Mom's being overcontrolling, I want to run away...

[Guest]

I wrote here a little while ago, and it was really helpful. Things are getting bad at home again so I thought i'd write again.

My mom has various mental illnesses, and I've spoken to my dad many times about leaving her, but he refuses because she can't go out in the world all alone and he just feels it's wrong.
I on the other hand am getting very upset and fed up.

In short, my mom has decided she has to put limits on everything I do because I'm still a child. As much as I understand that, and I'm allowed to have 'fun', i'm not allowed to go all - out because someone is worried or unhappy or what I want to do conflicts with their schedule.
I get good grades in school, I hang out with good friends, but my mom won't allow me the little freedoms I really want.

When I just say it like that, I sound like a spoiled mad brat but that's not what I'm trying to say. I just need another way of coping with this, because my dad is at work most of the time. I can't disrespect my mom because she can take all my privileges away from me. Basically, i'm scared into being meek and when I fight back she uses her parental powers. I'm thinking about running away again so she can stop using her control.

[ccsmod8]

Re: Mom's being overcontrolling, I want to run away...

Hello,

It is great to hear from you again. It is good to see that we were helpful to you at some point. It is good to recognize when you need to reach out to get help. We are always here for you at the National Runaway Switchboard for support and resources. A lot of good points were made in your post today with regards to what buttons you do not wish to push with mom, knowing you risk the chance of losing more opportunities than you already lost. We are sorry to hear that things are not working out at home. How have you been coping with all these issues since our last posting?

How is your relationship with dad? It sounds like you may benefit from having someone to speak to about how you are feeling. Having an adult perspective may add other outlook on the situation at hand. Do you think having dad and mom separate is likely to happen if you made him do it? It sounds like you have his interest in mind but wish to see different things happen for yourself as well. It seems that you are craving the freedom to enable you see more outside the house.

It sounds like your mom could also use the support and your father has recognize that. Is there a way to sit down together to work out some of these differences together? Counseling is can be a bridge to better communication as a family. We can be a source of information and support for you if you call us for resources for counseling. It sounds like you have other options though. What are your thoughts for leaving? Do you have a plan? Do you have money? How will you survive?

We can continue to work with you on what you wish to do. We are confidential and anonymous. We understand your frustration with home life right now. It sounds like you could use the escape but we are not here to push decisions on you. We are here as listening ear if you wish to pull away from the issues at home. Since we are not in the position to tell you what to, we cannot only wish that you give us a call soon. We are not here to judge you. You do not have to feel mad about expressing yourself and your discontents to us. You are not alone. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Mom's being overcontrolling, I want to run away...

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.

My mom went back to school and now stays up long night hours on the computer. Sometimes she doesn't even get any sleep. I've kind of just been telling my friends, and they comfort me but that's not really good enough though I appreciate what they do.

Me and my dad have a good relationship but its hard for us to really talk about deep important feelings. I don't think it's very likely. Sometimes they threaten each other that one is going to move out but they never do. Since my mom isn't beating me and I'm safe in the house from physical harm, I don't really have a reason to want to get away from her so badly.

My parents don't really do the "sitting down together." My mom and dad argue a lot and neither of them wants to admit they're wrong, so they can't really sit down and talk about things.

I have offers from friends to let me come stay with them, at least for a while. I have money in a bank account that I could have access to.

I called your line last night and I know my situation is not really what the organization is about, but I wasn't sure who else to call. I spoke to someone who was very helpful considering my case. She referred me to another number because they could probably deal with whatever I'm going through better than here. Thank you for trying to help me.

[ccsmod5]

Re: Mom's being overcontrolling, I want to run away...

Hello,

Thanks again for calling in yesterday and reaching out to us. Sounds like with the help of someone in our call center you were able to figure out what you might need. We hear you saying that maybe we're not the organization to help-were you able to find something/someone that could help a little more than us? Here is an agency that might be able to offer some more resources or ideas on what you and your family can do:

http://www.nami.org/

See what it is that they can help with and if nothing comes of that, please call us again and we'll try and find something better for you.

Best of luck,
NRS