about the fam.. really could use advice..

[Guest]

okay.. well im 17.. i live with my mom and step-dad. i dont really have alot of people to talk to so maybe ya'll can help.. ive lived the normal teenage life parties, friends, all that. well i left high school about a year ago and started homeschooling. i couldnt deal with the drama that goes along with getting your education. had a few jobs. never had the mother/daughter relationship that every kid should have. not as in that she didnt provide me with the things that i need. but having things bought for you can only make you happy for a moment i would rather have the love and support of a mother than a bunch of priceless stuff that i will eventually not have one day. i guess the problem would just be that when i talk to someone face to face i think it is right for the other person to ecknowledge that you are even talking to them. maybe even go out and have a little fun. but i never get that. i believe that my mother has issues with her medication that could add on for what ever is going on inside of that head of hers and my father is wanting me to come live with him but if he cant take care of himself. i am more mature for my age. ive been through the drinking and acting like a kid and ive just focused on my life, what i wanna do and where i wanna go. i guess you could say im very wise for my age. im actually wanting to go a more legal way about getting out of my mothers house but she isnt going to let it get to that so maybe running away could be a chioce. ive read everthing from emancipation laws to what would happen if you run away even though where im from its not illegal but you can still go to court..?? really dont understand that one but i guess there is reasons for everything in this crazy world. im wanting to leave because i believe that me actually getting out in this world might make a difference for me and maybe me and my mothers relationship. i dont hate her but maybe everything will be alright after i leave her house. and my brother doesnt make it any better for me. i could go on about my whole life story but just needing advice on what to do or just someone to talk to. every little bit counts to me....

[ccsmod6]

Re: about the fam.. really could use advice..

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It seems like you are unhappy about the life you are living and we are sorry to hear. It is unfortunate that you feel leaving home is the best option to improving your relationship with your mother. It must be pretty tough not being able to bond with your mother and not receive love and support from her.

It seems that you are a mature individual who has been thinking of ways to make things better in your life. You stated that you have read about emancipation laws and the possible consequences of running away. Do you feel that emancipation is not an option for you? Emancipation is a legal process that gives a teenager, generally 16 years or older, legal independence from their parent(s) or legal guardian(s). The emancipation process or requirements may vary depending on the state you’re located in.

Generally speaking, running away is not illegal and is considered a status offense. Parents have the right to file a runaway report which is then entered into a Law Enforcement national database. Parents are contacted when Law Enforcement agents comes into contact with runaway youth. In general, the courts do not get involved unless the youth is a habitual runaway.

It seems that you and your mother's relationship is the biggest factor contributing to your decision to leave home. Have family counseling or therapy been tried in the past to address you and your mother’s relationship? If not, is that something you would like to try? Do you feel that leaving home is your only choice? You stated that you couldn’t live with your father because he’s unable to care for himself. Do you have any other relatives who you could possibly stay with? If you decide to leave, how long and where do you have plans on going?

Alternative housing (youth shelter) is a possible option and is discussed with Youth who have already ran away, Youth in need of housing, and with Youth contemplating running away. Alternative housing for Youth programs are generally found in most cities. Intake procedures, polices, and the length of stay do vary among agencies.

Unfortunately we cannot give advice on what to do but we can explore with you possible options. We hope the information provided helps you when making a decision. If you have any additional questions or just in need of someone to talk to, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Our hotline is anonymous and confidential and we are available 24 hours 7 days a week.

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: about the fam.. really could use advice..

she is not going to go to counceling or let me live with any other family member.. if i knew that i could and her not be able to do anything about it then i would.. i just had to go to a probation place for assualt in 3rd degree on this girl and it was written down that they gave me a lecture.. and my mom was happy about it because she didnt have to pay any money.. but i was told if anyone messes with me to just walk away and tell my parent.. well when that person is at my own house and my mother doesnt do anything about it then i mean really what can i do?? i guess it has alot to do with my mom but then again other people in my house just add onto it.. its like being in a room full of people but then you feel like your the only one there. and ive tried to talk to her myself and she just either doesnt wanna talk or yells about it. and i really just wanna leave legally. not just runaway where they can bring me back. and the emancipation laws for my state is join the army, get married, or prove her unfit and i dont know how i would prove that about her since its not that she doesnt take care of me;; its what should go along with it. i really dont know how i can deal with it much longer because its just a build up of stress and unhappiness that will not go away. im just hoping one day that everything will change for the best..

[ccsmod0]

Re: about the fam.. really could use advice..

Thanks again for contacting us here at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are getting pretty frustrated with what is going on at home. This cannot be easy for you. If you do not think that your mom is willing to go to counseling with you do you think going to some kind of family outing that may make it easier for you and your mom to talk would be an option? Just taking walks can sometimes help to get the both of you out of the house where you normally have these issues.

We can talk about some options to try and open some communication up at home if you can give us a call. We also have a message service where you can leave a message for your mom and she can respond back that way so that you can say what you feel without having to have that face to face conversation. We also provide the option of conference calling if you think that having a third party involved would help.

If you would like information on shelters in your area we could try to find you those too. Alot of shelters are into the idea of family reunification so they may be able to help you and your mothers relationship progress.This may also just serve as a place for you to get some air and leave your house for a temporary amount of time.
Again, if you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can go into more detail about shelters and even perhaps some other options. We are 24 hours and are toll-free even from a payphone. We hope you are doing ok and will be here to help.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

NRS