Need advice to help a teenager

My son has a friend who is being emotionally and sometimes physically abused by her mother. She is almost 16, and lives in NC. We want very much to help this girl, who, for example, on her birthday was told that her mother wished she was dead and had never been born. Her mother has serious power and control issues with this child, and great concern for her image.

We have a whole community that wants to help this girl. She is welcome to live with us. We just need to know how to help her get out of this situation, and what we need to do to keep things legal for her and for us. She is unlikely to grant emancipation or permission. The abuse has mostly been emotional, so we aren't certain how effective cps would be, and we'd certainly like to keep her out of the foster system if possible.

Any ideas?

[ccsmod1]

Re: Need advice to help a teenager

Thanks for contacting us. It sounds like you’re very concerned about your son’s friend, and rightfully so. From what you wrote, it’s understandable why she wouldn’t want to live with her mom anymore. How has she been coping with living with her mom? It’s good that she has your support and the support of others.

You mentioned the three legal ways for a youth to not have to live with their parents/guardians. The first is parent’s permission, although it sounds like her mom wouldn’t give her permission. The second is for CPS to remove her from the home. You’re right though that since it’s mostly emotional, they probably wouldn’t be able to do much. Of course, you can still call and try to file an abuse report, but just know it may not be very helpful. The third is emancipation. With emancipation, there are two ways to go about it, one with parent’s permission and one going through the courts without parent’s permission. The latter is usually a fairly difficult process and can sometimes require court fees. However, if you want to look into the process in her county, you would want to contact the county courthouse.

From the information we have about emancipation in North Carolina, here are the very basic “requirements”. First the juvenile must be 16 or older. The court considers the juvenile’s ability to support him/herself, the stability of the juvenile’s living arrangements, and parental supervision and support.

We wish we had more options for you and for the youth. If you want to talk more about these options, or would like us to look for referrals for you, you’re welcome to give our hotline a call 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re available 24 hours a day. If the girl wants to call to talk about the situation she is also welcome. Best of Luck.