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  • Unsafe "learning"

    School should be a safe haven when life at home is unbearable. I have enough going on in my life to deal with, but school has become no better. I go to a small catholic school and, as most teenagers do, spend most of my time there. All i seem to be able to do is cry or get angry. I feel like school escalates the situation even further.

    I was raped as a small child and sexually assaulted a few years ago also by my grandfather. While working hard to overcome this, I needed therapy to deal with it. My parents know that i was sexually assaulted a few years ago. I asked for therapy, but they said your not crazy, talk to us. My parents constantly verbally abuse me and have since as long as I can remember.

    I went to my school counselor about getting therapy through the school. My counselor was at first very understanding. She listened and attempted to comfort me, but I felt like there was no action or follow through. She mentioned that I could see a counselor at school with parental permission. She called my parents. They were very rude to her never calling back after the initial phone call or responding to notes sent home. When I came home that day, I was bombarded with questions and criticized.

    When I took gym, we had square dancing in our curriculum. I did not wish to dance because my abuse was in the form of "dancing" in front of my entire family, and no one helped me or saved me. Of course, after explaining this to my teacher, I needed a parent note to opt out of this lesson. Again, I get screamed at when I get home for asking and end up doing the lesson with tears in my eyes.

    The subject manner of my classes turned to the subjects of sexuality and rape. The one book we read contained a monster who admired a woman's beauty. She spread her legs in front of the whole mead hall and was cured after seeing between. Also, we read another book in class that mentioned a knight raping a virgin. I feel that these subjects in the classroom without an escape creates no way out for victims. Many other subjects in class have upset me. Some of them are just weird and unique to me, but I feel like my school is insensitive to those who have experienced it.

    The catholic church each year shows a video in class that talks about sexual harassment and how they are so great at preventing it. They are apparently there in times of need. I cannot watch that video any longer or look at my schools sexual harassment policy. It is all lies. My teacher has been touching me and making inappropriate comments and staring for 2 years. I mentioned 3 different events to the principal,administrator of student affairs, and my guidance counselor. He is still a teacher here at my school and continues to make me uncomfortable. After this, he did not get anything more than spoken to about it. They called my parents to alert them about the situation though. They stated that I was overreacting. My school said that I could not go to counseling for this without parental permission.

    Nothing can be done in this school without parental permission. I wish that they accepted that not all parents have their child's best interests in mind. I begged to get help to be healthy and fix my addictions and pain and eating disorder, but they did not allow it. I wish my school would understand that my parents need to be left out of my affairs.

    I have found a place for therapy, but it is too expensive. I can only go a couple times a year. My parents do not know and refuse to pay. I feel scared in my total environment.

  • #2
    Re: Unsafe "learning"

    I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time right now. Everyone should feel safe when at home and if they don’t, then they should feel safe while at school. While we aren’t trained counselors or therapists here, hopefully we can help you to find some resources that may be able to further assist you. I know it’s difficult to take that first step and reach out to someone for help and I’m glad that you did so by contacting us.

    I’m sorry to hear about your rape and sexual assault; I’m also sorry to hear that you feel your parents don’t support you. As I said before, everyone has the right to feel safe at home and it sounds like you don’t. Unfortunately, if you are under the age of 18, many places will require parental consent in order for you to receive counseling but not all places.
    It sounds like you had a very difficult time at home while growing up and that things at school bring up unpleasant memories for you. It also sounds like every time you turn to your school for help, they tell you that your parents must be involved. That must make healing a very difficult process for you.

    Have you ever or would you ever consider filing a report with Child Protective Services (CPS) regarding the abuse that you are experiencing? They would do an investigation and then make a decision about what needs to be done (i.e. mandatory counseling). If your parents didn’t follow through with the ruling, then CPS would remain involved. If you aren’t comfortable making a report on your own, you can call us here and we can help you to make one. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    Another national hotline that may be able to assist you is RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) and they are also available 24 hours a day. They will connect you to your nearest rape crisis hotline and they will be able to provide you with further information, support and crisis intervention. Their number is 1-800-656-4673 and their website is www.rainn.org

    You mentioned that you had begged the school for help with your addictions, pain and eating disorder; is that something that you would like to talk more about. There may be places, either national or local, that would be able to help you with those. If you would like more information or resources, remember we are here 24 hours a day; you can call us at anytime. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck with everything.

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Unsafe "learning"

      Thank you for your response. It is nice to hear that I am not completely crazy. I have spoke to RAINN, and they provided some help as far as how to get closure.

      What sort of things could I report to CPS? My parents are not beating me physically or neglecting me by definition. It is an verbal abusive thing. They are really only denying me therapy. Were you referring to the school abuse?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Unsafe "learning"

        We are glad to hear that you have spoken to RAINN and they were about to provide some help. As far as the CPS reporting, sometimes it is difficult to file a report if physical abuse is not involved since it is harder to prove verbal/ emotional or neglect. Not that anyone deserves either of those, but unfortunately physical abuse can be easier to document, therefore easier to report. If you feel they are denying you therapy, many states offer a few sessions before getting the parents involved and if you would like those resources we would be happy to provide you with either sliding scale or free counseling referrals. In terms of school abuse, that would probably have to involve your school. One resource that may be of help is Child Help USA. They are for information/ direction only (meaning they wouldn’t’ make the actual report) and can be reached at 1-800-422-4453. We hope that you are able to get therapy and get past all of the difficult things you are going through. Best of luck!

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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