16- Struggling> Help

[Guest]

[b] Hi I am 16 female. I really need your help. If i don't receive HELP soon then i might as well ******.
I AM not Quite Sure What to do. ONLIne posting bulletin is the only way i got access to communicate with HEre. I Go to an online School and i am doing horrible in it. I still plan to finish it but i am struggling because of the issues i got at home. I Don't feel safe here and its just horrible living here. I really need someone to guide me through this please because i don;t want to suffer anymore. I don't know where a housing is for teens. I need somewhere to live until im 18. THere is no way me and the parents could fix this at all. I WANT TO LeaVE NOW !BUT WHERE DO I GO? I HAve been through this.............................................. ..........
CHIld abuse[ because my mom slaps me for no reason]
Neglet[lack of food, personal stuff, clothes, no glasses and i really need them, I broke a piece of my teeth and it was painful but i don't think they want to pay for anything so i don't ask. My mom aready told me to NEver ask me for money never ask me for a ride somewhere. no family love at all]
Child labor[ MAinly get stuck watching my little sister every since she was born]
This is personal [ my step dad try to touch me down there before] I remove his hand and moved.i think he was drunk???
{my mom has already told me that she doesn't care about me}
{verbal abuse ; both parents usually called me negative names}
Please help me email me to guide me through this so i could IM to talk to you about this since i don't got a phone.

Right now i'm not talking to neither parents and I been struggling . I really want to find a place to live. I am almost turning 17 in march.
MY parents don't love me [ i know so]No FAmily counseling is going to fix it . NoTHING IS GOING TO FIX THIS. I don't love my parents nor hate them. PLEASE HELP. I WAnt to GRaduate from high school. THIS WHole thing effects me.

[ccsmod8]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Switchboard. We are glad that you wrote to us. We want you to know that you are not alone and have us as a place to provide 24 hour support. We are confidential and anonymous. We are not in the position to tell you what to do. Therefore, we will never force counseling resources on you if you do not wish for that sort of help. However, do you have someone you can reach out to if you need to vent? We hear how difficult it is for you because you do not have a phone to reach out but we can be reached by pay phone toll free at 1800RUNAWAY. We can be a listening ear in time of need.

You do not deserve this sort of treatment and it is not fair to you for what is happening at home. Have you ever thought of filing a report about your situation? We are not in the position to define abuse or neglect but based on what you have described it sounds like you are in a situation that may not be the healthiest environment to strive in. We are mandated reporters here although we are confidential. We can advocate for you by calling the appropriate agencies in your area to file a report. However, we can remain confidential if you wish. We cannot guarantee the outcome of such a report but we have to do our part if you were to offer us names, addresses, and numbers of those involve. How are you coping with the stress? Are you able to distract yourself from the situation at home?

We cannot contact you directly because we are not able to since we are confidential but we hope that you find a way to reach us directly to talk about this issue. We can provide a listening ear or resources for shelters or transitional living programs in your area. These agencies serve a safe place where you can get support. The one catch is that they are required to get consent from parents after a few days. However, they are mandated to report such things also. We wish you to remain strong and know that we are here whenever you wish to call, if possible, or reach out for more resources. Good luck.


-NRS

[Guest]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

I try to be happy. I exercise a lot so it will help me be not stress that much. I need to deal with this situation and i need guidance. I don;t want to file a report but is that what really has to be done? I really need some help. I think my parents are really pist off at me for not taking care of their daughter and not cleaning at the house; I really don't want to file a report i just want to leave and don;t cause my parents trouble , let me know what you think i should do. I really want to run away.

[ccsmod1]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

Thanks for sharing more with us. It's great that you try to keep yourself healthy. We aren't able to tell you what the best option is to do. It's up to you to decide which direction you want to take.

You mentioned in your first post that your goal is to figure out a way to leave your house.
When you're a minor there are only a few legal ways to not live at home:
-Get your parent's permission to live elsewhere.
-Be removed by Child Protective Services due to abuse/neglect. The first step to start this process is to file an abuse/neglect report. (for more info on this go to: http://www.childhelp.org)
-Get emancipated. Not every state has such laws, but this is when a minor can petition the courts to become their own guardian before the age of 18. This is many times a long process and the youth's parents are often involved. The youth almost always has to prove that they can take care of themselve financially.

You also mentioned wanting to find housing for teens. There are youth shelters, but because you're a minor they would need your parents permission in order for you to stay there. Also, many shelters are short term (few weeks to a few months), but there are also Transitional Living Programs which youth can sometimes stay longer. If you want to find a list of such shelters, you can go to: http://ncfy.acf.hhs.gov/locate/index.htm or http://www.nationalsafeplace.org. While shelters would need permission for you to stay, they do also have caseworkers and youth advocates that might be able to help you talk to your parents and figure out a solution that works for everyone.

Unfortunately we do not have IM or any other way to have a ongoing conversation with you via the internet. The bulletin boards aren't meant to have back-and-forth discussions. If you want to talk to someone in more detail about the sitution or the options, we'll be here when you're able to call. Someone is here day and night.

[Guest]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

Hi this is me. and today i went to ask more information about housing. They say i might not be able to go to one . WHY ??? because of my age. im 16. I talk to one person who told me something about family counseling. I told him no. and he really wanted me to do this program. and i didn't want to . I think i confused him and he confused me. I think he didn;t want to help me because i don't live in the same county. I only came there because there is no other transitional housing near me expect that one and one other one.I Don't know what to do. Please help i think you understand my situation a little bit more than any one else. and i only trust you guys. Do i really have to go to a foster home because i really don't want to go. I really need to do something about this. like right now. its so difficult. i don't know why i am a live. I honestly want to die. I want to die. I was trying to get ran over today but didn't get ran over. I feel so Horrible. I got a huge headache right now. and its from all the crying when i describe my story to this one dude that was supose to help me.

[ccsmod3]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

We are sorry to hear that you did not have a good experience when you looked into housing. Housing can be difficult to obtain when you are a minor. Family counseling can be one option, but it sounds like something you didn’t want to do. Many TLPs/Housing programs have requirements due to legal reasons and licensure. Shelters generally need a separate license for minors and adults. Also, shelters that accept minors would generally have to contact either a parent/guardian or sometimes CPS if there is abuse. It sounds like you are feeling pretty terrible right now and we are sorry to hear that you feel like you want to die. If you are feeling suicidal, you can call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss things in more detail. Or, you could always call 1-800-273-TALK, which is a suicide hotline. Whichever one you decide we hope that you are able to stay safe in the mean time.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

i am still suffering.

[ccsmod8]

Re: 16- Struggling> Help

Hello,

We appreciate your steady responses and glad that you continue to reach out to us that the National Runaway Switchboard for options to cope better with your situation. We are always here for you and want you to know that you are not alone. It sounds like you are still dealing with a lot of the issues you described before. We imagine there are no clear cut solutions right now but it sounds like you are trying the make the best of a difficult situation.

We wish to hear from you directly because the bulletin is one option to tell us how you are feeling. However, we sense you may benefit further from calling as it provides another medium to be heard. It can be helpful to express your feelings to a living person directly. We are good listeners here. We are confidential and anonymous. Your situation is unique to you and we want to continue to be a part of your ever transformative experience.

We are 24 hours and you can reach us at 1800RUNAWAY 7 days a week. We imagine it may help to get things off your chest. We are here to explore other ways to cope as you try to get through this tough time. Please count on us to be here for you. We look forward to your call soon. Good luck.

-NRS