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    Idk what to do. My dad has battled drug addiction for over 20 years and caused my life to be hell on earth. My parents divorced when I was young, but he still had joint-custody. Which was enough to inflict years of damage. He never hurt me really, but addiction takes a toll on a person who loves an addict. My mom re-married years ago and she has depression. She's on zoloft, including my sister. She wants me to be perfect. If I slip up w/ grades or around the house she and my stepdad go crazy because "they're sick of repeating themselves" and I "disrespect them" but I feel like they have zero respect for me.

    One time I was over my boyfriend's house and before I left my mom told me I wasn't allowed to be in his basement...And when We didn't hear the doorbell ring and I came home with a hickey on my neck, I wasn't allowed over his house. Like, part of it is my fault, but i felt like the punishment didnt fit the crime...I'm a teenager...I'm going to do stuff like that.

    Also, I can't talk to my mom about certain things. She wants me to be a virgin until I'm married and I feel like she's trying to make sure that it happens.(But it's a little too late now)

    I honestly love my mom. But I have had it with not being able to get through to her and have her understand me, it's her way or the highway with no grounds for compromise it seems. And It doesnt help that I have depression bc of stress and what not from my father's addiction. I don't talk to my dad anymore and my stepdad is always mad at me for stupid things. I feel like I'm stuck. And it's not like I can just go away for a few hours to cool off...i did that once and got grounded bc of it. I'm stressed and sick and tired of being the one who's always at fault. Is it me, or are they emotionally abusive?

    It's gotten bad, my sister who's 18 wants to move out, but has a part time job and no ambition it seems. I don't get her either, but they constantly fight. If she had the money, she would move in a heartbeat. I feel alone.

    -One Who Needs Answers & Help

  • #2
    Re: Help

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you’ve been through more than someone your age should have to go through. From what you wrote, both of your parents have their own struggles (additions and depression), and of course, you are also greatly affected. You’re absolutely right that addition takes a toll on those that love that addict as well. These are situations that are especially hard to be in because it’s nothing you did to get in them, but you’re still changed by them. We’re glad that you reached out to us today. There are several issues that you identified in your bulletin, parent’s struggles that affect you, your mom’s expectations and consequences for certain actions she’s not okay with, feeling not respected, stressed and tired. These things are a lot for anyone to be dealing with.

    Do you have people in your life that you can turn to and support you? You mentioned your sister, but also mentioned she would move out if she could. Have you ever talked to someone in a more “professional” setting about all of this? Possibly a school counselor or therapist? Do you think something like this would ever help? If you do and want help finding someone in your area you can talk to, we maintain a database of services all over the county. There are also support groups for people/teens that are affected by a loved one’s addition. Nar-anon is specifically for “relatives and friends who are concerned about the addiction or drug problem of another”. They have meetings nation-wide and a toll-free number for more information, (800) 477-6291. Their website is http://nar-anon.org. There’s also Families Anonymous, which is a similar support network for families and friends affected by a loved one’s addition. They also have an information line, 1-800-733-5627. They also have online meetings at their website http://www.familiesanonymous.org

    What is it ultimately that you’d like to see happen? Is there any thing that you can do to change the way you’re feeling right now? What are some things you do to cope with having to deal with all of this? Sometimes it helps to have an unbiased, non-judgemental person to talk to. Here at the National Runaway Switchboard we are available for just that. Our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, is completely confidential and anonymous. This means that we don’t trace our calls, we don’t keep records of who calls us and more importantly we don’t tell anyone what callers talk to us about. A big part of what we can do for youth is listen; we don’t tell our callers what to do. We’re also available to talk about options and possible consequences. If you ever need to talk to someone, please call anytime day or night. Best of Luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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