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Fifteen-year old Canadian needing an escape

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  • Fifteen-year old Canadian needing an escape

    I will go by 'R', I am a long term abuse victim/domestic violence victim.

    I've never felt safe, loved, accepted or appreciated by my parents my entire fifteen years of life. I do not speak to my dad after legal charges against him failed to go to court for assaulting me; by restraining me in a chokehold, scratching his nails into my arms (leaving bruises and marks on my body), and hit me onto the kitchen floor when I ran out of his bedroom.
    I currently live with my bi-polar mother and her bestfriend. We do not have a house of our own, she could even lose her car from it breaking down so often. She's started to ignore my presence in the house the last couple months, won't talk to me or look at me on a daily basis. Four days ago she told me to "Go die" , "Nope, I wouldn't care if you died tomorrow" , "Cunt" , "Go die you are the worst person I know". I left the house we're staying at and went to my friends for three days.

    She texted me when I was gone only saying "When are you coming back you need to do the cat litter" and "Where is my hair dye?". I feel distraught on what to do or who I can reach out to, I feel the need to escape and cut contact. I have no family to leave and stay with, I have no adults that support me. I want to take legal measures to leave my home and go through the Independent Living process. Due to my MH issues I can barely keep up with my career-high (outreach schooling) and now - with the realization that I'm going to have to start working part-time to support my needs , I'm scared I'm going to have to drop out of school in order to live. .

    I support myself independently at home, she does not care for me other than buying grocers every two-three weeks depending (basically just once on the first of every month until I beg to go the store or she orders delivered fast food and not actual food for a week/weeks.). It is up to me to make sure I am taken care of because no one will do it for me.
    If I lived alone with her without her best friend buying groceries regularly for her, + her daughter. I wouldn't have days worth of food to eat by the time she considered going to the store again something I've had to deal with in her care before. I run to the store with her debit card and do my own shopping for myself and my cats. She want's nothing to do with taking care of me or the animals she got me except when I finally bargain and force her to run and pick up cat litter because its too heavy for me to haul home with the food. She's dragged me in and out of her boyfriends home since she left my dad four years ago, and continues to diminish her mental state by dating men and needing their validation. I want nothing to do with her anymore, I feel so dead to our relationship. We have said unforgivable things to each other and she refuses to apologize, communicate, or change when I've accepted her and welcomed her back into my life mentally/physically so many times.. I'm positive in the idea that I mean nothing to her in her state of mind, because my existence as her child isn't even worth a "good morning" anymore.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you are going through an immensely difficult and lonely time at home with an absent mother. We are sorry that you are facing mental health challenges, having to essential live and support yourself with basic needs all will not receiving love, respect, or affection from your parent. Our heart goes out to you – you deserve to be loved and protected by your parent.

    We realize how much courage it takes to reach out for help. Unfortunately, the National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/

    You mentioned dealing with mental health issues and we care about your mental well-being. Although this is outside our database and we are uncertain if this is a reliable source, perhaps try Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566 or to connect to a mental health professional one-on-one, call 1-888-668-6810 or text WELLNESS to 686868 for youth for further support, as well.

    In the event that you feel you are being physically harmed, if you are able to call your local authority, we would recommend that. Or, at the very least, perhaps share with a family, friend, or school guidance counselor that you could trust – you deserve support during this time. If these resources do not help, please reach back out and we can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

    Please be safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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