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Should I call cps?

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  • Should I call cps?

    Should i call cps on my parents and what is the process like? Hi, I have never done anything like this before and I don't really talk about my home life so I'm sorry if I leave anything out and make it confusing. So I am 17 years old, I will be 18 in 91 nights (I am counting down the days). I plan on moving out the day I turn 18 because I hate it here but I don't want to leave my little sister (7) alone in this environment. My boyfriend and my bestfriend thinks that I should call CPS because for what all is going on, but I am not so sure so I thought I'd share the situation to get an outsiders opinion. I'm not sure where to start so I'll start with my father. He's a mechanic who works in a city about 40 ish minutes away, so he often doesn't get home until 7 to 8 p.m. He is an alcoholic, he drinks every single night even when he claims we do not have any money or we are on a budget. He smokes weed (I have found the little pipe and have a picture of it). He vapes (I am not sure if this is wrong, I know it can give children second hand smoke and such but I don't know if that's like a crime). He also never shows up to any of my events (Beta club induction, seeing me before prom, etc.) He gaslights my mother (the other day he knew she was stressed out from work and accused her of yelling when she wasn't to the point where she was so frustrated that she couldn't speak to him for a little bit). He has smacked me once in the face and I had bruise but it has been about 2 years since then. He pays all the bills late, like on the very last day before they are due (again, not sure if this is an issue but it's caused them to be unable to buy a 2nd car because of their poor credit). He also accused me of stealing pills to help deal with stress from school (I am not doing this). My mother is on two blood pressure medicines and one anxiety medicine. She often makes me feel bad about my grades and my body. She can be really frustrating because she practically expects me to be her servant. Anytime she needs something to drink or she needs another cigarette, I have to stop doing whatever I am doing to come and cater to her. She does not drive because she has frequent panic attacks, therefore my grandparents and sometimes my dad has to drive her everywhere she wants to go. She does not wash her or my little sisters clothing. I am responsible for doing mine, my mother's, my little sister's, and the house (towels and such) laundry. If my little sister does not have clean underwear or other kind of clothes, I am blamed for it. On that note, I'll start talking about the mistreatment of my little sister. She is seven years old and still sleeps in the bed with her mother, even though she doesn't want to (her mother guilts her into it and it is too cold for her to sleep elsewhere). She is very thin (she is barely 40 lbs and she's quite tall for her age). I think her thinness is due to the fact that they don't provide nutritious food on a regular schedule. My parents haven't been cooking a lot lately so she's been eating a lot of lunchabales and spaghetti-os for dinner. There have been times when my parents are both off where my sister and I haven't eaten until noon (or later). She is not bathed regularly. Because we do not have a working shower, we have to take baths. However, she is only bathed (at most) once a week. She frequently has tangled hair (since it's not being washed or conditioned regularly), dirty fingernails (again from lack of bathing), and she often smells musty. We have a leak underneath our house that has not been fixed in years so I believe that it is causing our house to grow mold (it use to be on the ceiling in one room but my mom painted over it). We have no heat. My parents have three little plug in heaters, (they only run 2), and we can barely keep it in the high 60s in our house. Unfortunately, I do not have a heater upstairs and it gets significantly colder in my room (it was 62 degrees this morning). We also have a flea infestation. They are everywhere. The dog is covered in them. The furniture. Everything. I have pictures of flea bites that I have found on myself and I have found fleas on my little sister and in her bath water (from when we were at someone else's house). We have had a rat problem before and I have seen quite a few roaches, but the flea problem was caused from bringing in two stray cats (they were not given a flea bath when we brought them in and they're not vaccinated) that now spend all of their time in a cage. The dog is not kept in a cage but it is not let outside (it uses a puppy pad) so our house frequently smells like pee. Also, we are pretty sure that one of the cats has digestive issues or something because she frequently is constipated and cannot go for 3 or more days but they have not taken her to the vet. Our house is also just very messy. Like extremely cluttered feeling. In addition to all of that, the dentist told me that I had 7 cavities two years ago and they still haven't taken me to get them fixed. I have not been to the doctor this year. K am also not allowed to have a job and my parents cannot afford to buy me a car. I am not allowed to have a job because they don't believe that I should have my own money because "what am I trying to buy that they cannot pay for?" They have not saved for my college tution at all. Plus, they make it such a hassle to let me see my boyfriend. I have made mistakes in the past but I have matured now and I should not have to give an arm and a leg to see my boyfriend once every 3 weeks. They make me feel bad when I ask them to pay my phone bill (and Im not even allowed to have it in my bedroom). They will not let me withdraw from a class that I do not need (I don't need it to graduate and it's a class that was only useful for the career they tried to push me into to make them proud) and i almost have a d in this class and I am literally failing every single test.. I can deal with these issues until I turn 18 but the thought of my little sister living in that environment without me there to wash her clothes, do the dishes, and all that for her makes me physically sick. I am so stressed from school (I am in a program where I am working to get my associates degree and high school diploma), dealing with normal teen problems (being insecure and stuff like that), being apart of the lgbtq+ community in the south, and dealing with my parents and my environment that I have missed a period (I know I'm not pregnant), I'm losing hair, I've seen an increase in my appetite, irritability, and fatigue, and I'm struggling with depression and anxiety. I am not sure if that is 100% everything but I feel like it sums up most of it.

  • #2
    We are glad you reached out to us for help. From what you describe you have been through a very difficult home life experience. It is amazing you have maintained a plan for yourself and getting an associate’s degree along with your high school diploma. That is quite an accomplishment especially with the lack of parental support and inadequate home environment.

    We are a non-directive agency, that means we don’t tell youth what to do, but we discuss all the options and help you come up with a plan that works best for you. After you have a plan, we help you get to agencies/programs in your local community that can give you the support and resources to help you achieve it.

    From the information you did provide, it does sound like there are some serious concerns that need to be evaluated by Child Protective Services. Those would include proper nourishment, adequate hygiene, a livable home environment with adequate heat and no bug/insect/rodent infestation, and no health hazards such as mold.

    We can help you focus a neglect/abuse report and we can also file it for you. We would need to talk with you in more detail to discuss the reporting process, what is required and what to expect so you can make an information decision on filing the report.

    We also would like to talk with you about your situation and how you will transition to being out of the house and on your own. It sounds like you could use some medical/dental services and perhaps some counseling to get some support/strategies to cope with the post traumatic stress of growing up in that environment.

    You can contact us anytime 24/7, either through a chat on our website or a call to our crisis hotline at 1(800) RUNAWAY. Both are completely confidential. We hope to hear from you soon.

    Good luck,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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