problems no solutions

[Guest]

hello, i have some problems. every day now there seems to be at least one moment where i really want to die or runaway... my dad always calls me a b**** and thinks its me and i hate it, the verbal abuse hurts! and he always expects me to forgive him and be perfectly normal within 30 minutes... hes not like that with my brother, who i love but he can still be a pain sometimes but if i do something to him im a b**** as my dad always says i go to bed b****y and wake up b****y am i missing something because i am almost never the problem... another issue is my mom just recently left my second step dad for a new boyfriend and i never see her anymore ive seen her about 3 days within the last 2 monthes but i almost dont want to see her i went rock climbing with her a her new boyfriend last weekend and when we went to his house after wards (which is a pretty nice house) i went upstairs and saw a two way d***o under their bed. i felt like busting into tears and freaking out... im 13!! and i dont even know her anymore shes a completely different stranger everytime she has a new guy and i dont even know if she knows herself anymore...i shouldnt have to see that stuff!!! i hate my life and when i get home i never want to talk to people so i close my door and sit on my bed! please help me im to chicken to kill myself but i have to do something.. and running away seems like the only way now

[ccsmod5]

Re: problems no solutions

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us and talking about all of the intense things happening in your life right now. Sounds like there is so much happening that you don’t have control over especially when other people aren’t treating you right. It’s not okay that your father is calling you names and treating you ways that are intense and disrespectful towards you. You do not have to put up with that. Does anyone outside of the house (relatives, friends, teachers, etc) know that your dad is treating you this way? Has anything ever been done? Sounds like the way your dad communicates with you is not productive or safe. Would going to counseling sessions with him (with a professional mediator) be useful? What would he say to that?

The issue with your mother also sounds frustrating. It’s good that you notice that the relationship between you and your mother is changing and it’s sad to hear that it’s changing in a way that makes you feel like you “never see her anymore”. Have you expressed to your mom that you miss the amount and quality of time you both spend together? Would she be receptive of your feelings and concerns more than your dad would?

And above all, everything that is happening seems to be affecting you negatively enough to make you feel like dying or killing yourself. Have you ever thought about this before or a long time? Have you talked to anyone about suicide? Sounds like that’s a very overwhelming emotion and if you feel like you are serious about that, would it be helpful for you to tell someone? It doesn’t sound like you really want to do that but you do want safe and calm results right away. And as you mentioned, running away might be your best bet. Where do you think you could go? Would you want to stay gone for a while? Sometimes, when youth run from home, parents file runaway reports with the police to inform all departments that you have left home without permission. However, if you decide to go to a shelter, workers there would work hard to get you safe and get you the attention you need to make sure that stuff at home changes. Would you be willing to do that if you run from home?

If you feel like talking about this more with us or other agencies, here are some resources that might be helpful if you still feel like killing yourself, running away or just calling in to talk to us a bit more in depth about your situation:

National Suicide Hotline
1800-273-TALK (8255)

(please let us know if you’d like a shelter-we would need your city/state to find something for you)

National Runaway Switchboard
1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

And we are available 24 hrs a day and will be willing to talk about things that are going on and offer a few more resources that could be helpful for you.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: problems no solutions

my dads not really a big bad guy here its just to much sometimes i know he loves me but he just says some hurtful things every now and then. i really just want a theripist to talk to about everything but i dont know how to tell my dad that... theres so many things in my life that i cant share my true feelings with to anyone and im starting to think i can just run away from my problems.... maybe for a day or two... i know id come back i just need to have a place to go where i could be alone... completely alone.....and a plan

[ccsmod3]

Re: problems no solutions

It sounds like you would like to talk to a therapist except you are unsure how to tell this to your dad. It varies from state to state, but oftentimes youth are allowed so many sessions before the therapist is required to contact the parent/guardian. If you’d like to tell us your city and state we can provide you with some therapy resources. You are also welcome to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can do the same thing. It sounds like deep down you feel that your dad does love you and just says hurtful things sometimes. You mention you think you will be gone for just a day or two if you do leave. Oftentimes runaway and homeless youth shelters can give youth a break from whatever is going on at home. Might that be an option? Here is a link which can give you shelters and other programs available based on state. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/co ... locate.htm While we are not here to tell you what to do, we can certainly try and help you come up with a plan for your decisions. We look forward to your call and hope you stay safe and strong in the meantime.

Good luck,
NRS