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i am empty

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  • i am empty

    i have been through alot my sister was put into rehab and it made me severely dpressed at age eleven and no one noticed and just when she came back nothign was the same. when i was 12 my grandma got sick then died this oushed me further into not depression but more like emptiness a friend i had in Jr. high got me into cutting then she stopped and started treating me like i was a freak. I stopped hanging out with her but i couldnt connect with anything anymore so i almost commited sucicide. A year after that i realized that i havent felt any major emotions since my grandma's death. I went back to the blade to try to feel but quite frankly its starting to scare me. i realize that if i tell my parents how i feel they wont understand unless i give them the whole story which would land me in an asylum. I no longer want to commit sucicide but all im left with is running away and i cant think of any other options can you give me any besides telling my parents or some one who would send me to an institute?

  • #2
    Re: i am empty


    We appreciate your bravery and willingness to open up to us. At the National Runaway Switchboard, we value your situation. We highly and want you to know that we wish to continue to assist you anyway we can. We imagine it is not easy to be going through so much and you have suffered through a lot of lost. It sounds like cutting helps you cope with the tough situations. We see that you have been put through a lot of pressure after your sister came home and nothing has been the same since.

    Is there anyone you can trust to speak with about how you are feeling? It might help to hear an adult perspective on the situation. We want you to know to we can be reached 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. We are confidential and anonymous. We are all trained the same way and want to help you figure out new ways to cope. Have you thought about seeing a counselor? If you wish to gather local resources to get counseling we have free resources in our database.

    Dealing with these things on your own must be very frustrating. We wonder if you do find time to go out more and do things to detract yourself from the stress more. We imagine that being alone with your thoughts must be even harder on you. How do you feel about the fact that you thought about committing suicide? It shows strength and perseverance on your part that you seek other options now.

    How do you feel about your parents (or other significant people in your life?) Do you know anyone who has committed suicide? Have you ever tried to get help before and would you consider getting help now? It must be hard to go through the situation where your friend made it seem like your methods for coping were not what she considered normal. Is there someone in your life who provides you with support?

    We are sorry to hear that your parents will resort to drastic measures if you opened up about the situation with them. These things can be difficult. Do you have someone who is capable to intervene on your behalf as a moderator?

    Resources can be limited for where you can stay and how far you can get without a plan. Do you have a plan for running away? We have information for shelters in our database also. Shelters have to get consent from your parents after some time though. We are here 24 hours if you wish to speak in person. Have you thought about getting your parents to send you to a relative or even a shelter to cool off? There can be formal and informal approaches to solving this matter. Have you thought about ways to journal or listen to music when you feel alone? It may be simplistic but perhaps it is one stepping stone to figuring a great way to focus on what else you can do in the mean time. We are here if you need us.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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