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should i leave (age 14)
im 14 years old and it feels like my parents can’t accommodate to my needs. i dont think they’re bad people, everything is a shade of grey, but they say hurtful things. i have a lot of traumatic memories that they used to spank me, yell at me, and administer corporal punishment, even though they always deny ever doing it or say “but its legal” which confirms that they did actually do it..
they think i have some level of mental illness half the time, the other half of the time, they think im being dramatic/sadistic and like i want to hurt them. but they make no effort to get me diagnosed. i never wanted to hurt them, i only hurt myself. they found out in march, but were more angry about the legal repercussions, apparently ‘i am being monitored', and no more sharp objects.
i'm scared of them. i really shouldn’t be, since they said all they ever do is love me, and feed me. that fear is something i made up in my head. that i don’t have the right to be scared of them and that feeling is made up. but i’m not just scared of their actions, i’m scared of them. they are full of my fear.
but i didn’t make them. they made me.
im just a coward, kind of, so i always craved leaving my house ever since i was 9, but i’m 14 now and i am too scared to do it, since what if i really love them? have i really always been scared, or can i just not remember loving them before?
maybe this is what they meant when they said i was messed up
but i have nowhere to go, all my family members would look for me. my mom has my friends’ information. she will find me, but i really don’t want to be around her, or my dad, either, since he intimidates me more, even though he can’t do anything (recovering from long-term illness)
my mom scared me again just now. i had to hide the page. she is angry since i’m not sleeping. she said she would never get angry, and my dad defined angry saying that there was hostility and the want to hurt someone. but she’s angry anyway just an hour later.
she complained that i’m not underprivileged, and i have everything i want.
and i wont deny that, i do have a lot of things,
but i do not want this family
even if they get mad at me for feeling that way. “sorry that your life isnt horrible”
is it morally right to leave
they think i have some level of mental illness half the time, the other half of the time, they think im being dramatic/sadistic and like i want to hurt them. but they make no effort to get me diagnosed. i never wanted to hurt them, i only hurt myself. they found out in march, but were more angry about the legal repercussions, apparently ‘i am being monitored', and no more sharp objects.
i'm scared of them. i really shouldn’t be, since they said all they ever do is love me, and feed me. that fear is something i made up in my head. that i don’t have the right to be scared of them and that feeling is made up. but i’m not just scared of their actions, i’m scared of them. they are full of my fear.
but i didn’t make them. they made me.
im just a coward, kind of, so i always craved leaving my house ever since i was 9, but i’m 14 now and i am too scared to do it, since what if i really love them? have i really always been scared, or can i just not remember loving them before?
maybe this is what they meant when they said i was messed up
but i have nowhere to go, all my family members would look for me. my mom has my friends’ information. she will find me, but i really don’t want to be around her, or my dad, either, since he intimidates me more, even though he can’t do anything (recovering from long-term illness)
my mom scared me again just now. i had to hide the page. she is angry since i’m not sleeping. she said she would never get angry, and my dad defined angry saying that there was hostility and the want to hurt someone. but she’s angry anyway just an hour later.
she complained that i’m not underprivileged, and i have everything i want.
and i wont deny that, i do have a lot of things,
but i do not want this family
even if they get mad at me for feeling that way. “sorry that your life isnt horrible”
is it morally right to leave
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