Way to much on my plate. Help please?

[Guest]

Okay, so I've lived with my grandparents since I was about 4. My moms in jail, my dad got out in April '10. I've never liked it here, I hate how they parent, my grandpa, my dads stepfather, had two daughters with another women before my grandmother. My grandmother already had a son, my dad, when she got married to my step-grandfather. They had a son, he's 23 now. He still lives here. All four of those kids had a drug/acholicism issue before they turned 25. They all have never been married and have kids [except the youngest one, he doesn't have kids] My grandparents are raising myself and two other of their grandchildren, there are 6 grandkids in all, all the same way. I have already been going down the path that my mom did, and I don't like it, I contemplated.
killing myself for the longest time, I have scars in too many places, I have blood stained shirts that I can't throw away because my grandmother WILL find them, and they'll send me to the retreat again. I need to get
away. Now. I hate how we get treated. I can do well, not get introuble for months, I mess up once, it's back to "you're just like your mom, you can't do anything" I just want to get away, I've thought about this for a long time, there is no way I will be able to live with my mom before I turn 18. My father is still in shock about me not being a little girl anymore like I was when he left. I cannot deal with this life anymore. I was just wondering if I get caught after I get away, what will happen? Will I get put in foster care? Because I have talked to a few of my friends the are/have been in the fostercares around here and they all said that they're pretty decent. I would more then likely stay with my moms mother for the time being, if they found out she was hiding me, would she get in trouble? I just need to hear some opinions. And I'm 14. My birthday is in July. I have 4 more years, I can't be here that much longer. And I'm not a normal 14 year old. I've been through alot more then an adult should go through, so I hate being treated young. I am perfectly capable of taking care of me. Please? Help?

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Re: Way to much on my plate. Help please?

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We’re sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation right now and hopefully we will be able to help you out. It’s takes a very brave person to reach out when they need help and we’re glad that you were able to do that.

It sounds like it’s very difficult for you to live with your grandparents and all their other grandchildren. You said that your father was released from jail in April of 2010; how has your relationship with him been since he was released? How is your relationship with your mom; do you speak with her often? You also said that you were going down the same path as your mom; what do you mean by that?

If you were to leave home, where do you think you’ll go? Running away isn’t illegal but it is considered a status offense. A status offense is something that you can’t do because you’re a minor but if the police were to find you, they would just return you home or contact your grandparents to let them know where you are. We can’t say if you would be put into foster care or not, that may be something that you could call the local police to find out. You may be able to anonymously call them to ask what the consequences are for running away.

You also mentioned staying with your mom’s mom for a period of time. Is that an option for you? Would your grandparents transfer custody to her? If you were to run to her and your grandparents filed a runaway report, she may face legal consequences for harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. We don’t know what the exact legal consequences for that are.

It sounds like you have been through a lot for a 14 year old and again, we are sorry to hear that. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you have any other questions or would like some resources to help you further. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and look forward to hearing from you.

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: Way to much on my plate. Help please?

Thanks for the quick response. And my dad used to be my hero, but we don't talk much. And it's small talk if anything. And my mom, we don't talk, my grandma doesn't allow much contact beside an occasional letter. And no, they would not allow me to live with my maternal grandma, she's a heavy acohilic. And being like my mom is, doing drugs, drinking, lots if bad stuff. And my main opjective is to get put into fostercare.

[ccsmod5]

Re: Way to much on my plate. Help please?

Hello,
Getting into foster care is something that has to be conducted through social services. They usually do an investigation to see why the youth can't/won't be with their current legal guardians and then if they have supportive evidence from you and your experiences they will proceed accordingly and find a safer home/situation for you.

With all that said, it's not super easy to get placed into foster care/group home. I'm not sure what it is they look for but basically they need to deem your current home unsafe.

If you feel like that's possible, you can call your state abuse hotline and talk to them about what's going on. If you'd like you can call here and talk about those options with us and we can even make the call to social services with you.

If this isn't what you want to do you can still call here and we can explore all of this together along with other options. We're available 24/7 at 1800.RUNAWAY

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to put myself in fostercare because my family is emotionally abusing me. If i get no help I will runaway. please help me. my email is @ [email protected]

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You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your family. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS