Grandmother

[Guest]

I don't know if I should be on here but I'm struggling at home. I am the oldest out of the 5 of us I'm 16 and get mistreated very poorly my grandmother has called me many names like ungrateful, irresponsible, immature, annoying, lazy, and that I'm no help at all but I do more than what I anybody does in the house I hate it there. I don't know if this is physical abuse but I do know that this is wrong, one time I got in trouble for something honestly I can't even remember because I've been trying to block that memory out but I can't, but anyway, my grandmother was yelling at me saying that I'm useless and that I can't be like her daughter or my cousins and blah blah blah so she was yelling at me I was trying to say something and she slaps me across my face so hard that my ears started ringing and then she started pulling me to her room. she spanks me still at the age of 16 and so she usually spanks me more than what I deserve and I think she does it out of anger. But so on with the story she told me to go to her room and she was grabbing me really hard in between my collarbone and she has nails so she was pretty much stabbing me so I tried to pull away because it hurt and as I did she grabbed my hair and pulled me back really hard. She kept yelling at me and everything I went to throw something in the trash and it was a little dark area so went to throw something away as she was still yelling at me and then I said something and she pushed me against the garage door by the trash can and she puts her hand to my throat and getss in my face and starts screaming at the top of her lungs and she told everything that I did wrong to my grandfather but she never says what she did. I ended up being the bad guy at the end and my whole family got mad at me and my siblings were there in the kitchen watching and they were still on her side. But that isn't even a little of all the things she has done to me and how she treated me. But yeah I'm always the bad guy I'm not sure what to do at this point I'm struggling with school right now in my APUSH class and she is not helpful at all I made two 60s and she found out about it before I did and she starts yelling at me right when my grandpa leaves to go to work she is yelling at me saying there is no way I'm struggling in that class because other people in our family took that class and they did perfectly fine and I just started crying because well she expects me to live up to her daughter's expectations(she is a sophomore in college) she literally wanted me to change my dream career just so I can take the classes what my aunt did (her daughter). I don't know what to do anymore I have a lot more to type but my grandmother thinks that I'm doing my homework and I've been here for like 20 minutes and she rushing me saying that I'm taking forever. But like I'm saying is that every day she is only getting mad at me for stupid reasons and at this point I just want to leave but I really have nowhere to go but I really don't want to stay here anymore because I've stayed with her 7 years I don't think I can stay any longer please help me I do not know what to do anymore my friends tell me to run away to their place but that isn't going to fix anything. Please I've been looking for help for years and sadly I finally chose to do this one when I really needed it and I really need it so, please. Also, one more thing just to show how desperate I am to get out of this place, since I moved here every time I have a chance to make a wish (which is quite of couple of times) the only wish that I make is to move and live back with my mom who is not a responsible parent but she sure does treat me a whole lot better than my grandmother. So please that shows how desperate I am.

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to NRS and being very brave to share your story and your experiences. NRS is sorry to hear about what you are going though at home with your grandmother. There's no reason at all why someone your age should be experiencing any type of mistreatment or abuse. You seem to be very overwhelmed with what you are going through. You shouldn't be going through this with someone who suppose to love and protect you. You did an amazing job at reaching out to NRS for support and NRS is here to listen and help you in any way possible. Your life matters. Your thoughts and your feelings are valuable.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.


Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

The thing is if I do choose to report it and I have to go somewhere else I have nowhere else to go I don't have any family members who would want me and then since I'm the oldest I have to think about my siblings. If I tell my grandfather about this then it's just going to mess the whole family up and they are going to separate I'm most likely going to live with my grandpa but he's always busy with work so I would have to take care of the kids a lot. I just don't want to report but I also don't want to be here anymore.

[ccsmod11]

(If you are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like there might be abuse going on at home that you're thinking about reporting. While we don't know your story exactly, we are so sorry to hear that you are even in the spot that you're in. We're here to listen and to help as much as we possibly can.

You bring up a good point about not knowing what might happen if you file a report. This is so tricky to know for sure. If you are in danger, CPS will make sure you have a safe place to be during the investigation. You might also consider going to a youth shelter or friend's house and then filing from there so you know you have a comfortable and safe place to be. You can visit our friends at Child Help (https://www.childhelp.org/) to learn more about the abuse report filing process.

It also sounds like you might be worried about how to talk to your grandpa about these things. We are more than happy to talk you through what a conversation with him might look like about what's going on if that is what you decide to do. We can also help talk you through your situation and come up with a plan that makes the most sense for your safety and happiness.

We also want to stress how important self-care is during this time. Please reach out to your trusted support network for guidance and a listening ear, and practice hobbies that relax you. Maybe this is writing, watching a favorite TV show, or working out. Taking care of your mind and body will help you be better prepared to make tough decisions ahead.

The NRS is available 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon, good luck!
-NRS Crisis Team