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Going to runaway but where do I stay?

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  • Going to runaway but where do I stay?

    I'm planning on running away very soon like tomorrow. My father is mentally ill with a disease (it just hasn't been diagnosed yet) or I think he's on something and doesn't live with me thank god but keeps trying to force me to come over to his run down apartment. My older brother has stopped contacting our family and my younger sister gets whatever the hell she wants. My mother is very demanding and i only started school about a week ago but I can't take it. I have 3 cousins with cancer, 2 aunts with cancer and a younger brother dying from a.l.l. whom i've already had to donate bone marrow to twice and blood to more than 10 times but its useless. I can't watch his health deteriorate any more and I even thought about commiting suicide but I dont have the nerve. i am going to runaway tomorrow instead of walking to school but i need to find a shelter or something or just what to bring before I leave...

  • #2
    Re: Going to runaway but where do I stay?

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard and we sincerely hope that we can be of service to you in this time of need. Your story is truly one for the ages and we certainly here you on the fact that life is very overwhelming because so much is happening within your family. It sounds like you are going through a very stressful period when life demands so much of your time and to spend it trying to figure out how you fit into all the chaos around you while trying to adjust to life outside of your home at the same time must be exhausting. The expectations to do well in school and the burden to commit to so much at home at once is something that deserves special care and attention. It certainly makes sense for why you feel that running away is probably the best option for you at this point.

    As a crisis intervention worker, our policy is not to say whether it is right or wrong to runaway but we are here to guide you with whatever decision you want to make. We are also here to figure out what sorts of options you have and whether you have a plan to runaway or if you stuck it out, how you plan to find time for yourself throughout it all. How are you holding up? Do you have people around you to support you right now? Are you able to find time out of your busy day to take a breath and release your frustration in a positive manner? Everyone needs at least twenty minutes a day for themselves and with the amount of issues you wrote in about, it seems like you do deserve some time away from it all. Do you have any relatives that you get along with that you are able to go spend some time with? You stated that your mother is demanding. Do you mean that she demand of your time and your efforts to take care of everything in the family or is she simply demanding of you to stay put and not be able to find time to distract yourself from it all? Do you have other activities outside of your family to distract yourself for a few hours a day? What are some things you can think of so that you are able to be in the house less than you are now?

    The reason for these question to to establish a pattern for you to take notice more often of what is important to you in the situations you are facing. The issue at hand is one in which you have to asked yourself if running away is the only option but only you can decide that at the last moment. We are not sure of your age but if you are a minor it is important to know that running away is not a crime but it gives you a status as a runaway if your legal guardian was to file a runaway report and stays with you until you return home or brought back home by the police. It is also important to consider where you are going to stay and whom you are going to stay with since a runaway really has no place to go unless they have something worked out beforehand. When we say you have no place to go it simply means that you cannot legally stay with friends or relative unless you were permitted by your legal guardian. Your legal guardian does have the right to bring charges against any adults you stay with for any length of time. It is call harboring a runaway and is punishable by imprisonment, so you have to be extra careful and plan ahead. Planning ahead is often the best option because you do have the right to stay at the shelter but after a few days, the shelter is expected to notify your parents of your whereabouts. However, we do have a database with information on shelters for you if you wanted to call us at our 24 hour hotline number at 1800runaway. We are extremely confidential and no one is going to know that you spoke to us.

    You also mentioned that you thought about suicide. How long has it been since you have been feeling this way? The fact that you said that you do not have the nerve to do it means that you need to at least give yourself some time to source everything out now because it is best that you are able to say if you are never going to do it or if you need more guidance to get to a place where you are able to handle the pressure and to prevent you from having these thoughts. We are here to talk with you about these feelings you are having and to help you recognize ways to get through it. You do sound like a strong individual who have been through a lot and just need someone to guide you through this crucial phase of your life. We are all here to help and understand that you are in need and can help you put together a plan that is going to empower you to make the right choice. Good luck and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Going to runaway but where do I stay?

      I really don't have a plan and there isn't anybody I'd like to stay with. All I'm doing is making a plan to get to ...from ... but I need to find some shelter I can stay at for a little. I think I'm still suicidal but it's more just schemes of how to end everything. My mother is very demanding of me to be the strong one because if I'm not my siblings will break down, I also have to take care of the house because she has 2 jobs that she works at and school is important to her while I know I shouldn't even be there. I don't know if I want help for my suicidal thoughts and I guess depression, you would call it unless it'll give me a break to get away from my broken family. I've come close to telling my mom but I don't think she'd take me too seriously she never has. My depression has gotten the best of my negative emotions though and I think I've developed a sadistic personality disorder which I don't know if I need help for or not. Anyways I'm leaving in the morning.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Going to runaway but where do I stay?

        Hello,

        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard again and we appreciate you for taking the time to figure out your situation. It really shows your seriousness and commitment to get help before you run away from home. We imagine that it must be difficult for you not to have a precise plan but it sounds like your mind is made up for where you are heading. When you do get to where you are heading, do you know where you are going to stay and how you are going to fund your way there? This is what we mean to have a plan, so that you have something to fall back on if you found yourself stuck when you get there. We do have a database for shelters but not sure specifically where to start looking for you since we are not sure where in that city you want to go. However, we are here to help if you could find some time to call us at 1800runaway. We rather offer it to you on the phone because we are confidential and do not want to put it down via internet.

        You desire to end it, which includes the thoughts around suicide, but it seems to be connected to the burden that is placed on you within your home. It is not fair that this burden has been placed on you at this point when you have so much more stress with school. It is something of a compliment to say that you have to be strong if you have been known to be strong in the past but it also is a tough job to do if you are not able to express yourself in the ways that is appropriate to maintain sound body and good mental health. By the way, what is going to become of school when you run? Is it likely that you would continue if you ever decided to return? Since school is more important to your mother, is it likely that you could become interested in something more skilled base? Have you ever heard of Job Corps? We have that resource here if you need it. It sounds like you are living a full time life at home with lots of adult responsibility. What is the possibility that mom could find someone else to take on some of that burden at home?

        The last thing we wanted you to consider until the morning was what if you did tell your mother and she surprised you with a different answer? Since you only came close to telling her, what is preventing you from taking it all the way? There are ways to help mend something that is broken and if the proper time was taken to seek counseling or family therapy it is just one step towards self fullfillment and healing within the family. It is taking the time to just say that I need help and actually searching around for it. We do have endless amount of couseling information and maybe there are resources that could have you stay at their facility so that you are able to get away from home for some time. The end result if you do not figure out a way for youself is to call us to help guide you along. It sounds like life for you has only led to experiencing mostly negative emotions and if you wanted referrals to talk to someone professionally about your disorder we are here to help with guiding you to the right source. However, if the morning comes and you do decide to leave home, then we do wish you luck and hope that you stay safe wherever you travel. If you find yourself stranded and in need of referrals, feel free to call us from any payphone. Our number is free from wherever you call. Good luck.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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