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  • Adult run away :(

    Hi, I need help. I am an 18 year old female. I am here because ii need a place to stay while I run away. My family wants to go to my home country (Yemen). I am afraid to go there becuz of the freedom that will be taken a way from me and possible marriage. I do have a friend who will pick me up wen my parents leave so that I dont have to go. However, I dont have any place to stay. I can't get out of the house yet to look for places to stay, so ii need a temporary place to stay until I find a roommate to share with and a decent job.

    I have told my parents countless time about not going but they will make me. I have used every excuse and told them all my reasons, but they wont budge. The culture will not allow them to let me stay, its not right for a girl to stay alone.

    Is there any place I can go and maybe have a temporary home?
    Please.

  • #2
    Re: Adult run away

    Hello,

    Thank you for taking the time to reach out for support from the National Runaway Switchboard. We imagine this is not an easy time for you right now. It sounds like a very stressful situation for you. It seems that you are not for the idea of allowing tradition to take hold of your desire to live life on your own terms. It sounds like a lot to have to balance but imagine you might rather be doing so much more at your age. It seems you are interested in the opportunity to cool off a bit. Are you thinking of something more permanent?

    There are options for what is called Transitional Living Programs (TLP) or an emergency shelter where you can stay for some time but not for long. You do have that option because you are old enough to sign yourself into a shelter. Shelters can help with what you are seeking. They provide career counseling and can help you find jobs but mainly for a place to get basic support and other resources. It sounds like you have friends you can count on in this time of need. Have you had the chance to speak with anyone with regards to your feelings?

    We can also provide support to you directly if you were to give us a call here at 1800RUNAWAY. We are confidential and anonymous. Please call if you wish for us to provide you with resources for the shelters or TLPs in your area. Good luck and stay strong.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Adult run away

      I'm afraid ii cant call. My parents are always on me about who I'm calling and what I'm saying. They dont know that I am planning on staying here.

      Do these programs cost? If so, how much?

      I live in Detroit, Mi. And im afraid of living out in the streets.

      I want something temporary, nothing permanent. Just enough time to get a job and find a place to stay. I want to be able to attend college, so just about 2 months or so.

      && ii have spoken to a few friends. One of them is helping me leave the house and the other ones can't help me because their parents wont allow them, so as if right now im alone in finding a place to stay.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Adult run away

        Hi,
        We are sorry that you are having such a tough time with your family and finding a place to stay. Since you cannot call us we can give you some different shelters in Detroit. They don’t cost anything but there will still be rules you will have to follow while staying there; things like chores and curfew. Unfortunately we cannot give you an address but only the phone numbers. You may be able to look online at an address but it is good to contact the shelter before you go to make sure they have room and to verify that the address you may find is actually the shelter location and not just an office.
        The following shelters are in Detroit and can take in women your age:
        Alternatives for Girls
        (313) 361-4000

        Covenant House
        (313)463-2000

        Detroit City Rescue Mission
        (313) 993-4700

        Salvation Army
        (313)537-2130

        Again, you will have to find out if there is space available and they will also be able to tell you how long you will be able to stay. Again, if you can find a way to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can help you call out to shelters. We are free from any payphone so if there is a way you can get to a pay phone we are here 24/7.
        Good luck to you and stay safe.
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Adult run away

          Thank you veryy much!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Adult run away

            Hi,
            You are very welcome and we hope that helps. Good luck again and call us anytime at 1800-RUNAWAY. Take care.

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I'll help adult runaway

              To the 18 year old whose family is going back to the middle east, I might be able to help you. I'm a 48 year old woman who came from the middle east back in the '70s. I understand the culture and what you are struggling with. I'm In Ohio and Will consider learning more to see if it's appropriate for me to help. I'm a safe person, no criminal record or anything. I have to adult kids in their 20s and I'm divorced.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Reply to Adult run away

                Hello there,

                It sounds like you have an idea of what this young person went through. It looks like this posting was from 2010, but we appreciate your kind words. There is also the Arab-American & Chaldean Council (http://www.myacc.org/) which we found in our referral database. It looks like they offer a variety of services and they are based in the Detroit metro area. They might be a resource for you if you are considering helping other young people at risk of going back to the Middle East without wanting to. Thanks again for your interest in our bulletin boards.

                -NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  I know this post was a few years ago, but I’m going through the same problem right now. My parents want to take me back to Iraq and expect me to get married. I want to finish off college and have an opportunity to live the life I want here in America. I was raised here and now that I’m older (20) they want me to go back. I gained a lot of information from reading these posts about staying at a shelter while I start working and eventually find a place of my own. My only problem is I can’t run away and stay in the same area, as my family will try to locate me. Am I eligible to stay in a shelter outside my state or county? Somewhere safe for me and away from my family.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi,

                    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really difficult at home right now. Home should be a place where you feel safe and loved. We are here to help you explore your options.

                    From what you’ve shared it sounds like your parents have put you in a tough situation regarding your future. You have done a really good job of brainstorming some of your options and ways that you can take care of yourself on your own.

                    While we are not legal experts, generally speaking since you are considered a legal adult, you have the right to leave home. You mentioned shelters and we can help you look up shelters and transitional living arrangements- places that help you find a job and build life skills with the goal of you moving out of the home eventually to live on your own. If you contact us directly via chat, email or by calling, we can look up some of those shelters and homes.

                    In regards to if you can stay in a shelter outside of your state or county, yes you can. Shelters exist to take people in who are at risk of being homeless or in a dangerous situations. It doesn’t matter where you originally came from. If you’re interested in staying at a shelter you can either call them beforehand or show up in person to see if they have space for you. Sometimes they can also help refer you to other shelters in their area. Also, larger cities tend to have more options if you are considering looking outside of the area your family is in.

                    Another option could be to see if your college has any housing options for you, in a secure location that your parents would not be able to find out about. You are very responsible for thinking about your future and how you can go about working and finish college. You have many options available to you.

                    If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website at www.1800.runaway.org. We look forward to hearing from you.

                    Take care,
                    NRS

                • #10
                  Hi, I'm from England around Stratford-upon-Avon. I am planning on running away from home and have been wanting to since the start of high school, I'm currently 19, 20 in a few days. I can't stand my parents blaming me for my sister leaving, everything that goes wrong in their lives. They always bring up things I have done in the past and make me feel bad and not worthy of myself.

                  I have tried my hardest to try and get along with my parents but I just can't do it anymore. I have no money, no car, no job, nowhere to stay .. I don't know what to do anymore

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod5
                    ccsmod5 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and it must be so frustrating feeling like your family blames you for things that are not your fault. In our limited experience, it would seem that you are an adult and are free to leave your parents' home whenever you choose. You might consider staying with a friend or a family member, or a shelter if you are able. Beyond this, we are unfortunately limited in our ability to help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
                    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
                    Last edited by ccsmod5; 03-06-2018, 04:47 PM.

                • #11
                  I need help to runaway am a jamaican female I am getting very suicidal and unhappy I cant sleep or eat I am sick in my stomach every day

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod3
                    ccsmod3 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of adults in crisis related laws is limited to the USA.

                    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect you in your country.

                    -NRS

                • #12
                  I'm sadly in the same situation except I'm 19 and my parents want me to get married to some man from Pakistan
                  I've been researching ways to avoid this and maybe run away and stay at a nearby motel for a bit or something but it's hard since I'm in the middle of my college career. I just need to get away since my parents are very adamant when it comes to their tradition and culture and being queer is like spitting in their face...

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod9
                    ccsmod9 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

                • #13
                  What sort of services do you offer to help sort out a plan?
                  Concerning the expenses part, in my current situation I'm not able to get employed due to traditional standards and such and I don't think my parents would be paying for my tuition and healthcare.
                  I am willing to look into social service agencies, if there are any in the Northern California region.
                  Thank you..

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod2
                    ccsmod2 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello,
                    Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you are looking for help paying for school and healthcare. https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ is a good resource if you are looking for housing, and several homeless shelters have programs for health care. If you are still in high school, the National Center for Homeless Educational Helpline at 1-800-308-2145 is another good resource for you to contact. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we are here for you 24/7.
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