Runaway Questions!

[Guest]

Hey, my 18th birthday is on Monday (6 days from now), and I am a senior in high school. We are currently on our spring break and we go back the very day of my birthday. I was wondering if I could leave my house 2 or 3 days before my birthday so that I won't have to miss school that day due to moving everything over in the middle of the night. My step father is so against me moving out that he threatened me with the police hundreds of times. The only reason he wants me to stay is because of the child support check he is receiving from my biological father. I am planning to go to a safe place and I have everything I need. I just want to know if they will still be able to get me into any kind of trouble if I leave a a couple days before my actual 18th birthday.
Thank you!

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a stressful situation and that your stepfather is incredibly controlling. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking you would need to be 18 to leave without your legal guardian’s permission. If you leave before then, your legal guardians would have the right to file a runaway report with your local police. However, there is a chance that your local police would choose not to pursue you because you would be so close to turning 18. However, the policy varies from police station to police station so we cannot speak with 100% certainty. One option is to call your local police and ask how they would (hypothetically) handle a situation like yours. Please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 if you’d like to think about other options or locate resources.
We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to give your honest feedback of our services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think. Your feedback really helps us serve young people like you, so we appreciate your support.
Stay safe, stay strong!

[Guest]

i'm 16 i live in new york. im almost 17 and my parents are making me go to colorado cause they caught me holding my 20yo bf's hand. i dont want to run away but im not going to colorado. any advice?

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a pretty frustrating situation. It sounds like you don’t want to leave home, but would like a way to work things out. One option you might consider is having a conversation with your parents about what happened, what you need from them, and what they need from you. You might be able to work out some sort of compromise. If you need help having that conversation, you might consider asking a guidance counselor to advocate for you. Another option is to use our conference calling service, where one of our trained liners can also help you talk to your conversation. We’ll do our best to keep the conversation productive and fair. We hope this was helpful. If you’d like to talk about some other options, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929.
We wish you the best of luck and we hope this message was helpful in figuring out your next steps! If you have a minute, we would appreciate your honest feedback of our forum services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.
Stay safe!

[Guest]

my parents are horrible to me. They've taken my money that I've earned from babysitting and working, and since I've gotten a bank card they tricked me into linking their card reader, (my mom owns her own buisness) to my bank account. They treat me like crap and make me feel like I'm nothing no matter how hard I work. I have a job, I do sports, I'm in after school activities, and on student council, not to mention I take 3 college level classes. Nobody in my house respects me or treats me right. Hell, they love my dog more than me. It gets so hard to function with them, I break down crying almost every other night, I'm about to be done and I cant be here anymore if they get worse. Im just turned 17 and I feel like I still have a life time to go before I'm out of here. I honestly dont know what to do.

[ccsmod4]

Reply:My parents are horrible to me.

Hi,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We are sorry that things are not going well between you and your mom. That must be pretty hard for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now.
You sound like someone that is very hard working and has a plan for their future.
Good for you.
It is unfortunate that your relationship with your parents seem to have fallen on hard times.
Sometimes communication breaks down and it may feel like your feelings are not being heard or appreciated. You sound pretty frustrated by what has been going on.
You did a great job reaching out today.

We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.
If you would like to talk more about your situation and or explore some options about how to cope with it, please contact NRS.
Just reach out to 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org. (Live Chat).

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My girlfriend is 16, 17 in September, living in nevada. Her mother beats her and her stepfather is aware and does nothing. Last incident, her mom choked her and slammed her head into the floor repeatedly. She proceeded to kick my girlfriend out so i bought her a plane ticket to come stay with me in washington. They threatened to call the police so i paid for her to go back. Can she leave without being taken back and will the police let her stay with me?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that your girlfriend is being abused by her mother. Abuse is never okay, and she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. She has the right to report the abuse. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource for more information abuse reporting and how to transfer custody. If your girlfriend ever feels as though she is in immediate danger, we encourage her to call 911.

Since your girlfriend is under 18, if she decides to leave home without her parent's consent, they have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find her they would return her home. Running away is not illegal but, if she stays with you, you could get charged with harboring a runaway. She could try asking her mom if she would allow her to stay with another family member or close friend. She may also consider contacting Child Protective Services and reporting the abuse. They would conduct an investigation and if they determine that her home is not safe, they would remove her from the home. Another option that she has is looking into emancipation laws for her state. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

We wish you the best of luck and we hope this message was helpful in figuring out your next steps! If you have a minute, we would appreciate your honest feedback of our forum services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

[Guest]

Hey.

I'm a 14 years old girl and I just recently turned 14 but I don't really know how to start this off because it's the most complicated story ever.

But recently my parents saw my phone and took it away because they found out I was Bisexual, but that's not why I'm telling you this.

They also mentioned that they were gonna kick me out if I did it again, I actually don't mind if they do kick me out though.

I don't know what to do, because my Father has threatened to kick me out TWICE and my Mother just stands there and watches, I know a place to stay and it's safe with my close friend/Ex-Girlfriend.

But my question is, is it fair that their trying to change me? And should I just get up and leave if they were gonna kick me out anyways?

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks for reaching out. To answer your first question: no, it’s absolutely not fair for your parents to try and “change” you. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, and you cannot make you stop being bisexual simply by taking away your phone. You deserve to be loved and respected by your parents, no matter what. You did mention that’s not the reason you reached out, which is understandable, but if you ever do want to talk to someone about this specific issue, there are a couple awesome resources you can reach out to if you ever do wanna talk:

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386, thetrevorproject.org
LGBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564, glbthotline.org
LGBT National Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743
It Gets Better Project: itgetsbetter.org

Regarding your second question about whether you should leave…we should first say that we are not legal experts. However, your parents cannot simply kick you out. If they are your legal guardians, they are legally required to care for you until you are an adult (in most states, this is age 1. While we can’t read your parents’ minds, it might be possible that they are attempting to intimidate you by threatening to kick you out. That being said, if you have a place to stay that might be a good option for you. Keep in mind that if you leave without your parents’ permission, there is a possibility that your parents could file a runaway report with the police and if the police are able to find you they will likely return you home.
It sounds like things are tense with your parents. If you ever need help talking to them, you could always ask a guidance counselor a therapist to help you have that conversation. Here at NRS, we are also able to help you have that talk through a conference call. During this conversation, we can talk about whatever you like with your parents (for example, moving in with a friend or a relative or starting family counseling, or talking about how they’ve been making you feel).
Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
Stay safe!

[Guest]

Hi ive ran away and in still runing if,I make,it,until I'm 18 can they do anything once im 18

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you would like to know if you runaway as a minor, can the police do anything once you turn 18. While we are not legal experts to our knowledge once you turn 18 (in most states) you are considered an adult and you cannot be returned home. We hope that you found this information helpful. If you have any follow-up question it could be a good idea to reach out to your local police department about what rights you have.
Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 15 and I live in Washington. Things aren’t good with my parents; they call me names and they yell at me and guilt trip me and sometimes they hit me (even though it never hurts too bad) or throw things at me. When I came out to them as bisexual a few years ago my parents got super abusive and when they caught my boyfriend running out of the house while we were home alone two weeks ago my dad kept calling me a slut and stuff and he said he’d be perfectly fine with killing me and going to jail for it. He told me to open up my phone and show me the texts I sent my boyfriend telling him to come over and I couldn’t cause there were a few sexually explicit texts so I ran into my bathroom, locked the door, and deleted my entire history while my dad tried to break down the bathroom door. Sometimes my parents withhold food from me ( never for too long) because I’m overweight and they make me step on the scale and they yell at me when they catch me sneaking food. I was diagnosed with depression but my parents refuse to accept it as a real disease and call me lazy and it only got worse when they saw my self harm scars. My parents want to move to India and I don’t want to live there because it’s easier for them to get away with abusing me. My parents are the only real problems I have in my life and I don’t want to be around them at all and I just want to get away from it all and my boyfriend can house me (he’s 18 and he has an apartment) and so can my best friends mom (she sees me as her own kid cause I go over to her house often and she moved out at 15 so she would empathize with me and let me live there and I have a friend who I’m not super close to but would be willing to house me indefinitely and my parents and most of my friends don’t know we know each other so I could fly under the radar there. I have a few legal questions;

1.) would it be bad if the police found me living with my boyfriend or found out we were having sex?
2.) if I reported my parents as abusive would I be able to live with my best friends mom?
3.) how would I be able to get a job or find a place to live or finish high school if I ran away from home?
3.) if I do end up moving to India and I book a flight home on my 18th birthday and run away from home, does my future Indian high school have to send my current high school my transcript? I’d be a senior so would I be forced to have a gap year between college and high school?

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. We got another message from you asking where to find the recent submissions to our forums - to clarify, because this is a public facing forum and we get a lot of prank forum posts, graphic posts, and posts encouraging youth to run away with each other, we have to approve all the posts before they become public. Your post was just waiting for approval.

Firstly, a lot of what you describe are things that you don't deserve to put up with. Your parents should never be intentionally harming you or depriving you of food. Your parents hitting you, throwing things at you, threatening to kill you, and withholding food from you are all things that are not your fault and things you don't deserve. We would be happy to file a report to child protective services if you want; just call in at 1-800-786-2929. If you want to call us anyway, but either don't want to report or are unsure about whether you want to report, then it may be best for you to stay anonymous. We are mandated reporters, so by law we are required to report instances that could be considered child abuse to CPS if we know things about a youth like their name, their parents' names, and their address. You are free to talk with us confidentially about these issues 24/7.

You mention that you have some legal questions. We are not legal experts, so we admit we might be wrong. You may want to have us reach out to your non-emergency police department to gather some of the information you are interested in learning. Again, just call us. In the meantime, we'll answer as best as we can.

Because you are 15 and the age of majority in Washington is 16, your boyfriend may be penalized according to the laws where you live for statutory rape. Again, we're not legal experts, so we don't know what penalties are attached to those charges. That could be something else we ask local police for you. Additionally, we think it's a shame that your parents are abusive now that you have told them you're bisexual; your sexuality is something you should be able to identify to your loved ones without having to be afraid of violence or persecution.

Child protective services is another agency we're not affiliated with. If you report abuse to CPS, you may be taken from the home, but we can't necessarily predict where you would be rehoused.

Questions about finishing school as a runaway can be directed to the National Center for Homeless Educational Helpline (1-800-308-2145). According to the McKinney-Vento Act, you do have a federally-secured right to attend high school as a runaway/homeless youth. How exactly you can access your education is dependent on the laws and infrastructure in your area, though, so again we can't necessarily answer that with certainty.

Unfortunately we are not able to answer questions about laws in other countries because they vary so widely. Laws in the U.S. are difficult enough to keep up with, and we're by no mean legal experts here. So unfortunately we're not able to say what rights you have in India, or what your potential Indian high school would have to do if you left.

Hopefully this was helpful,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 17 and an early graduate. I have 7 months until I'm 18 but I cannot take living with my parents. There are many occasions of neglect. I have raised my siblings and took care of the house for years. There is no physical abuse, I just am tired of taking on the responsibilities of my parents. Recently some examples of neglect is failure to respond and take care of health. I have had a painful jaw inallignment for last 6 months and still my parents failed to take me to the doctor for it. Now, I have tonsilitous and my mother and grandmother refuse to take me unless I repeatedly clean up after them and the kids. They say I never do anything for them and refuse to acknowledge all of my work. They dont really talk to me and I am always stuck at the house. Can I just leave since I worked to show my independence and responsibility by graduating an entire year early and I have taken care of the house and my siblings for years?

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We’re sorry to hear that things have been so rough at home. Taking on the responsibilities of your parents at your age must be exhausting. And on top of that, not having your healthcare needs met must be so frustrating. It’s commendable that you have been able to take care of your siblings, but you shouldn’t be burdened with that at your age. We want you to know that you are not alone. We are here for you.

It’s great that you have been able to graduate early! Congrats! However, even though you are done with school, you are still legally considered a minor until you turn 18 in most states. This makes it difficult to leave home without the consent of your parents. Your parents would have the right to file a runaway report. This wouldn’t get you in any legal trouble, but it would make it more likely that
the police would bring you back to your parents if you were to come into contact with them.
Now, in some states there are options like emancipation, which can make you legally considered an adult before you are 18. This typically would require you to have a lawyer make a case to a judge that you have me your state’s requirement for emancipation. Although we are not legal experts, if you were to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can help you understand the process in your state (if it’s available) and potentially connect you with a lawyer in your area. However, the court system can be slow and the process can be lengthy, so with only 7 months until you turn 18 it may not be much faster than waiting for your birthday.

Lastly, if you are considering leaving home without your parents’ permission and without seeking emancipation, we strongly encourage you to develop a safe plan. Calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chatting with us at www.1800runaway.org is a great way to brainstorm a safety plan. We can also discuss other options, such as having a conference call with you and your parents to discuss the issues at home.

Thank you again for contacting NRS. We are here for you 24/7 if you decide you want to discuss anything with us. We are here to listen, here to help. We wish you the best of luck and hope things start to get better for you.

Be Safe,
NRS

[Guest]

me and my mother we always argue and there's always tension it's unbearable she plays favorites and it's very obvious and it's getting difficult I'm going to run away and I still want to continue school and working if I did online school can I still get reported or get caught and if I get a job could I get reported as well or found with my best bet to be staying low and just keep myself minimalistic as possible or will I be able to continue my education and work so when I do turn 18 I can be on my own?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that there is tension between you and your mom. It sounds like you are thinking about running away. Having a plan about where you would go and how you would take care of yourself is important. If you decide to runaway your mom has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they may return you home. Runaway reports are nation wide so there is a chance that you could get caught if you get a job or attend school. Please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

Okay, So basically I am 14, about to turn 15 and my dad has hit me. The court has an ongoing case right now, but i don't think they're going to take me out of my house. What do I do? My friend wants me to come live with him, and his parents are okay with it, and another friend wants me to go otr with her. I would be notifying my school and the caseworker, I'm scared my dad could kill me at some point in time, so I'm trying to just get out of there. Any help?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. From what you shared, it sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation and we are here to help you as best we can. We are going to talk about a few things and if you want to talk further or brainstorm other ideas, we are here 24/7 over our phone lines (1-800-RUNAWAY) and we also have an online chat system as well.

You do not deserve to be hit by your dad and we are very sorry to hear that you are going through this situation. It takes a lot of bravery to reach out as you said you have a case with the court, but we understand your concern with your dad as you are still unsafe. Just so you do know, if at any point you are unsafe and in a dangerous situation you 100% have the right to call 911. Your safety is the top priority and if it does come to be a dangerous situation with your dad, you’re allowed to call for emergency help.

If you do feel you need to leave your home, but it is not an emergency, you do have the choice to. You dad may file something called a runaway report if you do so. Running away isn’t illegal per say, but from our knowledge as we aren’t legal experts, is that it is a status offense like breaking curfew. If you do need to leave to your friends for your safety and you dad makes a report, the police will just try to pick you up and bring you home. Since you are under the age of adulthood being 18. If that does happen, you are also allowed to tell the officers that home is not safe. They will then have to contact Child Protective Services to pass along that information and investigate. That is a safety plan to think about in case you do need to leave. If you are thinking about making a child abuse report like you mentioned talking to a school counselor and your caseworker, we can also help with that process. Child Help (1-800-422-2253) is a great resource to ask any questions about reporting and the process and answer any questions you have. They can also help you if you want to make a report before you can reach out to your case worker or school counselor. We are also here 24/7 as well if you want us to help you with the reporting process. We are mandated reporters meaning once you share identifying factors (your name, your dad’s name, your address, etc.) we would have to pass along what we know to CPS. Again, if you just want to talk without reporting we can do so confidentially as long as you don’t share that information with us.

It sounds like you have been through a lot, but are really mature and trying your hardest in a difficult situation. Again, we are here 24/7 for you and we really do care about you so don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

So I’m 18 and I have a legal gaurdian because I went to court to get a gaurdian to help me out with life because of the abuse and neglect I went through in my past that didn’t help and I re l as if I’m being mentally abused again so I’m wondering if I ran away would the cops be able to hunt me down and drag me back?

[ccsmod0]

Hello, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are taking active steps to ensure your mental health.
It sounds like you are asking if you are able to run away from your house even though you are technically and adult. Since you mentioned that you went to court to get guardianship extended it might not be as simple as you being able to move out. It could be a good idea to get in contact with whatever legal representation that you had to get the guardianship extended. We say this because we are not legal representatives and cannot say what rights you have.
Again, thanks for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to standup for yourself and we want you to know that we are here to help. If you need anything else please give us a call anytime 1-800-786-2929
Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

My daughters boyfriend talked her into running away with him we are very worried we have not seen her in three days I love her in the whole family loves her very much. Her boyfriend is a runaway and she ended up just going with him. She does obtain a passport. How do I make sure that she does not use that passport is there a way to cancel it or do I have to notify airlines. Her boyfriend is wanted by The police. And I just want my daughter to be home safe.

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for reaching out to NRS we appreciate the fact that you have reached out to us in order to seek help. Our hope is to provide you with resources and tips to make the best of your situation.
Though we are not legal experts what we can say about your situation is that if your daughter is a minor you do have the right to file a runaway report. This means that if the police know or you know they can go and pick her up and bring her back to you. As far as passport issues if she was trying to use her passport she would only be able to use it if she was 18 or older. To try and use a passport requires much more than just having a passport. They often require parent consent in order to let anyone go anywhere if they are minors.
Again we want to thank you for seeking us out. Our hope is that we have given you enough options to explore in order to best help you in your time of stress and hardship. If you have any questions or concerns that might come up please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or use our chat option online at (www.1800runaway.org). We hope you can find a solution to the matter at hand.
Best Wishes- NRS

[Guest]

Hi I have been thinking about running away for a long time now because well ever since I was little my mom tried to kill me and a few days ago my mom bite me, threw a knife at me, and held s gun up to my head. I want to runaway but i don’t think the police will understand. I don’t want to go back to my mom. I don’t want to go to CPS because they will take me and my brother away not my mom.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. You mentioned wanting to run away, because you are a minor if you were to leave home without your parent’s permission you could be considered as a runaway. We are not legal experts but running away is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. What that means is if you were found by the police you would most likely be brought back home. You also mentioned getting a court order to get different parents, you could consider emancipation. Emancipation is where you would petition to the courts to allow you to become an adult before 18. If you would like to talk more about the emancipation process please give us a call. We hope this situation was helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to discuss more please feel free to give us a call. We wish you the best of luck in your situation.
Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Being 15, an a run away can I get a job? If I have all my stuff to get that job?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you’re having a rough time at home and want to run away.

We aren’t legal experts here, but we can speak in generalities. If you were to run away and your parents/guardians were to file a runaway report on you, there is a chance that runaway report could come up in a background check if you applied for a job.

Also, some companies will allow 15 year olds to work for them, but may require parental consent. Or you may have to provide your parents/guardians names and phone numbers in your job application. The company may also limit the number of hours you can work as you are still a minor.

We would be happy to talk to you about this in more detail if you’d like to give us a call. We are here 24/7. Thank you and good luck with everything.