Home alone, stressed, not loved

[Guest]

Hi, umm I don't really know how to write this, so I'm just going to say my story... When u was four years old my dad would beat me... Bad... It went on til when I was 8... He choked... My mom threatened to kick him out.. But never did. It was better in my family til I was 14. Then my sister moved gymnastics places, my dad went to school, and mom was always with friends. I would be home from 3 to 8:30 everyday. When I have know to tell my feeling to they get mixed up on my head and I start thinging the worse. I started thinking thy they are never home becuaae they don't love me. Also with them not being here, my grades slip because I dilexia and ADHD.. So with out someone pushing me and helping me.. I get off track and stressed cause nothing makes sence! I do have depression meds too but I don't wanna take them.. Idk why! I am also see a thRapist because I started cutting myself! I wanna run but I have no ware to go! Now I'm a 15 year old who's scared of her dad and homealone most of the time... What should I do??

[ccsmod0]

Re: Home alone, stressed, not loved

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Switchboard. We are sorry to hear about all that you are going thorugh. No one deserves to be beaten or feel alone and unloved. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, but that you are reaching out. A therapist can be a good way to sort through your feelings of confusion and depression. Do you feel like you see your therapist often enough to get to some of the answers to help you? If not, is there a way you can see or talk to them more often? You can also bring up your uneasy feelings about your medication and talk about some options you may regarding that situation with your therapist and hopefully you can reach a conclusion you are comfortable with.

If you are feeling that you need a push to get your grades on track there may be someone at your school who can sort that out with you. Possibly even getting a tutor once or twice a week just to keep you on task may be of some help to you. There may also be counseling or peer groups offered at your school that you can turn to for some support.

Do you think it would help to talk about how you feel unloved to anyone in your family?We offer a service here called conference calling where we can help you talk with your parents about how you are feeling and how you both can change things to possibly make the situation better. Your counselor may even be able to bring your parents in for sessions with you so you can all work on things together.

We cannot tell you what you should do, but if you are seriously thinking of leaving there are some things you can think about that you can look also at on our website . It may be helpful to think about some of these questions so that you can determine if this is the best option for you.
• What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
• What would make me stay at home?
• How will I survive?
• Is running away safe?
• Who can I count on to help me?
• Am I being realistic?
• Have I given this enough thought?
• What are my other options?
• If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
• When I return home, what will happen?

Are there any groups you are interested in that you can join for after school? Or any other interests such as sports, hobbies, reading, etc… that will give you something to do and people to see when there is no one else home? If you are ever really scared that someone may hurt you, you can always call 911. There is also a hotline that is 24/7 if you feel like you just need to talk. It’s called Boystown National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. They also have a website at http://www.Boystown.org.

Feel free to call us anytime, anyday if you would like to further explore your options , or if you feel like you need further help. We are completely confidential and anonymous and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY toll free from any phone-even a pay phone. Please take care of yourself and good luck to you.
NRS