just ran away from my parents because I am so scared of them

[Guest]

i’m turning 20 and I know it sounds silly running away from home, but for 2 years i’ve lived on my own and only moved back because my parents asked me to. I am almost 20 and they still try to tell me when I can or can’t leave the house and it honestly drives me nuts, imagine living freely for 2 years then feeling like you’re chained again. My mum and I have had issues for a while, I remember being 10 and battling her over the craziest stuff. My parents both have 9-5s and believe that school is the only way to do well in life. I struggle a lot with focusing and doing my tasks, making school so difficult for me and I just know I would fail miserably. Every time I try to talk to them about it they just start yelling, calling me names and threatening me. my dad scares me too, because he does everything my mum says. I just can’t live like this. another thing is I don’t come from a completely wealthy family so I started working when I was 15 and started paying my bills then too. since moving back in with my parents (2 weeks) i’ve been looking for a new job and i’m not financially stable at the moment. My parents do not want to pay for me (phone bill) and are saying i’m the most irresponsible kid ever. I know not everyone is the same, but I know if my friends asked their parents for financial help, they would. mine just simply refuse to help me. They always call me a liar but the only reason I lie is because i’m afraid to tell them stuff in my life, they always find a way to turn it against me. They just don’t understand me at all. it makes me so sad because I love them so much but they see me as such a failure. I want to move out again but absolutely cannot afford that right now, especially by living in toronto, where rent for a 1 bed is almost $3000. I’m so so lost. I had to leave the house this morning while my dad was walking the dog so he wouldn’t try to stop me because last night my mother threatened to kick me out, she’s done the same with my older brother before. My phone plan is also under her name (although I pay it) and whenever she’s angry she constantly turns off my data. I’m only mad because I use public transportation and need to know when it’s coming, but also im a girl, toronto is not safe!! what if im in the middle of nowhere and need help?? I’m a very emotional person which upsets my parents, I won’t lie I tend to yell a lot but only because I feel like im only heard when I do that, which also annoys my parents so they yell back. They just scare me, and as much as I love them, I just don’t feel safe at home.

[ccsmod11]

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Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like there's some really, really stressful stuff going on at home, and it makes sense that you're missing the freedoms you once had. It sounds like you're working really hard to build a positive future for yourself, but you need a little extra help. We are here to help as much as we can.

While we are based in the USA and aren't super familiar with Canadian services, we know there might be some programs called Transitional Living Programs (TLPs) designed for people like you in tricky spots. They can help you secure independent housing while you work on school or career while helping you take care of things like financials and counseling. You might try researching if there are TLPs in Toronto or reaching out to Kids Help Phone (https://kidshelpphone.ca/), the youth hotline for Canada. They would have a much better understanding of what resources might be near you!

We also want to stress how important self-care is during this time. Please reach out to your trusted support network for guidance and a listening ear, and practice hobbies that relax you. Maybe this is writing, watching a favorite TV show, or working out. Taking care of your mind and body will help you be better prepared to make tough decisions ahead.

While we provide resources for the USA, we can help you make a plan and talk you through things at home. The NRS is available 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon, good luck!
-NRS Crisis Team