own and get out of the dangerous situation in your home. No youth should ever have to deal with violence in the home! Therefore in a month you will be free of any runaway laws that are applicable in your state. To figure out when are legally considered an adult go to https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/ and click on your state. Scroll down and look for the “age of minority” and add 1. If you are this age you are legally considered an adult.

      It sounds like you are doing the right things to help yourself get through this difficult situation. What normally happens with individuals who are considered runaways is that a runaway report has to be filed by your parents. What this indicates is that if you are picked up by the police you will be returned home. However, if someone is determined to have maliciously or misled the authorities about your location they can be charged with a crime.

      We hope this information helps you! If you would like to discuss any issues or options please feel free to contact us at 1-800-786-2929.

      NRS

  • Hi I'm 17 years going on 18 in a few months. Ever since my mom passed away and my dad got diagnosed with cancer then got a tube in his throat he's been even meaner than ever. He's been mentally abusive for as long as I could ever remember. My siblings moved in to help him but one day he hit my older sister because she didn't say hi to him. She then moved out and ever since then if I talk back to him he says he's going to do the same thing he did to her but to me this time. The other day he got mad at me when I didn't even do anything I was just in my room eating. He threw a chair at me and then threaten to hit me because I was crying and screaming. I don't want to keep living with him but he threatens me saying if I call the cops they wont believe me. Especially because he's an old man with a tube in his throat and he will say I assaulted him. He also makes me cook and clean because I'm a lady and that's what we are meant to do. I can't get a job or take the bus to school. He always says I'm lazy too when I basically do everything for him and he calls me ungrateful. At one point I even tried killing myself thinking that would be better. I just don't know what to do, I can live with other people but I'm scared he will come after me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation. Regardless of what your father is going through, it’s not okay for him to hit you or throw chairs at you, and it’s understandable that you would want to get out of there. You mentioned that you’ve tried killing yourself; please know that you’re not alone. If you ever feel like you’re in immediate danger of hurting yourself, you can always call 9-1-1 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. As far as leaving, we understand the need to get to a safer place. If you do leave, your father would have the right to file a runaway report, however there is a possibility that your local police would not pursue you because you’re close to being 18. If you want to talk more specifically about your situation, please feel free to give us a call. We would love to hear from you and help think through some of your options. Stay strong!

  • I’m 15 I live in California and have emotionally and mentally abusive parents, is there anyway I could leave my parents house. I know moving in with a family could be an option but my mom has negatively talked about me to everyone I’m seen as a demonic kid to my family because of her and not many of them like me and I also don’t like my family much. I’m really tired of living with my parents, they have gotten me into a depression to the point where Ive thought of suicide sevral time since I was 11 years old (4 years ago). I had a bestfriend who would help me but his parents found out I had family problems and decided to cut off my communication with him. The police came to my house and forced me into therapy but I wasn’t the one who needed it. And I lied to my therapist in fear my parents would do something but I regret it. I want to get as far away from possible from them is there anyway I not live with them

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your parents are emotionally abusive towards you. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA ( 1-800-422-4453 )or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. Child Help can also provide you with information on how to transfer custody. You may also want to consider looking into emancipation laws for the state of California. You mentioned that you are depressed and have thought about committing suicide. Although you are going through a tough situation, you are not alone. Your life matters ! Talking to someone about how you feel could help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is a great resource for support. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) if you have any other questions or just want to talk.

      Please be safe !

  • Hello I'm a 17 year old female going to be a senior when school starts again if I wanted to move out of my house before the age of 18 (WITHOUT) my mother's permission is that legal or can my mother call the police and file a Runaway Report I don't want to leave California I just want to move out please I really need a answer I don't really know what to do anymore

    Comment


    • Hello I really need a answer I live with my mother she is very abusive verbal physical and mental abuse I'm a 17 female in California if I wanted to move out of my house without my mother's permission is that legal can I ? Or can she make a runaway report I don't want to leave California I just want to move out of my house I don't really know how to get in an occupation and I don't have the money for a lawyer I just need to know if I can move out of my own without her permission let me know thank you very much ?

      Comment


      • Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts but generally speaking, if you leave while still 17, your parents could file a runaway report and you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor. One thing you can do is reach out to your local police to inquire how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need help finding this number or you want to walk through any other options with a liner, we can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

        You mentioned experiencing abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.



        Best,

        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod1; 06-14-2018, 12:14 AM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • I am 17 and 5 months, i am emotionally abused at home everyday i cant takr it no more i cry myself to sleep ,if I run away and they find me, will I have to go back home... please help ??

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, there,
            Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like things at home are really difficult for you right now. You never deserve to be emotionally abused (or abused in any way)! You ask about running away. We aren’t legal experts so we can only give some general information. Generally speaking, you need to be 18 to leave home without parental consent. Technically, yes, if the police are able to locate you they are supposed to return you home. With that being said, we do sometimes hear that certain police stations choose not to make 17 year olds return home. So it will depend on your local police and how they choose to handle it.
            Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        • I’m 17 and 9 months, living in California . If I were to leave my mothers home without permission from both parents and live somewhere safer and more beneficial for me in the same town what would the consequences be. If cps gets involved I will for sure be taken away from my mother and be forced to live with my dad who lives far away which is not what I want. If th

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thanks for reaching out. We are sorry to hear that the place you are living isn’t safe. In California the age of majority is 18 which means that legally you are a minor for the next few months. If you leave without permission and you mother wants to, she could file a runaway report which would allow the police to bring you back to her if they find you. It sounds like you are facing some hard decisions. If you want to talk through them or talk about anything please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat us through our website!

        • Hello, I am 17 and today i got into a really bad disagreement with my mom, i live with her and my pregnant sister who is 19. I did get into trouble a while ago for drug use and my mom does have proof of it. She always tells me shes going to send me to military school, i am currently mentally unstable due to the lack of communication and the chaos i live in daily. I live in California and I just want to know if i run away and she files me as a runaway and they find me will i be forced back into this house or is there a way i could go to a home and then go to court?

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You are very strong for speaking out to us about this, and we understand how difficult it might be to open up about your home life. It sounds like you are uncomfortable and unhappy in your current living situation but you deserve to feel safe and happy at home. While running away is not illegal, it is a status offense, meaning that your mother could file a runaway report and have the police looking for you. If they were to find you, would have to send you back home because at 17 (18 is the age of majority in California), you are still a minor. One option that you may have to override their sending you home is to apply for emancipation. This process is usually long and expensive, so depending on how far away your 18th birthday is and how ready you feel for legal independence, this option could be a solution. Finally, because we are not legal experts you may have more options specific to your area that you can find by calling 211. You can also call your local non-emergency police line and anonymously ask any question you may have around the police sending home a runaway. Thank you again for reaching out, and feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7, toll-free, and completely confidential.
            We wish you the best of luck, NRS

        • I am an adoptive Great Grandparent since he was barely 2, is now 17. My husband passed away a year ago January, & everything has been so stressful. He doesn't want to go to school, live at home, do chores, stays in his room almost 24/7, when he does go out he may not come home for days. He has put holes in the walls, called my all kinds of dirty names, lies, won't tell me where he is, I have been in tears since the day my husband passed, I don't know what I can do, I know its been a terrible loss for both of us but I am lost & I know he is too, please help!

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello, Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like ever since your grandson’s father passed away he has been exhibiting poor behavior. Losing a loved one is one of the toughest thing that a youth can go through. From the isolations and violence that you mentioned that he has exhibiting seems like he is not dealing with the loss well. It could be beneficial for him to talk to someone about what he is feeling. SAMHSA 877.726.4727or NAMI 800.950.6624 are great organizations that might be able to help you find a grief counselor. Again, we are sorry for your loss and wish you and your family the best of luck. If either of you would like to talk more about your situation please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
            Best wishes,
            NRS
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