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  • Not getting caught

    OK so im 16 and live in Texas. I really dont want to be living at home anymore. Im tired of being put down by my mom at everything I do. I feel like she doesnt ever appreciate me and what I do for her. She gets mad at me for simple things. Like when i made her a little late to church on her birthday. She told me I ruined her birthday. I just dont get it. I try my best to make her happy because she is a single parent with 3 kids. I even tried committing suiced twice because I thought it would be better for her not having another kid to worry about. I have a 28 year old boyfriend who I work with and acutally who is my boss. He said he would take me in to live with him. But the last thing I want to do is get him into trouble if I get caught because he has a son he takes care of and i dont want him to go to jail over me. I dont know what to do. School starts next week and Im clueless. I talked to my grandma to see if she would take me in. She said no because she didnt want my mom to be mad at her and for there relationship to be messed up because of me. And living with my dad is not an option because I barely even talk to him. How can I run away without getting caught or found. Just stay in the house til all this blows over??? Please help! Thanks soo much.

  • #2
    Re: Not getting caught

    Thank You for contacting NRS. We are sorry to hear that your mom is putting you down. It sounds like you would like your mom to appreciate you more. We are also glad to see that even though you tried to commit suicide before, you are still alive. What would it take for you to stay at home? What would make things better for you at home? It does sound like you do care alot about your mom despite her putting you down. Theres no gauruntee that you will not get caught if you run away. Your boyfriend can get in serious trouble if they find out you are staying with him, harboring a run away is illegal. Here ar NRS we offer a conference call service where someone here, you, and your mom will be on the phone all together and we can try to work out any issues that may be going on. Also if you happen to decide to leave home we can help you find a shelter to stay at. Most shelters to require parental consent though. If you would lik to use our conference call service you talk to someone some more about your situation, please give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY. We would love to hear from you.

    Also if you ever feel like hurting yourself please promise us that you will call somebody before you do anything serious. You can always call us or the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK if you are feeling suicidal.

    Good Luck
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Not getting caught

      I know how you feel. i'm planning on waiting until i get my car and drive to vancouver until im 21.i'm 16 now.
      Originally posted by Anonymous
      OK so im 16 and live in Texas. I really dont want to be living at home anymore. Im tired of being put down by my mom at everything I do. I feel like she doesnt ever appreciate me and what I do for her. She gets mad at me for simple things. Like when i made her a little late to church on her birthday. She told me I ruined her birthday. I just dont get it. I try my best to make her happy because she is a single parent with 3 kids. I even tried committing suiced twice because I thought it would be better for her not having another kid to worry about. I have a 28 year old boyfriend who I work with and acutally who is my boss. He said he would take me in to live with him. But the last thing I want to do is get him into trouble if I get caught because he has a son he takes care of and i dont want him to go to jail over me. I dont know what to do. School starts next week and Im clueless. I talked to my grandma to see if she would take me in. She said no because she didnt want my mom to be mad at her and for there relationship to be messed up because of me. And living with my dad is not an option because I barely even talk to him. How can I run away without getting caught or found. Just stay in the house til all this blows over??? Please help! Thanks soo much.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Not getting caught

        It definitely sounds like you are dealing with a difficult situation as well. If you ever find that you need someone to speak with remember that you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. If you need to talk about options or even need resources we are available 24 hours a day. In the meantime stay safe and take care.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Not getting caught

          This is the exact same thing I am going through.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Not getting caught

            Hi,

            Thanks for sharing that you are also going through a difficult time. We are here 24/7 and we are anonymous and confidential. Give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY whenever you need to talk.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Not getting caught

              I feel I have to run away because I am gay. I live with my grandparents, they are strict Catholics. Everyday is a struggle for me to restrain myself from confronting them on the attacks they lead on the gay community. They don't know that I'm gay because it isn't blantantly obvious. I plan on finishing highschool (I'm a Junior) and once I graduate I'm moving as far away from here as possible. I cannot continue to endure the harassment. I would leave now if I could, but I know It would screw up all the hard work I did in school and I would probably end up getting caught by the police.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Not getting caught

                Thanks for writing back and giving us a little more insight on what’s going on. It sounds like home is a place that is hard for you to live because of some of your grandparents’ views. From the little you wrote it sounds like you’ve really put thought into leaving now and decided it probably wasn’t the best idea. It’s great that you want to finish high school! We would imagine it’s a daily struggle for you to live with your grandparents and not be able to express your true self to them. As far as living at home for the next year, do you feel you have adequate support to help you get through it? You mentioned that you grandparents don’t yet know you’re gay. Are there people in your life that you’re comfortable sharing this part of you with? There are a couple different hotlines that are specific to the GLBTQ community. If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone about all that you’re feeling and going through concerning this, you can call the GLBT National Hotline, #1-888-843-4564 or the Trevor Hotline, #1-866-488-7386. There are also support groups and networks in a lot of local areas. We’d be happy to find one for you if you decided it would be helpful. We’d just need to know a city and state to look in! As we stated before, we’re here 24/7 as well if you ever need to talk or want resources in your local area.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Not getting caught

                  I hate my life and my parents. I live in Florida. My name is... First of all, I'd rather go to prison and get raped then live here at home! My dad verbally abuses me every day. I get blamed for everything that happens in the house. My sister does bad stuff in the house too, but my dad never yells at her. It is terrible. He also threatens to bang my head against the wall until it breaks when I try to defend myself for what he says. So, I hope you guys on the website can help me. I need to run away and never come back or you guys can put me in another home. I am 13 years old. And my mom doesn't do anything about it when my dad does these things. I plea for help!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Not getting caught

                    Hello,

                    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Switchboard. We appreciate and value your story very much. We imagine reaching out to strangers in this time of need is never easy but we respect your bravery and commitment to getting help. We truly empathize with your situation and want you to know that you do not deserve this sort of mistreatment. You said that you have not spoken to your mother. Have you given any thought to sitting her down and explain how you feel? We imagine that it going to be news to her but what if she has a plan for you when you speak with her and help you figure it out from here?

                    It sounds like you have been made to live through so much with verbal and physical abuse. Although we are not in the position to define abuse, we are here to report abuse to Child Protective Services as mandated through state and federal law. As mandated reporters, we share with you the options for what may or may not happen but we cannot predict the outcome. Every situation is handled case by case but your story is indeed in need of some attention. You are right in that "It is terrible" and threatening to bang your head until it breaks is in no way a safe environment for a child to develop and achieve her full potential.

                    Are there alternatives to running away? Who can you turn to as a trusting adult for support? We hear how immediate the situation with is for you. After all, you have chosen to relate your own experience with that of "rather going to prison." We hope no such things ever happen to you. We care a lot for your safety and wish for you to call us for direct support and/or resources. We are here 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. We are confidential and anonymous. We are not confidential if you opted to call us to make a report. When we become mandated reporters, we advocate on your behalf to get the report set up with the investigative unit in your area or 24 hour abuse hotlines.

                    The issue then comes down to proving to the investigators as you stated to us about your father actions. It is easier to prove physical abuse than verbal but it is still important to make sure you are safe. Do you have witnesses or evidence to show what has taken place? It is certainly not a good feeling to be in a position where everything is blamed on you. You deserve to feel like you are able to defend yourself.

                    We want to help even if it means figuring out ways to get you through the tough times. We are here for you and want you to understand that you are not alone. While, we cannot send for you ourselves or get you from home to never return, we have resources to set you in the direction for guidance. We cannot take you away from home but we have information on shelters if you wanted to cool off from home, or number to call for an investigation to take place to see about other options.

                    We cannot promise what is going to happen because Child Protective Services can rule unfounded or founded when it comes to investigating when there is not enough evidence to make a decision to take you away or they can make you go to counseling with you family. Either way, you are important to us. We hope you remain safe and try to overcome.

                    -NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Not getting caught

                      Same person from above...If my dad hits me, will it be a crime for me to hit him back to defend myself??? Please give me a quick reply because if my dad hits me again...I will beat him down to the point where he doesn't get back up to hit me if his punch or slap really hurts.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Not getting caught

                        Hello,

                        We appreciate your quick reply. We are sorry to hear that things have taken a turn for the worse since your last posting. Are you feeling safe at home? Have you thought about contacting the police? As stated before, we are in no position to tell you what to do. It sounds like you are still figuring out alternative ways to defend yourself. What are the consequences of hitting your father? Despite his actions, of which there are many unnecessary ones as you mentioned, he still has the right not to be assaulted as you do.

                        It certainly isn't fair to you for what he has done and continues to do to make you feel unsafe. However, you do have a right to defend yourself when harm is presented to you. It is called the right to self defense. The issue is whether your father can overrule your argument as to why you did it to him to the police. Laws tend to vary from place to place and may apply to you still as a minor. Basically, it comes down to your word versus his and can mean more issues for you depending on the person taking a report if your father called the police. Now it comes down to what you feel is the best choice. You are in control of your life that way although some of what has happened to you is beyond your control. Do you think you have some control from here on out?

                        We care for your safety and those around you despite their own choice to not reciprocate it. We hope you make the best choice for yourself. We are always here for you if you need to vent or talk about other ways to cope. We can be reached 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. Please remember that we are confidential and anonymous. Good luck.

                        -NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Not getting caught

                          Well yeah...I haven't tried to contact the police because I don't want to. You see, if somebody hits me...I will get extremely angry and will have no self control of myself and my mind. If somebody hits me, I will be forced to defend myself and go out of my way to hurt the attacker if I'm not stopped. And, I really and truly wish to go to a different home...My parents also ask me questions about stuff they don't understand and if I don't know the answer...They yell at me and say why am I going to school if I'm not learning...When they ask me questions about stuff they don't even teach in the 8th grade! They also invade my privacy like they check who I'm on the phone with, they check what I'm doing. And they also tell me I'm going to be a failure for the rest of my life. I also have a dream to play professional basketball and I wanna go to a good home because my dad keeps telling me that I won't and never will make it. I wanna go to a home that actually doesn't just constantly keep telling me I'm not going to achieve my dream. So please I seek more advice and also seek some serious help. But, I can't call you guys because my parents will know what numbers were called by the house phone because they have an account on the phone's website which tells them what numbers were called on what day and what time. So, I beg you, please help me!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Not getting caught

                            Hello

                            Thanks for reaching back out to us. Things seem to be pretty rough at home. Have you ever discussed your feelings or the situation at home with anyone else (school guidance counselor, friends, relatives…)? What is your relationship normally like with your parents? Are you able to communicate your feelings to your parents?

                            It seems like you are pretty passionate about playing basketball. Are your parents aware of the passion that you share for the game of basketball? No one deserves to have someone tell them that they will never reach their goals or dreams in life. Everyone deserves to go to a home that provides support and encouragement. Have you and your parents ever been to counseling or therapy to address the home situation? If not, do you believe that counseling/therapy could possibly help with improving your relationship with your parents? It seems you have an idea as to how you want your home life to be, does any options exist that could aid you in achieving the home life you want and deserve?

                            You mentioned that you were seeking serious help, is there any help in specific that you are looking for? You seem to be a very brave person who is willing to accept help to try and make things change for the better. We are glad to assist you in any way that we can so please feel free to get back in contact with us.

                            You also mentioned that you would not be able to give us a call from your house phone because your parents would find out. Our telephone number 1800RUNAWAY is toll-free so if you ever come across a payphone or gain access to another phone, we are a confidential hotline available 24 hours and 7 days a week and would be glad to hear from you.

                            Best of Luck,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Not getting caught

                              Well, I go to basketball practice today...So I can go to a pay phone and call if I steal some money out of my sister's drawer. I probably will get into trouble, but it will all be worth it when I get help from you guys. Because I already know I will be away from this home I currently live in. You see, in my parents eyes, children are supposed to work. So, I'm like a slave child in my home because my mom and dad barely do any work. And no, I can't go to counseling, therapy or sit down with my parents and talk about my feelings. They won't care. So, I'll try to reach you guys for help on a pay phone. And, if there is no way you guys can help me...I'll just run away and never get caught...

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