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20 controlling parents, planning on moving out

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  • 20 controlling parents, planning on moving out

    hi, i’m 20 years old and my parents are strict and extremely controlling over me. i can’t go anywhere or do anything by myself. i have basically no independence or control over my life. they act as if i’m a child and can’t make my own decisions though i’m 20 and in my third year of college. i suffer from depression and went to therapy for a couple years but it hasn’t helped me much since i still feel trapped in this house. my narcissistic father doesn’t speak to me or trust me anymore because i snuck out once to see my boyfriend and got caught by him. as punishment, he removed all the money i earned from my bank account (basically stealing from me) and put it in his. my parents argue everyday and my dad is very emotionally and verbally abusive. i don’t want to live in this toxic environment anymore bc it’s affecting my ability to focus in college as well as my overall mental health. my boyfriend has offered for me to stay at his place but i’m scared to move out since i’m not used to being on my own. my parents have made me very dependent on them so leaving brings a lot of anxiety and worry for me. i’m concerned whether i’ll be okay on my own and i know my parents won’t approve of me living with my boyfriend since they wouldn’t even let me see him.

  • #2
    Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are in a tough spot at home and your parents are being over controlling and treating you like a kid. That sounds very frustrating. That also does not sound like the right way to punish by dad stealing from you, that is not okay. It sounds like your boyfriend has offered to let you stay with him and that is an option you are considering, even though your parents may not approve of that. You are 20 and this is your decision to make. In most states, the age of majority is 18, so you can legally leave and go to your boyfriends if you are feeling that is a better and safer place for you to be. If you would like to talk through this more, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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